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Pointless Powers - SkyeFire - 10-29-2005
You know... those songs that have strong power effects, but really aren't *good* for anything?
Weird Al: "Like a Surgeon." Gives Doug M4d 5ur61c4L 5k1LLz for the duration of the song, theoretically including the ability to do things normally considered impossibly by medical science. Unfortunately, even with the assistance of combat-hyping, Dr Doug just can't finish a major operation before the song runs out (even though this song power, unusually, doesn't cut off when the song ends, but sort of 'bleeds off' quickly -- sort of like Doctor ma'Qoy in the "SpoQ's Brain" episode of "may'Duj bortaS."
OTOH, it *does* let him be absolutely unbeatable at "Operation," or "Medical Trivial Pursuit"....
Def Leppard: "Pour Some Sugar on Me." Allows Doug to fire jets of hot (but not harmfully so) liquid-sugar icing at fire-hose intensity from his hands. Sort of like Peter Parker's webbing, but harder on the teeth. Would come in handy if Doug were a Marvel Comics character (ref all those Hostess Cake/Pie ads in 70s and 80s Marvel issues).
3 Dog Night: "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog." The only reason Doug doesn't know what this song does is b/c he's never played it within AOE of anyone named Jeremiah. Lucky for *them,* since the effect is *permanent,* barring corrective action from someone else.
Sammy Hagar: "Marching to Mars." Sort of like a slow-mo version of Thunder Road, except it only leads to the local plane's Mars (or equivalent), at walking speed... and doesn't do anything to protect you once you're there. Also, stopping the song partway through leaves Doug at a proportional straight-line distance between his starting point and Mars's current position -- watch out for that hard vacuum, Doug. Or that suntan, if you started out at opposition. But perhaps the worst part is that it doesn't provide any way to get *back.*
"Werewolves of London." Fortunately, Thibor's not *from* London. Of course, if he's *in* London (England, Ontario, Illinois...)
The "Major General" song from "Pirates of Penzance": "The part of Doug will be played by Danny Kaye with all behavioral limitations removed." (actually, I could see Doug as a big DK fan -- he comes the closest I can think of to a live-action Bugs Bunny in a lot of ways).
Twisted Sister: "I Wanna Rock." For the next three minutes, Doug Sangnoir will be the Beethoven of Rock&Roll -- literally, since he can't hear what he's playing. But once it's over, *boy* will his arms be tired....
(plus, there's all these *rocks* teleported in randomly from God-knows-where all over the stage....)
Sir Mix-a-Lot: "Baby Got Back." Let's... all just be *very* thankful he didn't use *this* on the Knight Sabers in DWII, shall we?
C&C Music Factory: "Everybody Dance Now." And we mean *everybody.* Could be handy for stopping small riots, but that's about it, since no one in the AOE can do *anything* else until the song's over. And *this* one, Doug can't even shut off early!
Re: Pointless Powers - robkelk - 10-29-2005
Quote:Ah, but if Thibor is drinking a Pina Colada at Trader Vic's when Doug plays the song, Thibor's hair becomes *perfect*...
"Werewolves of London." Fortunately, Thibor's not *from* London. Of course, if he's *in* London (England, Ontario, Illinois...)
-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Re: Pointless Powers - classicdrogn - 10-30-2005
Bangs by They Might Be Giants - everyone in AoE gets their hair dyed and styled into Anime Hair - with a high likelihood of Boomerang Bangs.
Chocolate is Love - verges on useful, as within AoE eating chocolate acts as a panacea. to cure all minor maladies and start more major problems on the way to healing. Chugging a jug of Hershey Syrup could close a nasty-but-not-mortal knife wound or cure a bad infection by the end of the song, a few bites off a bar will suffice for scrapes and bruises or the sniffles. As a bonus, it prevents problems related to allergies and even diabetes while it's playing.
Oh, and it has only half effectiveness on dental problems.
- CDThat which does not kill us... has made its last mistake.
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
" It's crazy to try to spell out all the mega-nooks and hyper-crannies of a Borg contrivance." - Doug Drexler
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Re: Pointless Powers - HoagieOfDoom - 10-30-2005
How about the "Winter Wonderland" parody "Walkin' 'Round In Women's Underwear"?
