2016-10-02: Tell me, what do you want?
10-18-2023, 08:21 PM (This post was last modified: 01-31-2024, 11:50 AM by robkelk.)
10-18-2023, 08:21 PM (This post was last modified: 01-31-2024, 11:50 AM by robkelk.)
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 2, 2016
Epsilon was reading through his contract, again. He stopped when he reached the part about helping his residents — "willing to assist the people around him or her" was in the job description — and realized that he needed more information if he was going to do that. So he'd better find out what he could assist them with.
Beyond the obvious things that he could see in practically any episode of Ranma ½, that is.
"What's it worth to you?"
Epsilon sighed quietly. He should have known better than to start with Nabiki. "I'll just put down that you want money and control over your own life," he said in the vaguely-friendly tone that he'd learned over years of working in a call centre (and had been using quite a lot since his displacees had arrived).
She nodded and quickly said, "Sure, I can live with that."
Which left him a bit worried as to what else she wanted that she wasn't willing to admit to for free.
"What do I want while I'm here? It would be nice to be back in class, at a school where nobody wants to beat me up in order to date me."
"Right, we should see whether we can get all of you into school, if you want to continue your studies here." Epsilon made a note to talk with somebody at Dr. John Hugh Gillis Regional High School, once he knew who else wanted to take classes. "Is there anything else that we can help you with, Akane?"
"Only if you can get Ranma to take me seriously," she whispered sourly.
"Sorry, but I doubt even the gods can help you there."
"When he fought Saffron, he said he loved me. But he keeps stringing along all the other girls! He might love me, but he doesn't respect me!" After she caught her breath, Akane added in sudden realization, "Or any of the others, either."
"That means it's his problem, not yours."
"But it affects me!"
"Respect would be nice," Mousse said, "but I'm so used to Shampoo and Cologne not respecting me that I don't know what I'd do if actually got some respect. Who's that American comedian who doesn't get any respect?"
"Rodney Dangerfield?" Epsilon asked.
"Yeah, he knows what my life's like. Or knew," he corrected himself. "No, wait, maybe you can help me. Is there any way to get rid of Saotome? Maybe send him to a different residence?"
"He'd have to be willing to move. I don't think that'll happen any time soon."
Mousse shrugged. "It was worth a try. Could you look the other way while I take care of the problem my way, then?"
"Are you asking me to be complicit in a murder? Because that would get both of us sent to jail. Besides, do you really think that hurting the boy that Shampoo loves will get her to love you instead?"
"Maybe, maybe not. But I know that she and the rest of the Joketsuzoku believe this: Obstacles are for killing."
"I'm not a fighter, so I can't stop you, but please don't kill anybody while you're here."
"You Westerners are all soft that way. I don't see how your societies function when a person isn't allowed to stand up for his rights." After a moment, Mousse added, "Of course, I don't see a lot of things."
"That, we might be able to help you with. Eye surgery has come a long way since 1992."
"Shampoo busy-busy with lunch rush. Talk later."
"I don't know whether you can help me. I turn into a pig when I get wet, I have the worst sense of direction in the world, and the girl that I love didn't come with us to this reality."
"But Akane-san..." Epsilon started, only to stop when Ryouga shook his head.
"I know that I don't have any hope to win her heart. Saotome's beat me to her, the cad. And I don't mean any of the other girls here, either. Mousse likes Shampoo, and he can have her. Did you know she tried to turn me into lunch for Saotome the day she met me?"
Epsilon nodded. "I saw that episode, yes."
"So you know why I can't trust her. Ukyo-san's nice enough, I guess, but she doesn't really understand me despite being a martial artist herself. No, the girl I love is Akari Unryu. She knows who I am and what I am, and she still loves me. Can you talk to your bosses and get her here?"
"I... have no idea."
Ryouga sighed. "I didn't think so. I suppose you can't do anything about the Jusenkyo curse, either."
"I could give you a Thermos."
"I already have three. The water doesn't stay warm enough for more than an hour or two."
"Oh." After a moment, Epsilon said, "I might be able to do something about your lack of direction. Ryouga, have you ever heard of GPS?"
"Yes. They tried to arrest me for vagrancy."
Epsilon looked puzzled for a moment, then had a realization. "Not the Guelph Police Service. How did you get to Guelph, anyway? No, don't answer that. GPS as in Global Positioning System - a set of satellites and portable devices that help people find their way around."
