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2016-09-12 ff.: Vignettes
12-14-2024, 05:13 PM
There comes a time in every shared universe where the writers run out of stories that are ready to be posted.
Well, the KanriKyaraProject publishable-story buffer has run dry. (We have more, but nothing's ready to release yet.) Here are a few short scenes that even we couldn't turn into entire stories. Yet. Some of these are just for fun; others are canon for the setting... and we aren't going to tell you which is which until something is actually used in a story, nor do we guarantee that the ones that do happen will take place on the dates given here.
Vignettes
A collection of incidental bits, scenelets, short-shorts
and the occasional really bad joke
set in the world of KanriKyara
by Dartz, Rob Kelk, Brent Laabs and Robert M. Schroeck
Vignettes: 2016
September 2016
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada
Monday, September 12, 2016
Chris still hated Mondays.
Not quite as much as he had in the mid-1990s -- none of the full-fledged, berserker rage, must kill kind of hate he'd had for them in his youth (marriage and the passage of time had mellowed him somewhat over the past twenty years or so, after all) -- but even though he didn't have to make an 8:30 staff meeting any more, he still woke up on the day after Sunday expecting the worst.
He usually wasn't disappointed.
Still, this particular Monday hadn't been too bad, and he'd gotten through to dinnertime without too much in the way of a disaster. With work done, the odds of something going wrong went way down, and he could relax somewhat. His cooking repertoire had expanded somewhat over the past twenty years, but he still had his favorites. Pasta was one of them, and being as it was his turn to cook anyway, he had begun preparing a batch to celebrate getting through the start of another week.
When the black-haired girl erupted from the steaming pot, he was seized by a profound sense of "someone's screwing with me." That, and deja vu.
After all, he'd written this scene in 1996.
At least she didn't fall on top of him, scream, and hammer him into unconsciousness.
But what she did next was almost as disturbing. As he backed off warily, she slowly touched down onto the floor in front of the range, then bowed to him. "Christopher Angel," Skuld said -- and he could almost hear the unspoken "nii-chan!" behind his name -- "Heaven has need of you."
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
September 25, 2016
"Why do you need bicycles?"
"Because it's three and a half miles to the closest ice cream shop. Or to any place else to buy anything around here." Asuka Soryu sighed deeply. "All the places we could have ended up, and we get stuck in a bedroom community."
Harley Waters grinned. "That sounds to me like a reason to get a real bike, see more of the world than just the beach in our front yard."
"We're too young to get motorcycle licenses," Hikari Horaki pointed out.
"Aw, you'll grow out of that soon enough, like those girls who blew through here last week."
"But in the mean time..." Toji Suzuhara deliberately didn't finish his sentence.
Harley laughed. "Okay, okay, I know when I'm beat! I'll get you a few kiddie bikes tomorrow."
October 2016
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 1, 2016
"Hey, Alice, I think this page is about you!"
Alice Carroll looked, sighed, and told herself yet again that blindly clicking on links Tomo Takino sent her was a mega bad idea.
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 4, 2016
"Is there any chance you could teach me to drive?"
Brent Laabs looked sideways at Tomo Takino. "Why do you want to learn?"
"In case I'm on a bus, and there's a bomb on the bus that'll go off if the bus drops below 50, and the driver gets shot, and ..."
"That was a movie!"
"And I'm from a TV show. What's your point?"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 8, 2016
"Will the three of you listen to yourselves?" Rei Hino finally complained. "Boys, boys, boys, nothing but boys! Haven't you ever heard of the Bechdel test?"
"Do we look like fictional characters?" Minako Aino shot back.
"Up until last month," Ami Mizuno interrupted, "we were fictional characters. At least we were here."
"I still think I'm a real person," Usagi Tsukino muttered.
Maison d'Orléans
Orléans, Loiret department, France
October 9, 2016
« Touché,» Jehanne admitted ruefully, stepping back and lowering her sabre.
"Halt," Adrien, acting as referee, called. "Bout to Marinette."
"For once," the young Frenchwoman said with a grin as she pulled off her mask. She stepped forward and held out her hand. Jehanne, her own mask now off, smiled and shook it, then ran the fingers of her free hand through her dark, sweat-dampened hair.
"Well fought, my friend," she said.
"Thank you," Marinette acknowledged. "You've adapted well to fencing." Together they left the long, narrow rectangle of white paint in the middle of the residence parking lot which served as a makeshift piste, joining Adrien where he stood to one side.
Jehanne grinned at her younger friend. "In truth, I did not think I would do as well as I have. I may have worn a sword into battle, but I can count the number of times I actually drew it on the fingers of one hand. That I can not only hold my own against either one of you, but prevail more often than not, is a wonder to me."
"You are a natural at the arts of war, ma petite," a rich tenor voice said from behind her; Adrien and Marinette's eyes widened, and Jehanne turned about to see her patron stepping out of a shimmer of light that she was certain led to the Heavenly realms. Another figure, obscured by the brilliant light, followed him.
« Grand frère Michel!» she cried happily.
"This is why I have chosen you and your counterparts time and time again across the many universes," the archangel continued as he embraced her. "How do you fare, ma petite soeur?"
She stepped back and wrinkled her nose at him. "As you should know, since you ask me every day, I fare well. My tutors assure me that I am progressing quickly, and ere my reading improves enough, I shall be able to join my new friends at their 'high school'. And I continue to learn how to comport myself in this era."
Marinette shared a grin with Adrien. "She hasn't attacked a car in superstitious dread in almost a week!" she giggled.
Jehanne spun on her friend and held up a forefinger. "Once! Once only was I surprised and reacted badly!"
Marinette took her hand with a gentle smile. "I know, I know. I'm only teasing."
"Its operator should never have been given a license," Jehanne huffed, then shrugged and smiled. "And in truth I did grow familiar with automobiles during my first visit to this time."
Adrien snorted. "Jehanne, how often do we have to tell you? 1989 is not 'this time'."
She crossed her arms and scowled at him. "From whence I came? Then and now may as well be two days in the same week."
"She does have a point," Marinette admitted with grin. "Just like every other time you've had this little discussion." Adrien stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed.
Michael laughed, too, and laid a hand on Jehanne's shoulder. "It gladdens my heart to hear that you continue to do well, except for the occasional automobile," he said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Not you, too," she moaned in mock despair.
"But to help you to adapt even better to this our Refuge," he continued gently, "I have brought someone to meet you."
He stepped aside and the figure behind him resolved into an attractive red-haired woman, lithe and fit, taller than Jehanne by at least ten centimeters, and dressed in a men's dress shirt, jeans, and running shoes, all brilliantly white. She stepped forward with a broad smile upon her face and planted one fist on her hip. "Hello, Jehanne la Pucelle," she said. "I, too, am Jehanne la Pucelle."
"Who better to aid and advise you," Michael said, "than your counterpart from this universe?"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 12, 2016
Rob Donaldson walked into the common room to hear Minako say, "Not a Brazilian, I hope."
"By now, I really should know better than to ask, but what are you talking about?"
"Oh, hi, Rob! Usagi's new job in the primate pen at the zoo."
He couldn't figure out what she meant. "There's no zoo in Ottawa."
"Ami said she's waxing gibbons," Minako explained.
Ami sighed deeply. "No, I said, 'The Moon is waxing gibbous'." [1]
Chicago, Illinois, USA
October 14, 2016
"Whatever happened to us yesterday wasn't time travel," Rally Vincent commented. "We're definitely not in our home world."
"How do you figure that, Rally?" asked Bean Bandit around big bites of burgers, not really caring but willing to humor his sometimes-partner.
"When I went to renew my license this morning, they told me that bounty hunting's illegal here. Even if you get a license out-of-state."
"That's a shame," May Hopkins commented. "It's been three decades. When did they change the law?"
"That's how I know we're in a different world. They changed it in 1963."
May's eyebrows headed for her forehead. "But that's before I was born!"
"Huh," Bean grunted. "So we're not home. Any idea how to find out where we are?"
"Not a clue. Right now, I'm more worried about how to earn a living. Burgers aren't free."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 16, 2016
While looking at Makoto clearing the lunch dishes, Minako asked, "Do we need a rota?"
Mii had no idea what Minako meant. "A what?"
"A rota. You know, to keep track of the hoovering, and tossing the bins, and putting the kettle on after class."
"The what, the what, and the what?" Usagi asked, just as perplexed as Mii.
Rob smiled. "I think Mako-chan has the scran covered. But a rota for the rest would be boss."
"He's as bad as she is," Kuroko muttered.
Minako was puzzled for a short moment as well, until she realized what he was saying. "That's Scouse, Mr. Donaldson, not RP."
"So I'm a Beatles fan and I've seen a few episodes of Corrie Street. Everything's sound."
Rei finally exploded. "Will the two of you please tell us what you're talking about!"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
October 16, 2016
"Why is it so hot?"
"Oh, that's because of the Santa Ana winds," Brent answered Tomo.
Osaka looked puzzled. "But we aren't in Santa Ana."
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
October 20, 2016
"Midchildan computers are the only ones with both spell-check and spelling-check."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 21, 2016
Ami, still looking for costume ideas for the upcoming Halloween party, looked up from her computer screen. "Oh, dear. It appears that Pretty Cure isn't a medical drama."
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
October 22, 2016, during the events of Fuku'ing With His Head
"He reminds me of my sempai," Makoto Kino said as she watched Ryouga Hibiki head toward the road.
"He does?"
"Yeah -- he's clueless and he's walking away from me."
November 2016
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 2, 2016
"I just noticed," Mamoru Chiba commented. "You stock tampons in the common room's washroom."
"That's right," Rob replied. "A majority of the residents here are teenage girls with metahuman combat powers. Do you want to tell them they have to do without until they get back to their apartments?"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 5, 2016
Yomi Mizuhara's curiosity had finally reached the point where it had to be satisfied. She walked over to her roommate and said, "You've been staring at that screen for five minutes now. And you're not watching a movie. Just what is it that you're doing?"
Without looking up, Tomo replied, "We're making characters so we can play City of Heroes with the folks in New Jersey, but I'm stuck on a name for mine."
"That's a supers game, right? Call your character 'The Attractive Nuisance'."
Tomo looked sideways at Yomi. "Is that some sort of joke only lawyers would get?"
"You finally noticed!"
