Quote:And I have no idea why I'm suddenly humming, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gL4pxh24TtA]"Crisis ~ Run With Anger", I swear.

Quote:I'm not making this up, folks.

The Professor: "I'm using my jogging machine, because exercise in moderation is GOOD FOR THE BRAIN!"
The Professor: "Faster! FASTER! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The Professor: "I feel it! I feel a good idea coming! Here it comes! THE FINAL SPURT!"
The Professor: /picks up the phone and dials.

Eudial: "Witches5®, this is Eudial, how may I help you today?"
The Professor (via telephone): /heavy breathing.
Eudial: "…"
Eudial: /hangs u—
The Professor (via telephone): /gasp pant gasp. "Eudial! Another BRILLIANT idea! Procure for me a track-and-field athlete!"
Eudial: /closes her eyes and thinks of England. "…Got it, Prof."
Eudial: /hangs up. "Can one of you take over here for a moment? I feel dirty."

Quote:Usagi: "You wound me, Rei! You— Why is everyone walking away?"
Minako: "Because we have enough drama with Ami and Mako to have to listen to you two tsundering."

Quote:Usagi: "There's something in the water in this town, or maybe it's the ley-lines."
Rei: "Look on the bright side: think how we'll look in a couple of years."
Makoto: "Good God, and I'm already having trouble finding clothes in my size…"

Quote:The sailor Scouts burst in, dramatically, leaping over the tree tops!

Usagi: "The—"
Eudial: "Go get 'em, Daimon Hurdler!" /runs away and hides.
Usagi: "…This woman just might be the most intelligent foe we've ever faced."

Quote:An hour later, Eudial sneaks back to her car, only to find that someone's slashed the tires and honeyed the tank. Sigh.

Quote:I suddenly had this image of Sailors Uranus and Neptune carefully planning their tactical entry and battle plan, when Sailor Moon suddenly charges in shouting, "LEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS!"

Quote:"Oh, I haven't even actually arrived yet here in the past," Suguira-sensei said cheerfully. "But don't worry, I don't understand temporal physics well enough to give away the secrets of time travel."

Everyone stared mindlessly as their brains tried to figure out what she meant.

"Anyway, your usual teacher ran off with some Greek woman. So, it's time to teach you all about history! We're going to start with the Old Ones and their wars with Cthulhu's minions for control of the Earth!"

That's not in the textbook, Shirou thought.

Quote:"Third time's the charm," thought Harry as he climbed aboard version three of his flying carpet.
This time he was using the mat from the bathroom in his dorm, since the occupants of the tapestries had learned from his previous endeavours and tended to go running and screaming whenever he got too close to them. They usually went running straight to a professor, too, damn dobbers.
Flit already had a long talk with Harry about the legalities of charming carpets to fly, as well as the spells he had devised for doing so, but Harry had pointed out he wasn't actually flying, just hovering, and he had yet to use an actual carpet.
The Professor was not moved.
Still, Harry felt he couldn't let little things like the law or house points get in the way of progress, so here he was again.
"Go," said Harry.
Immediately the mat jerked forward, but he was expecting that and made sure to hold on tight.
"Stop," he said, and the mat did, sliding to a halt in only a couple of feet.
"Wicked," he said excitedly.
And the mat obeyed as best it could.

Quote:Maybe some Omake like:

"Get out here Freak!" Uncle Vernon yells. "Some bloke in black robes gave me 1,000 pounds to kill you and record it on these binoculars. So how do you want to die?"

"I'd like to try carbon monoxide poisoning. It sounds painless and non-messy sir."

"Hmm, good point. Alright I'll put the car in the garage running for you, but no putting it into gear or revving the engine or no dinner."

Quote:"Fine." Spike grumbled. His grousing, though, was short-lived. He burped, shooting out a small jet of green flame. Within the fire a letter formed and Spike caught it in his outstretched hand.

"That was quick," Twilight commented while Spike cleared his throat.