"Like a map? I've never been good with maps."
"These devices tell you where to go."
"I'd like to tell Saotome where to go..."
"Not like that."
"I know, but I couldn't resist. I don't follow directions well, either. But it's funny..."
After a moment, Epsilon asked, "What's funny?"
Ryouga looked straight at Epsilon, thought for a moment, then said, "I end up going places I never thought I could get to, just by walking. And since we all came to your world, I've discovered that kami really exist. What if they're guiding me?"
"Using you as their agent, you mean?"
"Like that Sam Beckett guy seems to be in that TV show that that cute girl in New Brunswick mentioned."
"I didn't know you've been to New Brunswick, although I'm not surprised."
"I do get around, don't I? No, wait, it wasn't New Brunswick, it was the next town over."
Epsilon looked puzzled; New Brunswick, as far as he knew, was a province, not a city.
Ryouga didn't seem to notice. "Somerset, that was the place."
That town, Epsilon had heard of. "Do you happen to know the name of that girl?"
"Oh, yeah. She's named Yui. Or maybe Ui. No, that's her sister. Definitely Yui."
Of course, Epsilon thought.
"But now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to think that being a wandering Ally of Justice just might be what I'm destined to be. And if that is my purpose in life, all I really need from you and your bosses is a bed to sleep in once in a while and a place to keep my stuff."
"I think we can accommodate you. Literally."
"I got pretty much everything I want, Epsilon," Ranma said. "Except that Pops and Mr. Tendo keep pushing me to marry Akane."
"You don't want to marry Akane?"
"Not as long as I'm being forced into it. Oh, could you arrange for people to come by and challenge me? Not every day, or even every week, but I gotta keep my skills honed, and nobody here's good enough to do that any more."
Epsilon nodded. "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything. If you want to work on your speed training, there are plenty of farms around that could use somebody to pick berries right now."
"That's not much of a challenge."
"It is if you don't want to squeeze the berries to pulp while picking them, and make them useless."
"I'll think about it. Oh, speaking of thinking," Ranma paused, looked around, didn't hear any comments from Ryouga, Mousse, his father, or Nabiki, and went on, "I got to the point where I was actually enjoying school. Can you sign me up for classes here?"
"I already promised Akane that I'd look into that. I'll add your name to the list."
"Thanks. Oh, and can you get Mousse to stop bugging me about Shampoo?"
Epsilon sighed. "You do know that the easiest way to solve that little problem is to convince Shampoo that you don't want her, right?"
"She ain't taking hints."
"Tell her outright."
"Can't do that. Honour's on the line."
"Whose honour? Yours, your family's, or hers?"
Ranma didn't have an answer for that.
"Tell our ungrateful children to hurry up and get married already," Genma said as Soun re-arranged the pieces on the shogi board.
"I think that that's something I should leave to their parents to do," Epsilon quickly replied. "I'm not part of their social circle."
That comment got him a couple of sour looks from said parents, but neither man said anything about it.
October 3, 2016
"Of course I want Ranma-honey as my husband. Our fathers made an agreement, and the Saotomes already took the dowry that the Kuonji family offered."
Epsilon thought for a moment. "What if they gave back the okonomiyaki cart? Or paid for it, with interest?"
Ukyo shook her head. "The only payment I'll take is Ranma. The Kuonji family has already made enough money that the loss of the cart isn't a financial issue. What it is is a matter of honor: He has to marry me, and then we work together in a okonomiyaki-ya."
"He is a martial artist, though. Do you think he'd be happy as a small-businessman?"
"Who cares? Honor says that that doesn't matter. Even you should be able to see it: If he marries anybody but me, I'm honor-bound to kill him and whoever he marries."
"Or die trying?"
"No, sugar, that isn't an option."
Epsilon knew a losing battle when he saw one. "Is there anything else, that isn't related to Ranma, that I can help you with?"
Ukyo thought for a moment. "I wouldn't mind going to school."
"Only one thing Shampoo need. Manager can help by hiring priest and booking wedding chapel for Shampoo and Ranma."
"Doesn't he have a say in the matter? You aren't in China any more, or even in your own universe; those laws don't matter any more."
"You say Shampoo not bound by laws of the Joketsuzoku now that she in this world. Shampoo say she and great-grandmother are last of the Joketsuzoku. Oh, and Mousse," she added dismissively. "That make it more-more important to keep old ways alive. Shampoo must marry airen. It matter of honor. Who care he not love Shampoo?"
