Quote:I'm... unable to follow FO:E. The grimdark manages to be *worse* than canon Fallout due to the fact that it's Fallout....with Ponies.

Quote:The dull grey earth pony looked up at the strange creature before him. "Say that again?"
Discord sighed dramatically. "Why do I have to keep repeating myself to you ponies?" The draconequus twisted his sinuous body through a knot and got deeply into the pony's personal space, one red eye seeming to reflect an image as he spoke.
"Put simply, my little pony," Discord said as the pony's reflection seemed to recede into an image of his home town, Fillydelphia. "You are so alone." An almost dramatic spotlight lit the pony's reflection as shadowy ponies walked and flew by, ignoring him. "It's not easy, is it, being a blank flank at your age?" Some of the shadowy fillies walking past shuddered in mean-spirited laughter, and one of the shadow stallions trotted by with his coterie of admirers swooning behind. "Always overlooked by the fillies, especially when there are more dashing stallions around."
The pony fought back tears as one shadow in particular echoed the latest heartbreak that had made him leave Fillydelphia. "S-stardust?" The shadowed version of the elegant unicorn filly turned and silently, angrily derided him. He didn't need to her her sweet voice twisted in cruelty again, her words were already etched into his heart. The pain was just as bad seeing this shadow version leave with that pompous pegasus, Cirrus.
"Sad, isn't it?" Discord sighed in sympathy. "But my offer stands. How," he said, his lion paw caressing the pony's cheek, "would you like to get your cutie mark and true love?"
Doubt still creasing his face, the pony replied, "I'm listening."
"Well, first," Discord said, "I don't do favors for nothing, but I don't think you'll mind my price all that much." The draconequus stepped back and held up six playing cards spread evenly, each with the picture of an attractive filly, two unicorns, two pegasi, and two earth ponies. The colt recognized one of the pegasi as a model who had been in all the magazines a few months back.
"What's the price?" he asked hesitantly.
"Well, true love isn't easy. My price is that you have to make an honest effort to get to know each of these lovely ladies before you decide which one you want."
"That's all? But why would any of them want an ugly blank flank like me?"
"Well you won't exactly be ugly or a blank flank when you meet them, Hesperides." Smiling at the colt's confusion, Discord continued. "That's the last piece of my price, you give up your name and take Hesperides in its place. A new start and a new name, isn't that fair?"
The colt swallowed dryly. "And one of them will love me?"
Pleased that his hook was working, Discord smiled. "My lad, with the extras I'm giving you, they all will."

HoagieOfDoom Wrote:Oh, The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle, just how ridiculous can you get?

"I swear, this has never happened before!"

Quote:For a second, Applejack wondered if she may have had too much to drink at the pub. 'Did The Great and Powerful Trixie just... apologize?' Then, she noticed it. Fluttershy, that sweet, gentle pony, had her sweet, gentle hoof on a crest-fallen, almost-teary Trixie. 'Poor foal must've gotten Stared something fierce!' Applejack couldn't help but chuckle. "Ah s'pose Ah would'of had a similar reaction if Ah saw one of my friends all unconscious-like." Trotting further into the apartment, she whistled softly. "Fancier than a apple tree in full bloom! Now, we should put this filly to bed, she's plum tucker'd out on account-a yesterday's drinkin' and today's... whateverhappened to her today."
The Great and Powerful Trixie trotted to Applejack's side. "Come, let's put her in Trixie's bed."
Rainbow Dash cheered. "Yeah baby!"
"Ooh! Ooh!" Pinkie Pie quickly undid the bow tie from her bartender outfit, "Remember to hang this around the doorknob!" she exclaimed, galloping towards Trixie and tying it around her horn.
Fluttershy softly padded to Trixie's side. "Please be gentle, Twilight is such a tender soul."
The room was silent for a full minute as Trixie, enveloped in a full-body blush, tried in vain to pick her jaw up from the floor. "Wh-... whuh.. THAT IS NOT WHAT TRIXIE MEANT." her voice squeaked nervously. Her head flicked anxiously from side to side as she looked at each of the ponies gathered.
Fluttershy was the first to break. "Pfft..."
Trixie twitched.
Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy all started rolling on the floor, laughing themselves to tears. Trixie blushed further, trying to find somewhere to hide her embarrassment. Applejack just looked on, mightily confused.

Timote Wrote:Link?

John Biles Wrote:Sudden Celestia. "Hello, Marcus. I'm done stealing Twilight from you." She draped herself over me. "Now I will steal you for myself."

Twilight now came up cheerfully. "Hello, Rarity, Marcus." She looked at our hand and hoof on my knee and she smiled. "Sorry to interrupt you, but we need to get back to work."

Celestia was studying that herself thoughtfully and I said, "Are we going to go make magical hybrid babies now?" I said cheerfully. Best to get it over with.

Twilight and Rarity both froze, and Celestia said, "My, my, how forward you are," teasingly. "Do you say that to all the girls?"

"Only the best," I teased her back. Don't panic. She'll stop once I stop freaking out. "So how many babies are we talking?"

Twilight looked panicked. "I'm sorry, Celestia, I need them RIGHT NOW."

"Oh my, you are so passionate in your desire," Celestia said and Twilight turned red.

"Not like THAT," Twilight said[.]

Quote:I yawned. "I had best go to bed. Just wanted to tell you that, since she told me to."

"Thank you," Fluttershy said. "Sleep well and let the bed bugs bite, they need to eat too."

Druids are weird.

Jinx999 Wrote:She's a Unicorn. She's Pink. She can turn Invisible - and she believes Celestia doesn't exist.