Quote:Fallen Angels and evil gods of chaos and disharmony are no match for the power of friendship. And chocolate. But mostly friendship.

Quote:"Your plan involved turning this world into another warzone and the last thing we need is to add more chaos to the confusion," Vail retorted. "Maybe charging around like a mad grox works for you but I like my enemies to not know that I'm coming for them."

"We are Inquisitors – our chief weapon is fear."

"Well some of us prefer surprise," Vail replied. I got the distinct impression that the pair got along about as well as a tech-priest and a drunken barbarian.

"Don't forget ruthless efficiency," Cain chimed in.

"And your fanatical devotion to the Emperor," I added.

"She doesn't need your help," Hakim snapped at Cain and I.

Quote:Noticing that a bookmark was sticking out of the tome, Hermione opened the book to that page. "The Hounds of Tindalos? Oh look she's written something here." Hermione said.

"Hermione, I figured Harry would let you have first go at this. This story describes one of a cousin's encounters with wild Nargles. My family has managed to train them though now, so while they are dangerous, they won't attack anyone wearing either the Potter or Lovegood crest. They like to make dens in patches of mistletoe. Given their apparent size, that may come as a surprise, but remember, these creatures aren't of our usual three dimensions, so can express only as much or as little as they want into our reality while still being comfortable." Hermione read out Luna's note about Nargles.

Harry shuddered for a moment then said "You know what, I read those stories when I would hide in the library during lunches at school. I'll just nod and agree with whatever Luna says about one of her creatures."

Hermione just nodded in agreement, she too had read those stories.

Quote:After a few moments of thought, Luna turned to Neville and said "Oh, Neville I was wondering if I could get you to help me with something else."

Neville looked curious and replied "What would you need my help with Luna?"

Luna said in her usual dreamy tone "Well I need to breed up some more Blibbering Humdingers, and since they're a fungoid species, well your help would be appreciated. I know how good you are with plants and all."

At this, Harry and Hermione's eyebrows rose a bit. "Fungoid? Luna are you breeding Mi-Go?" Hermione asked a little nervously. The anxiety both teens felt at Luna's slightly manic smile did not help at all.

Quote:Itachi shut the office door behind him after Asuma had gone. He was
edging into unsteady ground now, but the abrupt change in the older
jonin's tone when he learned who'd suggested the travel plans hadn't
been his imagination. He continued mulling over the exchange when he ran
into Kakashi in the hall, who had finally seen fit to deliver his
overdue mission reports."Who won?" Itachi politely inquired, stopping to greet him.
"Gai," Kakashi said.
"At what?"
Kakashi
plucked a piece of hardened cake frosting from his hair and flicked it
away with distaste. It was extremely pink and studded with tiny candy
stars. "Taking the secret to my grave. What did Asuma want? He seemed
unusually… perky."
"I'm not sure," Itachi said contemplatively. "But I have an intriguing if unsubstantiated theory."
"Juicy
gossip? I just knew this slumber party was going to be fun," Kakashi
announced. "Afterwards, can we watch one of those awful Fujikaze Yukie
romance flicks and paint our nails?"
Itachi just blinked at him. "Do you want me to tell you or not?"
"Are you kidding? Of course I do," Kakashi said.
"Do you remember how I mentioned Asuma-san has been avoiding me since the end of the school term?"
"Yeah...?"
"I
believe he was under the impression I've been romantically involved
with Kurenai, a misconception that could have been easily dispelled had
he simply asked her."
"So what you're saying..." Kakashi
said slowly, "is that a guy with a thirty-odd million ryo bounty on his
head is too chickenshit to ask a girl out?"
Itachi shrugged. "That was essentially the conclusion I came to, yes."
"Man needs help."
"From you?" Itachi asked, skeptical.

Quote:Mamoru: "You are on the verge of becoming a stylish and classy adult woman."
Usagi: "If growing up means I don't get to hug stuffy toys and squeal, I don't want to!"
Mamoru: "I suppose I should be glad I'm dating a girl who wants plushies, instead of jewelry and cars."
Usagi: "Well, it'd hurt less to be attacked by a hideously-animate stuffed bunny daimon."
Mamoru: /Tim. "With horrible teeth!"

Quote:Mamoru: "She must have a good reason for acting like this."
Usagi: "Oh sure, Mister I-Had-A-Vision-So-We-Must-Break-Up."
Mamoru: "Okay, a strong reason."

Quote:Mamoru: "…Is it edible?"
Usagi: "Dude, haven't I been practicing? Isn't a picnic lunch within my capabilities?"
Mamoru: "I don't know, it's all been off screen!