So much for that idea, Epsilon thought. "I suspect he cares. And there's also the fact that he needs to be seen to sign a marriage licence, of his own free will. Other than getting Ranma, is there anything that I might be able to help you with?"
"No. Manager not fighter or cook, cannot train Shampoo."
"But I do know that there are other fighters and other cooks in other residences. Maybe some of them would be able to teach you."
"Shampoo think Shampoo train them, not other way around, maybe."
"As long as Shampoo is happy, I'm happy. Although using that word reminds me: Where is Happosai?"
"I think you're inviting trouble needlessly by asking that, Cologne."
"I think I'm being properly paranoid, Aaron. Everybody who lives in this building has a long-standing relationship with each of the other people here, except for you, our local guide. Happy is the only person who fits into our group who isn't here. And there's obviously a bed set aside for him in Soun's apartment. I don't believe in luck. Where is he?"
Epsilon thought for a moment. "I want to say you're wrong, but I can't believe that. I can ask around for what good it'll do."
"Thank you. Oh, there is something that you or your friends can help me with. Ever since we arrived here, Shampoo and Mousse have been deferring to me."
"Shampoo told me that she considers the three of you to be the last of the Joketsuzoku. Isn't it normal for her to defer to her village Elders?"
"Village elder? Me? I suppose that it might look that way from the outside because I'm so old, but I'm not in charge of anything there. If I was, they'd never let me go to Japan. No, I'm just an old woman who was enjoying her retirement until my great-granddaughter went and got herself cursed at Jusenkyo." Epsilon very carefully did not point out that Cologne had taken an active part in said cursing. "But that doesn't solve my current problem. Somebody needs to tell those two to stop."
"Ah," Epsilon pointed out, "you did just say that you wanted Shampoo to be happy."
"I did, didn't I? In that case, I need some lessons in leadership."
"Would some informal lessons work?"
"How informal?"
"The 'throw you into the deep end and let you learn from doing' level of informal, alongside some other people who are doing their best to lead their groups."
Cologne stared at Epsilon for a moment. "You're trying to get me to do some of your work for you, aren't you?"
"Not really. You'd be working beside me in the Advisory Board that the residence managers have set up to deal with things that are too big for one residence to deal with but too small to bring to the attention of the staff at Funtom."
"That sounds like something you should be doing, not me."
"I don't know what to look for in your group that would be a sign of a problem. You've know everybody else here for years."
She thought for a moment. "All right, you've got yourself a colleague. But I expect some actual on-the-job training in the role."
"I think that can be arranged."
"He didn't talk to you? I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"
Akane headed for the door, but stopped in surprise when Kasumi said, "Imouto-chan." Kasumi almost never called her that; she usually used her name. "You can't force him to like me."
"But why wouldn't he like you?"
"I don't know. Does it matter?"
"I think it matters."
Phantomhive Manor, County Kent, UK
October 9, 2016
Sebastian looked through the very first report filed from the Antigonish residence. Not bad. Somewhat sparse in details, though. He read through some of the longer entries, and wondered with a bit of trepidation about the entry for the Hibiki boy. If there actually was somebody on the Other Side using him as a cat's-paw, it bore investigating as to why. Quietly, so as not to upset the current agreement between the Daimakaichou and her equivalent in that blessed place.
He smiled at the mention that Shampoo wasn't speaking fluent English. This wasn't something to bring to the attention of that little debugger in Heaven, this was something that he would have done in the mortal's place. Smart mortal, playing to the stereotype and not revealing her fluency.
Then he reached the end of the report before he expected to. No, this won't do at all. We need full information. He took a sheet of paper from his desk and dashed off a hand-written note to be delivered in the next post:
Then he made a copy of the report that he did have and composed a covering letter for it, addressed to Dr. Harold Shea in Vicksburg. For the sake of Lord Phantomhive's building-repair budget, something needed to be done about the personality conflicts in the Antigonish residence — the sooner, the better.
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 10, 2016
"So, you're back. Did your bosses tell you to do a better job of finding out what I want while I'm here?"
"They did," Epsilon admitted to Nabiki.
"I guessed this would happen as soon as you gave up without even trying to make a deal with me."
"I doubt I can afford your prices. But now that I've been told to do this, I can use company funds."