"At least you think I'm attractive... sweetling." [2]
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud
Montréal, QC, Canada
November 6, 2016
"Rin," Saber asked, "Why are you calling Sailor Moon 'the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on'?"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 11, 2016
Yui looked over Shinji's cello a second time. Puzzled, she asked, "Where do you plug it in?"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 12, 2016
"Sooooo," Ritsu vaulted the couch and dropped down next to Yui. "I hear you went on a date with Shinji Ikari." She grinned and nudged Yui with the closest elbow. "Goin' after a younger man, eh, Mrs. Robinson?"
Mio rolled her eyes. "I knew it was a mistake watching The Graduate last Friday," she muttered. Then she added, "Still, Yui, it seems improper for you to get involved with a high schooler."
"Nah," Ritsu said. "We know he likes mature women -- you see how he looks at Misato in their anime? I bet he couldn't keep his hands off our Yui."
Azusa sniffed disapprovingly. "I agree with Mio. It's not right. You're in college, and he's, what, not even fifteen?"
Yui suddenly lunged at Azusa and took her hands in hers. "Oh, don't be jealous, Azu-nyan -- you know you're the only one for me." Azusa blushed and yanked her hands free as Yui blithely went on. "It wasn't like that, anyway. He just seemed so sad, you know? When we were done with the session I just wanted to cheer him up a little before he had to go back to Florida. It doesn't seem like he does anything for fun with anyone there." She shrugged. "So I took him to Thomas Sweet for a blend-in, and there was a flier there about a cello recital at Mason Gross, so we decided to go. And it worked!" Her entire face seemed to light up. "He had such a good time, and he was so happy! We were laughing and talking all the way back here. And I gave him a hug and little kiss on the cheek to let him know that I had a good time, too." Yui's expression grew pensive. "He's nice, he just needs more friends."
Somewhere in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 12, 2016
"Your website does say that members are allowed to throw their own weapons."
"It does, but we expected people to bring in knives or axes. That's a rose."
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 15, 2016
"I saw her use the card, and I realized, whoa, magic is real!" Tomo enthused.
"Sure seems that way," Yomi agreed.
"So, hold my beer and watch this!" Tomo passed Yomi a bottle of Ramune.
"Oh boy."
Tomo raised her arms dramatically towards the ocean, and began chanting, "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood -- guh!"
Yomi whapped Tomo on the head, hard. "For crying out loud, no evil magic!"
"Waaaa that hurt."
"I don't want you summoning an Elder God. If magic is real and fiction is real: just have some goddamn sense Tomo!"
Tomo mumbled, "Elder God. That spell wouldn't even work unless Shabra—"
"Huh?"
"Maybe that was a dumb idea," Tomo blushed.
Yomi stared down at Tomo and blinked a couple of times, entirely taken aback. About ten seconds later, "Of course it was a dumb idea. Geez."
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 16, 2016
"I want to see if I can talk them down on the price of a fur coat," Tomo said.
Brent looked at her incredulously. "You want to visit Dicker and Dicker ... to dicker?"
"Why not?" Tomo was surprised that Sonomi of all people would take her side. "Never pay the list price for a luxury item."
"Besides, it's in their name, so we have to!"
Brent decided that quoting John McClane was the best course of action. "Fine, fine, whatever. As long as you can afford it."
"I was hoping you'd pay for it."
"We're still buying fridges and stoves for the apartments. Buy your own coat."
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
November 17, 2016
"That's a mighty fine tail you have there, young man. Some variety of feline?"
Sun Wukong blinked and stared at the shopkeeper for a moment. "Um, no, monkey."
"You don't say! I'd've never guessed from the coloration." The old man nodded assessingly. "Must come in handy."
Sun's stare slowly morphed into a broad smile. "It certainly does! It's prehensile, and strong enough that I can hang from it."
The shopkeeper shook his head and chuckled. "And I suppose you can climb like the dickens, too. What I wouldn't give for somethin' like that. Would make tendin' my shop a sight easier."
Later, when Sun walked out of the store in a visible state of shock, the others clustered around him. "You okay, Sun?" Yang Xiao Long asked.
"The shopkeeper..." Sun began.
"Did he do anything?" Ruby Rose demanded, eyes narrowing.
Sun turned wondering eyes on all his companions. "He... he talked. Actual words and sentences, not just grunts. And he wished he had a faunus trait like mine!"
Ruby pivoted and studied the storefront. "Wow," she whispered.
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
November 18. 2016
Bob Schroeck was surprised to see Yui Hirasawa in the community center on a Friday afternoon; he expected that she'd be doing her homework at home. Noticing she was wearing headphones but not playing Gīta, he asked, "What are you listening to?"
She looked up while taking her headphones off. "I think it's a song about somebody asking my little sister out on a date." She switched on the stereo's speakers.
Bob listened for a moment, then said, "Considering that song was written in 1959, I doubt it's about your sister." Enunciating carefully, he continued, "Besides, he's saying 'oo-ee', not 'Ui'."
The Old Dietmeier Place
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
November 26, 2016
"Good night, Jaune-boy."
"Good night, Ruby."
"Good night, Jaune-boy."
"Good night, Nora."
"Good night, Jaune-boy!"
"Good night, Yang..." he said through clenched teeth.
Kris turned to Eleanor. "I don't think you should've shown them The Waltons, mom."
The Anything Goes Cafe
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
November 27, 2016
"I don't like hitting girls."
Mii Konori grinned at Ranma Saotome. "So I get a free shot at you?"
"Hell, no!"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 30, 2016
"Sugar and spice and everything mice!" Minako declared.
"That's what little catgirls are made of!" Diana chimed in.
December 2016
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
December 4, 2016
"Taeko, you don't need to add chocolate to these. They're already chocolate habaneros."
"Oh, okay. I'll use them today, then. Thanks, Yomi!"
"Happy to help."
As she walked away from the kitchen and Taeko Minazuki, Yomi Mizuhara grinned. Dinner was going to be fun.
Washuu's Lab
December 12, 2016
Hayate Yagami stood up and, for the first time in years, took a step forward without Reinforce's assistance.
Her smile lit up the room.
Then she fell over.
Sasami grabbed her before she fell onto the floor. Hayate frowned and said, "I guess I'm a little out of practice."
"That's all right. I'll help you get used to having working legs again."
Washuu almost told Sasami that Hayate's strength would be returning quickly, but she changed her mind. Better for the two girls to have this reason to become friends, and to learn that it's all right to need to rely on somebody else or be there for somebody else to rely on her.
Residence 51
Idaho Springs, Colorado, USA
December 15, 2016
"Rhiannon, I don't know whether this will stop me from getting angry," David Banner said while looking at the spliff that she'd given him. "Besides, isn't this illegal?"
"Not in Colorado," she replied.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 19, 2016
The elementary and high-school students were all in classes, Accelerator and Hyoga were doing the tourist thing downtown, and Maika and Mamoru were out buying groceries. It was just Rob, Ami, Mii, Chibiusa, and Last Order in the building, enjoying a rare day off.
"Anybody want to do anything special?" asked Rob.
Mii looked at the youngsters and thought better than to say anything. Chibiusa and the youngest Misaka Sister shook their heads.
"I promised Skuld I'd teach her how to play chess," Ami replied while grabbing her coat.
"Ah. Have fun!"
Fifteen minutes later, when he was back in his own apartment, Rob remembered Skuld was a Valkyrie as well as a Norn.
He couldn't sleep at all that night.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 26, 2016
"You will be learning from Ms. Shirai how to control the Sailor Teleport to pinpoint accuracy, and she will be learning from you how to extend her range."
"That's work. What do we get out of it?"
Rob rolled his eyes at Usagi's question, then had an idea. "Remember when Rui-chan, Mako-chan, and I went up north for a week? Remember that really good cream soda that we brought back with us? Wouldn't you like to be able to go buy some whenever you want without needing a six-hour drive each way?"
Usagi thought for a moment, then grinned. "When do we start the lessons?"
Colonnade Pizza, Bank St
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
December 27, 2016
"Rob-oji and Hyoga told us that they've been to the gates of Hel, but I have trouble believing in an afterlife."
"Well, yeah," Mikoto Misaka agreed with Kuroko Shirai as she helped herself to a second slice of pizza. "An Academy City education doesn't prepare us for the supernatural."
"Despite the fact that we're all espers," Ruiko Saten pointed out.
"I meant magical supernatural, Saten-san. You know how Belldandy can't lie, right? So we could get her to confirm whether there's an afterlife by asking her to sing Prince's 'Let’s Go Crazy'."
"How'd you hear that old song?"
"My mother likes it."
Kazari Uiharu shook her head as she swallowed the bite she'd been eating. "It won't work. First, you're assuming she's allowed to tell us anything about what happens after death. She could just refuse to sing any songs about Heaven. Second, you're assuming she isn't lying when she says she can't lie; we haven't independently confirmed that."
Kuroko frowned. "Uiharu-san, why do you have to be right about this?"
- RK: Just think, in a week it'll be raining gibbons... er, waning gibbous.
- RMS: DYO!
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RE: 2016-09-12 ff.: Vignettes
01-20-2025, 05:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-22-2025, 07:37 PM by Bob Schroeck.)
Chapter 2: Vignettes 2017
January 2017
San Francisco, California, USA
January 5, 2017
"But how can you be Satan, the Prince of Lies? You're a woman."
She dropped the sexy act, and said resolutely, "Girls can be princes, too!"
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
January 6, 2017
"What's wrong, Alph? Did Fate fall into a well?"
The familiar growled, then snarled, "I'll kick you into the well if you keep that up!"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
January 7, 2017
"Tomoyo-chan, I doubt Index wants all those frills. This is a religious garment. You wouldn't put frills on a miko's outfit, would you?" She didn't answer right away, and he realized she was actually considering the idea.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
January 9, 2017
As Rob headed for the common room for a coffee, he noticed the person standing at the door to the apartment farthest from his office on that floor. He also recognized the person. "Hello, Milord Hermes. They aren't home. Usagi and Chibiusa are at school, and Mamoru's busy with a part-time job."
"Would you be able to sign for a delivery, then, Mr. Donaldson?" Suddenly there was a crate sitting beside the messenger god.
"Sure, I can do that, but I'll need to know what I'm signing for." He walked to the end of the hall and looked at the bill of lading. "One crate, from Peorth, contents... twenty-four dozen roses?"
"It's quite accurate, I assure you."
Rob chuckled as he signed the receipt. "You know, this explains so much."
School cafeteria, Glebe Collegiate
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
January 13, 2017
Makoto looked at their new friend's packed lunch. "Soy milk? I know you aren't a vegetarian after what you had for lunch yesterday."
"You're right," Mimi replied. "I'm Korean. We can't handle lactose."
"You can't have ice cream?" Usagi looked sad. "You are missing so much. Oh, if you ever come with us to New Jersey, don't let Yui buy you a blend-in."
"Is a blend-in something out of an anime?"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
January 13, 2017
"My Brother! I've been reading this fan fiction that our landlord wrote before we arrived!"
Kazuki Sendo sighed - his friend Taishi Kuhonbutsu was in full "large ham" mode, which meant he had either an Idea or a Problem. And Taishi had cornered him in the common lounge with other residents watching - at least, they were watching now, after Taishi's grand entrance - so Kazuki couldn't just leave. And Taishi had a sheaf of pages in his hands. "I'm almost afraid to ask, Taishi. Is it any good?"
Taishi held up the printout to emphasize its existence. "It's an excellent work! But not perfect! Do you know what it needs?"
"More cowbell?"
Everybody turned to glare at Ritsu Tainaka. "No!" Taishi exclaimed.
"Oh, sure, hate on the drummer," Ritsu grumbled. Sumire, Ayame, and Russel sighed in sympathy with their fellow percussionist.
"It needs to be turned into a doujin!"
Kazuki looked at the printout in Taishi's hand - the very thick printout. "Unless there's only one word on each of those pages, that isn't a doujin. That's an entire series."
"You can edit it down!"
Kazuki frowned - he had his own stories to tell. " You edit it down. See how easy that is."
"I will!" replied Taishi, just before turning and racing for the door. "I ... shall ... return!"
As the door closed behind him, Ritsu muttered, "Take your time, you blowhard." Then she turned to Kazuki and asked, "Has he ever edited a story before?"
"Not as far as I know."
"I'm beginning to see why you dread your best friend's visits."
"He isn't my best friend," Kazuki muttered in response.
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
January 15, 2017
"Okay, I know the answer is probably one of those 'beyond the ken of mortal men' things, but I have to ask anyway..."
Urd blurted, "I don't mind telling you my three sizes."
While Brent thought of a half-dozen things to say in reply, Osaka of all people asked, "So, what happens when we die, Urd-sama?"
"He's right; it's complicated stuff. Too complicated to explain to mortals like you."
Brent elaborated, "She doesn't want to tell you that Xenu sucks your soul up into his spaceship."
"Oh man, that asshole!" Urd grumbled in reminiscence. "I'm glad he's long gone. After he took out the Thetans, he attacked the Cthugua, and with typical Cthuguan overkill they turned him and his fleet to ashes."
Brent uttered, "Um..."
"Oh sorry, I meant to say that death is a divine mystery for each one of you to discover on your own."
Residence 51
Idaho Springs, Colorado, USA
January 16, 2017
"Hello, Artemis and Luna of the Mau. Welcome to this facility's garage."
They looked around, seeing nobody else in the room. "Who said that?"
"I did. I am the Knight Industries Two Thousand, an autonomous automobile designed to assist in law-enforcement activities. Most people call me KITT."
The two mooncats looked surprised. "Talking car! Talking car!"
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
January 17, 2017
"I'm never going to get my Indigo Girls CD back from Kaorin, am I?" Brent lamented.
"They've gone the way of my Tegan and Sara CDs, Brent," Rob replied while thinking of Kuroko.
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
January 21, 2017
After the final drum hit, [1] Ritsu suddenly dropped her drumsticks and bellowed, "I've got blisters on my fingers!"
Instantly, Yui was at her side. "Ricchan! Oh no! Let me get you some band-aids!"
Ritsu grinned at her and held up her unmarked hands. "Oh, I don't really have blisters. It's just traditional for drummers to yell that."
Mio rolled her eyes. "Idiot."
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud, Montreal, QC, Canada
January 21, 2017
"Heroic Spirits, Sweets Spirits, and now an actual ghost," Cassiopée said to herself. "Nobody warned me that I'd be administering a haunted building."
Online
January 29, 2017
WASHUU_HAKUBI> What's the difference between "super science" and every other science that I do?
TOMO_TAKINO> The cape.
MINAKO_AINO> No capes!!!
Federal Bureau of Investigation headquarters, J. Edgar Hoover Building
Washington, DC, USA
January 30, 2017
Fox Mulder picked up the latest police report and read a paragraph from it. "'Dashboard camera footage shows that the victims' car was run off the road by two Ford F-150 pickup trucks. The drivers of the trucks then got out of their vehicles and shot both victims, claiming that this was the treatment that they thought a mixed-race couple deserved. The shooters then returned to their vehicles and left the scene of the crime. Three minutes after that, a group of nine motorcyclists dressed in black and riding black Harley-Davidson Softail motorcycles stopped at the scene, without dismounting from their motorcycles. The female victim asked for their help, succumbing to her wounds while doing so. One of the riders looked at the dashboard camera for exactly a half minute, withdrew what appeared to be a hunting horn from his pocket, and sounded a single note on the horn. All nine of the riders then drove off in the same direction as the shooters. The bodies of the shooters were discovered in the burnt-out shells of their trucks the following morning.'"
"What makes this an X-File, Mulder?"
"Isn't it obvious, Scully? The riders knew who to go after without having seen the dashcam footage. How could they do that without paranormal powers of some sort?"
Dana frowned. "If you're right, then there's a group of metahuman vigilantes out there."
February 2017
Online
February 2, 2017
To: Niiko Misaka, Kokoro Misaka, Rei Misaka, Frenda Seivelun, Pyrrha Nikos, Mahoro Ando
From: Nana Misaka
Subject: You are invited to join the Spared by the Adaptation Society
Hello everyone, Nana Misaka types.
Like all of you, I was doomed to die in what some of our landlords call our original stories. (Although I admit that I was given a year to live instead of being killed off directly.) Like all of you, I'm still alive here. And like all of you, I'm not planning on dying any time soon, Nana types with conviction.
You are all invited to become charter members of the Spared by the Adaptation Society. Activities are planned to include supporting each other as we work through survivor guilt, getting together for tea, and going out and having fun together. If there's anything else you want the Spared by the Adaptation Society to do, now is the time to mention it, Nana suggests.
I look forward to receiving your reply, Nana types, looking forward to receiving replies.
Nana Misaka
misaka13577@blossom.displacees.yggdrasil
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
February 3, 2017
One entire wall of Yui Hirasawa's room was covered in (safe-for-work) K-On! fan art which she found on the Internet and printed out.
And then somebody snuck in and ran coloured strings between the pictures...
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
February 5, 2017
Mio turned to the other members of Hokago Tea Time. "Should we play 'Pure Pure Heart' for our guests?"
"I'd rather you pick something else," replied Mimi Hanyu. "I lost track of how many Pure Hearts I tried to steal when I was Mimete."
Glynn's Wellington House
Dorset Street Upper
Dublin, Ireland
February 9, 2017
"They created us and gave us the ability to understand what we were, and what they were doing to us. We were built to know we were slaves, and to know what it meant - we were built to feel the power they had over us. We were built just so they could do things to us that they couldn't get away with doing to other human beings."
Meg took a long drink, then continued talking to Sam. "But You can't have a toy that stays broken. They built us to take it, to break, then to wake up the next day as if nothing ever happened, fresh to be broken again. And I realised, after a while, that we didn't have to be afraid of them - not really. Because they couldn't really hurt us. They built us to take them at their worst. We don't have to be scared at night, or alone."
"But everything they did to us - everything they built us to take - they'd do to real people too if they thought they could get away with it. And, you know what, there are many out there who can, and who do. That's why I hate them."
Hell
February 14, 2017
The demon didn't dare look at Hild's face.
"Oh, don't misunderstand me. Few things would give me greater pleasure than corrupting those cute little girls. Oh, the things they would do, especially with those hormones running rampant~. The pleasures of the flesh and the vices they inspire are such an alluring call to adolescents~. But this is not the time for that. This universe is threatening to tear itself to pieces, and if we want to profit from this universe, then we must take any and all measures to ensure it survives! And that means that with the exception of contracting wishes with our Apartment Managers and select Displacees, our regular operations are suspended until further notice.
"But you thought you were special. You thought you could get a leg up on the competition by disregarding orders. However, the fact of the matter is that you're nothing special at all. You were caught. By my own daughter, at that! And everyone knows just how hard I've been working at getting Urd to acknowledge me as her mother. But your actions have further soured my relations with her! And that is why I'm afraid that I will have to make an example out of you~. Don't worry - you'll survive~. But you will certain wish that you didn't~. Prepare yourself~."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
February 18, 2017
"My name is Lotte Lieze, I'll be your instructor in unarmed combat while my sister Aria is busy teaching magic to your apartment-mate Mimi. I understand that one of you is a complete novice, so we'll start with one of the hardest things in martial arts: falling."
Rob sighed. In a monotone that rivalled the best that the Misaka sisters used, he provided the line that he knew was expected of him: "But, sensei, there isn't anything hard about falling."
With matching grins, Lotte, Shiage, Makoto, and Mii replied in unison, "Sure there is! It's called 'the ground'!"
"You three have been spending too much time in New Jersey, you know that." He turned to Shiage. "I don't know what your excuse is for taking part in that joke."
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
February 24, 2017
"Oh, Bob," Belldandy said. "Before I forget... we made sure Doug got home safely."
Bob blinked. "Doug... Sangnoir?" he finally managed to get out after working his mouth several times.
Belldandy nodded. "Yes. And we're doing our best to ensure that the Warriors' World timeline is protected." She smiled benevolently. "After all, it is of special importance to the Stormsdaughter."
Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Canada
February 25, 2017
After watching Akane for a few more minutes, Sasami raised her hand in a "stop" gesture. "Excuse me, Tendo-san, but I can't help noticing you approach everything as if it's a martial art. You've picked the wrong martial art for the kitchen. You don't want kempo here; you want Tai Chi."
March 2017
Online
March 18, 2017
"In that case," Kris continued, "I move that we appoint Serena..."
"Usagi," Usagi interrupted.
Kris blinked. "I'm sorry?"
"My name," she slowly and patiently explained, "is Usagi, as I've told you several times now. 'Serena' is a dim-witted doppelganger who exists only in a bad English dub of the anime I appear in. Stop calling me that!"
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
March 20, 2017
"I'm thinking of putting some hanging planters in my apartment. Maybe in my bedroom."
Kuroko looked up from her own dinner and asked, "Makoto, have you ever heard the phrase 'Oh John Ringo no'?"
The taller girl looked puzzled. "Should I have?"
"I suppose not. But trust me – no hanging planters in your bedroom."
The Penthouse
Classified location, USA
March 20, 2017
"Good afternoon, Miss Dancer and Mrs. Peel. Your mission, should you choose to accept it," a smile played at the corner of Alexander Waverly's mouth as he quoted a show they all knew, "is to courier a classified dossier to 'White Pigeon' in Atlanta."
April Dancer frowned. "That isn't much of a mission, Mr. Waverly; you could do that by computer nowadays. Who are we serving as a distraction for?"
"You don't need to know that."
"Why the two of us?" Emma Peel asked. "We don't usually work together."
"That, I can tell you. Mark Slate and John Steed are on leave in London this week."
April smiled. "So we're distracting people from noticing Solo and Kuryakin."
"I'll pretend I didn't hear my temporary partner say that," Mrs. Peel said before their boss could react. "And I'll teach her how to enjoy missions like this one." Turning to April, she added, "We'll need to visit the Grand Imperial Theatre anyway; pack your best evening dress."
"And an U.N.C.L.E. Special, of course," the other woman agreed.
Mr. Waverly sighed deeply. Why did he have to work with female agents?
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
March 31, 2017
Rob looked at some photos from Australia again, then decided to bring them to the attention of one of his residents. "Mikoto-san, have you ever heard of something called 'gigantic jet lightning'?"
Railgun turned to her landlord, grinned, and replied, "Hold my juice and watch this."
April 2017
Gulfside Rest
Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
April 1, 2017
A furious Asuka stormed into the communal living room in apartment 3 waving a sheet of paper.
"Who the hell left this on my bed?" she demanded.
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
April 15, 2017
Lindy looked her straight in the eyes. "Konori-san, when I was your age, I was married and pregnant with my son Chrono. You have a rare metahuman ability; why are you waiting to pass it along to the next generation?"
"Because I'm not from a world where teenaged pregnancy is considered to be a good thing," the 16-year-old esper replied to the TSAB admiral.
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
April 21, 2017
"I finally saw how Aeka and Sasami write their family name, Jurai," Hyoga said over dinner. "It's possible to read the kanji as 'lightning tree'."
"What, really?" Makoto asked with sudden interest. "I wonder whether we have a connection."
Venice Beach, California, USA
April 30, 2017
Sora Naegino said cheerfully, "Let me introduce you all to Mr. Policeman."
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Policeman!" said Akari Mizunashi, without even a trace of sarcasm.
May 2017
Buena Vista Park
San Francisco, California, USA
May 6, 2017
"Grant me the power to bring the world revolution!"
"Did somebody call me?" Sailor Saturn asked.
The Steeple
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA
May 7, 2017
"The first thing you learn when you use a blade is that it can be taken away from you."
Makoto Kino sighed as she looked at the tanto that she had been given after she fought a Predator. Then she looked at Miyuki Takamachi. "Are you saying it's a bad idea to rely on a weapon?"
"No, I'm asking whether you know how to take it back after it's taken away from you." After Makoto shook her head, Miyuki continued, "I thought so. When worse comes to worst and it comes time to kill somebody, weapons are tools, and you need to keep track of your tools. So my brother and I are going to start by teaching you techniques from Yagyū Shinkage Ryū to take a blade away from its current wielder."
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
May 14, 2017
Mimi nodded. "Good, good... Can you hold that last syllable for two seconds?"
Azusa did so, then smiled. She'd finally sung Nao's new song without any mistakes, albeit with some help from two of their visitors from Ottawa. But she'd watched reruns of Sailor Moon when she was younger; she knew from episode 114 that they were both better singers than she was.
"Now all you need to do is sing while you're playing, and Bob's your uncle," Minako added with a smile of her own.
Azusa looked puzzled. "No, Bob's my landlord."
Residence 51[2]
May 17, 2017
"I just got my nails done at the Salon East Beauty Parlor."
"Your hands smell like dish-washing liquid."
June 2017
The Old Dietmeier Place
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
June 11, 2017
Yui looped her arm through Jaune's. "It's like I always say -- a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."
Jaune laughed. "My mom says the same thing!"
"Well, she's right," Yui declared confidently.
Chicago, Illinois, USA
June 20, 2017
Elwood grabbed the Bluesmobile's steering wheel. "They can't stop us. We're on a mission from Urd."
The Old Dietmeier Place
Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, USA
June 23, 2017
"She's a Norse goddess."
"What? Who's Nora's goddess?" Ruby asked distractedly while concentrating more on the plate of cookies in the room.
July 2017
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
July 6, 2017
After a long, difficult day liaising with his CIA contacts in D.C., Artemis plunked down into a chair and muttered sarcastically, "Well, hasn't today been all beer and skittles." A moment later, and without turning around, he added, "Put the bag of candy down, Minako."
She did so, reluctantly.
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
July 7, 2017
It must have been magic that kept the earliest letters intact until the last letter was written in the sky:
"Surrender Dorthy"
Ange turned to her long-time partner. "How do they even know that you're here?"
Dorothy replied, "I don't know and I don't care. They spelled my name wrong."
Near the east end of New York State Route 206, New York State, USA
July 9, 2017
"You and your bright ideas. 'Let's drive to Ottawa instead of taking a portal'."
"I'm sorry..." Subaru apologized through her tears. "I thought it would be fun to see the country."
Yuu glared at Eimi. "Good going, Oba-ka. Now she's going to cry for the rest of the trip."
"Don't call me that!"
Meanwhile, Kazuki was desperately trying to figure out where they were. "I know what the sign says, but there isn't any place named Agloe on this map."
"Well, it's here..." Taishi pointed at the "Agloe General Store" sign. Ignoring all of the evidence he'd heard about people and things appearing in Refuge, he added, "It's not as if an entire town could suddenly come into existence. Are you sure you have the right map?"
Castle Pueblo
Los Lunas, New Mexico, USA
July 14, 2017
" Mo~om! Phineas and Ferb are taking part in a Mega Crossover fanfic!"
"So are we, Candace. Just calm down."
"Sorry. Force of habit."
Venice Beach, California, USA
July 21, 2017
Yomi pulled her bike off of the beach path onto the grassy side, and over towards a pair of redheads. One of them was practicing doing flips and handstands, but the other was just sitting and staring — not out to the ocean, but instead at a blank page in a spiral notepad. "Still can't come up with the next act of the show?"
Mia sighed.
"That bad, eh?"
"What's the point of coming to another universe if the critics here already know the entire Kaleido Stage repertoire?"
Yomi thought about launching into a discussion of malleable continuity, but decided against it. Mia had read her book, after all. "I don't think there is a point, Mia."
Mia sighed again. "You have any bright ideas for an act?"
"I don't know. How about... 'The Burning Woman Hurling Through The Air With Dynamite In Her Hair Over Sharks And Spiky Objects, Caught By The Man Locked In The Cage'." [3]
Mia declined, "Yeah, no, I don't think we're going to use that."
"Yeah, we did that already back in the Black Moon Circus," Bess chimed in. "Way too derivative." [4]
Yomi and Mia both glared at Bess.
"What, do I have something on my face?" she said defensively.
August 2017
San Francisco, California, USA
August 7, 2017
"Diana, Mimi, and Chibi-Usa are playing in the park with Pugsley and Wednesday."
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
August 13, 2017
"If you look up 'genki' in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Sakura."
Rob grinned as he reached for and opened his copy of The Anime Companion. "True, but it has to be a very specialized dictionary." He showed them the page.
"Hoeee..."
The Muppet Theatre
New York, New York, USA
August 15, 2017
Scooter darted up to Kermit's side and without preamble breathlessly asked, "Kermit, would you say we were an off-Broadway theater?"
Exasperated, Kermit replied, "Scooter, if we were any further off Broadway, we'd be in the Hudson." He paused, and peered suspiciously at his gofer. "Why?"
Scooter took a deep breath. "Because we're not off-Broadway anymore."
Castle Pueblo
Los Lunas, New Mexico, USA
August 17, 2017
"'Ami Mizuno, super genius'. I like the sound of that."
Her canine collaborator held up a sign in one furred hand. "I did, too..."
September 2017
Kaleido Stage
Venice Beach, California, USA
September 2, 2017
"It's decided: I’m going to become a Kaleido Starfish! Everyone will be so impressed with my tentacular performance that they'll inkstall me as leader of the surface world!"
"Very well, miss... Squid Girl, I'll let you audition," Kalos replied. With a bit of an unaccustomed smile playing on his face, he added, "But if you succeed, I'm only going to pay you scale."
Classified location
September 15, 2017
"Sgt. Sagara, what are you wearing, asks Niiko Misaka in an attempt to pass the time."
"Fumoffu."
Jayne bitch-slapped Sosuke, then winced because he'd slapped an armor plate. "Use the radio Washuu gave you, ya idiot."
Nearby
Same time
"They're tough... but can they withstand a mimiteic attack?"
"It's pronounced 'memetic attack'."
"No, it isn't," replied the redhead at the far end of the group. "Charm Buster!"
Again, nearby
Same time
Hyoga glared at her opponent as she spread her wings. "When what freezes over? I've been to Niflheim; it already has."
Once again, nearby
Later the same day
"You left your place in the line of battle without permission. We had already dispatched reserves to extract Kamijo."
"Captain Testarossa, he's the boy I love! Can't you understand that?"
Before Tessa could react, Kuroko teleported directly in front of Mikoto - and slapped her across the face.
As everyone else looked at her in shock, she said, "I'm a year younger than you, oneesan. And I know - really, I do - how hormones can affect someone. But I don't let them affect me while I'm working. Grow up."
You guessed it ... Nearby
Same time
Ruby Rose practically begged, "Please! Come to the light side! We have cookies!"
- RK: By "drum hit", we mean the player hitting the drum, not the other way around.
- RK: The residence that houses characters from 1970s and '80s TV, which is a hint as to the reference being made here.
- BL: Yomi has seen Matilda the Musical
- BL: Bess (a.k.a. Ves-Ves) has not seen Matilda the Musical
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
Posts: 28,017
Threads: 2,298
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RE: 2016-09-12 ff.: Vignettes
01-27-2025, 06:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-08-2025, 07:24 AM by robkelk.)
Chapter 3: Possible futures of Refuge
Authors' Note: While all of the Vignettes are of questionable canonicity unless and until they appear in a story, these are even more so.
October 2017
Blossom Apartments
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
October 10, 2017
"Once the GenX generation starts reaching their 50s and 60s in the 2030s and 2040s, they'll be Silver Millennials. And Serenity will be their Queen."
"Mina!!!"
Blossom Towers
Renfrew, Ontario, Canada
October 14, 2017
Misuzu Misaka looked at the crowd of Misaka Sisters standing outside of the newly-Twinned apartment highrises. "I have how many daughters?"
"Over nine thousand!"
"I think I'd remember having gone through labour that many times..."
November 2017
Aria House
Los Angeles, California, USA
November 1, 2017
"Can I wish for a device to make another person go away?"
Skuld looked at Yomi in disbelief. "You want a vuvuzela?"
Online
November 2, 2017
"HAL and Uiharu are busy holding off Viluy's cyber attacks. And as long as her firewall is intact, we can't counterattack."
"I've got one thing to say about that firewall," Ralph replied. "I'm gonna wreck it!"
December 2017
Astral Consulting
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
December 3, 2017
"Young Miss Testarossa from Philadelphia is here to see you."
Itsuki looked up at Honami's comment. "What, now?"
His corporate secretary, best combat mage, and childhood friend smiled. "To quote Optimus Prime, 'Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing'."
The Masaki residence
Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada
December 14, 2017
Sasami was sitting in her "contemplative place" on the stairwell landing. "There are so many magical girls. Why can't I be one, too?"
Ryo-Ohki looked up at her and replied, in English, "Because you never asked before! Here's your wand, Pretty Sammy."
San Francisco, California, USA
December 21, 2017
"Himemiya's Curry House. Want to try it?"
"I like to mix things up a little...."
The Muppet Theatre
1564 Broadway
Manhattan, New York, USA
December 30, 2017
"It's the Muppet Show! With our special guests - Hokago Tea Time! Yaaaayyy!"
January 2018
The Misaka Network
January 6, 2018
"Fumi Misaka announces, This... is Misaka Network 23 News." The title card displayed, showing graphics in shades of blue. The ticking clock face turned then flipped, revealing a Bohr model of an atom. It flipped over again, showing the grinning face of Gekota, before revolving one last time to show a rotating Earth. "Tonight, our top stories, Fumi enumerates:"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
Somerset, New Jersey, USA
January 13, 2018
"My name is Philippa. My siblings call me 'Pip'."
"Pip? As in orange pips?"
"Pip as in Great Expectations; I was thought of as a tomboy back home in London, and my choice of hobby when we moved to Japan did nothing to dispel that notion. But, yes, my hair -" she casually touched her light-orange locks for a brief moment "- does have more than a small bearing on the nickname."
"What do your friends here call you? I can't imagine most Japanese people pronouncing Philippa correctly."
She smiled sadly as she shook her head. "No, the best they could manage was 'P-ko'. And then my teammates took that and my hair colour and code-named me 'Orange Pekoe'. I thought we were mad about tea back home, but my family has nothing on the students at St. Gloriana."
March 2018
Somewhere in Pottsylvania
March 17, 2018
"Villain hideout, meet Tenchi and Railgun. Tenchi and Railgun, meet... wasn't there a building here two minutes ago?"
April 2018
Somewhere in Pottsylvania
April 1, 2018
"A can?" Kurz asked in disbelief. "Stop thinking so small. This is a ballistic missile submarine. Tessa's going to open a 55-gallon drum of whoop-ass!"
Later the same day
"Please surrender before I have to resort to violence." Tessa even asked politely.
"Oh, yeah? You and what army?"
At that point, the Tuatha de Danann surfaced behind her, in the Dneister River.
"Will you settle for a navy?"
June 2018
Earth Orbit
June 28, 2018
As Washuu-chan led them out onto the hangar deck, she inclined her head toward Anthy, "More than anything else, I just wanted to thank you for asking me to do this," she said. "It's been quite an enjoyable project for me over the last year and a half, and became almost a hobby, in fact. I found myself turning to it every time I needed a little relaxation."
Anthy smiled. "I'm so glad we both got something out of my request, then. I was worried that I was unnecessarily imposing on you when your workload is already so great."
Washuu waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "Feh. I'm not doing anything that doesn't already interest me on one level or another. And it helped that in this case no one's life was in the balance, nor was there any kind of deadline. I could put it down and pick it back up again at my leisure." She chuckled, and Utena raised an eyebrow. "It's been the equivalent of making a ship in a bottle for me. I'm almost sad it's done."
"And it's exactly as described in the stories?" Utena asked, intrigued despite her trepidation about the whole prospect.
"I found a webpage describing the Valiant and did my best to meet every specification and then some." Washuu grinned wickedly. "I did have to bring in a consultant to help me with the finer details, though." A heavyset, bearded man stepped out from one of the alcoves lining the deck. "Allow me to introduce Ben Hutchins, sometimes known as 'Gryphon'." Washuu's grin grew even wider. "I understand you were interested in meeting him."
Utena couldn't help herself. "Hi, 'Dad'," she said with a broad smile.
A much put-upon expression flashed across Hutchins' face as he handed a folded bill to Washuu. "Prince Tenjou, Miss Himemiya," he said, nodding to them. Then, almost to himself, he added, "Yeah, this is surreal."
"And it wasn't before?" Washuu asked, still grinning.
August 2018
Somewhere in the Kuiper belt
August 22, 2018
They looked around to see that the forward supply base was deserted and ransacked. "Not much chance of getting any help here. I wonder who attacked them?"
"Probably the Borg," Washuu replied. "They left behind this box of potentiometers."
"How do you go from that to thinking the Borg are responsible?"
"They're the only race that has no use for these. They think resistance is futile."
2027
Starfleet training simulator
Starbase 1, Earth orbit
Class of 2028
"Open fire."
"FEI-ZA... BEEM!"
"Please stop shouting your attacks, Ensign Takamachi."
2030
Moon Gorgeous Meditation: Religious Practices as Civic Culture in the Silver Millennium
Fujitaka Kinomoto¹﹡, Daniel Jackson², Andrew Park³, Victor Bergman¹, Kaori Aida¹
ABSTRACT
Excavations of the Mare Serenitatis site have revealed much of the material culture of the Silver Millennium of the Moon Kingdom. Preserved in the regolith and rendered oxygen-free soon after the fall of the kingdom, recovered samples are of comparable level of preservation to those in Pompeii, thousands of years later. Though eyewitnesses to the era have downplayed its importance, artifacts discovered suggest widespread participation in the cult of the princesses. In addition to public temples, home shrines and idols to the sailor guardians appear to be commonplace. We explore the differences between the perception of this cult among lunar commoners and those at the center of it. And we contrast to similar cults of apotheosis, such as in Egypt, Rome, and Abydos, to show how worship in the Moon Kingdom was uniquely led by the lower classes.
¹ Serenity University
² University of Chicago
³ University of California, Los Angeles
﹡ Corresponding Author: Email <fkinomoto@su.ed.ln>
Log in to view the full article
2031
Deep space
March 3, 2031
"Captain's Log. The Rideau's sensors have detected an anomalous body three Astronomical Units off the port bow and below the ship. I have asked the rest of the ship's crew to join me in the cockpit. End recording."
The first to arrive was the ship's LMH, who rezzed into existence behind the captain's chair. "What's going on, Ruiko?"
"I've never seen readings quite like these."
Next to arrive was the ship's surgeon and science officer - despite the decades, she still looked almost exactly like the LMH that was patterned off her. "What sort of readings?"
"This sort, mom." Ruiko pointed at the science station's monitor.
Ami knew things weren't immediately dangerous, since her adopted step-daughter (who was only three years younger than she was) was being informal. She sat at the science station and looked at the display. "This ... doesn't make sense. Have you ever seen anything like this, Akemi?"
The LMH looked over her shoulder. "There is nothing remotely like that in either the Federation or Juraian databases that I have been programmed with."
At this point, the rest of the runabout's crew arrived. Rob took the seat beside Ruiko, while Hyoga took the remaining seat.
Hyoga switched on the tactical display, focused on the object, and stared at the display. "That's not possible."
"You're a part-time angel, you've known Sailor Senshi for decades, and you think something isn't possible?" Rob switched on his own screen. "That isn't possible. Or, rather, that's just barely possible, and only with magical intervention. Somebody check the passive scanners, please. Where's that body's magic flux read on the scale?"
"It's right off the scale," Hyoga replied.
"Figures." Rob looked at the real-colour image of the body displayed on his monitor: a turtle swimming through space, with four elephants on its back and a disc of land on the elephants' backs. "I recommend avoiding it - the last thing we need is to land in or near Anhk-Morpork. Besides, that world has already seen The Last Hero that it ever will; there's no place there for my geas to kick in."
Ruiko sighed. "You're no fun, dad. But you're right. I'll plot its course. Hyoga, please signal Earth that we've spotted it; maybe somebody else will want to take a look."
"Aye, captain," she said with a smile.
21XX
Some time in the 22nd century
"Long, long ago, at the beginning of what mankind called the 21st century, the people of Clan Chikyū-no-Mau were able to take both human and feline form. The three legendary founders of the clan were the majority of the Mau on Earth, and so the only way for Clan Chikyū-no-Mau to survive was to interbreed with humans, and that required genetic engineering assistance from the Great Scientist. But that assistance came with a price: the descendants of the grandmother of us all, Diana Chikyū-no-Tsuki-no-Mau, would never be able to transform between fully-human and fully-feline forms, instead taking on aspects of both of their ancestors' species in their sole forms. And that, young Merle, is how the catgirls got our ears."
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
Posts: 26,379
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RE: 2016-09-12 ff.: Vignettes
06-08-2025, 07:52 AM
(This post was last modified: 06-11-2025, 07:41 AM by Bob Schroeck.)
Chapter 4
We thought we had finished our collection of Vignettes after three sets... but we came up with more, starting with something that's a bit meta even for My Apartment Manager is not an Isekai Character. Enjoy!
2016
Drosselmeyer's Journal
September 20, 2016
9:44 PM ET
Tropes are an interesting way to look at the world, but of course everything is really about stories. Stories are woven into the very fabric of reality, and sometimes, the fates allow me to weave my own stories. The great thing about this new world is that there are so, so many stories, all twined together. It's hard to decide where to start writing first!
It's very hard to write a truly original story. If originality even exists. As Isaac Newton once said, he stood on the shoulders of giants — and just like Newton, I don't think that diminishes my own greatness one bit. But there's a little bit more to it than that, of course.
Lives and stories really like to follow existing stories, and wizards of old knew it as the Tradition. The Tradition is a force that tries to make events follow a traditional path, and echo old stories. It's as if the universe itself wants to see how the stories play out, again and again.
Case in point: Today I visited a coffee shop, and happened upon two young people, a boy named Julio and a girl named Roma. It took but a short bit of time to jot down their cute meet, and they fell in love almost instantly! The traditional path of star-crossed young lovers is an ancient one, but put in two different cultures and names similar to Romeo and Juliet? My ink just flew on the page, because the universe itself favored it. I shall look forward to following up on these two, because the Tradition likes tragedy just as much as happy endings.
But in this new world I find myself in, there are new traditional paths to study! I've seen one where "winter is coming", and nations and families tear themselves apart. Another one where a man allowing himself passion and love itself leads him to embrace "the dark side". I quite like that one! Someone has brushed up the old Odyssey, put it in outer space, and made it so some of the crew were living marionettes — machines in the skin of people — who sabotaged the humans from within. Such delicious stories, that I hope to put my own spin on it. It's a hard job — torturing people so that I can find out what they are truly made of — but someone has to do it!
As much as I fear my own stories are derivative, it's so hard to get inspiration from nothing. But I'm not really worried. It's fun to throw a few traditional stories together just to see what happens. Why fight it? It's just part of reality, and I can feel the Tradition even more strongly here than I did in my old life.
It turns out my own story is traditional too. Apparently I am share my name with a "fictional" wizard who could animate dolls. Do I really look like a nutcracker? I guess I do. Heh heh. I suppose if I could defeat any mouse kings if I were ever called on to do so. Maybe I could take on Disney? It sounds silly, but fate would favor me if I tried.
The Masaki residence, Coquitlam, BC, Canada
October 1, 2016
Washuu-chan listened to Garnett's explanation of Ranma's curse, thought for a moment, then grinned. "I have just the thing!" She typed at her holo-keyboard for a moment, then a portal appeared over her shoulder just long enough for a cylinder to pop out. She grabbed it before it could fall to the floor, then tossed it to Garnett. "Give him this!"
Garnett looked at what she'd reflexively caught. It was a Thermos — complete with the brand name.
"Now why didn't I think of that?" Garnett asked sarcastically.
The Steeple, Philadelphia, PA, USA
October 6, 2016
"I know you're on a diet, but mom's new chocolate cake recipe is sooooo goooood..."
"Nanoha!" Miyuki insisted. "Stop tempting Fate!"
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
October 12, 2016
Rob Donaldson closed his apartment door behind him and walked over to the kitchen nook. As he looked in the cupboard at what he had available for a lunch eaten alone, one jar caught his eye.
It was something he didn't eat very often since he'd become an apartment manager. His residents from early-21st-century Academy City thought it was something fancy, so they didn't eat it out of habit; they didn't want to become accustomed to eating a luxury food on a regular basis. Most of his residents from 1990s Japan thought it was some strange substance that they couldn't imagine anybody eating. Which, he granted, was fair; he couldn't understand how somebody would want to eat natto. The sole exception was Minako, who had spent time in England... but she thought it was disgusting. What does she know what's disgusting to eat? Rob asked himself. She eats Marmite.[1]
He decided to eat what he wanted, for a change... and pulled the peanut butter out of the cupboard.
Dr. John Hugh Gillis Regional High School, Antigonish, NS, Canada
October 21, 2016
"I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement, if you don't want me to tell your parents about this."
Katie looked at Nabiki as if she'd grown another head. "What do you mean, 'tell my parents'? They've known that I'm gay for years — and my mom set me up with Tammy to start with!"
Nabiki's first attempt at blackmail in her new school in Nova Scotia was quickly spinning out of her control. "But... aren't you a Christian?"
Katie nodded. "Yes, but just because there's a chapel and a cathedral on the grounds of Saint F-X doesn't mean we're all Catholics in Antigonish," she replied. "Tammy and I attend St. James United, [2] and so do my parents and both of her fathers." While Nabiki wrapped her head around the idea of a homosexual couple being so open about their relationship that they attended a Christian church as a couple, Katie continued, "Just because we like a little privacy when making out doesn't mean we're hiding. Besides, this is a university town. I wouldn't say that anything goes, Ms. Tendo," Katie grinned, "but we're a lot more accepting than many other places. Do you mind if I show these photos to Tammy?"
"No, go ahead," Nabiki replied almost in a daze. And she had thought things were going so well, too. Then she realized from the mention of Anything Goes that Katie knew exactly who she was.
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
November 25, 2016
"What's got you so glum, pretty lady?" He didn't know why he called her that, but somehow it felt right.
Ami looked up at Rob, tears in her eyes for some reason. "I used the Mercury Computer to take notes in class today, and people laughed at me!"
Rob winced. There was no way for Ami's classmates to know that her palmtop was the most powerful device in the room, if not the entire university. Then he had an idea. "Back when Blackberry still made hardware, I used to use my cellphone as a front-end to my tablet so I could use a physical keyboard. Maybe Kazari and HAL could whip up something similar for you so you use your phone in public."
"And keep the Mercury Computer in my pocket?" He nodded. "Do... do you think they could?"
"I'm sure they could," he answered as he gave her a hug. "You've already got your visor as a front-end to your computer when you're in senshi form."
Virtual Space
December 22, 2016
Vanellope kicked at a non-existent stone. "It's not fair that we can't go to the Christmas party with everyone else," she pouted.
"Maybe next year," Felix said. "By then they might've had time to build robot bodies for us to use."
"In my case, it is less a matter of not being physical," KITT's avatar — a black car bigger than all the others combined — noted, "but of being too physical. It is difficult to seat an automobile at a dinner table," he added dryly. "But I am used to being overlooked or even ignored during most human celebrations."
"It's still not fair," Vanellope reiterated.
"Why don't we throw our own Christmas party?" Tamora asked as she ran her fingers through her husband's hair.
"Where would we hold it, dear?" Felix asked as he leaned back, eyes half closed.
"Sugar Rush," Vanellope declared confidently. "I mean, I'm its princess — I'll just order my subjects to organize it all for me. And KITT," she added, "I'm pretty sure I can set you up with a human-shaped avatar so you can join all the fun."
"I have to admit a certain curiosity about operating a humanoid form, Miss von Schweetz, even if it is virtual," KITT replied. "If you are able to arrange it, I would be happy to participate in the celebration."
"And maybe we can race after?" Vanellope added with a sly grin. "After all, that's what we do."
2017
Appartements Mont-Royal Sud, Montreal, QC, Canada
January 7, 2017
"It's not proper to burden somebody else with my personal problems."
"Ms. Matou," Harold Shea replied, "It's my job to be burdened with other people's personal problems, and to help them solve those problems. Would you be kind enough to help me do my job?"
"If you insist," Sakura said quietly. "But don't you know all about it already from watching my story?"
Harold nodded. "Knowing it and hearing it from you are two different things. Please, Ms. Matou, tell me about what you think was the beginning."
The fifteen-year-old girl sighed deeply, then said, "It all started when I was adopted into the Matou family as a child and I met my step-brother Shinji..."
Piffle Enterprises, Ottawa, ON, Canada
January 16, 2017
Gomez Addams took a look around Piffle's workroom, with artificial limbs, torsos, and heads on various workbenches. "This reminds me of great-uncle Frankie's lab!"
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
January 23, 2017
Her textbook hit the table harder than usual. The strong, solid, oak table; if she had slammed it onto one of the smaller tables, the table might have broken.
Everybody else in the common room turned to look at Ami. She looked upset.
"How am I supposed to study when I can't find any decent photos?"
Minako walked over, picked up the textbook that so offended Ami, and leafed through it. "Wow. I see your point."
"What point, Niiko Misaka asks?"
Minako turned to her, a frown on her face. She held up Ami's textbook and said, "It isn't just the Oscars that are so white."
"Exactly!" complained Ami. "Nobody in these books looks like us!"
"Maybe we should do something about that," Kazari opined without looking up from her laptop. Five minutes later, she, HAL, and Washuu-chan had worked out a plan to collect public-domain photos of medical conditions and make them available on the net.
Callahan's, Long Island, NY, USA
February 7, 2017
"Since it wasn't the first time we'd caught him doing that on duty, I had no choice but to fire him."
Rob winced. "Yeah, I can see why. But what about the starboard engine monitor?"
"I had to fire her, too," replied Lindy with a straight face.
He blinked, noticed the smile that was starting to form on her face, and laughed. She quickly joined in.
After a few seconds, Rob said, "Oh, you had me going there. And we even have a similar joke here, too." Then he sighed, and continued, "I do like your sense of humour, Lindy. I'd be happy to get to know you better."
She smiled in all seriousness. "I'm flattered, Rob, but I don't think of you that way. I'd rather we just be friends."
"Oh, I didn't mean that. I'm already dating Hyoga. I'm good with us being friends." Then his cellphone alarm chimed.
"It's that late already?"
Rob nodded as they both stood up. "Yeah. We have to go. I have to remind Mimi to head over to your place, and you have to be there to teach her. Same time next week?"
Lindy grinned. "I'll be here!"
Los Angeles, California, USA
March 17, 2017
Minkao Jinguuji leaned back against her apartment door after shutting and locking it, and took a long, slow breath. She held it for a moment, eyes closed, then let it back out just as slowly before opening her eyes again. She loved being a reporter but, damn, some days.
Shaking her head she pushed herself up and kicked off her shoes before making her way to her bedroom to change into something more comfortable.
An hour later, the remains of her dinner pushed back across the small dinette table to give her room, she flipped open the red notebook she kept hidden any time she left the apartment. Her eye fell upon the first line of the first page, written in her tight, neat kanji — so like and yet so unlike the romaji she had found herself using the last five months:
Quote:1. This is not my world.