Quote:Mamoru: /carefully surveys the sky for signs of time portals or invading asteroids.
Usagi: /carefully checks behind the growing racks for voyeuristic schoolgirls.
Hotaru: "What are you doing?"
Usagi: "If we can't learn from experience, what else have we got?"

Quote:Mamoru: "I hope you don't mind if we make a brief detour."
Usagi: "You have business here?"
Mamoru: "A graduate of my school works here, a botanist who's made roses his life's work."
Usagi: "AHA! So that's where you get them!"
Mamoru: "So few people truly appreciate the practice of weaponized agriculture."

Quote:Mamoru: /oh god what did I just say?!
Mamoru: /the hell with it! I said it, and I'll say it again!
Usagi: /he said it! he said it! he said it! he said it!
Luna: "And it only took him ten thousand years and two lost lives to spit it out!"
Mamoru: "I count four and two, on the grounds that I was dead for most of it."
Usagi: "And we'd already discussed it privately anyway. But he said it! He said it!"
Luna: "All right, so you're only tied with Keiichi Morisato."

Quote:wackyned: GURPS - Childbirth. Play through all the pleasures of Childbirth. From the first contraction, through the 48 hours of joyful bliss, to the excitement of pushing the little bundle of joy out. Be prepaired for false contractions and breathing techniques.

robkelk: I didn't know GURPS had a Breathing skill to base techniques off of.

ericbsmith: Breath Control, p. B181.

Quote:So there we were, in full nerd-core D&D mode, when the party burst
into a room where a horrible dark ritual was being conducted, including
the obligatory scantily clad maiden dangling over a pit of ice, about
to be sacrificed in order to bring about hell on earth, general
badness, screaming and flaming death, etc. 
MAIDEN: Save me!
PALADIN: We'll save you! 
DRUID: Uhm, Rooster, are we sure she's on the up and up?
GM: As far as you can tell, she's a normal damsel in distress.
After
several moments of intense cogitation, Rooster the paladin dredged up
memories of late-night studying sessions in little paladin's school,
and came to a conclusion.
PALADIN: And I mean this in the most detached, scientific way possible, but are her nipples....err...it's cold...You know....?
REST OF PARTY: ....
GM: ...I...what....?
PALADIN:
 'Cos if she's human and dangling over a pit of ice, they're gonna be
all pointy, but demons don't have working nipples. They don't lactate!
They're not really mammals! They lay eggs. Sorta like echidnas...well,
I mean, the succubuseses do, but that's different. They use them for
other stuff. Not like echidnas. Er. 
REST OF PARTY: ....
PALADIN: It's SCIENCE!
GNOME: What kind of school did you go to?!
Kevin
(the GM) gazed out a dark window for a few minutes. He was already
having a rough session, as we had refused to ring the obvious magic
gong to open the door, opting instead to make an illusory gong sound
(nobody makes us ring gongs against our will!) and there had been the
lengthy discussion of whether Fizgig can break a magic circle by
pooping on it during combat. 
GM: ...They're pointy. 
PALADIN: We'll save you!
A
few minutes later, the ostensible maiden mind-controlled our gnome. Her
familiar, Lawrence the toad, began immediately to panic.
GNOME: Or as we call it in our party, interpretive dance! 
While Lawrence danced frantically to express that Something Was Wrong, Rooster was forced to confront his own disillusion.
PALADIN: I can't believe the nipples lied.
RANGER (with surprising venom): THE NIPPLES ALWAYS LIE! 
PALADIN (meekly): Mine don't. I have Lawful Good nipples. 
DRUID'S PLAYER: Dear god, I cannot Tweet fast enough. 
PALADIN'S PLAYER: Can I roll a religions check to see why the nipple check failed?
GM: Do it.
PALADIN'S PLAYER: 28.
GM: She's a succubus. They're the only species of demon that understand nipples.
PALADIN'S PLAYER: ...fair enough. 
So
I am forced to give Kevin credit for actually thinking through the
undeniable logic of demon-nipples. You learn to appreciate that in a
GM. Really. 
...I still think Fizgig should be able to break a magic circle by pooping on it, though.

Quote:"My mother would have just cut him up and served him at the table," said
Choji.
"My mother would have just used her assistants to drain every bit of chakra
from his body then allow them to gorge themselves on his bodily fluids," Said
Shino.
"My mother would have-" Shikamaru cut himself off. "Well, it's too
troublesome to say how much worse off that guy'd have been if he'd groped my
Mom."
There's a reason that the Nara women can motivate the men of the clan: they
are very, very scary. So scary in fact, that Jiraiya won't peep on them, no
matter how beautiful. He's perverted, not suicidal.

Quote:“So why are you so annoying?”

“I was bored,” Naruto said with a shrug. “Next time, give me something to keep my mind occupied, like mastering some nearly impossible technique that only three people have ever mastered before, like the Rasengan or something.”

