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Nathan - need your okay on a scene - classicdrogn - 05-28-2008
As noted in the Updates thread, the new chapters are on MediaMiner along with teh fixed version of Search for Gero-Sennin - http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_st.php/153627/
Is this acceptable? Tentative background on local-you is that he arrived in the Leaf at the same age TGNH-you physically were, the only survivor of a merchant caravan that was otherwise wiped out before a Leaf patrol came acros it. Possibly Minato's, Rin remembering him enough to recognise his name when she made jounin and it came time to match up senseis with the academy-organised genin teams at his graduation and take that one.
I also have an important question for all co-conspirators down at the end.
Previously, Kakashi has just told the girls that he's arranged personal tutors for each of them before the finals, so he won't show favor to either of them, and told Tenten that she already knows hers quite well. Included is also a little clip from Sakura's meeting... which didn't go so well, at least in her opinion, as you can see.
----- 8< ----- cut here ----- 8< -----
*Noooooooo...* Inner Sakura spiralled away into a black pit of despair, as her reprieve vanished like a popped bunshin. She shuddered violently again as she saw herself in a green body suit and orange leg warmers, praising the power of youth as she was presented with a pair of huge pink eyebrows in a velvet lined box.
---=- + -=---
"Hyuuga Neji as your first match... I shouldn't favor you over any of the others since technically the exam as a whole is under the direction of my division, but then technically you're listed as being my personal student and heir to my techniques. Also, he finals are refereed by Hayate and judged by a panel and the Hokage, so no one's likely to cry foul. Anyway, you probably know more about him personally than I do." Neshen grinned and teased, "You've certainly gone on about his amazing skills and admirable drive enough times before."
"Hey!" Tenten's indignation only lasted until the first part of what he'd said sank in, at which point she did a double take and fixed him with an incredulous look. "Seriously? I'm listed as heir to your personal jutsu?"
"Don't get too excited, my techniques aren't anything any competent jounin couldn't figure out if they took the time. Is it really such a surprise? You know I live alone, and don't really expect to change that."
"Are you kidding? Just the fact that they've already been worked out into a useable form -as- techniques makes that incredibly valuable... A lot of clans base succession on techniques instead of blood, or even ownership of the main properties!"
He digested this for a moment, apparently a repeat in reverse of the way he'd felt when she'd spontaneously claimed him as a freind. "Well, if it means that much to you, I suppose I could put you in as the second name on the Baksuta register, being the successor and all. Though as far as I can tell, I'm the only one left anywhere, and none of my relatives were ninja."
The big, shiny eyes prompted by the offer were truly awe-inspiring, while the hug almost crushed his ribs, and definitely had jabbed some things with unconfortable edges into them. It was a few minutes before either were ready to continue the conversation.
"Anyway, I can confirm that Neji really is about as good as he thinks he is, which means he's a tough nut to crack unless you can specifically negate his advantages. I have a few ideas, and you're a bright girl, I'm sure you can figure out your own ways around -that.-"
"I can't share priveleged information, you understand, things that are considered clan secrets that I only know as head of the Archives. Building up your own strengths though, that's something I can do more freely. There's a trick to charging a kunai with chakra I'll show you later - it makes a regular blade almost as dangerous as one of the expensive "chakra fangs" for a short time, though it's much less energy effecient and doesn't provide the sustainable effect of the real thing. Between your holsters, hidden pockets, and sealing scrolls you should have far more weapons than any single opponent will have stamina to dodge or deflect, and your skill with wielded weapons for close range combat increased quite a bit while you were working with me. I assume you kept up your practise?"
"Yes, though no thanks to Hatake-*sensei.* I doubt he even noticed I used a different hand to hand weapon every few days, switching off from my fork. I had to get the information on basic styles for them from here."
"Hmm," he hummed, frowning. "Well, he did ask me to train you personally for the finals, so he's at least thinking about it that much. In many ways you're at the chuunin level already, so hopefully you won't have to put up with him for long."
