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+--- Thread: [Meta/Silly] Leatherman 'Wave? (/showthread.php?tid=2530)
[Meta/Silly] Leatherman 'Wave? - Mark Skarr - 05-04-2011
Okay, so I'm getting dressed for work, and I put my Leatherman Wave on, and wonder: What would happen to this thing if I exposed it to Handwavium?
Something cool?
Something lame?
End of the universe?
You do not talk about the Leatherman Wave 'Wave?
- robkelk - 05-04-2011
One word: Synergy.
(How that one word applies, I have no idea...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Mark Skarr - 05-04-2011
I had another one . . . On the way to work I was behind a dark gunmetal gray Dodge Durango . . . with the license plate 001 FEN.
Who is that?
- robkelk - 05-04-2011
You got a glimpse of the mysterious and semi-mythical OverFen!
What did he look like?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Mark Skarr - 05-04-2011
I didn't get that good a look at them (I was behind them, and it was rush hour). It looked like a middle aged, heavy-set woman. But, I could be wrong.
- Bob Schroeck - 05-04-2011
It was, of course, a disguise.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Star Ranger4 - 05-04-2011
My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it.
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
- Stephen Mann - 05-04-2011
That sounds like something Niven put in one of his Louis Wu stories. I don't remember the details, but it was some sort of supertool that changed shape as needed.
- Bob Schroeck - 05-04-2011
"The Soft Weapon" or "The Slaver Weapon" depending on whether you got it from Star Trek or not.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Mark Skarr - 05-04-2011
Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .."
"Your Leatherman has a mig welder!?"
"I've learned not to ask."
- robkelk - 05-05-2011
Mark Skarr Wrote:Of course, a 'waved mig welder only works on Russian fighter jets...Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .."
"Your Leatherman has a mig welder!?"
"I've learned not to ask."
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Black Aeronaut - 05-05-2011
Mark Skarr Wrote:You do realize that Ben would be all over this so fast that it will be standard equipment for the Roughriders inside a month and available for retail two weeks after. It could be a joint venture between Ben and Noah. Ben would probably call it a Multiwave. It rolls off the tongue nicely, avoids any copyright infringement, and plays off the multitool theme (multitool + handwavium = multiwave).Star Ranger4 Wrote:My thought? It becomes one of the few tools one can use to safely handle 'Wave, and it picks up sort of a Heisenberg effect. When you open it, it has just the right tool for the job, but if you need another, you need to close it and reopen it."Hmm, the Wave thinks the right tool is a mig welder . . .."
"Your Leatherman has a mig welder!?"
"I've learned not to ask."
Hell, I could probably see the email...
From: "Benjamin Rhodes" (blackrider@roughriders.fen)
To: "Noah Scott" (REDACTED)
Date: REDACTED
Subj: Your capitalist heart is gonna love this!
Noah! I guess you've heard about the craze with waving leatherman tools, but... I got a lockdown on a method to mass-produce these bastards! Just a bit quirky in that the tool provided will accomplish the job only in the strictest sense of the wording. (In other words, if it works, use it.) I can have a batch of ten sent down your way later if you're interested.
Who do you think we should snag for the main factory lines? Hephaestus? Gnarlycurl?
-Benjamin
CinC of Roughriders, 36 Atalante
Would you like blind, broke, or bedlam?
- Mark Skarr - 05-05-2011
"What does the Multiwave think this time?"
"I got the corkscrew."
"Oh, that's not subtle."
Various attachments for the “Multiwave.” (Should be powered
by the Rule of Funny)
Corkscrew
Rubber Chicken
Socket-to-me Wrench (if you don’t get it, say it out loud; if
you still don’t get it—you’re too young)
Duck-tape dispenser
Duck dispenser (QUACK!)
Change machine (stick in a dollar and get four quarters)
Swirly Straw
Potato Peeler
Garlic Press
Logic Probe
Illogic Probe
Back Scratcher
Compound Bow (full size, 60-lb pull, no arrows)
Grappling hook
Pinking shears
Skate Key
Flare gun (with flares)
Lung-powered air compressor
Thermometer
Dictionary
The obvious “Male and Female opener” are ignored since it
would have the standard knife blades.
- robkelk - 05-05-2011
Mark Skarr Wrote:Socket-to-me Wrench (if you don’t get it, say it out loud; if you still don’t get it—you’re too young)One of the semi-regulars uses an Arte Johnson photo as his avatar. I think we get it...
Mark Skarr Wrote:Duck dispenser (QUACK!)Because you never know when you'll need http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/video/10874/]a ballerina.
