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+--- Thread: Teasery Goodness The Second (/showthread.php?tid=6231)
Teasery Goodness The Second - Bob Schroeck - 10-14-2009
One burger and most of the fries later, I had determined several
additional things about my latest stop.
First, like the vast majority of the worlds I had visited, this
version of Earth had no metahumans. I'd been hopping from
timeline to timeline for at least a hundred and fifty years,
probably more, as best as I could determine. (A few of the
worlds I'd visited seemed to exist in a timeless "eternal now" in
which duration was an entirely subjective thing. And to be frank
I still couldn't be sure just how many months I'd spent training
the Sailor Senshi, thanks to Usagi playing at silly buggers with
both time and my memories there at the end.) Unfortunately,
after all those decades I *still* had no clue why Homeline and a
handful of other universes were the odd men out when it came to
true metahumanity. I resolved to spend some time discovering
what this world might have in common with all the others, if I
were here for more than a couple days.
Second, among the divergences from Homeline was Sunnydale itself.
I'm a California boy, born and bred, and even if I *am* from L.A.
I'm not so self-centered that I don't still know the rest of the
coast. Sunnydale sat on the same patch of land as Santa Barbara
back home. Not precisely -- its town center was maybe a mile or
so from where Santa Barbara's was when I left, and the city
limits were a good deal smaller. Which was because it only had
about one-sixth the population of Santa Barbara, best as I could
recall. So not really a straight analogue, even if it *did*
still have the same area and zip codes. Likewise, what had been
Santa Barbara County back home was Sunnydale County here.
The geography was a bit different, also. Again, if I were
remembering right, the north edge of Santa Barbara ran right up
against a line of mountains and chaparral, including a big
national forest. Here, though, there was a wide, broad desert
between the city and the mountains -- the one I'd landed in.
Usually geography doesn't vary *that* much between versions of
Earth, so that was pretty weird. Especially since the rest of
California seemed to be more or less unchanged. I wondered if
maybe the tether-thing had something to do with it.
The weirdest thing about Sunnydale, though, was that the paper
had a 4-page obituary section to match its giant economy supply
of cemeteries. And not big obit articles, but the usual one- or
two-column-inch, tiny-type "thus-and-so died, services at J.
Random's House of Embalming on Tuesday" things. There was the
usual variety of causes, including the gonzo ones that, if they
make it into the paper at all, offer the careful reader the
opportunity for guiltily inappropriate laughter. In this case it
was an accident with a barbecue fork.
So I laughed. When I read the first one, that is.
By the fifth, I wasn't laughing any more.
By the tenth I was frowning.
And when I finished the obits, I swore in every language I knew
plus a couple I didn't. According to the paper, in the previous
week at least fifteen people -- none of them connected to each
other in any way that I could determine other than residency in
Sunnydale -- had all died from neck wounds inflicted with
barbecue forks, evenly split between "accidents" and "gang
violence". Another half-dozen or so had been victims of "animal
attacks". And several more had been coyly attributed to an
unspecified "neck trauma".
Bull-fucking-*shit*.
I should have known when I saw how darkly-aspected that tether-
thing was.
This gods-be-damned town had *vampires*.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Cobalt Greywalker - 10-14-2009
Quote:This gods-be-damned town had *vampires.*
Truer words never spoken.
One does wonder just how many species of vampire Doug has met (for lack of a better term) during his travels.
- Ebony - 10-14-2009
Quote: Cobalt Greywalker wrote:Doug needs to use Grandpa's line from "Lost Boys" when he meets up with Buffy & Co. ("One thing I hate about Sunnydale ...
Quote: This gods-be-damned town had *vampires.*
Truer words never spoken.
One does wonder just how many species of vampire Doug has met (for lack of a better term) during his travels.
all the goddamned vampires....")