“And that would keep you occupied?”

“Yeah, until I master it, and then you'll need to teach me another one,” Naruto replied.

“Fine, I'll teach you something,” Itachi replied with a slightly evil grin of anticipation before walking out of the office. Sarutobi watched them leave as he puffed on his pipe.

“They didn't need me at all,” he mused with a slight grin. Yup, having Itachi responsible for Naruto prevented either of them getting into Danzo's clutches. “I'm a genius,” he said as he attempted to pat himself on the back. Some days it's good to be Hokage.

Quote:Stupid Princess! Stupid Zero! Stupid Rakshata! Stupid Kururugi! Stupid terrorist pilot! They'd ruined his Lancelot! Evil, manipulative, alien, tyrannical pigs- all of them! He'll complain to Prince Schniezel. He'll call the Emperor and ask for protection for the Lancelot. That evil Zero had blown his machine up after he'd lost! Cheater! Then, that Radiation Wave arm had exploded when Kururugi broke it- as if his creation hadn't been abused enough!

He'd demanded funds for repair but it'll take at least a fortnight to complete the job. Thankfully, the core body and the engines were fine. Funny, he could've sworn that...No, he had seen nothing! Quick, before Cecile returns! Poor Lancelot, Poor Robot! Lloyd is sorry; He was careless and you got hurt...Though, it was mostly their fault! We hates them...My precious...

Both Cecile and Princess Euphemia had been angry at him when they'd learnt that the White Knightmare lacked an ejection seat. But he needed the money for swords! He wanted four swords! They hadn't even spared the glance for poor Lancelot when it was brought in! Simply swarmed all over Kururugi! Unbelievable! Kururugi could repair himself, couldn't he? But the Lancelot needed Silicon Carbide, Titanium, Sakuradite and loving care.

Lloyd shook his head. What was the world coming to?

Quote:Harry drifted over to Hermione a small smile struggling to invade his face.

"You know..." He whispered into her ear, mostly to keep Gabby from hearing. "I think the Wizarding World may have spoiled Christmas for me."

"How so?" She replied curiously.

"I no longer like the idea of strange old men with long white beards breaking into my home as I sleep so they can muck about in the living room."

Quote:Israfael and Israfael emerged from the sea, stopping at a huge platform built across the bay.
Gendo walked slowly up the steps to the top of the platform.
Half
way there, he encountered Misato and Fuyutsuki, the latter with a music
player. Without pausing, he took off his jacked, handed it to Misato,
then nodded to his teacher and continued climbing.
At the top, he took a moment for a deep breath, then snapped his fingers.
Music began.
The
JSSDF soldiers who had erected the platform watched in awe as the
Commander of NERV danced. Mouths hung open. One soldier began openly
weeping at the beauty and poise of the dance.
When the song came to a close, he calmly drew himself up and faced the Israfael.
The two looked at one another, then exploded in unison.
Gendo nodded to himself, then walked back down, taking his jacket from a blushing Misato.

Quote:Dr. Sun-Tzu Liao is Seldon Professor of Psychohistory at the Capella Royal University. A member of the Capellan Union's former ruling family, Dr. Liao served in the Union Armed Forces with distinction during the War of Two Terras. At night, he's Batman.

Quote:On the Technomage front, here's a preview of a bit of Harry's visit with Neville at the end of the summer before 3rd year. It's after their birthdays, and Neville has taken to the potions tutor his grandmother found for him... Said tutor seems somehow familiar to Harry, but he can't quite put his finger on where he's seen the man before. As a sort of tribute to our man Neville from the last HP Movie, here is Harry getting shown around Longbottom Hall...

…-===ooo000ooo===-…

"What is this?" Harry asked as he stood back to stare at the huge ornate bronze bell, complete with a pair of life sized apparently clockwork iron trolls standing on either side with hammers at the ready.

"Hmm?" Neville asked as he turned to see what Harry was looking at. "Oh, that's the Doom Bell."

"Doom Bell?" Harry repeated looking at the great bronze casting suspiciously. "As in Doctor Doom?"

"Who?" Neville asked, with a confused expression. "Never heard of him. Why would a Muggle Healer need a bell?"

"Different kind of Doctor, and as far as I know he doesn't need a bell," Harry laughed. "Ok, why does the Longbottom family have a bell?"

"The Doom Bell rings when the Longbottoms go to war. Its a kind of warning, you know? Somehow the Doom Bell is charmed so that every Witch and Wizard in Britain can hear it and know what is coming at them."

Harry turned slowly to stare at this friend. "You're messing with me."

"Don't judge the family by what you know of me Harry. The Longbottoms are to Magical Britain what Franklin's family is to New York," Neville smiled, "though maybe with a bit less property damage."