"Put your money away," Nabiki said, which astonished Epsilon. "I'll give you this one for free because it helps me get what I want: Not everything that's an asset can be measured by money."
"So why do you charge Ranma for every favour he asks from you?"
Nabiki laughed. "Because that's all he's got, besides his martial arts skills. And he was already beating up Kuno for free."
Epsilon thought for a moment. "If you tell me what you want while you're in Refuge, I might be able to help get it for you."
"That's the way to do it! Now, can you help me find a decent high school around here?"
"That depends on your definition of 'decent'."
"Some place with an International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, if that's still a thing. I want to get into a good university with a good business program."
"The local high school offers IB Diplomas. I found that out when I got the enrolment forms for Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo."
"Well, then, help me with the paperwork and I'll get out of your hair."
"What little hair I have left," he muttered.
"Oh, you have more than Mr. Saotome does."
"Oh, my. I don't need anything, really."
"That wasn't what I asked, Ms. Tendo."
"I see." Kasumi wasn't happy about being kept at a formal social distance by her building manager, but she had no choice in the matter. "The harmony of the house is important to me; I would like to see it preserved as much as possible. I also hope that I am doing a good job helping to keep the building clean and the people living here fed."
Epsilon sighed deeply. "That is what everyone else here expects of you, Ms. Tendo. It still does not answer my question."
She thought for a moment, choosing her next words carefully so that she wouldn't annoy her landlord any further. The harmony of the house was important, after all. "I would very much like to continue my studies, and become a chiropractor. Does the university here offer courses in this field?"
"They do not."
"Then I see no way to further my studies. We don't have any money to send me to school in another city." After a moment with no reply from Epsilon, she continued, "I wouldn't mind a boyfriend. Oh, not you, of course, somebody closer to my own age. I used to think that I didn't want a boring boyfriend, but after seeing Ranma's life, some boredom looks attractive now."
"I can't help you with either of those things, Ms. Tendo."
"I know that, Mr. Peori. But you did ask, so I would be remiss if I failed to answer."
As he was getting ready for bed, Epsilon took a look at himself in his bathroom mirror and sighed. "So, Aaron... what do you want?"
October 2, 2016
Epsilon was reading through his contract, again. He stopped when he reached the part about helping his residents — "willing to assist the people around him or her" was in the job description — and realized that he needed more information if he was going to do that. So he'd better find out what he could assist them with.
Beyond the obvious things that he could see in practically any episode of Ranma ½, that is.
"What's it worth to you?"
Epsilon sighed quietly. He should have known better than to start with Nabiki. "I'll just put down that you want money and control over your own life," he said in the vaguely-friendly tone that he'd learned over years of working in a call centre (and had been using quite a lot since his displacees had arrived).
She nodded and quickly said, "Sure, I can live with that."
Which left him a bit worried as to what else she wanted that she wasn't willing to admit to for free.
"What do I want while I'm here? It would be nice to be back in class, at a school where nobody wants to beat me up in order to date me."
"Right, we should see whether we can get all of you into school, if you want to continue your studies here." Epsilon made a note to talk with somebody at Dr. John Hugh Gillis Regional High School, once he knew who else wanted to take classes. "Is there anything else that we can help you with, Akane?"
"Only if you can get Ranma to take me seriously," she whispered sourly.
"Sorry, but I doubt even the gods can help you there."
"When he fought Saffron, he said he loved me. But he keeps stringing along all the other girls! He might love me, but he doesn't respect me!" After she caught her breath, Akane added in sudden realization, "Or any of the others, either."
"That means it's his problem, not yours."
"But it affects me!"
"Respect would be nice," Mousse said, "but I'm so used to Shampoo and Cologne not respecting me that I don't know what I'd do if actually got some respect. Who's that American comedian who doesn't get any respect?"
"Rodney Dangerfield?" Epsilon asked.
"Yeah, he knows what my life's like. Or knew," he corrected himself. "No, wait, maybe you can help me. Is there any way to get rid of Saotome? Maybe send him to a different residence?"
"He'd have to be willing to move. I don't think that'll happen any time soon."
Mousse shrugged. "It was worth a try. Could you look the other way while I take care of the problem my way, then?"
"Are you asking me to be complicit in a murder? Because that would get both of us sent to jail. Besides, do you really think that hurting the boy that Shampoo loves will get her to love you instead?"
"Maybe, maybe not. But I know that she and the rest of the Joketsuzoku believe this: Obstacles are for killing."
