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Teaser the Third from Chapter Two - Bob Schroeck - 08-17-2012
Just to tide you all over until the 31st...
We were about halfway through the sandwich course when a gypsy
scarecrow with coke-bottle glasses staggered into the Great
Hall through one of the side doors. She paused there, swaying,
and held up one scrawny hand as though she were about to bless us
all. "I know," she said in a hollow, wobbly tone, "that I am
late for our repast, but I have been communing with the great
*BEYOND*!"
Next to me, Snape hissed, "Oh, dear bloody *Merlin*."
"Good to see you finally join us, Sybill," Flitwick piped up.
"How was your morning?" Ah. So this was the Divination teacher.
And I'd thought Irma Pince was embracing a stereotype -- Sybill
Trelawney looked like she'd robbed a New Age store at wandpoint
and worn all her ill-gotten gains out the door.
Where some of the other witches at the table were slender, she
was outright gawky and stick-thin. Coupled with a fright-wig
shock of dishwater-colored hair, it made her look like nothing so
much as an animated ragmop in a robe and shawl, complete with two
large cartoon eyes in the form of the immense, thick glasses she
wore. All she needed was a tie-dyed muu-muu, and she'd've been a
dead ringer for just about every crystal dweeb I'd ever met who
thought enough cheap jewelry, smoky quartz and perfumed candles
would give them psionic metagifts.
On the other side of the Headmaster, Professor McGonagall
muttered something that either because of its low volume or its
extreme Scottishness (or both) was unintelligble. Whatever it
was, though, it certainly didn't sound complimentary.
"My morning?" Sybill swayed a bit more, her hands drifting
around her like drunken butterflies on silken tethers. "My
morning has revealed secrets -- *great* secrets! -- to me!
Concepts *far* beyond the comprehension of mere mortals!"
To my right, Professor Sinistra sniffed derisively but didn't say
anything. To my left, Professor Snape was busy turning his fork
into an origami sculpture. For my part, I suppressed the urge to
chuckle at her theatrics, instead murmuring, "Drama queen much?"
That earned me a startled glance from Snape, who quickly looked
away again while emitting a strangled cough that *just* might
have been a single, stifled laugh.
*So there *is* a human being in there somewhere,* I thought.
"Please do take your seat, Sybill," Headmaster Dumbledore
invited, although his jovial tones sound just a *little* bit
strained. "We have not yet finished."
Cut short before she could launch into another speech, Professor
Trelawney blinked, then straightened up. "Of course," she said
in softer, less overblown tones. She then drifted unevenly up
the stairs of the dais and to her seat. There she noticed me for
the first time, stopped cold, and stared wide-eyed. As she stood
there, trembling violently and emitting a faint scent of sherry,
I looked up at her and (against my better judgment) stuck out my
hand.
"Doug Sangnoir," I said. "New professor of Defense. Delighted
to meet you." Which I wasn't, not really, not after seeing her
entrance, but I'd never *say* that. I have *some* tact.
Not a lot, but *some*. Even Hexe says so. However reluctantly.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- robkelk - 08-17-2012
Bob Schroeck Wrote:We were about halfway through the sandwich course when ...My first thought was to complete this sentence with "... the drugs began to take hold." I see I wasn't too far off the mark.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Bob Schroeck - 08-17-2012
In Sybill's case, the drugs have never let go.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Jinx999 - 08-20-2012
Sandwich course?
- Ebony - 08-20-2012
Poor Professor Trelawney. She can't help it if her gift doesn't work when she wants it to. (She does have the Gift after all; she just never remembers it.)
And, just an observation, but shouldn't Professor Sinistra be seated on Doug's left?
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
- Norgarth - 08-20-2012
Ebony Wrote:Poor Professor Trelawney. She can't help it if her gift doesn't work when she wants it to. (She does have the Gift after all; she just never remembers it.)Well, she'd be on the left side from the perspective of the students (if there had been any students present)
And, just an observation, but shouldn't Professor Sinistra be seated on Doug's left?
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
- Bob Schroeck - 08-21-2012
Ebony Wrote:Poor
Professor Trelawney. She can't help it if her gift doesn't work when she
wants it to. (She does have the Gift after all; she just never
remembers it.)
Ebony Wrote:And, just an observation, but shouldn't Professor Sinistra be seated on Doug's left?I made a deliberate decision not to go for the cheap joke with Sinistra.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- DHBirr - 08-21-2012
Maybe Ebony was talking about Sinistra being on the left due to alphabetical order? Of course, that'd mean between Doug and Snape.... Anyway, when I thought about it a bit more, there's no reason the faculty and staff should be required to sit in alphabetical order, especially as it's been shown the students aren't.
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
- Jorlem - 08-21-2012
Say, what exactly is the order they sit in, anyway? I'm fairly sure that Dumbledore is in the middle, but beyond that, I can't recall from the books.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
- DHBirr - 08-21-2012
I don't recall it being specifically stated anywhere. Seniority might make sense -- say, Dumbledore center, next most senior on his right, secondmost senior on his left, lather, rinse, repeat -- but in that case, Doug, as the newest instructor, wouldn't be right next to Snape. It may just be "find an empty seat."
-----
Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
- robkelk - 08-21-2012
Jinx999 Wrote:Sandwich course?Yeah - that's something I'd expect to see at Unseen University, not Hogwarts... but it isn't impossible. Maybe they're fattening up before the students arrive and they need the energy...?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Inquisitive Raven - 08-22-2012
Okay, if Dumbledore's in the middle, then I'd expect two of the Heads of Houses to either side of him. From there, could it possibly be alphabetical order by department? Or maybe, Dumbledore has his own unique schema for seating the faculty. He might have placed Doug near the middle to make introductions easy, and IIRC, Snape is the Head of Slytherin.
ETA: And while I'm thinking about it, is it possible that Trelawney's gift kicked in when she saw Doug? What would he look like to an actual sybil from the HPverse? And yes, I'm sure JKR knew exactly what she was doing when she named the Divination professor "Sybill."
- robkelk - 08-22-2012
Inquisitive Raven Wrote:... He might have placed Doug near the middle to make introductions easy, ...Or maybe the DADA professor is always seated next to somebody who can defend him if necessary. We all know the "churn rate" of professors in that department...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Bob Schroeck - 08-22-2012
Other than Dumbledore at the center and McGonagall at his right hand (and Hagrid anchoring one end entirely by himself), the order of professors at the table in this scene is entirely arbitrary, and in fact optimized for humor purposes.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.