Lacy things, the wife is missin'
Didn't ask, her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the store, there's a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Lacy things- missin'
Didn't ask- permission
Wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Turns whatever Doug's currently wearing into women's undergarments. Also affects anyone named Melvin within hearing range.*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org
Re: Pointless Powers - classicdrogn - 10-30-2005
Usefu if you want to be inconspicuous at a showing of Rocky Horror, though, or as a "Doug Grenade" when used following a song that turns personal or targeted effects into area effects.
- CDThat which does not kill us... has made its last mistake.
SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
" It's crazy to try to spell out all the mega-nooks and hyper-crannies of a Borg contrivance." - Doug Drexler
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Re: Pointless Powers - Ebony - 10-31-2005
Quote:Maybe he could play it backwards? It works for Jon-Tom Meriweather.Ebony the Black Dragon
Sammy Hagar: "Marching to Mars." Sort of like a slow-mo version of Thunder Road, except it only leads to the local plane's Mars (or equivalent), at walking speed... and doesn't do anything to protect you once you're there. Also, stopping the song partway through leaves Doug at a proportional straight-line distance between his starting point and Mars's current position -- watch out for that hard vacuum, Doug. Or that suntan, if you started out at opposition. But perhaps the worst part is that it doesn't provide any way to get *back.*
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com
"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
Re: Pointless Powers - Bob Schroeck - 12-05-2005
Quote:Actually, that one's called "Joy To The World".
3 Dog Night: "Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog."
Quote:Oh, he is, he is.
(actually, I could see Doug as a big DK fan -- he comes the closest I can think of to a live-action Bugs Bunny in a lot of ways).
Quote:Ever see the webpage where some guy has translated this into Latin?
Sir Mix-a-Lot: "Baby Got Back."
Quote:As I recall, there's not really very much lyrical content in this song...
C&C Music Factory: "Everybody Dance Now."
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Re: Pointless Powers - Balentius - 12-08-2005
Quote:Actually, enough... It's really called "Gonna make you sweat":
As I recall, there's not really very much lyrical content in this song...
Everybody Dance now ...
Everybody Dance now ...
Give me the music
Give me the music
Everybody Dance now ...
Everybody Dance now ...
Yeah ... Yeah ... Yeah
Everybody Dance now ...
Yeah ... Yeah ... Yeah
Everybody Dance now ...
[rap by Freedom Williams]
Here is the doe, back with the bass
The jam is live in effect and I don't waste time
Or the mike if it don't rhyme
Jump to the rhythm jump jump to the rhythm jump
And I'm here to provide
Peace and lyrics to make your shake your pants
Take a chance, come on and dance
Guys grab a girl, don't wait, make a whirl
It's your world and I'm just a swirl
Trying to get a nut to move your butt
To the dance floor, so yo what's up
Hands in the air, Come on say yeah,
everybody over here everybody over there
the crowd is live and I feel this groove
Party people in the house
Move ... (Let your mind)
Move ... (Put me online)
(Chorus)
Come on let's sweat, baby
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Sweat, sweat
Let the music take control
Let the rhythm move you
Everybody dance now ...
Da da da da
da da da da
da da da da, da da da
da da da da, da da da
la da da da
la da da da
dum da dum da dum
everybody dance now
[rap by freedom williams]
Pause take a breath go for yours
On my command now hit the dance floors
I'm gonna make you sweat till you bleed
Is that ... enough, indeed
I pay the price, control the dice
I'm more precise, to a point I'm nice
The music takes control, your heart and soul
Oh, your body is free and a whole
Dance till you can't dance
Till you can't dance no more
Get on the floor and get warm
Then come back and upside down
Easy now, let me see ya
Move ... (Let your mind)
Move ... (Put me online)
The music is my life ...
everybody dance now ...
everybody dance now ...
everybody dance now ...
everybody ...
(Repeat Chorus)
Re: Pointless Powers - Bob Schroeck - 12-08-2005
...
I stand corrected.
Boy, do I stand corrected.
-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Re: Pointless Powers - Evil Midnight Lurker - 12-13-2005
"Dad? Why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"
"I don't know!"
--Sam
"Quijybo on the loose!"