(11-17-2023, 11:29 PM)Bob Schroeck Wrote: Welcome to the forums, Drezzer.  Fenspace has kind of slowed down over the past few years, but Dartz and a couple others are keeping it alive; let's hope your contributions help bring it back up to speed!

(11-18-2023, 07:54 AM)Dartz Wrote: It's probably the best initial submission.

It just has a nice feel to it. A good comfy fan story. Rei's perspective also interesting....  not something we've really seen before.

(11-17-2023, 07:16 PM)Drezzer Wrote: Hello all, I'm Drez, and per my life, I'm 10 years late to the party. I found Fenspace a few years ago, and for the last year, I've been staring at the wall. Three days ago, my Muse finally grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go until I had written my intro story. Then my Muse grabbed me again and made me write Rei's inception, from her point of view.

Up There (Intro Story)


Incept (Rei's POV)

Comments and suggestions are welcome. This is the first time I've written anything over about 2K characters.

Drezzer

Quote: As Drez nodded, he yelped as he grabbed the arm rest with his right hand and snagged on something, drawing blood from the side of his hand. As he wrapped the rag around the cut and started hunting the first aid kit, Rei looked with concern. “Just caught something on the seat, I’ll check it once I get this wrapped up.” After cleaning the wound and bandaging it, which wasn’t as bad as he first suspected, Drez leaned down to get a look under the arm rest, only to find something there that could have cut him, let alone any evidence of blood.

Quote:The ship slowly rose, in defiance of all known laws of gravity. The wave was like that though, physical laws because more of a suggestion where it was involved. As he gave it some throttle, the RV started to accelerate slowly, sounding like nothing more than an RV climbing a steep grade.

(11-18-2023, 04:44 PM)Norgarth Wrote: hiya and welcome aboard.

reading thru Up there and I spotted a couple of  typos.  

As Drez and Rei are first testing the engines you have:

Quote: As Drez nodded, he yelped as he grabbed the arm rest with his right hand and snagged on something, drawing blood from the side of his hand. As he wrapped the rag around the cut and started hunting the first aid kit, Rei looked with concern. “Just caught something on the seat, I’ll check it once I get this wrapped up.” After cleaning the wound and bandaging it, which wasn’t as bad as he first suspected, Drez leaned down to get a look under the arm rest, only to find something there that could have cut him, let alone any evidence of blood.

I'm pretty sure that should be 'nothing'

Quote:The ship slowly rose, in defiance of all known laws of gravity. The wave was like that though, physical laws because more of a suggestion where it was involved. As he gave it some throttle, the RV started to accelerate slowly, sounding like nothing more than an RV climbing a steep grade.

should be 'became'

they're the most annoying kind of typos, the ones that are actual (but wrong) words and don't get spotted by spell check  

overall, enjoyable reads.