"I'm not a fighter, so I can't stop you, but please don't kill anybody while you're here."
"You Westerners are all soft that way. I don't see how your societies function when a person isn't allowed to stand up for his rights." After a moment, Mousse added, "Of course, I don't see a lot of things."
"That, we might be able to help you with. Eye surgery has come a long way since 1992."
"Shampoo busy-busy with lunch rush. Talk later."
"I don't know whether you can help me. I turn into a pig when I get wet, I have the worst sense of direction in the world, and the girl that I love didn't come with us to this reality."
"But Akane-san..." Epsilon started, only to stop when Ryouga shook his head.
"I know that I don't have any hope to win her heart. Saotome's beat me to her, the cad. And I don't mean any of the other girls here, either. Mousse likes Shampoo, and he can have her. Did you know she tried to turn me into lunch for Saotome the day she met me?"
Epsilon nodded. "I saw that episode, yes."
"So you know why I can't trust her. Ukyo-san's nice enough, I guess, but she doesn't really understand me despite being a martial artist herself. No, the girl I love is Akari Unryu. She knows who I am and what I am, and she still loves me. Can you talk to your bosses and get her here?"
"I... have no idea."
Ryouga sighed. "I didn't think so. I suppose you can't do anything about the Jusenkyo curse, either."
"I could give you a Thermos."
"I already have three. The water doesn't stay warm enough for more than an hour or two."
"Oh." After a moment, Epsilon said, "I might be able to do something about your lack of direction. Ryouga, have you ever heard of GPS?"
"Yes. They tried to arrest me for vagrancy."
Epsilon looked puzzled for a moment, then had a realization. "Not the Guelph Police Service. How did you get to Guelph, anyway? No, don't answer that. GPS as in Global Positioning System - a set of satellites and portable devices that help people find their way around."
"Like a map? I've never been good with maps."
"These devices tell you where to go."
"I'd like to tell Saotome where to go..."
"Not like that."
"I know, but I couldn't resist. I don't follow directions well, either. But it's funny..."
After a moment, Epsilon asked, "What's funny?"
Ryouga looked straight at Epsilon, thought for a moment, then said, "I end up going places I never thought I could get to, just by walking. And since we all came to your world, I've discovered that kami really exist. What if they're guiding me?"
"Using you as their agent, you mean?"
"Like that Sam Beckett guy seems to be in that TV show that that cute girl in New Brunswick mentioned."
"I didn't know you've been to New Brunswick, although I'm not surprised."
"I do get around, don't I? No, wait, it wasn't New Brunswick, it was the next town over."
Epsilon looked puzzled; New Brunswick, as far as he knew, was a province, not a city.
Ryouga didn't seem to notice. "Somerset, that was the place."
That town, Epsilon had heard of. "Do you happen to know the name of that girl?"
"Oh, yeah. She's named Yui. Or maybe Ui. No, that's her sister. Definitely Yui."
Of course, Epsilon thought.
"But now that I'm thinking about it, I'm starting to think that being a wandering Ally of Justice just might be what I'm destined to be. And if that is my purpose in life, all I really need from you and your bosses is a bed to sleep in once in a while and a place to keep my stuff."
"I think we can accommodate you. Literally."
"I got pretty much everything I want, Epsilon," Ranma said. "Except that Pops and Mr. Tendo keep pushing me to marry Akane."
"You don't want to marry Akane?"
"Not as long as I'm being forced into it. Oh, could you arrange for people to come by and challenge me? Not every day, or even every week, but I gotta keep my skills honed, and nobody here's good enough to do that any more."
Epsilon nodded. "I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything. If you want to work on your speed training, there are plenty of farms around that could use somebody to pick berries right now."
"That's not much of a challenge."
"It is if you don't want to squeeze the berries to pulp while picking them, and make them useless."
"I'll think about it. Oh, speaking of thinking," Ranma paused, looked around, didn't hear any comments from Ryouga, Mousse, his father, or Nabiki, and went on, "I got to the point where I was actually enjoying school. Can you sign me up for classes here?"
"I already promised Akane that I'd look into that. I'll add your name to the list."
"Thanks. Oh, and can you get Mousse to stop bugging me about Shampoo?"
Epsilon sighed. "You do know that the easiest way to solve that little problem is to convince Shampoo that you don't want her, right?"
"She ain't taking hints."