"It says, 'I'm sorry, Miss Sparkle, but the Princess is in another castle. This week she and Princess Luna are visiting Coltenhagen. Your letter will be forwarded to her with today's reports from Canterlot at sunset.' Huh? Do you want to send another letter to tell them how urgent it is?"

Quote:Matrix Dragon
wrote:

---

Dresden... Fillies. Oh dear... Could you
pass a link?

Quote:"All units converging, jump engines are charged."
"Damage?"
"None sir."
"Just
a soar throat from all the gloating." Tennant grunted. "This was like
taking Candy from a Minbari baby, eating it in front of its face, then
spitting it all out again just to show we can."
"It does appear that…"
"And
then taking that kid out of the pram, setting the pram on fire and
rolling it down a hill, fully ablaze, into a gas refinery which then
explodes with a kiloton of force."
"I suppose…"
"And then
telling the Minbari kid, as it has no candy and witnesses its pram
turned into a weapon of mass destruction, that really it's parents don't
love it and wanted a dog instead."
"That was an unusually specific analogy Admiral."
"Sometimes I have these thoughts."

Quote:After an eternity, the fish was finally alongside the submarine, ready
to be scooped out of the water by the two girls. They extricated two
massive boathooks and barely managed to drop the swordfish on the
stretcher before falling over. Argo smiled, cut the line off the radar
mast, and went bellow, passing through the length of the ship on her way
to the torpedo room. The torpedo racks dominated the room, making it a
claustrophobic space in spite of the fact that there were empty spaces
here and there. One of them was just to the right of the internal hatch,
the perfect spot for the fish’s death throes.

“Alright, I’m directly under you. Try pushing it down here.”

The two girls tentatively poked the fish with the ends of the poles,
causing it to sink a bit into the hatch as it flopped around. They
pulled back before pushing it down further.

“What’s taking so long?” Argo cocked her head as she held out her arms, ready to catch the fish.

At least, she thought she was ready to catch the fish before her arms
and knees buckled under the strain of holding up a heavy, flopping fish.
Argo barely managed to get it on the rack before collapsing to the deck
groaning.

“Aaaarrrrrggggggghhhhh… note to self- fish can be very heavy and very floppy. Do not underestimate them.”

Quote:"So. Who are you supposed to be?" A snap and a snarl- Azula almost grinned. The boy was halfway to snapping already, and she hadn't even done anything yet.

Azula smirked. "What, you don't recognise the family resemblance? She draped one hand over her eye, and growled. I must capture the Avatar to restore my honour."

The boy burst out laughing. He didn't stop for some time.

"-I can't -I can't br- can't breathe," he choked out, rocking back and forth so violently that it almost seemed he was going to overbalance and fall backwards to the floor.

Azula frowned. This was not exactly the reaction she had expected.

"Oh man," he breathed, when he finally got control of himself. "That was the funniest thing I've seen in years. Do it again."

Azula coloured. "You are mocking me. That is generally considered unwise." It was also, to be honest, almost completely unheard of.

"I'm serious!" he protested. "You're actually really good at that. You nailed that weird meld of Growling Avenger and Pouty Twelve-Year-Old that that guy's got going on."

Azula tried not to show how much that description amused her. Instead she showed how amused she was at something else. Besides, it was oddly nice to be complimented on something that had absolutely nothing to do with firebending, or military prowess.

"You don't even know his name?"

He shrugged, as well as he could while tied to a chair. "I'll admit, it's probably come up, but I wasn't really listening for it."

"It's Zuzu."

He abruptly laughed again. "Seriously? Zuzu?"

Azula sighed. "Well, if you want to get technical, it's Zuko, but he hates being called Zuzu. I used to call him that when we were- well, when we were children."

Sokka nodded, committing it to memory. "Alright. I'll mention you to him the next time he burns our camp down in the middle of the night."

"Please do. And try to remember his reaction. I'll want to know about it when we capture you again."

Quote:"You don't get it, do you? This is... this is completely ridiculous. I mean, at least I had an excuse, 'cause I mean Mai's kinda reserved plus I only met her last winter, but seriously? You haven't seen it? She is literally all over you. I mean you are practically wearing her as a hat."