Surprisingly, the girl shook her head. "No... As little help as he is that way to me, he seems to have finally gotten it through his head that we aren't just his old team reborn. He's doing really well for Sakura, and the only other living person who could teach Sasuke about the Sharingan is his brother, and nobody wants that. Including Sasuke, he'd probably gouge them out himself if he thought he would kill Itachi in the process. Kakashi just isn't much for weapons besides the basics, and his fuinjutsu is memorized, straight from the scrolls or more likely with his sharingan. But..." She shrugged, fidgeted, smiled, then shrugged again. "Sakura and I finally worked things out, and Sasuke was starting to open up a little even before Orochimaru shoved a dose of reality down his neck."
"Things are finally starting to work out for you, then? I'm glad."
"Yeah. Now that we're actually a team instead of just assigned together, I don't want to give them up, even Bakashi-sensei."
"I'm going to be charitable and assume that last bit was a slip of the tongue." Tenten just quirked her eyebrows and smiled angelically, so he let it drop and continued, "That's really good. Freindship that holds despite each others' faults - that's something to treasure. How is your own study of seals coming? You were working on a variation of mass sealing scroll that would launch kunai directly like your repeater traps, weren't you?"
Tenten pulled out the scrolls with her design notes and the current, still non-functional revision of the actual seals, and the two were shortly engrossed in discussing the effects she was working on.
----- 8< ----- cut here ----- 8< -----
Perhaps adding the bits of strategy against possible later opponents - using that kunai trick against Temari as well, if she's in the second round, or close combat since T doesn't sem to use anything but long range ninjutsu. Shikamaru, just keep him on the run and wear him down. In the other block, the most likely to make it to the finals are Tsukino, Uzumaki, and Gaara. Usagi because she can draw on ungodly amounts of chakra for powerful ninjutsu and has the luck of a kami even if her growth spurt's done bad things to her coordination, though the clan's tradition is that the chuunin and jounin finals must be faced without the use of their specialised family summons. Naruto, again with the massive chakra but he's also been training with the Leaf's number one taijutsu specialist since before he graduated, and has the will to keep standing back up even if you wear down his incredible stamina. Gaara... unless we come up with something really damn powerful, and even if we do if it doesn't work immediately... forfeit.
WHAT!!
A chuunin also needs to have good judgement. Yours isn't too bad, so don't let pride put you in Lee-kun's situation. We'll work on finding you a hidden ace for the situation where you face him, but if it doesn't work, forfeit before he has a chance to end your career, and possibly your life.
Or something like that...
I also want to fit this in somewhere -
"I finally figured out why Sasuke was being an even bigger painthan usual."
"Oh? Do tell."
Tenten stifled a giggle. "Denial... it seems Mr. Avenger somehow got interested in me as a girl, after deciding I was a serious ninja."
"... Are we talking about the same Uchiha Sasuke? With -his- attitude?" (psych profile?")?
"Tell me about it. After Sakura got the drop on me (in Round 2), he stopped ignoring her totally... I honestly think he might just hold a tournement and marry whoever wins when he gets around to the 'restore my clan' part of his oh-so-lofty ambition."
"Not exactly healthy."
"No, but it means I could finally patch things up with Sakura, and at least he's stopped avoiding me every chance he gets out of a twisted desire to not be like his annoying fan-girls."
Anyway, before I wrote the T/N scene above, I was planning to post the following:
Subj: Scene or No Scene?
I finally got around to writing Sakura vs. Tenten, Round 1, and it's... okay, but I'm not totally sure about it. Opinions?
----- 8< ----- cut here ----- 8< -----
A couple of weeks after her visit with her interim sensei, Tenten arrived at the bridge Team Seven used as a meeting spot to find not Kakashi but Sasuke reading a book with a light blush on his face. If not for the fact that she recognized the cover as belonging to one of the historical romances she herself owned a copy of, she'd have been rather upset at him picking up bad habits from the jounin.
Looking up at the sound of her ninja sandals on the bridge he snapped it closed and grunted a greeting, then leaned on the railing and fixedly ignored her and Sakura, arriving a minute or two later, until the pink had faded from his cheeks.
"Here. I bought this by accident. You said you read this tripe," the boy said as he proffered the novel to Tenten.
