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+--- Thread: A Teaser for Chapter Four (/showthread.php?tid=6175)
A Teaser for Chapter Four - Bob Schroeck - 03-16-2014
The next chapter is about 40% done, so this isn't a herald of impending release. Just a little something I thought I'd share.
Douglas had, despite his claims of minimal control over his owndefenses, lowered his mental shields so thoroughly that Albus hadfelt no resistance whatsoever to his Legilimentic probe. No
sooner had he cast the spell than he had found himself in
Douglas' mindscape.
And what a mindscape it was! For someone utterly untrained inOcclumency, it was thoroughly realized and detailed, from thehuge, full -- indeed, almost gravid -- moon hanging low on thehorizon to the wooden sign before him reading "Welcome to
Wackyland! Population Thursday and Still Growling!" Structureswhose improbable shapes and stability put the Weasley home to
shame dotted the landscape, and in the distance were many small,
hopping forms. Faint hooting noises echoed across the strangely
smooth and brightly-colored terrain.
Albus smiled approvingly, then stretched forth his hand, palm up,with his wand upon it. "Point me hidden memories!" he commanded.
The wand spun like a wheel-of-fortune, then slowly came to restpointing directly at the moon.
Albus cocked a bushy eyebrow. "Fascinating," he murmured, and
began striding toward his target.
Like any good defensive mindscape, appearances were deceptive,
and Albus found himself standing before the low, full moon muchsooner than an inexperienced Legilimencer might have expected.Unlike its real-world counterpart, it hadn't receded from him tomaintain its apparent position in the sky. Instead, here in
Douglas' mindscape, it actually rested directly upon the ground;not the real moon of course, but an immense model, exquisitelydetailed. Albus spent a moment marvelling at the miniature
perfection of its mountains and maria before returning to histask. Another "Point Me" confirmed that this model moon was
indeed the vessel holding Douglas' lost memories.
"Well, now," Albus mused to himself. "How do I get in?" Hethought for a moment, then chuckled to himself before stepping up
to the miniature satellite and knocking firmly in the middle of
the flat expanse of the *Mare Serenitatis*. "Hullo?"
He had just begun to laugh at himself for his own puckishnesswhen a mote of shining silver appeared in the spot where he hadknocked. Almost as soon as he had registered it, it exploded
into a torrent of light. Albus calmly stepped to one side andwatched curiously as it first coalesced into a human outline,
then snapped with eye-watering suddenness into the appearance ofa human being.
It was a girl. No more than fourteen or fifteen years old, ifAlbus was any judge, petite even for that age, and dressed in a
high-waisted, floor-length gown of white silk. She wore a golden
breastplate over the gown, and golden bracers, all with fine
silvery filagree decorating them. On her head was the most
intriguing crown, very obviously magical -- Albus leaned forward
to study its six points, one each of earth, water, fire, ice,
lightning and metallic light. In her right hand she held a staff
of the same pale wood as the one Douglas owned, but unlike his,
hers had a headpiece: a golden mount holding a large crescent
moon made of crystal, with another crystal -- this one a faceted
sphere the size of a walnut -- blazing like white fire at its
center. Her hair was blonde and gathered into two slender
ponytails long enough to reach her knees. She was beautiful, a
girl no longer a child but not yet fully a woman, but still
hinting at the woman she would one day become.
Her eyes were closed, and an unexpected pang of longing shot
through Albus' heart at the expression of innocent serenity on
her relaxed face. Then she opened her eyes, and they were wideand sapphirine blue. Looking straight ahead instead of at him,
she spoke.
"Hello. If you're seeing this message, then you haven't acted in
a way which could be considered an attack on Doug-sensei's mind,
but are probably trying to help him." Her voice was high and
clear, and she spoke English as an American, although with a
faint and exotic accent which Albus could not place. "I ask that
you please go no further. Beyond this point are memories which
must remain sealed for now, but will in time return to him."
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Jorlem - 03-17-2014
I see you are using the fanon Occlumency-mindscape, and the fanon version of the Four-Point spell, which can do other things besides point north. Are these intentional? I only ask because I recall you saying you wanted to avoid or subvert Potter fanfic cliches, and those are some big ones, which you appear to be playing perfectly straight.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
- Shepherd - 03-17-2014
Quote:Jorlem wrote:If Bob wants to avoid Potterverse clichés, he just has to 1). have Albus mentally remark upon Doug's 'mindscape' being a rare and seldom used Occlumency variant, and 2). mentally remark that being in a mindscape allows him a much greater degree of latitude in spellcasting than if he'd been in the real world. After all, the four corners spell wouldn't actually work properly in a mindscape because there is no true north within a mind, so Albus gets to choose some other landmark to target.
