A Modern-Day Samurai Tale: Black Wolf Corps - Printable Version +- Drunkard's Walk Forums (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums) +-- Forum: General (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Other People's Fanfiction (http://www.accessdenied-rms.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +--- Thread: A Modern-Day Samurai Tale: Black Wolf Corps (/showthread.php?tid=7969) |
A Modern-Day Samurai Tale: Black Wolf Corps - ArachnosX - 08-30-2008 Black Wolf Corps is a love letter to the Shinsengumi, to the Mecha genre, and to the pure unadulterated awesome of swordfight series like Rurouni Kenshin (/highlyrecommended) and Peace Maker (also recommended). I haven't written any actual -fiction- in ages, so bear with me while I try to find my voice again. A brief translation guide - Jinzouningen: Cyborg/Robot [here, it refers to the Mecha themselves]. Okita Sanshiro is the name of the grandfather of Okita Soji - the captain of the 1st squad of the Shinsengumi. Saito Hajime is the name of the third captain - Katsura Saito is not not descended from Hajime, but he is named after the legendary captain, whose 'left-handed thrust' was his specialty. Modern Samurai Legend: Black Wolf Corps The year is 2012. Developments in the arms race yield the discovery of force-shield technology by English scientist Michael Rosenkrantz. The Rosenkrantz Defense Barrier becomes the European Alliance's secret weapon. To counter the European Alliance and prepare for war, Japan creates ten massive war machines, the Jinzouningen. Armed with microfilament barrier-breaking weapons, the jinzouningen are stationed around Tokyo City, and given to the ten highest-scoring pilots. Now, the world watches, anticipation and fear growing as war's dark shadow threatens to engulf the future. The only hope lies in the ten Jinzouningen and their supporting vehicles...in the Black Wolf Corps! Katsura Saito was late. It wasn't really his fault - traffic was horrible at this time of day, the trains were overcrowded, and his apartment was about an hour away on foot - but he doubted the commander would be lenient over that fact. Especially on the first day of reserve duty. As he skidded around the corner, Saito flipped up his phone. If he hurried, he'd get there in five minutes, and maybe the commander wouldn't notice his error. Of course, in his haste, he neglected to look around the corner first. The woman threw up her hands as they collided, and Saito's eyes widened as his phone slipped out of his hand and his feet from the ground. "Ow ow ow ow ow!" He muttered, rubbing his forehead. "Watch where you're going!" "I could say the same to you, idiot!" The woman countered, sticking her tongue out as she picked herself up off the ground. She brushed her deep black ponytail over her shoulder and stuck out her tongue again as he got up. "It's rude to run into people, you know!" What a stupid thing to say, Saito thought as his hand clenched around his phone. "Then you're rude, too!" "You were the one running!" "So were you!" Saito flipped his phone back up. The delay had already cost him a whole minute; he scrambled to his feet. "I don't have time for this!" He shouted as he dodged around the woman. He heard her shriek of 'moron!' - among other things - as he ran for dear job, boots clunking against the ground. "Katsura Saito, reporting for duty!" Saito saluted as he ran through the doors of the Black Wolf Corps' barracks. The receptionist looked up at him, barely catching a glimpse of his ID card and the distinctive widow's peak of his face as he passed. "Have a nice...day..." She managed - a bit too late. The turnstyle bypassed with a leap and a flash of his card, Saito was already halfway down the hall. "The Black Wolf Corps is the largest defensive army in Japan. Organized by the government, Black Wolf Corps' one and only duty is the defense of the capitol." Saito ducked into the lecture, taking his place in the back row. Crossing his fingers as he slid his ID card back into his pocket, he closed his eyes, praying the Commander hadn't noticed. "Captain Katsura Saito." The clear, crisp voice of the Commander rang out in the hall, and all eyes turned to stare at the latecomer captain. "How good of you to arrive so punctually." "Just...doing my job, sir?" Saito replied, breaking into a sheepish grin and hoping against hope that it was convincing enough to fool the commander and distract from the sweat on his brow. "Next time, Captain Katsura, you should leave earlier. Traffic is terrible." The commander stepped forward, and the ranks opened for him in unison. A visually imposing man, Commander Hijito's tall form was punctuated by his slim, stern, and altogether sharp face, and Saito involuntarily swallowed as the clean-cut man reached him. Hijito tilted forward just a bit, narrowing his eyes to slits. "I'll...I'll remember that, Commander, sir." Saito finally managed. "Five minutes earlier." "Ten." Hijito replied, "I want you here five minutes ahead of schedule every day this week, Captain Katsura." "Sir, yes sir!" Saito snapped, clicking his heels together and saluting. "I will make certain to arrive five minutes ahead of schedule every day this week, sir!" "Very good." Hijito turned and headed back up the ranks, taking his place at the head of the lecture. Saito's sigh was barely noticeable as the ranks closed once again, and he mopped some of the sweat off his brow. Narrowly escaping discharge wasn't something he hoped to be doing again. Saito filed out of the lecture as Commander Hijito dismissed the group. "I've never seen anybody actually sweat staring down the commander!" Someone said from behind him. He whirled to meet the source of