Quote:This hurts you, Shepard. Harbinger intones, the drone under his
command echoing his words through its inferior vocal cords. Were it to
limit itself to something as primitive as facial expression, it would be
smirking. Shepard may have been… intriguing to it, but his tactics
clearly needed work. Falling back to a open position as he had, it was
suicidally foolish.

It saw an opportunity, yanking aside the salarian as he began to
reload his rifle. Confidently, it strode towards where Shepard stood,
back to its avatar. It raised its arm, preparing to strike-

Only to realize that what it taken to be a tree, a few feet from
Shepard ,was actually a Firewalker tank, it’s barrel pointed straight at
it.

…releasingcontrolReleasingControlRELEASINGCONTROL!

But it was too late, and the Reaper caught the neural backshock as
its avatar vaporized. Reeling, it cycled through the eyes of its rapidly
diminishing forces, trying to locate the source of this destabilizing
factor, this plan-ruining disrupt-

Its thought process froze for a moment as it focused on a grizzled
old man, chomping on a cigar and smirking a good distance away.

All through out dark space, an enraged cry echoed.

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

Quote:Can anyone from Bethesda please do something about this fake

Post » Thu Jul 05, 2012 10:19 am

Yes I'm talking about gameskyrim.com

It seems to use some sort of bot to copy entire threads from Bethesda Softworks Forums, attributes the posts to names culled from Facebook, and gets loads of hits which amount to advertising revenue for whoever is doing this.

Quote:"There are better ways to get someone to listen than slapping them or blowing them up," Fate said sternly.

"Really?" Nanoha asked.

Quote:"Any space for a UN Army Captain who needs a drink, badly?" asked a
young woman's voice, with a mild Japanese accent. Keith and Roy turned
to the newcomer, then motioned to an empty seat beside them. The
attractive young woman plopped herself down and quickly ordered the most
expensive bottle of sake she could find.
"So what happened to you?" Roy asked, just as the woman's drink arrived.
And then the bloody radio came on again.
"Breaking
news! According to reports from the Atlantic Fleet, there has been an
assassination attempt on the President! Details are scarce at this
point, it is clear the President and his staff survived the attempt…"
"…Kuso." Yui swore.
Keith
and Roy stared at her. Roy, being one of the people who worked closely
with Project Valkyrie had a few ideas on what just went wrong.
"Let me guess. Some idiot on the Willie Dee
used the new cannon you installed on it recently?" asked Roy. He winced
sympathetically when Yui's reply was to drop her forehead on the bar
counter.
Repeatedly.
"The William D. Porter
accidentally fired a live round at Air Force One while your President
was passing through the Atlantic. Something to do with redeeming
themselves for launching torpedoes at the Enterprise,"
Yui informed them once she had stopped punishing herself. "Nobody died
because his fighter escort had Crusaders with PPBs, but now every news
network in this country is all over the story. I was so busy making sure
you jokers didn't do anything stupid for the last week that I forgot to
keep an eye on that trice damned ship and its trice damned crew!"
"Ah, figures. It's a Democrat in the White House right now."
By this point, Yui was so agitated she wasn't even speaking English anymore.
"I should have put it on the Iowa. Why didn't I put it on the Iowa? What madness possessed me to think that the great and majestic USS William D. Porter was a good idea? That name has a history of calamities as long as it's service history! Just because it's the newest Arleigh-Burke class destroyer… I am an idiot!"