"Tell her outright."
"Can't do that. Honour's on the line."
"Whose honour? Yours, your family's, or hers?"
Ranma didn't have an answer for that.
"Tell our ungrateful children to hurry up and get married already," Genma said as Soun re-arranged the pieces on the shogi board.
"I think that that's something I should leave to their parents to do," Epsilon quickly replied. "I'm not part of their social circle."
That comment got him a couple of sour looks from said parents, but neither man said anything about it.
October 3, 2016
"Of course I want Ranma-honey as my husband. Our fathers made an agreement, and the Saotomes already took the dowry that the Kuonji family offered."
Epsilon thought for a moment. "What if they gave back the okonomiyaki cart? Or paid for it, with interest?"
Ukyo shook her head. "The only payment I'll take is Ranma. The Kuonji family has already made enough money that the loss of the cart isn't a financial issue. What it is is a matter of honor: He has to marry me, and then we work together in a okonomiyaki-ya."
"He is a martial artist, though. Do you think he'd be happy as a small-businessman?"
"Who cares? Honor says that that doesn't matter. Even you should be able to see it: If he marries anybody but me, I'm honor-bound to kill him and whoever he marries."
"Or die trying?"
"No, sugar, that isn't an option."
Epsilon knew a losing battle when he saw one. "Is there anything else, that isn't related to Ranma, that I can help you with?"
Ukyo thought for a moment. "I wouldn't mind going to school."
"Only one thing Shampoo need. Manager can help by hiring priest and booking wedding chapel for Shampoo and Ranma."
"Doesn't he have a say in the matter? You aren't in China any more, or even in your own universe; those laws don't matter any more."
"You say Shampoo not bound by laws of the Joketsuzoku now that she in this world. Shampoo say she and great-grandmother are last of the Joketsuzoku. Oh, and Mousse," she added dismissively. "That make it more-more important to keep old ways alive. Shampoo must marry airen. It matter of honor. Who care he not love Shampoo?"
So much for that idea, Epsilon thought. "I suspect he cares. And there's also the fact that he needs to be seen to sign a marriage licence, of his own free will. Other than getting Ranma, is there anything that I might be able to help you with?"
"No. Manager not fighter or cook, cannot train Shampoo."
"But I do know that there are other fighters and other cooks in other residences. Maybe some of them would be able to teach you."
"Shampoo think Shampoo train them, not other way around, maybe."
"As long as Shampoo is happy, I'm happy. Although using that word reminds me: Where is Happosai?"
"I think you're inviting trouble needlessly by asking that, Cologne."
"I think I'm being properly paranoid, Aaron. Everybody who lives in this building has a long-standing relationship with each of the other people here, except for you, our local guide. Happy is the only person who fits into our group who isn't here. And there's obviously a bed set aside for him in Soun's apartment. I don't believe in luck. Where is he?"
Epsilon thought for a moment. "I want to say you're wrong, but I can't believe that. I can ask around for what good it'll do."
"Thank you. Oh, there is something that you or your friends can help me with. Ever since we arrived here, Shampoo and Mousse have been deferring to me."
"Shampoo told me that she considers the three of you to be the last of the Joketsuzoku. Isn't it normal for her to defer to her village Elders?"
"Village elder? Me? I suppose that it might look that way from the outside because I'm so old, but I'm not in charge of anything there. If I was, they'd never let me go to Japan. No, I'm just an old woman who was enjoying her retirement until my great-granddaughter went and got herself cursed at Jusenkyo." Epsilon very carefully did not point out that Cologne had taken an active part in said cursing. "But that doesn't solve my current problem. Somebody needs to tell those two to stop."
"Ah," Epsilon pointed out, "you did just say that you wanted Shampoo to be happy."
"I did, didn't I? In that case, I need some lessons in leadership."
"Would some informal lessons work?"
"How informal?"
"The 'throw you into the deep end and let you learn from doing' level of informal, alongside some other people who are doing their best to lead their groups."
Cologne stared at Epsilon for a moment. "You're trying to get me to do some of your work for you, aren't you?"
"Not really. You'd be working beside me in the Advisory Board that the residence managers have set up to deal with things that are too big for one residence to deal with but too small to bring to the attention of the staff at Funtom."
"That sounds like something you should be doing, not me."
"I don't know what to look for in your group that would be a sign of a problem. You've know everybody else here for years."
