An unexpected burst of creative writing - Printable Version +- Drunkard's Walk Forums (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums) +-- Forum: General (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: General Chatter (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=2) +--- Thread: An unexpected burst of creative writing (/showthread.php?tid=11804) |
An unexpected burst of creative writing - Rev Dark - 02-18-2014 So the lovely wife and the Darkling took a trip over the weekend. TLW asked me to pen a note stating that I knew about the trip. (A colleague of her was once hassled for taking a child across hill and dale without a note from the other parent.) It struck me as an odd request, but I ran with it. To Whom it may concern, (That would be you, you nosey bastard.) Robert Andrew Dark is travelling via train with his mother, Cynthia Lynn Dark to visit my parents. He is not being abducted, kidnapped, absconded with, or otherwise removed from my presence without my knowledge or permission. He is also not being abducted by aliens, as my lovely wife is from earth. Were it suddenly revealed to be otherwise, I would be just as surprised as you; but also proud as it means I would share at least one thing in common with Captain James T. Kirk of the star ship Enterprise. Andrew and his mother are not running away to join the circus. There is a genetic predisposition in my family to react to clowns, mimes, and sports mascots with sudden and quite horrendous violence. Sure the thought of my offspring co-opting a medium sized wheat thresher and driving it through a congress of clowns, causing a bright, Pagliacci tinted rain is wonderful; but no such activity is planned. Andrew is visiting his grandfather to celebrate the senior Dark's birthday. If they are planning a visit to the circus, I have no knowledge of it, and cannot be held responsible for the terrible things than ensue. My lovely wife has confirmed that she has no intention of using the opportunity afforded by the trip to sell Andrew to gypsies, the Blues Brothers, the black market organ trade, the Denver Broncos, the People's Front of Judea (not the popular front – splitters) or the shape-changing space-lizards described by crackpot David Icke. Funny enough, we once tried to sell David Icke, but E-Bay made us take down the sale. Should you need to confirm any of this, I can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX or by e-mail at [url=mailto:revdark@magma.ca[/url]. With the exception of two hours at the gym and an occasional foray out to walk the dog, I will be power watching a season of Archer and doing a jigsaw puzzle; which is the wild life of hedonism that I indulge in in the absence of wife and child. There is also a new season of Luther, but that may be too much. Cheers, Shayne Dark P.S. Please do not let Andrew drive the train, I have oft observed him playing with Thomas the Tank Engine and his friends, and it can only end in tears. - robkelk - 02-18-2014 Rev Dark Wrote:To Whom it may concern,Always best to start off on the right note. -- Rob Kelk "Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of the same sovereign, servants of the same law." - Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012 - Bob Schroeck - 02-18-2014 <applause> -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. - Dartz - 02-18-2014 It hits the right mix contempt and humour, that's for sure... I'm at an utter loss for words that it was even necessary and can't honestly say I would've been as nice. ________________________________ --m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig? - Bluemage - 02-18-2014 Parts of it almost sound like something the Guide would say, if a bit wordy for it. That said, I appreciate the concept of mocking absurdity by being absurd, and this is a fine example. Bravo. My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours. I've been writing a bit. |