(Edited to add

Quote:Ensign Lilia Kjellburg had seen many strange things in her life, but
this ranked somewhere in the top 10 of all of the weirdest things she
had ever witnessed with her own two eyes.
"You're stuffing a Valkyire with Haggis," Lila said. "Friday... What. The. Hell."
Ilfriede
von Feulner gleefully nodded, as she continued the laborious process of
putting sealed, airtight plastic containers filled with the
aforementioned culinary dish in every possible nook and cranny of a
VTF-0(2) Proto Valkyire. Friday wasn't alone in her nefarious plot. With
her were Lunateresia von Witzleben, Helgarose von Falkenmayer and
Wolfgang von Brauer, the three members of Cerberus she was closest to.
Together the foursome were doing their level best to fill three weeks'
worth of Haggis into a single Valkyrie.
"We're going to trade this
with something edible!" Ilfriede cackled, reaching around inside the
cockpit to put more packages under the copilot seat. "I don't care if I
came back with nothing but plain old onigiri or cup ramen, anything has
got to be better than this crime against food. Right, everyone?"
"Right! Besides, Japanese people love Haggis! We should give them some!" Luna chirped.
"Japanese food is the best." Helga nodded her head sagely.
"Better them than us!" Wolfgang said, at least being honest about his motives.
In response, Lilia ran a hand down her face.
When
she'd been on the run from the CIA, things had made sense. It was
pretty much a textbook SERE exercise. Lilia had been chased across three
continents, but it had been not all that bad. Getting to see all the
sights and sounds the world had to offer had actually been an eye
opening experience for her. Even when she'd accidently implicated
Melvina and had to drag the Aussie girl all the way to Dover with her,
things hadn't been all that bad.
Then Lillia arrived in Dover Base and met the craziest bunch of maniacs she'd ever met.
"I
don't know why you people need a loony bin, since the whole lot of you
are insane," Lilia sighed. Off the top of her head, she could already
think of dozens of ways Ilfriede's harebrained plot would fall flat on
its face. "You do realize if any of those containers rupture, the smell
will never come out right?"
Ilfirede grinned evilly. "Why do you think we're putting all this crap in Blaze's Valkyrie and not mine?"
Lilia
stared at her friend in shock, for there wasn't a single shred of guilt
on Ilfriede's face. In fact, Ilfirede looked positively proud about it.
Then the ex-NUNS Marine spun on her heel and marched away from the
scene as fast as she could without breaking into an all-out run.
"To hell with you Germans!" Lilia swore. "I'm going over to the Argos Flight offices where the people are actually sane!"

Quote:blackaeronaut wrote:

---

Don't -ever- put important experimental prototypes on a Burke! Those tin can sailors are more than a little loopy sometimes. ;D

BYapes Wrote:(Edited to addFrom Muv Luv: DYRL-Valkyries

Quote:"You're stuffing a Valkyire with Haggis," Lila said. "Friday... What. The. Hell."
...
"We're going to trade this with something edible!"

Quote:It all played out in her mind's eye. She would lunge under that cart. The ninja would plow into it, some of them anyway. Two more carts provided similar opportunities. Then it was the ramen stand, the wagon full of cabbages, and then over the fence into the women's bath. What ninja were left to chase her would be chased by enraged women in turn. Then it was simply a matter of finding a saxophone for accompaniment and she was guaranteed to escape. The plan was perfect.

Quote:NifT wrote:

---

From Gungnir (now on indefinite hiatus as of the latest chapter), a Naruto/Nanoha cross from the same author that brought us Nanoha Takamachi and the School of Witchcraft:

Quote:It all played out in her mind's eye. She would lunge under that cart. The ninja would plow into it, some of them anyway. Two more carts provided similar opportunities. Then it was the ramen stand, the wagon full of cabbages, and then over the fence into the women's bath. What ninja were left to chase her would be chased by enraged women in turn. Then it was simply a matter of finding a saxophone for accompaniment and she was guaranteed to escape. The plan was perfect.

Archangel Beth Wrote:Wasn't that Gandolf's sword? Orcist, the Goblin-Cleaver?

Rocket Man Wrote:Thorin's. Gandalf's was some DamThing, the Foe-Hammer.

Or something like that.

Quote:Azel was one of the wealthiest human empires from his world. Nevertheless, its average citizens—the NPC commoners—lived in a near-perpetual state of poverty and fear. They had to rely on the happenstance of a passing party of adventurers for protection, and could hardly afford food, much less shelter, as a simple one-room wooden cottage went for 1,000gp (10,000 days' wage) anywhere in the realm. Most people lived in lean-tos built out of quarterstaffs and clubs, thatched with holly and mistletoe, and the other few free items in the book.

