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Groaners - ECSNorway - 03-30-2018

The thread for bad jokes (SFW, please) that are not photoshop memes.

Q: Why did the wizard build an edible clock?

A: I don't know, but I bet it was a very time consuming endeavor.


RE: Groaners - Bob Schroeck - 03-30-2018

For future use throughout the thread:




RE: Groaners - ECSNorway - 03-30-2018

One windmill turned to the other windmill and asked, "What kind of music do you like?"

The second windmill answered, "I'm a big heavy metal fan."


RE: Groaners - hazard - 03-30-2018

That's very odd. A lot of those blades are (IIRC) some carbon composite material (it's light and strong), or if we're talking about old school windmills wood and cloth coverings.


RE: Groaners - Rajvik - 03-30-2018

How many of the Wicked Witch's flying monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: All of them; One to hold the bulb and the rest to spin the world around it


RE: Groaners - robkelk - 03-30-2018

Since it's Easter...

On the third day, He arose, rolled the stone from in front of His tomb, and walked the Earth once more.

A passer-by stopped Him, pointed at the stone, and said, "Close the door behind You! Were You born in a barn?"


RE: Groaners - DHBirr - 03-30-2018

Gonna be politically incorrect here and tell an ethnic joke. [scare chord] 

So, this Irishman walks out of a bar....  No, seriously.  It can happen.

*****
Children, don’t talk to strangers.  Strangers don’t want to hear it.


RE: Groaners - Dartz - 04-01-2018

Did you hear the one about the American who walked headfirst into the bar?

Repeatedly


RE: Groaners - Norgarth - 04-01-2018

(04-01-2018, 10:01 AM)Dartz Wrote: Did you hear the one about the American who walked headfirst into the bar?

Repeatedly

Trump? Tongue


The period of history known as the Dark Ages was called that because there were a lot of knights.

I hear skunks are very religious creatures; they each have their own pew.

Do dockworkers suffer from pier pressure?

Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.


RE: Groaners - Rajvik - 04-01-2018

No Norgarth, he made a THUMP


RE: Groaners - robkelk - 04-02-2018

paraphrased from one of Martha Chavez's jokes:

"What do we want?"
"Cat food!"
"When do we want it?"
"Nyaow!"


RE: Groaners - ECSNorway - 04-05-2018

A Scotsman and an Irishman were entering a bar when the Scotsman calls out, "Drinks for the house on me!"

The next day, the newspaper headline read 'Irish Ventriloquist found beaten to death behind pub'.


RE: Groaners - Norgarth - 04-05-2018

If a guy swallows a viagra pill, but it gets caught in his throat, does he end up with a stiff neck?

I get paid weekly. Very weekly.

Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it was cheesy anyway.

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out standing in his field.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

Why did the snowman name his dog Frost? Because Frost bites.

What kind of doctor fixes broken Web sites? A URLologist.

Why did the cat join the Red Cross? It wanted to be a first-aid kit.


RE: Groaners - DHBirr - 04-05-2018

Did medics in the Roman legions give injured soldiers a 4?


RE: Groaners - Norgarth - 04-08-2018

What do you call an inconsistant mushroom? Spore-adic.

A bicycle can't stand on it's own because it's two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

A backwards poet writes inverse.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

What do you call a Communist who's really accurate with a gun? A Marxman.


RE: Groaners - Norgarth - 04-20-2018




RE: Groaners - Norgarth - 04-23-2018

[Image: 18010563_745260468981220_466430173199038...e=5B6D1D39]