In a journal entry from AD 1045, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III Wrote:"Why didn't you?"
That's what she asked me.
"Because I looked at him and I saw myself."
Toothless was every bit as frightened as I was.  Here we were, two kids, both of us still growing up, pushed into a war because our elders told us that was how things were, how they had been, since man and dragon first fought and killed each other.
When she asked, first I said that I couldn't kill a dragon, but then I realized that I wouldn't.  Three hundred years and I was the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon.
I was the first to ride one, though.
We were the first to look at the cycle of 'they kill us, we kill them, back and forth until everyone is scarred and dead' and say 'no.' 
I looked at him and I saw myself.  Someone who had grown up with this, who had been told that it was fight or die, who was scared out of his mind at what the other would do.  Who, when he had the chance to kill, chose not to.
I've thought about that choice a lot, especially over the last few years.  So many people are afraid of us—of me—for what I might do to them.  Because that's what they would do, or that's what others would do, and why should I be any different?  Or what my kids might do after me. 
I don't know if I can look at them and see myself, but that doesn't matter.  Because, when it came down to it, in that moment, I looked at someone that I had been told for my whole life was a monster, was the enemy and who had to be killed without mercy.  "Extremely dangerous, kill on sight."  I looked at him and I said…
"No."
And I broke the cycle with that choice.  I cut the ropes that bound him—ropes I had put there—and I set him free.  And I could have died.
But I didn't.
Because Toothless made the same choice as he saw me make. 
We were both scared kids, not even really adults yet, and we made that choice. 
And that's what I'm going to keep on doing, making that same choice, over and over and over, and seeing who I can get to come with me this time.  And if they try to kill me, I'll stop them… but I'll give them a chance first. 
I have to. 
Because to break the cycle of fear, someone has to stand up and show trust.  Even if they don't deserve it.  Maybe especially if they don't.  Because they might be caught in that cycle and have no one to trust. 
After all, I was told that a dragon always goes for the kill.
Except when they don't.  Because Toothless had been told that a Viking always goes for the kill.
Except when I didn't. 
Since then, there have been people who slapped my hand away and forced me to defend myself and my people.  More than I want to count.  I've killed thousands of people, man and dragon, defending my people.  Tens of thousands.  But I give them a chance to change the path that they've set themselves.  I have to. 
Because sometimes…
Sometimes they change.
And how could I live with myself if I didn't give them the same chance as I gave my best friend?

(04-17-2019, 09:28 PM)Shepherd Wrote: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18300995/chapters/43850149
Aftershocks (Girl Genius/Stargate SG:1).