Quote:He'd owled Hermione, who had gone back to live with her parents until September, to ask how the Muggles managed to make so much stuff. She'd asked her mother, and sent back what amounted to a short essay detailing mining, machinery, smelting, and, the production line. Milo had scoffed at the idea of 1st level non-caster NPCs working together to create goods en masse—until he did the math. Ninety-nine unskilled Commoners, and one with 4 ranks and Skill Focus in the proper Craft skill, with one set of Masterwork Tools, all using Aid Another (which would give each a 50% chance to add +2) would have a colossal +108 Craft bonus. Using Quick Crafting, higher bonuses would lead to exponential returns. This group could make around ten thousand silver pieces worth of goods in a week—compared to the seven silver piece weekly wage they could expect working alone. With other bonuses, such as those from feats, better tools, or a decent Intelligence bonus, that number would increase dramatically.

Rokas Wrote:Rainbow "Clever" Dash to the rescue. Now, cross your fingers and hope it doesn't blow up in your face.

...What would ponies cross, anyways? Feathers on pegasi are almost like fingers sometimes, but can they be crossed? And what about unicorns and earth ponies?

The Mysteries of Ponies; tonight, on Nova.

Zuche Wrote:Unicorns are taught from an early age to never cross the streams. Earth ponies think they're silly and cross streams, brooks, and even rivers any time they feel like it.

Digo Wrote:Hahaha, clever.

Zuche Wrote:Well, as you know, earth ponies are easy-going.

Quote:"Our auditory language processing will be slowed to approximately nineteen percent of normal while we are part of the Consensus."

"Is that a bad sign?" Shastri asked anxiously.

"Sir, with how fast a geth normally processes information, it means he'll just be slowed down to human speed," she responded dryly.

Hannah grinned. "Does that mean I can trip him up by telling bad puns and asking leading questions? We should know if the geth are capable of foot-in-mouth disease like humans are."

"Mom!"

Quote:"Riddle, Tom," McGonagall read from her parchment. A faint smile on his lips, Tom walked to the three-legged stool, sat down, and placed the Sorting Hat on his head. How easily that stupid piece of parchment could be altered using some very simple wandless and wordless magic.

Tom was treated to the unique sensation of the Sorting Hat blinking.

We have met before, I believe, the small voice at the back of his head spoke. Mr I-Am-Lord-Voldemort.

Tom grinned slightly. Hi Mr Hat. My name is Tom, I'm eleven years old, and when I grow up, I wanna be a Dark Lord.

Quote:"So that's why you wear orange! You're so insignificant that without it no one would ever notice you," she taunted him.

Sakura knew nothing of Naruto's battles to be acknowledged. Didn't know that was indeed part of the reason he wore orange. Neither did Kakashi, who thought these were adorable students, and that Naruto was volunteering as group clown.

Within a week, Orochimaru had received reports of a Konoha genin who possessed a bloodline limit that granted him the power of invisibility while not wearing orange. Since this was a bit similar to a now-extinct mist bloodline who had been able to change the colors of their skin and been nearly invisible while naked, and no one knew how Naruto's parents had been, the other villages took this somewhat seriously until follow-up reports told them this was just the leaf-nins being crazy as usual.

When Naruto grew up, he replaced his orange jumpsuit with an orange-and-black tiger-themed 'really cool robe-thing' Hinata had sewn him, with little tinkling bells. It was very warm and padded but made out of some ninja fabric that got rid of sweat and so on.

His stealth skills became so legendary that future generations of Konoha student ninja doing stealth training in regulation orange were told to stop complaining how hard this was making it to hide, the Sixth Hokage had strolled right into Akatsuki headquarters wearing an orange bathrobe with bells on.

…and actually, yes, between the suiton jutsu and crater caused by the epic battle it actually had been uphill both ways through the snow.