Azula's glare could have punched through steel. "Explain yourself."

Sokka threw up his hands. "Okay, you know what? You didn't let me figure out Mai on my own, so I'm just gonna go ahead and spoil the ending. Your acrobat friend? Is clearly into you."

Azula blinked.

"I beg your pardon?"

Sokka dragged his hands slowly down his face. "You are so completely clueless. She digs you. She'd like to get to know you better. She wants to take higher than you've ever been. She wants to know what love is, and she wants you to show her. She wants to stand with you on a mountain, she wants to bathe with you in the sea. She wants you to tie her down and do sexy things to her. Is any of this getting through to you?"

Quote:Artemis: "Wait a minute. Usagi and a fresh-baked apple pie? Are we safe?"
Rei: "We're perfectly safe. It's the pie that's in danger."

Quote:Usagi: "Don't rush the girl with a knife, Rei. I might cut myself."
Rei: "Your suffering only makes it taste that much sweeter."
Usagi: "I might cut someone else, too."
Minako: "'Nothin' says lovin' like blood-spattered pastry from the oven.'"
Makoto: "That one wasn't up to your usual standard, Mina."
Minako: "'How d'ya like them apples'?"
Makoto: "No."
Minako: "'In this moment, we are all Americans.' That's a tricky one, you have to think about it—"
Makoto: "Feed your piehole."

Quote:Chibi-Usa: "Stupid Usagi stole my specially-baked pie that I specially baked for Masanori! "
Rei: "And that's terrible. ¡IN THE NAME OF MARS, I SHALL CHASTISE YOU!"
Mom (from downstairs): "No fireballs in the house!"
All: "Yes, Mrs. Tsukino."
Minako: (How does she do that?)
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "…"
Rei: "…"
Usagi: "…"

Quote:Chibiusa runs up and sees Masanori, and smiles in joy. Masanori is a typically-bland-and-inoffensive boy, about a year or two older than she. Seriously, most of the generic love interest boys in this 'burg have only slightly more personality than a wooden mannikin. No wonder so many of the girls go for girls, at least they have different hairstyles.

Quote:The Professor: "AT LAST! FINALLY, ALL HAS FALLEN INTO MY HANDS! There's no additional charge for this, is there?"
Eudial: "Of course not!"
Eudial: /makes a note to double the next mission's fee, because goddammit, she's a freelancer and she can do that.

Quote:Eudial (via megaphone): "EVERYONE REMAIN PERFECTLY CALM! THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM! GO ON WITH WHAT YOU WERE DOING!"

Everyone shrugs and goes back to—

Masanori: "—waaaaaaait a minute. Who are you?"

Quote:Luna: "…She's your daughter."
Usagi: "That was kind of cool, wasn't it?"
Luna: "That's not what I meant."

Quote:Chibi-Usa: "How come my transformation theme is two seconds long and played on a kazoo, while yours is two minutes long and played with a full choir?"
Usagi: "Because I have longer hair."
Chibi-Usa: "Oh, okay."

Quote:Suddenly! Sailors Moon and Chibi-Moon burst in, dramatically!
Usagi: "Prepare for trouble!"
Chibi-Usa: "Make it double!"
Usagi: "To protect the world from devastation!"
Chibi-Usa: "To unite all peoples within our nation!"
Usagi: "To pronounce the virtues of truth and love!"
Chibi-Usa: "To extend our reach to the stars above!"
Usagi: "Sailor Moon!"
Chibi-Usa: "Sailor Chibi-Usa!"
Usagi: "In the name of the Moon, blast off at the speed of light"
Chibi-Usa: "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
Luna: "I'm not with them. I don't know these people."

Quote:Michiru: /climbs a tree and hides.
Work #002: /trips and falls into the lake.
Work #002: "…"
Work #002: /melts.
Michiru: "…"
Michiru: "I meant to do that."

Quote:Chibi-Usa: "Or did you get weaker?"
Michiru: "No. No? I don't feel weaker. Do you?"
Haruka: "Yeah, actually."
Michiru: "What? Why?"
Haruka: "Because last night you kept saying, 'one more—'"
Michiru: "NOT IN FRONT OF THE KID!"