She thought for a moment. "All right, you've got yourself a colleague. But I expect some actual on-the-job training in the role."
"I think that can be arranged."
"He didn't talk to you? I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"
Akane headed for the door, but stopped in surprise when Kasumi said, "Imouto-chan." Kasumi almost never called her that; she usually used her name. "You can't force him to like me."
"But why wouldn't he like you?"
"I don't know. Does it matter?"
"I think it matters."
Phantomhive Manor, County Kent, UK
October 9, 2016
Sebastian looked through the very first report filed from the Antigonish residence. Not bad. Somewhat sparse in details, though. He read through some of the longer entries, and wondered with a bit of trepidation about the entry for the Hibiki boy. If there actually was somebody on the Other Side using him as a cat's-paw, it bore investigating as to why. Quietly, so as not to upset the current agreement between the Daimakaichou and her equivalent in that blessed place.
He smiled at the mention that Shampoo wasn't speaking fluent English. This wasn't something to bring to the attention of that little debugger in Heaven, this was something that he would have done in the mortal's place. Smart mortal, playing to the stereotype and not revealing her fluency.
Then he reached the end of the report before he expected to. No, this won't do at all. We need full information. He took a sheet of paper from his desk and dashed off a hand-written note to be delivered in the next post:
Quote:"Mr. Peori,
The Transplanted Persons Services report that you filed is insufficient. The report on one of the Tendo sisters is woefully incomplete, and you failed to report on another of the Tendo sisters at all. Nobody told or forced you to begin this process, but since you did, you have to finish it. I expect a complete and updated report next week.
— Sebastian Michaelis,
Funtom Property Management
Then he made a copy of the report that he did have and composed a covering letter for it, addressed to Dr. Harold Shea in Vicksburg. For the sake of Lord Phantomhive's building-repair budget, something needed to be done about the personality conflicts in the Antigonish residence — the sooner, the better.
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 10, 2016
"So, you're back. Did your bosses tell you to do a better job of finding out what I want while I'm here?"
"They did," Epsilon admitted to Nabiki.
"I guessed this would happen as soon as you gave up without even trying to make a deal with me."
"I doubt I can afford your prices. But now that I've been told to do this, I can use company funds."
"Put your money away," Nabiki said, which astonished Epsilon. "I'll give you this one for free because it helps me get what I want: Not everything that's an asset can be measured by money."
"So why do you charge Ranma for every favour he asks from you?"
Nabiki laughed. "Because that's all he's got, besides his martial arts skills. And he was already beating up Kuno for free."
Epsilon thought for a moment. "If you tell me what you want while you're in Refuge, I might be able to help get it for you."
"That's the way to do it! Now, can you help me find a decent high school around here?"
"That depends on your definition of 'decent'."
"Some place with an International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme, if that's still a thing. I want to get into a good university with a good business program."
"The local high school offers IB Diplomas. I found that out when I got the enrolment forms for Ranma, Akane, and Ukyo."
"Well, then, help me with the paperwork and I'll get out of your hair."
"What little hair I have left," he muttered.
"Oh, you have more than Mr. Saotome does."
"Oh, my. I don't need anything, really."
"That wasn't what I asked, Ms. Tendo."
"I see." Kasumi wasn't happy about being kept at a formal social distance by her building manager, but she had no choice in the matter. "The harmony of the house is important to me; I would like to see it preserved as much as possible. I also hope that I am doing a good job helping to keep the building clean and the people living here fed."
Epsilon sighed deeply. "That is what everyone else here expects of you, Ms. Tendo. It still does not answer my question."
She thought for a moment, choosing her next words carefully so that she wouldn't annoy her landlord any further. The harmony of the house was important, after all. "I would very much like to continue my studies, and become a chiropractor. Does the university here offer courses in this field?"
"They do not."
"Then I see no way to further my studies. We don't have any money to send me to school in another city." After a moment with no reply from Epsilon, she continued, "I wouldn't mind a boyfriend. Oh, not you, of course, somebody closer to my own age. I used to think that I didn't want a boring boyfriend, but after seeing Ranma's life, some boredom looks attractive now."
"I can't help you with either of those things, Ms. Tendo."
"I know that, Mr. Peori. But you did ask, so I would be remiss if I failed to answer."
As he was getting ready for bed, Epsilon took a look at himself in his bathroom mirror and sighed. "So, Aaron... what do you want?"
--
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown