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"She is a formidable fighter -- and there is a very good chance that she has been sent to kill you."
"Kill me? What did I do?
"Absolutely nothing!"
"...Father. What did you do?"

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Hah. If anything, the *last* panel was even better. But it really needs some background in order to work as a quote.
And besides, without the associated *visual*, the full impact isn't quite there.
What are you still reading this for? Go check out the link!

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" TELL . . .ME . . .WHERE IS THE PRIN---" Nephrite had the ability to fly, teleport, fire bolts of black energy and generate a very impressive force field . Unfortunately he couldn't do them all at the same time.
"I bet this is gonna' hurt."
Nephrite looked down in surprise. He had little interest in humans, except as food for his Youma. The small crippled human had escaped his notice. And normally a single human girl would have been no more dangerous to the Dark General than a butterfly.
However Nephrite was entirely concentrated on the attack . . .his force field was at minimum strength. And Soban had Smith & Wesson's finest product pressed between his legs. Even at minimum strength his force field could not be penetrated by a handgun . . . not completely. But the 240 grain .44 caliber slug left the barrel at 1100 feet/second and only had to travel about 3cm before impact. Screaming in a voice only dogs could hear Nephrite dropped Venus and fell to the ground curled in a foetal position.

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I lack magical powers, since I have neither mage-sight nor the most important talent of the magician, which is the ability to say phrases like, By the all-seeing Eye of the Vishanti, may the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak protect me! without breaking down in an attack of the giggles.

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That was when the Potions master wondered just what was in those sherbet lemons the headmaster claimed he had liked ever since a Muggleborn student happened to leave a tin of them in his dorm room when departing the school for summer.

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"If Mrs. M. faced down the Gestapo, live, at age twenty, then Sauron in a crystal ball should be a piece of cake. After all didnt Radagast say that his Evil Eye thing did not work on the Human mind? That should make it alright."
Minimauw, who had been cleaning her whiskers, while sitting on the table (She was allowed.Try stopping her.) decided to investigate that curious round object that was keeping her minders (dogs have owners; cats have servants) from paying attention to her, and delicately sniffed at the Palantir. Then she patted it with a dainty white-socked paw.
"I AM HERE."
Bristling up her fur, Minimauw became twice her size as she hissed and spat at the glowing ball.
"Oh my!" cried mrs. Mertens, "What brought that on?"
"Here we go again." said Franky., " One Big-eyed Evil, coming up."
"I SEE YOU!"
"How could you fail to, with an eye like that?"
"Mister van Ree! That was rude! " said Mrs. Mertens, admonishingly, " One does not poke fun at a persons handicap."
""But he is Sauron! "
"That is no reason to forget ones manners." said the old lady primly, and turned her attention to the Palantir.
"Good evening, mr. Sauron. I hope we did not interrupt you in anything important"
"Yes, like planning to take over Middle Earth!" quipped Franky.
"Mr. van Ree! Please!"
"I WILL FIND YOU. I WILL FIND YOU BOTH AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND YOU."
"Now now, there is no need for such threats. The young man is very sorry for his silly jokes arent you, mr. Van Ree? and he does apologise"
"YOU WILL SUFFER."
"Please dont take it like this. We dont mean to bother you. In fact, our problem would be solved, and we would not trouble you further if you could just clear the line on this Palantir"

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Excuse me Kakashi, I need to tie my shoelaces. Gai stated and bent over. That was it. As Gais spandex suit revealed things Kakashi never wanted to ever lay eyes upon, his visible eye went wide before he covered it with his arm like a vampire exposed to sunlight. His other hand making warding gestures.
By the gods noooooo!

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"So, whatta I do about the -" Ranma made a gesture in the direction of the station.
"Keep quiet, follow my lead, try to act normal," said Misato.
"See, that's kinda a problem," said Ranma. "On account I don't actually KNOW normal. Normal isn't something I've seen except maybe at a distance. My life is kinda ABnormal, if ya get my drift."

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"So robots have a hell?"
"It's in New Jersey."
Anyanka nodded sagely. It would pretty much have to be.
-- from Wishes, Chapter 12, by ShayneT

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If you're interested in amusing quotes then here is a file of such quotes that I've been slowly building for nearly a decade.

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Do you have any idea just where in the hell these guys came from? Jim Gordon asked.
Nightwing shook his head as he stood side-by-side with the veteran police officer. Ive got some ideas. I think Ill get some answers once I start kicking them in the head.
I beg your pardon? Jim Gordon realized that he should have been used to such a bizarre sense of logic after spending all this time working with masked vigilantes with questionable psychological backgrounds.
You can tell a lot about somebody from how they react to somebody kicking them in the head, Nightwing replied in a sagely manner.
And to think that I was hoping this man would marry my daughter, Gordon thought. Son, youve picked a disturbing way to find out how people tick.
Commissioner, please bear in mind that Ive kicked a lot of people in the head.
Jim Gordon couldnt deny that.

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"Ranma! Wow! I found you again! This is so cool!
I mean I didn't think I'd ever do it but it was so cool to
be back in Japan again that I didn't really worry because how
many girls named Ranma could there be? Did you know that
Shampoo didn't know what a phone book was? Not that
you're listed--"
The second girl prodded Usagi with a bonbori
impatiently.
"Oh, right... Um, I gotta kill you. Sorry about
this."

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Setsuna sat in Ryo's lap as he nervously kissed her.
"Don't be afraid. I like you too," she said. "You're so tense,
my love. What's wrong?"
"I'm just nervous because I know at some point,
Shampoo's going to burst through the door and whack me in
the head. But I'm not sure exactly when."
Her eyes widened. "You're right. Me too. But I think
we're wearing less clothing at that point."
"Oh, well, if we keep our clothing on..."
"We won't get hit in the head. But then it won't be as
fun."
They stared at each other for a moment, then both
said, "Who am I to fight fate?" They ripped off each other's
shirts.
A second later, the door flew open and twin bonbori
knocked them both out. They rolled over and fell off the
bed.
Minako said, "Hey, you didn't let me try my knock out
gas!"
"Shampoo heard them through the door. Who is she to
fight fate?"

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"I think we're almost there, wherever 'there' is. At least, as far as Yan's willing to take us. We really need Benkai awake." She shot him a worried look. "But Aoshi said we shouldn't wake him up. That only you should."
"Why?" Kenshin asked warily.
"That's what I asked him!" Kaoru flung up her hands. "He just smiled."
Smiled. The chill, calm, unflappable leader of the Aoiya onmitsu - had smiled.
He's up to something.
He's ninja. They're always up to something.

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Well, yeah. SAP. The kyuubi vessel pivoted on his heel towards Sasuke, nodding. 'Shinobi Archival Program. Basically, it's where paperwork goes to die. Except, it doesn't, and it just sits there, gradually gaining intelligence and the will to devour all life.
All office workers nodded in tandem.

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You did my taxes? Naruto hadn't ever heard he's teacher's voice reach that high. Pure, unadulterated, raw fear radiated from Kakashi to the same degree as if the Kyuubi himself (or, worse, the husbands of the many women he'd ogled over the years) stood in front of him, irate, frothing at the mouth, and possibly on fire.

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