Mark Skarr Wrote:Pinking shearsCan also be used to cut hair, but only to give the girl Pink's hairdo.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Ebony - 05-05-2011
I think you've hit upon the Fenspace equivalent of the Sonic Screwdriver or the Omnitool.
EDIT: Points to Rob for recognizing one of my favorite comedians, but to be completely factual, it's not Arte Johnson. That's Wolfgang, his German doppelganger.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
- Proginoskes - 05-05-2011
My question is, what does the illogic probe measure? The presence of Strong AI? (Strong AI would need to mimic the human capacity for "lateral thinking", which sometimes involves strongly illogical-seeming leaps.) How strongly something resists description or categorization? (The word "logic" is derived from the ancient Greek "?ó?o?", meaning "word", with a secondary meaning of "rule": "illogic" would be that which defies those things.)
- HRogge - 05-05-2011
Maybe part of the illogic probe could be a handwavium detector... *G*
- Mark Skarr - 05-05-2011
I had to explain both the Skate Key and the Socket-to-me Wrench at work (to the point of having to explain who "Tricky Dick" was, as well).
My crack team (of fellow loonies) have come up with more attachments:
Mop
Turkey Baster
Presidential Flash Cards
Dog Whistle
Elbow Grease Extractor
Note book
Eighth note book
Rag
DVD Rewinder
Duck call
Duck-tape call
Stop watch
Stop-That watch
Ukulele
French Horn
Raggmopp
E2:
Metronome
Metro-sexual Gnome
ETA: Forgot a couple
- robkelk - 05-06-2011
Quote:Note bookDeath Note book
Eighth note book
The Book of Love (author's name illegible)
Quote:DVD RewinderBlu-Ray Rewinder
Purple-Ray Rewinder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Charles]Brother Ray Rewinder
(okay, okay...)
Propeller wash and rinse
Math test study aid
Blood test study aid
Guitar tuner
Guitar tuna
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Black Aeronaut - 05-06-2011
Glass cutter
Tin snips
Circuit Tester (for residential alternating current - universal)
Steamer (can be used for carpet cleaning or lattes)
Tooth Brush
Hair Brush
Wire Brush
Bore Brush (Ben loves that one - "Finally! I don't have to carry tool box to clean my guns!")
Bottle Brush
Battery Brush
Mustache Brush
Paint Brush
Air Brush
Feather Duster
Finger Print Duster
French Tickler (Ben: "WTF!?!!?)
Abacus
Graphing Calculator
World's Tiniest Violin
World's Largest Bacteria
Threading Needle
Sewing Needle
Knitting Needle
Bone Needle
Record Player Needle
Quilting Needle
Cactus Needles (OUCH!)
Space Needle (Don't ask)
Carving Knife
Throwing Knife
Meat Cleaver
Hatchet
Super Laser (a la Deathstar, because I think this thing should look like Largo's Cool Thing. Otherwise Harmless.)
- Bob Schroeck - 05-06-2011
Quote:Steamer (can be used for carpet cleaning or lattes)Or pork buns.
Quote:Hair BrushAnd Hare Brush.
Quote:Throwing KnifeMack the Knife
Quote:Meat CleaverBeaver Cleaver.
And a few of my own:
Solar-powered battery charger
Battery-powered solar charger (extends the lifetime of the sun by an infinitesimal amount for every battery you feed it)
Garden weasel
Clue bat
Left-handed smoke shifter
Snipe call
Nerf drill
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Mark Skarr - 05-06-2011
Quote:French Tickler (Ben: "WTF!?!!?)Doberman Pincher (no, it's spelled correctly)
E: kept having trouble with the quote.
- HRogge - 05-06-2011
Bob Schroeck Wrote:Battery-powered solar charger (extends the lifetime of the sun by an infinitesimal amount for every battery you feed it)This will be very useful for longtime survival...
- Duane Peters - 05-06-2011
Flight line dispenser
Left-handed monkey wrench
AC battery charger (Only charges AC batteries)
DC battery charger (looks like a green railroad signal lantern, for some reason)
Change Machine (Grows a big red button marked "Change Machine". Go on. Point it at a machine and push the button. You know you want to. Who knows what'll happen?)
- Ebony - 05-06-2011
Lockblade knife
Keyblade knife (Just what it says on the label, a pocket knife blade that looks like a Keyblade)
Elephant repellent stick (See any elephants around here? No? Works pretty good, doesn't it?)
Bean counter
Pencil pusher
Slide rule
Circular slide rule (Real Mad Scientists use circular slide rules!)
Dental floss (Hey, some Swiss Army knives come with toothpicks; why not floss?)
Silly String dispenser
Serious String dispenser (It's just a spool of string.)
Cosmic String dispenser (Handle With Care!)
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."