Harry blinked, "you're serious?"

"Hell, yes. The Longbottoms are a serious clan, we've been involved in every major conflict Magical Britain has had, and a few Muggle ones as well. Someday I might end up having to put on the Cardie, and then the Bell will toll for me."

"The Cardie?"

"Yeah, it's over here," Neville led the way to a glass case where on a human form manikin was a black and grey cardigan. Harry took in the obvious ancient garment with a look of surprise, especially after he realized that the pattern in the woolen fabric was made up of runic arrays. "This is it, the traditional Longbottom clan War Cardigan."

Neville took in Harry's expression of incredulity with a smile. "The case is charmed so that no human can open it. Only an elf, and even then, only one certain elf at a time. He brings the Cardie to the current Longbottom of Longbottom and as soon as it is worn, the Doom Bell rings. Grandad always said that was to let the Devil know that he was going to have company, and lots of it." Neville sighed. "Sometimes I really miss Grandad. Come on, we don't want to be late for potions.".

Quote:A woman of ice! Half-naked, white robe worn loosely, jewelry is made of crystals possible only at conditions near Absolute Zero. And because all Monsters of the Week are contractually obligated to dress strangely, she wears a white shower cap.

Quote:Usagi: "Chibi-Usa, if you buy that voodoo doll, I will buy one, too."
Chibi-Usa: /puts it back.

Quote:Yomiko Readman: "But I NEED those books! What do you mean 'sold out'?!"
Clerk: "I'm sorry, Miss, but the girl in blue already bought the lot."
Ami: /looks up from book. "Huh?"
Yomiko Readman: "NOOOOOOO!"
Makoto: "You think you've got problems? Who do you think is going to have to carry that pile?"

Quote:Michiru: "Wait, we're in this movie?"
Sailor Pluto: "Who's going to keep us out?"

Quote:Usagi: /watches the news.
Luna: /a bit stuffy. "Now, the question is, are you watching the news to learn about the world, or are you watching it because it's the biggest TV in sight?"
Usagi: "Both, of course!"

Quote:Luna: /staggers and passes out.
Car: /GRRRRR!
The Astronomer: /Daring Last-Moment SAVE!
Car: "Curses! Cheated of my prey again!"

Quote:Minako: "Are we quite certain she didn't stay out on purpose? Say in a private place, or at a friend's house, or something?"
Usagi: "But Luna doesn't have any friends!"
Artemis: "I say!"

Quote:Usagi: "No, you!"
Ami: "Guys."
Rei: "¡No, you!"
Ami: "Guys, you can flirt later."
Rei and Usagi: "…We are not—"
Ami: "You're this close together with your tongues out! What are we supposed to think?"

Quote:Kakeru: "So, what's your name, Miss?"
Luna: /cheerily. "Lun—"
Luna: /clamps paws over mouth.
Kakeru: "Did you just talk?"
Luna: "No."
Kakeru: "Good. Phew. Maybe I am working too hard."

Quote:Ami: "I'm not calming down, I'm pissed off! That bitch is copying my schtick!"

Quote:Haruka: "Yes, it's been very quiet lately. A welcome change of pace."

A mob of terrified citizens screams past the window, pursued by a Snow Dancer, pursued by the Inner Senshi.

Haruka: /headdesk.

Quote:Chibi-Usa: "Don't be distracted by the music!"
Usagi: "That's from the Nutcracker Suite isn't it?"
Usagi: "Wait, wait, no… no, it's not."
Usagi: "Okay, why would you do a piece of music that's almost but not quite 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies' when the Nutcracker Suite is public domain? Why not just use the real music?"
Usagi: /is confused.
Chibi-Usa: "Why do you care?"
Chibi-Usa: /is confused.

Quote:The surviving Snow Dancers retreat as swiftly as they arrived, and the freezing spells abruptly fade. All the people, buildings, and vehicles that were frozen unthaw, and find themselves perfectly unharmed.

After a moment of confusion, everyone pretty much shrugs and goes on about their business as if nothing had happened.

Usagi: "There is something seriously wrong with this city."

Quote:Naruto shrugged. "It doesn't have to make sense, we're ninja. We walk on water because it's easier than learning to swim."

Quote:Silence reigned at the table as everyone stared at a group of dice sitting in the middle of the table next to a Wikipedia printout of a human skeleton and a crude outline of a human body marked with pencil lines to indicate incisions."My carpenter puts away his chainsaw." Ranma raised his head. "Well?"
It took some time for Yukari to find her voice. "Well... Uh... You, Ranma Saotome, hippie carpenter-slash-martial artist... have defeated cancer."
"With a chainsaw," Ranma added.
"With a chainsaw, yes," Yukari amended. "Erm... You get... 1000 XP, I guess."