"Oh? Thanks, but I already read that one, it came out around the time you graduated. It is kind of racy, isn't it?" she giggled.
"Hnf." Why did he keep getting that weird hot feeling in his ears, Sasuke wondered.
"The ending was so sad, though! After all that, to lose his new family as well."
"Keh. Ryomaru was a fool, abandoning his vengeance for such weakening emotions. He should have expected Ichima to return. Achieving revenge at the cost of his own life... For such a result after allowing himself to go soft like that, he should have been thankful." Only too late did he realize that discussing the plot meant that he'd actually read the foolish thing, which he'd had no intention of admitting - of doing, doing! - no matter how bored he'd been.
This was easily more words than Sakura had -ever- heard Sasuke speak at one time, and now he had a bright blush again! *AAAH! SO CUTE!* Inner Sakura squealed at the sight. *Hell yeah! No, focus, dammit! Why the hell is -she- getting a present! Can't she see that Sasuke-kun is MINE MINE MINE!?* "Why you... Puffball-head! How dare you try to besmirch Sasuke-kun's mind with dirty books and embarrass him like that!"
"Geeze, use a hyouton, Sakura!" the older kunoichi complained. Teasing, she grabbed on to the silently mortified Uchiha's arm and played at pressing up against his shoulder the way his fangirls tended to do. "A noble samurai like Sasuke-dono has a MUCH stronger mind than that!"
Of course, she had a bit more in the way of endowment than either Sakura or Ino had so far developed, something he couldn't help but notice with certain scenes from the foolish story unfortunately fresh in his mind. This distraction kept him from instantly shaking her off as he usually would with his grabbier admirers. "Besides, maybe he wouldn't mind a little -smirching-, ne Sasuke-kuuu- eep!"
The clanless girl's playful tone turned into a yelp of surprise as her pink haired team mate roared with jealous rage and charged, only barely dodging away from the furious girl's wild punch in time to avoid a bloody or broken nose. "Whoa, hey! I'm just kidding around," she yelled, trying to defuse the situation. "I've told you dozens of times I don't -"
"SHUT UP! I've told YOU dozens of times, stay away from my Sasuke-kun, you oversized knife-freak!" Two more punches whiffed by as the brunette flipped away from the railing to land on the arch over the end of the bridge.
"OVERSIZED!? Why you--!" Suddenly realizing that the other girl wasn't exactly talking about her waistline, Tenten's eyes narrowed cattily. "Don't get upset, LITTLE girl, you've got lots of room to grow! Oops, I meant, -time!-"
"JUST DIE, YOU SKANKY OLD WOMAN! SHANNARO!!" Before she even really thought about it, a pair of kunai were in Sakura's hands, then flying through the air at her supposed friend.
Eyes widening at this level of escalation, Tenten took too long to react to deflect the thrown blades and had to dodge again, letting herself fall backwards off her perch while keeping a grip on the wooden arch, using that leverage and momentum to do a flipping leap toward the younger girl. The sun and moon fork she preferred for close combat appeared in her hands and two quick swats with its blunt brass sphere knocked the second pair of kunai out of Sakura's hands, then a third in the jealous girl's solar plexus sent her sprawling.
Landing on her butt on the planks of the bridge with a painful thump, the youngest Haruno wheezed and gasped for breath, looking up at the taller, faster, stronger, cuter, bustier... *Damn, it's just not fair! Why does she get to be better than me in every category?" she thought, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"Hey now, settle down," Tenten warned seriously, still holding a guard stance with her polearm. "Arguing is one thing, but pulling live blades is different."
Sasuke, still too embarrassed at the earlier discussion let alone being the object of a physical fight, couldn't evenn produce one of his signature moody grunts.
Scrambling to her feet, Sakura's mouth opened and shut a couple of times as she tried to respond, but finally all she could do was flee, stifled sobs fading into the distance as she ran.
Releasing her weapon, Tenten could only grimace at how very much their 'team' just did -not- work, before stalking off to perch on the branch of a nearby tree, fuming at how badly Sakura had over-reacted as well as herself for provoking the girl, even if she was just teasing and even if the green-eyed (literally and figuratively!) pinkie was practically begging for it.
Neither had significantly improved their mood by the time their sensei arrived an hour and a half later. "Yo," the jounin greeted lazily, eye curved in his usual carefree expression. He'd really outdone himself thinking up a good excuse this morning, as soon as the usual complaints were out of the way...
The usual shout of "You're late," yes...
Any second now...
"Ara? You could greet your teacher with a little enthusiasm," he complained. *And it was such a good excuse, too! Oh well, a few more minutes to read Icha Icha next time.* Looking around, he visually confirmed what his nose and more esoteric senses had already told him. "Sakura-san already left? Did something happen?"
Sasuke grunted, with a bit of extra irritation mixed into the brooding.
Tenten was a bit more informative, tersely and accurately summarizing the earlier confrontation. "I didn't mean anything more than some friendly joking around," she concluded, "but even if it's partly my fault, she didn't have to over react like that!" Huffing, she flopped back down at the base of her tree. "Talk about your jealous little brats.." she muttered quietly.
Kakashi considered the situation for a few seconds, then decided it was probably for the best if the kids had got it out of their systems. "Eh... Well, I guess she can miss today. She'll settle down, and then train a little extra next week to make it up. It's a simple mission for you anyway, just buying some groceries..."
----- 8< ----- cut here ----- 8< -----
Cue Sakura demanding extra lessons, early the next morning. Of course, Hatake-baka STILL doesn't quite get it, but... he's getting closer. Taking some kind of active role, at least, but it won't be until just before the Chuunin Exams that he really gets it through his ghead that the kids are not just his old team rebiorn in slightly different ways. To the point that I mean to have him dangle a basic medic-nin jutsu scrol in front of Tenten shortly before Round Two, only to have her hand it off to Sakura because even if her control is getting close to where it would be possible, Tenten is more interested in weapons use and fuinjutsu, and doesn't want to cut back on them.
The typo I got rid of while writing that paragraph gave me a perfect insult for Sakura to use in that fight. "You think I'll be satified with just your castoffs, TEN-YEN?" One ryo being ten yen, and having just before accused her of trying to string Sasuke along despite saying she's only interested in a different boy. The ijutsu scroll was framed as a peace offering to try to end their argument.
(later still) Man, watching filler arcs for the nuggets I plan to mine from them is such a pain, I can't write for a day or two afterwards. Stupidy seems to be contagious, if I try, it comes out pants.
(after finishing the Wave mission) I made a new word: poutburst. It's perfect for Inari's whiny diatribes, no?
Holy cow am I on a roll lately - there's around 200kb more in my LoXY directory now as there was two weeks or so ago when I posted Search for Gero Sennin at last. As noted, the Wave mission is finished, though it still fels a little uneven to me, so any suggestions will be taken gratefully and most carefully considered. Unless they're so damn good I don't need to think about it, of course. I've been working on the next chapter, Icha Icha Jealousy, essentially simultaneously as well as throwing the occasional note or scene into the one after that, Get Up From The Falls. They cover Teams 7 & 8 in the same time frame, so it makes sense in an odd sort of way.
I was actually going scene for scene and kilobyte for kilobyte for a while with Wave and Jealousy, until I hit the finale of Wave at around 70kb of the total 100kb - I think Icha Icha Jealousy may end up a tad longer since it's an original mission... well, as much as anything is in fanfic. I still have most of the actual mission to write - the girls' fight is just a couple of blows, but it happens in the field and the real enemies emerge when they see the ninja guard fighting amongst themselves. It's the aftermath that matters anyway - them working things out and fitting together to where Baka-shi can see that the teamwork he thought was just autommatically there has in fact developed in the course of the mission.
Icha Icha Jealosy has turned into more of a Sakura chapter than I expected, with her extra training and the bond developed between her and her sensei in the course of it, but that's okay I suppose - Tenten had the first chapter and Sasuke is still the focus of their parts of the Forest of Death. It also contains some logical extrapolation on the purpose of D-rank missions, and enough exploration of the Haruno bloodline limit that I'm actually starting to think I made the dual mind thing too powerful, even for a relatively major clan if nowhere near as big as the Hyuuga or formerly the Uchiha.