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
- ECSNorway - 10-14-2009
I will say that twelve pages of obits seems a bit much. That's something on the order of a thousand people a day, which is a BIT much even for Sunnyhell.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
- Duane Peters - 10-14-2009
I feel I have to agree with ECSNorway; twelve pages is a bit much. And upwards of twenty-five people all dying from barbecue forks or neck trauma? Either
Sunnydale's police are picked for their resemblance to mashed potatoes between their ears, and/or they've established their own coroner's lab,
because there's no *way* a competent forensic examiner wouldn't notice similarities after that many bodies to examine.
- Norgarth - 10-14-2009
Quote: Duane Peters wrote:
I feel I have to agree with ECSNorway; twelve pages is a bit much. And upwards of twenty-five people all dying from barbecue forks or neck trauma? Either
Sunnydale's police are picked for their resemblance to mashed potatoes between their ears, and/or they've established their own coroner's lab,
because there's no *way* a competent forensic examiner wouldn't notice similarities after that many bodies to examine.
Considering that the Mayor/Founder was probably hiring for the corrupt/incompitent/toadying types, is it really that much of a stretch?
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
- katreus - 10-14-2009
Also, I suspect there's a healthy dose of denial; they don't WANT to recognize - and hence, they don't recognize - BBQ fork accidents as a real
trend.
Nice snippet.
- Bob Schroeck - 10-14-2009
See Sunnydale Syndrome.
Helen and I have, after reading the comments, agreed that 12 pages of obits is indeed too much. We're scaling it back to 6, which will also have ads for funeral homes on them.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- Wiregeek - 10-14-2009
HOTCHA.
rolled an 18 on my save vs. tv tropes.
I CAN HAZ REST OF DAY BACK.
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
- Sofaspud - 10-14-2009
... okay, now, see, this teaser I can get behind. It's got a character I know and love in it.
You don't need me chiming in on the 12 page thing, so I won't.
"... darkly-aspected that tether-thing was"? I'm assuming this is a reference to something described earlier in the piece, but that still makes
me wonder.
(The amusing image coming to mind is of a rather growly dog on a huge leash, with a collar labeled 'Sunnydale'.)
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs
- robkelk - 10-15-2009
Quote:"... darkly-aspected that tether-thing was"? I'm assuming this is a reference to something described earlier in the piece, but that still makes me wonder.I'm assuming Doug has picked up some terminology from Eimi's attempts to get him to play In Nomine... In that game, a Tether is a connection from the corporeal realm to a celestial realm. A darkly-aspected Tether would connect to an infernal celestial realm.
One example of a "darkly-aspected ... tether-thing" would be the Hellmouth...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Bob Schroeck - 10-15-2009
There is also the Tether in the temple in DW5, you know.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- robkelk - 10-15-2009
Yes, but has anybody actually called it a Tether when Doug could hear the term?
(It's late, and I have a meeting early tomorrow. No time to re-read the story...)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Bob Schroeck - 10-15-2009
Um. I would have sworn so until you made me doubt myself. And I have to run in ten minutes so I can't look it up either.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
- WengFook - 10-16-2009
Quote: Bob Schroeck wrote:Even if wasn't so, you and Chris can make it retroactively so
Um. I would have sworn so until you made me doubt myself. And I have to run in ten minutes so I can't look it up either.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.
- robkelk - 10-17-2009
They'd only need to make it retroactive if there were no more chapters. There's one chapter left. (And now I'll stop channeling Elmer Fudd.)
"Thank you for drawing enough power out of the tether to allow us to even try, Doug."
So, that mana fountain is called a tether. "You're welcome, Belldandy."
Or something to that effect.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
- Vincent Ursus - 10-17-2009
From chapter 6:
"That 'funky node'," Belldandy said cautiously, "is a Tether, a line of Divine power feeding directly into Heaven."
I made note of that little tidbit of information and grinned broadly. "Even better. Now the real question becomes, if I were able to tap it,
could I channel enough power to your spell for long enough?"
- Bob Schroeck - 10-17-2009
Thank you, Vincent. I was pretty sure that that was in there somewhere. Good to see I wasn't wrong.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.