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Teaser from Chapter Three - Bob Schroeck - 03-19-2019
Hino Rei, miko, knelt before the sacred fire of the Hikawa shrine
and performed her regular devotions. Eyes closed, she swayed
slowly to and fro, sending her long ebony hair swinging gently.
Before her the fire blazed, crackling and popping as the sweet
smoke from the incense sprinkled on the wood filled her nostrils.
Her hands were clasped before her, an ofuda entwined through the
fingers of her right, as she chanted.
She had been a shrine maiden since her grandfather had taken her
in when her father had all but abandoned her in the wake of her
mother's death. She had begun serving both as a way of filling
the day and pleasing her grandfather, whom she loved dearly, and
it had become a calling as she'd grown from a child to a young
woman.
And with that calling had come the visions. For the past year
and a half, the spirits would occasionally see fit to grace her
with cryptic glimpses of past, present and future, which she was
left to interpret for herself. Some were easy to understand, but
others would baffle her until events transpired which cast them
into sudden clarity.
Rei did not seek a vision today.
Rei never sought a vision. To be honest, while she felt honored
to be the recipient of messages from the spirits, they were ...
inconvenient at the best of times, and too often distressing.
She was fourteen! She couldn't do anything about most of the
things that were shown to her, which both frustrated and angered
her. What was the point if she was helpless?
But despite her frustration, the visions still came.
And one came this day.
Almost before she realized it, the flame surged upward and her
mind's eye opened; she caught a brief glance, once again, of the
guardian spirit of the shrine -- fierce, armored, a little like
an oni in its appearance, but its presence was comforting and
reassuring instead of frightening. Almost as soon as she saw it,
it vanished from her inner sight.
In its place the moon, brilliant silver-white against the black
of a starless night, swam into view. Nearly blinding at first,
it dimmed enough for her to make out the familiar shadowy form of
the Rabbit, eternally pounding mochi in the sky. Grey against
the brighter white of the moon, the Rabbit paused in its endless
task, laid aside its hammer and, to her shock and surprise,
climbed down from the moon. As it did so it changed shape, from
a realistic rabbit to a grey-furred humanoid form that she
suddenly recognized as a Western cartoon character. Chewing on a
carrot it held in one hand, it stood before her and studied her.
"Yup," it finally said, pointing at her with the truncated
carrot, its greens swinging wildly. "You're the right one,
kiddo."
Rei gaped at it. "I'm the right one for what?"
It chuckled and bit off another piece. "Eh, don't worry about
that right now. Yer gonna run into some old friends and a new
one who'll tell ya everything. In the meanwhile, though..." It
reached into a pocket that appeared in the fur on its hip and,
frowning in concentration, dug through it as though searching for
something. Its eyes lit up and it withdrew its closed fist from
the pocket, which immediately disappeared. "It's dangerous to go
alone," it said with a human-like grin. It took her hand in its
open one, and placing whatever it'd found in its pocket into it.
"Take this."
Rei looked down to find a red-yellow flame dancing merrily in the
palm of her hand, without heat or pain. She looked up, and the
rabbit-creature was gone. She glanced at the flame again, only
to find it was racing across her body. Before she could panic,
she had *become* the flame, and she knew there was no harm here.
In the distance, a bugle sounded a call that seized her heart and
demanded she answer. She turned from the moon to look where it
had come from...
And found herself back in the shrine.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - classicdrogn - 03-19-2019
Oh dear. When Rabbit chooses you for a task and awakens a power within you, without playing tricks, you know you're about to be involved in something ... interesting.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - DHBirr - 03-19-2019
I read the reference to the shrine's "fierce, armored" guardian spirit, and my eye also caught mention of the Rabbit, and sudden free-association brought an inappropriate (no, not the dirty way) thought to my mind: Usagi Yojimbo. I mention it only because someone other than I might be twisted enough to find the fact amusing.
Minor grammar quibble: "It took her hand in its open one, and placing whatever it'd found in its pocket into it." I think you need to either scrap the "and" or make "placing" into "placed" in this sentence.
*****
“We’ve had our differences, but he’s seen the light … and I made sure he moved toward it, instead of coming back.”
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Bob Schroeck - 03-19-2019
Ack. That's what I get from turning one sentence into two sentences and not fixing the verbs. Thanks for the catch.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Star Ranger4 - 03-19-2019
a great scene in and off itself, but slightly puzzling. Not sure where this fits into... oh wait. What an excuse to go read.
Heh. heh. heh.
Okay. Now that I've refreshed myself on the context....
Still HEH HEH HEH.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Labster - 03-20-2019
Honestly this passage just made me mad because it reminded me of how much better a writer you are than I.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - robkelk - 03-20-2019
Hey, Bob's work has been published. He's allowed to be better than us.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - classicdrogn - 03-20-2019
Sadly, that is not necessarily the case, but one hopes.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Bob Schroeck - 03-20-2019
It's not having been published, it's having been at this gig for nearly 35 years.
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Star Ranger4 - 03-20-2019
(03-20-2019, 11:25 AM)Bob Schroeck Wrote: It's not having been published, it's having been at this gig for nearly 35 years.
The counterpoint, to that, Bob, is that having been at this gig for some 35 years gives you the polish to get publshsed where some like myself might not.
*thhhbbbbbbppppppptttttt*
Regardless. I am going to recap one of my old gags... when it gets to 200k, PUBLISH Err... Sell... ???
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - SilverFang01 - 03-21-2019
I half expected Rabbit to start with, “what’s up, doc?”
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Norgarth - 03-21-2019
hmm, I wonder if Doug will happen to be wearing something with Bugs' likeness when he first meets Rei, allowing her to go "This man is important/linked to my vision"
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - robkelk - 03-21-2019
Such as the "LT" badge on his uniform?
RE: Teaser from Chapter Three - Inquisitive Raven - 03-21-2019
I don't think the badge is obvious enough.