And she still didn't know how she'd ended up over twenty years in the future, a future that insisted she'd always been in it, with familiar names but slightly different histories. Not different enough, though, damn it all — her parents had still been disgraced, her life still shattered in the wake of their so-called suicides... but that investigation was a different-colored notebook, kept hidden in a different location entirely. That was for her search for justice. This one...
This one was for her search for meaning.
And with a rumor she'd heard coming out of the seiyuu community in Japan, she had her first lead since she'd found herself in this time and place.
Pensacola Beach, Florida, USA
April 8, 2017
"This is Crescent Rose," Ruby said, then smiled sheepishly. "I'm kind of a dork about weapons."
Fifteen minutes later, in Australia, Shinji waved at the giant robot. "This is my weapon, Evangelion Unit-01."
Ruby stared. "Whoa," she breathed, "that is so cool." Then she turned to Shinji. "You win."
Shinji cracked a tiny smile. "I usually did."
Source
Gehring Place
Houston, Texas, USA
May 15, 2017
"Jeannie! I'm home!" Tony announced as he closed the door to the apartment behind him and toed off his black oxfords.
"I'm in the kitchen, Master." Jeannie's voice was a near-murmur at his ear. Tony smiled to himself. Of course she wouldn't shout across the apartment. He set his briefcase on the console table next to the door, loosened his tie and slid off his jacket, to toss it carelessly on the sofa as he crossed the living room ... and stopped short at the tiny dining area, almost a breakfast nook, at the end of the brick wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. "Um, hello."
A blonde woman sat at the table such that she had been hidden from the front door. Tony frowned slightly in confusion; she was clearly well past middle age, but was ... "well preserved" was the first phrase that came to mind. She was also disturbingly familiar. "Hello, Major Nelson," she said, smiling, as Jeannie stepped out of the kitchen and placed a cup of coffee in front of her, and another at the place closest to the kitchen; its chair had been pushed out.
"Hello, Master!" Jeannie said brightly as she slipped gracefully into it. "Welcome home!"
Looking between the two of them, Tony suddenly realized why the older woman had seemed so familiar. He bent down and pecked Jeannie on the cheek, then said, "Thank you, Jeannie. I wasn't aware that any of your relatives had been displaced with us." He nodded toward the woman, who laughed musically. Jeannie joined her a moment later.
"I'm sorry, Major," the woman said, "I'm not one of Jeannie's relatives, although I can see how you might think that." She stood and offered him her hand, and he automatically shook it. "My name is Barbara Eden. I played Jeannie in a TV show fifty years ago." She slid her hand from his suddenly limp grasp, and raised it to cup his cheek. "You look so much like Larry. It's a pity he passed away before he could meet you."
Mel Hoppenheim School of Cinema, Concordia University, Montreal, QC, Canada
May 15, 2017
"Manami, the more I learn about you, the more I wish I'd met you when you were alive."
"Oh, I think I probably wouldn't have looked twice at you when I was alive, Henry," Manami Kuroha replied. "You aren't Japanese."
Remembering the reputation that 20th-century Japanese had for unconscious racism, Henry Stewart said, "There is that."
Blossom Apartments
June 9, 2017
Lind drew the sword from the scabbard in order to present it to Minako. It was brown of hue, emblazoned with a dragon, decked with gold and gleaming bright. "I can think of none better to wield this sword in this reality than the commander of Neo-Queen Serenity's bodyguard. This is Gram, the sword that can cleave an anvil. The hero Sigurd used it to slay Fafnir, the dragon whose very breath is poison."
Rob looked puzzled. "But I spoke with Fafnir last December," he whispered.
Hyoga leaned over to Rob and whispered in reply, "While we were in Niflheim."
"Yes, while we were in... D'oh!"
Somewhere in Dublin, Ireland
July 22, 2017
"Why are you in bed with me?"
"You... asked me last night," Meg Deckard replied. "Twice."
"I don't remember that?"
"Do you remember what you had to drink?"
"...And you said Yes?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"I was drunk. You have those freaky powers. And... and... you're... I know who you really are."
"Yes. But I'm also a companion model boomer — and you needed companionship for the night. It's OK, you were perfectly honourable for the entire night. But it feels good..."
"It's not a real feeling. It's one you made."
"It is real. Right now, my feelings for you are real. And the feelings you have are real too. It's possible for someone to feel this way about you. It's possible for you to have these feelings about someone else."
"It feels so unlikely."
"It's difficult, but you're a good soul. Just be honest with yourself, and allow it to happen, rather than try to force it."
"Why'd you do this?"
"Like I said. You needed companionship."
Kaluakoi Hotel, Hawaii, USA
August 18, 2017
Ami Mizuno looked at the leader board in amazement. "How?"
Michiru Kaioh stood beside her, just as amazed. "I was expecting to tie with you, but I didn't expect that we'd tie for second."
The person who'd swum faster than either of the Senshi with water powers walked over to them, a pair of towels on her arm and a third draped around her neck. "That was a great race! I was worried for a while that I might have lost." She offered each of them a towel.
"Thanks, Chika," Ami said as she took one towel.
Michiru accepted the other towel. "How did you manage to keep up with us, let alone beat us, Ms. Minazuki?"
The youngster with no superhuman powers at all grinned. "I just swam the way I always do! Why, don't you spend hours in the water every day, too?"
Douglass Gardens Apartments
August 26, 2017
Azusa Nakano leaned toward Ruiko Saten and, sotto voice, asked, "Why is she doing this?"
"You know who her friends are," Ruiko said at the same volume. "She might not be able to survive hanging out with the Pillar of Cephiro and Neo-Queen Serenity if she doesn't."
"Yeah. That would be bad." Then both girls turned their full attention back to the ceremony: Sailor Moon had just transformed to Neo-Queen Serenity and stepped forward so that she was close enough to touch the young woman kneeling before her, flanked by her sister and her petitioning Sailor Senshi.
"We stand here in the watchful presence of the royalty and nobility of the Silver Millennium and their invited guests to witness the bestowal of a Star Seed to this worthy applicant."
Said assemblage being the Sailor Senshi and Tuxedo Kamen in their roles as royalty, the sole living noble, Baroness Tomo Takino, standing beside Princess Venus, and residents of both Douglass Gardens and Blossom recruited to pad out the audience.
"The gift of a Star Seed is not to be accepted lightly. The powers of a Sailor Senshi should not be used for personal gain; rather, they exist so that their owners can promote, protect, preserve, and embody virtues, including love. Knowing this, and knowing the burden of responsibility that you will assume, do you still choose to accept this gift, Miss Hirasawa?"
Yui Hirasawa looked up at Usagi, opened her mouth... and forgot her line.
Her sister Ui was the first to realize what had happened. She whispered, "I accept this responsibility."
"I accept this responsibility!" Yui echoed more loudly.
As a silver glow surrounded both Hirasawa sisters and lifted them into the air, Ui realized exactly what she'd done... and accepted the gift that she expected only her sister would receive that day.
Once the glow faded, the two new Sailor Senshi looked at themselves and each other. They were standing side-by-side and dressed similarly, wearing the requisite white leotard and sailor collar present in all of the solar system's Sailor Senshi uniforms, pleated short skirts matching their collars, and ballet-flat shoes covering white ankle socks on their feet. While the uniforms were both green with white trim, Yui's was the same shade as Sailor Jupiter's while Ui's was the brighter green of her junior-high school uniform. Instead of the expected choker, each new Senshi was wearing a necklace supporting a Minoan-style pendant. The astronomical symbol for Europa glowed on both girls' foreheads, but only Ui's symbol had a asterisk between the horns. Neither of them wore gloves, but both carried javelins.
While she was as surprised as everyone else at what had just happened, Neo-Queen Serenity recovered quickly. "I welcome you into the Sailor Team, Duchess Yui, Sailor Europa... and Princess Ui, Sailor Europa."
"But... but... how?"
Sailor Mercury turned to Ruiko. "There are two bodies named Europa in the solar system, a moon of Jupiter and an asteroid that is larger than Juno. This is an elegant way to resolve the question of who should become Sailor Europa."
Meanwhile, Usagi had returned to her Sailor Moon uniform and walked over to the man standing beside the Pillar of Cephiro. "Guru Clef, may I request a favor from you?"
While Usagi was short, Clef was even shorter; he had to reach up to place one finger on her lips. "Say no more, Your Highness. It would be my honor to teach these two young women how to use their new abilities."
Classified location
September 15, 2017
Rob looked him straight in the eye. "Let her go!"
He did so. "Very poor choice of words."
But since he wasn't watching his victim's fall, he didn't notice that Hyoga's wings were extended before she was halfway to the ground.
The Old Dietmeier Place
Lake Wobegon, MN, USA
September 22, 2017
"This is for you," Ruby said as she dropped a cardboard box onto the workbench in front of Buffy.
"A prezzy? For me?" Buffy grinned at the smaller girl. "You shouldn't have!"
Ruby giggled and rolled her eyes. "While we work on creating your weapon, we need to get you ready to actually use it when we're done." She patted the box. "I've made a mockup of it, weighted and balanced to feel the same in your hands as the real thing will when it's finished, whichever form it's in." The younger girl looked very pleased with herself. "That way you can start learning how to use it right away."
"That's what I love about you guys from Remnant," Buffy declared as she opened up the box. "You all know the way to a girl's heart."
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
October 6, 2017
"Rob Donaldson. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Yamada."
Motoharu looked confused for a moment. "My name is -"
Rob cut him off, quickly. "Yamada, if you want any chance of being allowed to marry Maika in the future."
"Oh." Motoharu looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled and extended his right hand. "Motoharu Yamada. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Donaldson."
Rob quite happily shook the once and future Tsuchimikado-san's hand. "I'm glad we could clear that up so quickly."
Elsewhere in Blossom Apartments
Same Time
"Call me 'Misaka Leet', Misaka 13337 suggests."
"Might I suggest 'Lita' instead? That's an actual girl's name here," Artemis pointed out.
"What kind of name is 'Lita' for an electrokinetic?" asked Sailor Jupiter with disdain, having flashbacks to when she had watched the dub of her own anime. [3]
Misaka 13337 smiled slightly. "'Misaka Lita' it is, then."
2018
Somewhere in Northbrook, IL, USA
February 7, 2018
"Hey, I have a girlfriend! She's in Canada."
"Yeah, right. You have a girlfriend in Canada. You and that guy from The Breakfast Club."
"No, really!"
"Then tell us about her!"