the voice, and found himself staring at a soldier who could only be called a boy. Maybe eighteen, a slim face framed by long hair, and a cheery smile that nearly threw Saito completely off-guard, the boy reached around and patted Saito on the back. "C'mon, keep walking - if you stand around like that, you'll get in the way, and then you'll wind up talking to the Commander again." "You make it sound like a punishment." Saito said after a moment, taking the boy's advice and heading down the hallway before the rest of the units left. "You made it look like a punishment," the boy replied, still far too cheery and chipper for his own good. "I'm Sanshiro." "Katsura Saito," Saito answered, holding out his hand. Sanshiro shook it briskly. "So I heard," he noted, "So you're a captain, too? Which unit are you in?" Saito dug out his ID card, turning it over. There, under his name and beside his slim-featured face (a poor picture of it, too - it always turned out that way), was his rank. "Third," he responded, "Wait, too?" "You didn't read your briefing packets, did you?" Sanshiro inquired, looking up at Saito. Saito shook his head. "No, I didn't have time this morning. They let a kid into the military at such a high rank?" "I'm Kensen Sanshiro, Captain of the First Unit. Nice to meet you!" "Nice...to meet you too..." Saito managed. "Hey...you wanna see 'em?" Sanshiro asked after a moment, flicking his eyes down an adjacent hall. Saito turned his head to follow Sanshiro's gaze. The huge double-doors marked 'Hangar' met his eyes, and Saito stopped in his tracks. Sanshiro glanced up at him before turning and heading towards the doors. "Guess that's a yes!" He chirped. "Hey, wait a minute! Won't we get in trouble with-" "The commander?" Sanshiro intercepted, "I doubt it. We're going to be piloting these things, after all. It'll be nice to get a look at them, right?" "I guess," Saito conceded. Truth be told, he was anxious to see the real jinzouningen for himself, and Sanshiro didn't seem to be worried about any consequences anyway. Besides, if they got in trouble, they'd be able to stand together, and better together than alone. He turned and headed down after Sanshiro, meeting him as the double-doors opened. There they were. Ten massive black machines, massive metal men awaiting their fleshy counterparts to join them in battle. Each one was detailed with a blue shoulder-shield, over which a black wolf insignia was proudly emblazoned, and each of the jinzouningen stood bearing these crests with the dignity befitting Japan's great weapons. Saito's eyes roamed over the machines, taking in each detail, each facet of their armor, each weak point of their joints, each partially-concealed weapon. "They're pretty cool, aren't they?" Sanshiro's voice brought him crashing back into himself. "Which one is yours?" Saito looked over the machines once more before pointing at the third from the left. The barrier-breaker weapon gleamed just beneath its arm, ready to fall from its hidden sheath into the left hand - his best hand. Just under the wolf-crest was painted '03' in brilliant white, but even without it, he'd noticed the signs. It was ready for him. Sanshiki - his jinzouningen - Katsura Saito's! - CattyNebulart - 09-01-2008 No-one commented? Hmm the intro is a little off putting but still. Quote:"I could say the same to you, idiot!" The woman countered, sticking her tongue out as she picked herself up off the ground. She brushed her deep black ponytail over her shoulder and stuck out her tongue again as he got up. "It's rude to run into people, you know!" Sticking the tongue out is repeated, bad style. Quote: He heard her shriek of 'moron!' - among other things - as he ran for dear job, boots clunking against the ground. He heard her shriek 'moron!' - among other things - as he ran to keep his job, boots clunking against the ground. Quote:"The Black Wolf Corps is the largest defensive army in Japan. Organized by the government, Black Wolf Corps' one and only duty is the defense of the capitol." Seems kind of stupid to have the largest defense force reserved for the capitol, not that I would put it past the politicians but still. Then again Tokyo would be a vital strategic objective, maybe mention something along those lines in the briefing if you want the force taken seriously? Overall it's ok, but it could use some more polish (probably why you posted it here in the first place, isn't it?) It reminds me a bit of the beginning of Code Geas, where the nationalist stance is also quite strong and off-putting. It makes a lot of sense for a military unit though, so I'm not sure what you should/could do about it. E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?" B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell." - ArachnosX - 09-01-2008 I actually missed that I typed the tongue bit twice, so thanks for catching that. (Blah, poor mind!) To be -completely- fair to the setting, as it's a "Shinsengumi" story, I've had to do some things that are -terrible- tactically (Wait, what? Shields for siege and melee vs. long-range missiles?) but are necessary to make sense in the story. Willing suspension of disbelief and all. I actually do want to polish it a bit, though my primary reason for putting it up here is just practice at fiction. Chosen discipline ftl when it comes to description! - CattyNebulart - 09-02-2008 probably why this is not quite to my taste, it does fit what little I know of Shinsengumi, and I can't stand that either. I want to like it because I like the artwork and I like UF's treatment of it but... oh well. E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?" B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell." |