Quote:I think I've been very good so far in avoiding Monty Python references.

Uranus: "Go and tell your mistress that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If she will give us food and shelter for the night, she can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail."
Venus: "Well, I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen… uh, she's already got one, you see?"
Uranus: "What?"
Michiru: "She says they've already got one!"
Uranus: "Are you sure she's got one?"
Venus: "Oh, yes, it's very nice! (I told her we already got one.)"
Uranus: "Well, um… can we come up and have a look?"
Venus: "OF COURSE NOT!"

Quote:what had happened to Naruto anyway? He was the pathetic loser, the idiot, the brat always trying to prove himself and ending up proving he was just a loser. Except that after graduation he'd been getting better and then in Wave... he'd gotten awesome.

Now here he was, holding hands with Hinata Hyuga (who had a smile on her face and looked so content Sakura couldn't help but experience a pang of envy), having managed to turn from 'dead last loser' to 'ninja of mass destruction' and SLEPT with Ino and Hinata. And had both of them not only not fighting but developing a friendship?!

Hinata and Ino had both looked sleepy, disoriented, and still looked tired. Also, Ino had developed a new jutsu.

WHAT HAD HAPPENED?!

Quote:"Harry, why is there a pink pony in your kitchen?"
Murphy always did have a habit of cutting straight to the heart of the matter.
I
glanced back over my shoulder at said pony, who currently seemed to be
in the middle of mixing up some kind of dough, and then back to Murph.
"I'm pretty sure she's making cupcakes."

Quote:... and then Nicodemus declared. "These cupcakes are quite good. Certainly the best cupcakes I've ever had that were made by a vaguely anthropomorphic intelligent pony."
"You get a lot of cupcakes that way?" I just can't resist any opportunity to be a smartass.
"You would be surprised what experiences a person will accumulate over two millennia of life."

Quote:"It's like touching butterfly wings," the woman said dreamily, hugging one of the new dresses.

"I think it's been a bit much for her," muttered Francine.

"Butterflies covered in cornflour," Sharon continued happily, her eyes glassy.

"Mind you, I know how she feels," Francine added, a smirk pulling at her lips.

"Tempura butterflies!" Sharon crooned.

Tish was going a very interesting shade trying to stop herself laughing. "Come on," she managed. "Home." She waved at Martha and winked before pulling Francine, protesting, from the shop.

Quote: Dragonfly and Fluttershy were talking some kind of druid tree plant talk thing.  It went WOOSH over my head, circled around, went WOOSH again, then when I wasn't looking it tapped me on the shoulder.
 And when I turned?
 WWWWWOOOOOSSSSHHHH!!!!!

Quote:Rei: "¿Wait, the idol? ¿That Pandora? Uh, not that I follow idol singers or anything."
Usagi: "I remember Pandora. She was cute!"
Mako: "Could she sing?"
Usagi: "Does it matter?"

Quote:Mina: "Right. I don't know what I do to attract these nerds. I'm a jock. We beat up nerds."
Ami: "Some guys like to be—"
Mina: "CHANGE SUBJECT! Clean cup! Move down!"

Quote:Mina: "Idol singers are supposed to be disposable. That's part of the appeal. It's that impermanence of all things thing again, like cherry blossoms. Each teenybopper girl and boy soon withers and falls, and is swept away to make room for next year's crop."
Artemis: "Why is the Japanese sense of beauty so subtly horrific?"

Quote:Mina: "Dude, let me in! I have to save the Earth!"
Security Guard: "Pull the other one."
Mina: /Crescent Power: TRANSFORM! «Change me into a police woman!»
Security Guard: "…"
Artemis: /facepaw.
WPC Aino: "…Uh… You weren't supposed to see me do that."

Quote:Pandora: /puts her pretty face back on. "Who's there?!"
WPC Aino: /covers Pandora with her weapon. "Just ask yourself, monster: Do I feel pretty?"