I see you are using the fanon Occlumency-mindscape, and the fanon version of the Four-Point spell, which can do other things besides point north. Are these intentional? I only ask because I recall you saying you wanted to avoid or subvert Potter fanfic cliches, and those are some big ones, which you appear to be playing perfectly straight.
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
- Bob Schroeck - 03-17-2014
Strictly speaking, the non-north-pointing uses of the "Four Points" spell are borderline canon/deuterocanon -- "Point me" can be used in the official Harry Potter video games (which are often cited as valid sources) to find things other than north.
As far as mindscapes are concerned, well, canon says nothing either way. But in this particular case, you only have Dumbledore's assumption that Doug's is a function of Occlumency, which honestly, Doug is not trained in. To the extent his mental defenses have undergone any training at all, they have been shaped by the philosophy of his teammate Psyche, who approaches the subject much like the Soviet Union approached the border between East and West Berlin.
As for the existence of a mindscape at all in Doug's head, any number of real-world non-magical mental disciplines -- some of which have shown up in Potter fanfics as part of Occlumentic practices -- involve creating mindscapes to navigate. The one I'm most familiar with is the recall technique called http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Method_of_loci]the "Memory Palace", aka "method of loci", which dates back to the ancient Greeks. Doug has dabbled in many of these techniques -- they're as much responsible for his "semi-eidetic" memory as his neurological mutations are.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Jorlem - 03-17-2014
I don't think I've ever seen the video games cited like that, especially when it contradicts the books (seriously, if the Four Points spell had a non-north-pointing use, why didn't Harry use it in the maze, where it would have been rather more useful than knowing north.)
As for the mindscapes, I agree that canon says nothing, but at this point it is so common in fanfics that it is somewhat unusual not to see it.
What I'd suggest is having Dumbledore be surprised that the mindscape style defense is being used, with the reasoning that for Wizards, it became obsolete with the advent of actual magical Occlumency, as it (the mindscape) just slows the Legilimencer down, without being able to stop him (With there being specific Legilimentic spells for mindscape navigation, that have also fallen into obscurity, but that Dumbledore knows, because Dumbledore). And battlefield Legilimency seems to skim active thoughts, not dig into long term memory, so the mindscape wouldn't be that useful there either.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
- Bluemage - 03-17-2014
I can't help but be reminded of some areas in the King's Quest series of games- specifically, the Isle of Wonder in KQ6, and the city of Falderal (capital of Nonsense Land) in KQ7.
If you ever wanted to do a mindscape scene in another Step, one that really plays on the concept of 'my rules are not your rules', I'd recommend tracking down videos of those two areas being played. They're thought-provokingly surreal.
(I say 'another Step' just because this one is quite well done; it neither requires nor would take more surreality.)
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
- Star Ranger4 - 03-18-2014
Could be that the hedgemaze was counterspelled against 'point me'. Certainly seems like it would be one of Flitwick's contributions to the work; to wit charms that would remove magical knowlege gathering of the maze layout/defenses
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
- Jorlem - 03-18-2014
Taken from the talk page on the wiki for this spell:
Quote:Here's what it says in the Bloomsbury edition, Chapter 31, page 529, lines 2 to 7: "He had soon mastered the Impediment Jinx, a spell to slow down and obstruct attackers, the Reductor curse, which would enable him to blast solid objects out of his way, and the Four-Point Spell, a useful discovery of Hermione's which would make his wand point due north, therefore enabling him to check whether he was going in the right direction within the maze."
It doesn't seem like the spell canonically does anything beyond pointing north to me.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
- robkelk - 03-18-2014
Jorlem Wrote:Taken from the talk page on the wiki for this spell:Hermione's version doesn't ... but Hermione is still a novice at this, no matter how book-smart she is. Dumbledore has had decades of experience - and, in this universe, also has access to Doug and Septima's notes on building new spells.
Quote:Here's what it says in the Bloomsbury edition, Chapter 31, page 529, lines 2 to 7: "He had soon mastered the Impediment Jinx, a spell to slow down and obstruct attackers, the Reductor curse, which would enable him to blast solid objects out of his way, and the Four-Point Spell, a useful discovery of Hermione's which would make his wand point due north, therefore enabling him to check whether he was going in the right direction within the maze."
It doesn't seem like the spell canonically does anything beyond pointing north to me.
Trust the author, folks. Bob knows what he's doing.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012