Get Up From The Falls is unquestionably a Hinata piece - Shino and Kiba are pretty good already and stand in well enough for Sasuke and Naruto in the Waterfall mission as far as I'm keeping it canoniod, but making a place in the story for their third team mate and showing her growth after taking a casual comment as so much more than intended have really been what made it sing for me. I also introduced (gasp!) a non-angsty, non-asshole, non-bitter Hyuuga Branch House member! Her name is Nagisa, nine years old, Mitarashi Hotaru's best (only) friend, and who inherited the red hair and attitude of her non-Hyuuga father along with the Byakugan chakra channeling membrane of her mother.
That changes her eyes from the original character's brown to white with a faint tinge of amber - she's lifted almost unchanged from Futari Wa Pretty Cure, an athletic, cheerful girl who doesn't bother hiding her caged bird seal and always makes Hinata blush on sight by reminding her of her most secret (coughcough) dream. There have to be a FEW Hyuuga who don't have their heads so far up their asses they make a triple loop, after all... naturally the clan Elders hold her up as the example of why love matches are folly compared to thoughtful arrangements made by senior family members, ie themselves, though that works to her advantage a bit in that they already see her as so unHyuuga that getting permission to train in her father's kendo style (after and secondary to her Jyyuuken training of course) wasn't too difficult. I'm kind of thinking of having her crush on Neji once he's de-assified post-Chuunin Exam, but I don't expect romantic entanglements to become any more of a driving force than they already are.
Okay, so the other really big question - Nathan, Griever, Drakensis, you have inserts so I espescially want to hear your opinions here, but everyone feel free to chime in:
My Rock Lee can do exactly one external jutsu, which I still have to look up some appropriate japanese for: the Silent Cat's Foot, which is similar to the other mobility chakra control excercises, ut reinforcing the ground to leave no footprints, and which is neccessary not to sink into it with his weights.
The question is, should I leave it at that, or as it comes around to power up season have him discover that whatever he's doing it's not the SCF... and he can reinforce all kinds of things, even if that's the only thing he can do - his tool use score is 4 out of 5 when we see his nin-info card, after all.
The idea came to me remembering his being known for hot-bloodedness, the idea that his body is itself a weapon as tough as steel... and a few lines from another anime, which I'm fairly sure you'll recognise.
It starts out, "I am the bone of my sword, Steel my body and fire my blood..."
On one end of the possum, it's an idea that calls out to me with its mighty awesomeness. On the other, I didn't and still don't want to do any real setting crossovers, all the fusion characters I've brought in have been adapted for the Naruto world. On the squishy bit in the middle, it would be far from the wierdest or most powerful special ability we've seen, but would it take too much from Lee's nindo? Or... would he possibly discover it and refuse to use it in battle except under 'protect a precious person' type conditions, maybe even keep it a secret?
He certainly wouldn't be pulling out Unlimited Blade Works level ability until the endgame vs. the potato-yaros at the earliest if I do go for it... but I can't decide. It's just so tempting, imagining the look on Itachi's face, pulled into a desolate alternate world of red light to be stabbed by over one thousand swords...
So, what say you?
- CD, really doesn't like traitors
PS: I just realised, I haven't posted the potato scene yet... 'the potato-bastards" are Akatsuki, so called becasue 'akazuki' is so similar, a plant called red potato, commonly used as a soup flavoring esp. in miso, and even befroe I knew that I thought the clouds on their cloaks looked like potatoes. So I have Naruto ask them why they're wearing clothes with big red potatoes on them when even he doesn't like akazuke miso ramen that much.
END OF LINE
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"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
- drakensis - 05-29-2008
Well using chakra to reinforce things sounds fairly similar to Shikanenai's trick with paper, if you're using that here. I've never actually seen
Unlimited Blade Works in action so I can't comment on that, but if Lee was able to use the trick to, say, reinforce his spandex until it was essentially
armoured, that could be a very useful trick.
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
- Valles - 05-31-2008
I'm going to be rereading this and the rest of TXY tomorrow, but at from my first pass I didn't find anything to object to. Unless you hear different
at a later date, the word is 'go'. ^_^
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."