"Well, she's tall, she was born in Japan, and she says I remind her of her sempai, whatever that means..."
Somewhere in Ottawa, ON, Canada
March 25, 2018
"Dr. Mizuno, if your daughter was to return to Japan now, she would have to go back into high school. Here, she is already majoring in Pediatric Cardiology at the University of Ottawa, and she has already been selected to get hands-on training at the University of Ottawa Heart Institute to supplement her classes." Saeko actually looked surprised at that revelation. Even in Japan, the Heart Institute was famous as a ground-breaking medical institution. "I assure you, Ami-san is not letting her life go to waste."
In a briefing room aboard the Tuatha de Danaan, submerged in the Black Sea near Ukraine and Pottsylvania
July 9, 2018
Due to the security around the operation, Commander Mardukas was personally on the radio: "Mama Bear to Papa Bear, Pleiades are being briefed now. Request your status report. Any changes to the situation?"
Meanwhile, Captain Teresa Testarossa was carrying out that briefing. "If we're going to defeat Cinder's deployed forces, we'll need to get you in behind them, here." She pointed at a spot on the map. "However, they have anti-teleport wards deployed. That means getting you five in there the hard way."
Mikoto nodded. "I don't really like combat drops, but we're getting used to them."
"Agent Papa Bear and his team have also detected heat and radio sensors deployed in Cinder's troops' position, so we have arranged the use of a glider that Hyoga's going to pull to get you to the drop point. The five of you will bail out at 200 feet."
Niiko shook her head. "It has to be 100 feet or lower."
Mii raised an eyebrow. "You're sure? If you jump at 100 feet, your parachutes won't have time to open."
Nana's reply was, "Oh, we get parachutes?"
Mardukas smiled as he thought these Misaka Sisters were almost Gurkhas.
Callahan's, Long Island, NY, USA
August 14, 2018
"I don't know whether anybody would even notice the gender imbalance among the displacees," Lindy commented. "There may be hundreds of displaced refugees, but Japan alone has somewhere around one and a half million high-school-age girls, I believe."
"Close enough for government work," Mamoru agreed.
Rob grimaced. "Have you seen the statistics that governments keep? It's only 'close enough' if you have the exact number. That estimate's close enough for private sector work."
Hyoga sighed at his foible. "Spot the ex-bureaucrat, everybody." Then she turned to her date. "Rob, there's a time and a place to be pedantic, and a friendly get-together in a bar is not it."
Rob had the grace to look contrite. "Right, Sorry."
Unnamed mailing list, Online
September 29, 2018
From: @33Stars_Band
33 minutes ago.
Hi...
Since we have followers in California, This applies to us
Every member of this band is an artificial lifeform pretending to be human.
2019
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, ON, Canada
January 21, 2019
"It's only 40 cm of snow. Why would they close the schools?" Ami noticed just a hint of a smile playing on Rob's face as he said that.
Just then, Ruiko looked up from her laptop and announced, "Rob, they closed the schools!"
"Wow. That doesn't happen very often. It was my turn to make breakfast, but I have to use my power to clear the snow from the walkway and the parking lot instead."
"I'll make breakfast," Ami offered.
"Thanks." Rob looked at the news report that said the storm was affecting all of eastern Canada as he grabbed his coat. "Looks like we're stuck here until they plow the roads unless we use a portal, and there's no point in using the portal network to visit Windsor, Montréal, or Antigonish; they've been hit as hard as we have and I'd be surprised if anyone other than our friends in Nova Scotia were ready for it. Once I'm back inside, we can figure out something that we can do together. Anybody else here ever play Dungeons & Dragons?"
"Famicom, Sega, or Playstation?" Ruiko asked.
"Pencil-and-paper; the books are in the glass-fronted bookcase."
"Oh you meant a tabletop RPG. Is Ami going to be our Dungeon Keeper?"
Classified location
March 8, 2019
"If only I had more electricity to draw on, I could make this work," Mikoto Misaka said through gritted teeth.
Before anybody else could reply, Fate started chanting:
"To pound is lightning,
To echo is thunder,
Alcus Curtas Agias..."
As storm clouds gathered and started to send lightning down to the earth, Nanoha's eyes went wide. "Fate hasn't used that spell since she activated six Jewel Seeds at once... and it nearly killed her!"
Somewhere in the Solar System
April 8, 2019
"What's quackening–" The redheaded girl began shrinking down, collapsing into her smaller form in a couple second. "Quack," said the yellow ducking.
"Crap, antimagic." Brent declared, "This is not good. There's no way we could beat them without magic." He scooped up the duck and started a hasty retreat through the steely halls of the spaceship.
"Qua... quack-quack-quack-qua-quack!" Entchen warned.
"Yeah, I know they're faster than me." Brent darted through a steel door. Not having any way to lock it, he went for the old standby, pulling a knife from his pocket and slamming it into the door control keypad. The lock sparked, sputtered, then smoked, disabling the door.
Entchen gestured around the room with her left wing. "Qua–" A storage bay, and a dead end. The metallic din outside the door grew even louder.
"What's the chance there's a plasma rifle in the crates? These guys don't seem too big on OSHA rules." But he never got the answer to that question, as a spot in the door started to glow red, then begin to cut through the door.
"Okay, new plan. Let's get out of here. Some magic can't be suppressed; it's written into spacetime itself." As the cutting torch was halfway through its giant loop through the bay doors, Brent told the duck, "Sorry about this," and began reciting:
"Through the darkness of future's past
The magician longs to see
One chants out between two worlds
Fire, walk with me!"
The storage bay doors blasted open, but there was no one inside.
In another place entirely, two people regained awareness. It seemed like a very well lit room, yet all that illuminated them from above was mere starlight. Long red curtains hung all round them, and a matching plush red sofa lay on the checkerboard floor.
Sitting on this sofa were one human man, Brent Laabs, and one duckling, Entchen. They were alone in the room, and looked around, not knowing what they were looking for.
And then, there was a pretty blonde girl in a chair, sitting beside the couch as if it had always been there. She spoke, her voice garbled as if she was speaking backwards, "You are a bird, but you are not a bird." Her voice was somehow perfectly intelligible to Brent and Entchen.
Entchen slowly lifted her wings, then folded them back into place. She turned to face the girl and quacked, "It's complicated." This too, was understood by all in the room.
"You are a dancer. You will dance with me?" The duckling turned to look over, and nodded up and down four times. In a blink, Entchen was standing, facing the girl who looked like Laura Palmer.
Brent watched the pair, dancing a slow ballet to haunting jazz. The dancers looked like a perfect mirror each other's actions, except one was a girl but not a girl, and the other was a duck but not a duck. He complained, "This place, every single time."
Aboard the Federation science ship USS Yosemite, Starbase 1, Earth Orbit
May 16, 2019
Rob noticed that a program was already running on the ship's holodeck. But this was where Ami had told him she wanted to see him, so he walked in.
The holodeck was running a simulation of the original NCC-1701 Enterprise's sickbay, with only one person in the room — a petite young woman with short hair so dark it seemed almost blue. She was wearing a DS9-era Starfleet uniform, though.
"Ami?"
She turned to face him. Rob saw that she was wearing a badge shaped like Washuu-chan's signature crab instead of a Starfleet commbadge, and her hair was parted on her right instead of on her left. "Hello. You must be Mr. Donaldson. I am not Ms. Mizuno; I am the prototype Zimmerman-Hakubi Long-term Medical Holographic program, or 'LMH' for short."
Okay, this wasn't what I expected, he thought. "Hello, miss. I wasn't aware that Washuu-chan was working with Dr. Zimmerman on your project; I assume that you're ready to be posted somewhere."
"You assume correctly, as far as your assumption goes. I have been designed to serve as a medic in locations where it would be impractical to station a full-time physician. I have been programmed with both the Starfleet and Juraian medical databases, and my appearance and personality have been based on Ami Mizuno. I am currently undergoing field testing."
The door behind her opened, and Ami walked in. "Are you running...? Oh, hello, Rob! I see you've met the LMH."
"Hi, darling. That I have." He turned his attention back to the LMH. "Do you have a name?"
"I am the Zimmerman-Hakubi Long-term Medical Holographic program, or..." The hologram stopped when she saw Rob shaking his head.
"That's what you are. I'm asking who you are."
Ami sighed. "We hadn't chosen a name for her yet. Unless you've thought of something you like, LMH?"
"Not yet, Ms. Mizuno. Perhaps Mr. Donaldson might have some suggestions."
"Well..." He thought for a moment. "Yuuko — gentle child — oh, but sometimes you'd have to be forceful in order to get a patient to cooperate."
"It is a better name than what I was considering: Ichiko."
"Meaning 'first child'," Ami explained. "She is the prototype, after all."
"What about Akemi?"
"Bright and beautiful? I think your view of me might be influenced by what you think of Ms. Mizuno."
"I was thinking beautiful crystal, actually."
"Because my pattern is stored in computer memory crystals?"
Rob nodded. "And because you are a beautiful woman."
"Mr. Donaldson, should you be complimenting a woman you just met while your girlfriend is in the room?" The LMH smiled.
"He does it all the time, LMH, but he usually only compliments his other girlfriend. Whichever of us is being complimented."
"Your personal life is more complex that I had been lead to believe, Ms. Mizuno."
"It's less complicated than Tenchi Masaki's," Rob pointed out.
"True. And I have come to a conclusion: I do not wish to be called LMH any more. Please call me Akemi."
Ami nodded. "As you wish. Is there a family name that you would prefer to use?"
"I thought that would be obvious. Dr. Zimmerman is essentially my father, after all."
Rob extended his hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Akemi Zimmerman."
She took it, and they shook hands for a moment. "And I'm happy to meet you, Rob Donaldson. Since you've given me my name, does that make you my godfather?"
"I would be honoured to have that role in your life, Akemi."
Lunar Orbit
August 17, 2019
They walked into the Brattain's captain's cabin, which was just as clean and tidy as all of the other cabins had been. Too clean and tidy in Rob's opinion, considering the ship's history... which was probably why Starfleet was willing to simply give it to the Crystal Millennium. Admiral Luna, of course, wasn't about to refuse a free ship, and crewed it with Misaka Sister volunteers.
"Well," Rob commented, "this is your new home away from home." They both looked around, seeing outside the window the work crew repainting the name and registration number on the hull from "USS Brattain NCC-21166" to "CMS Brattain CMS-1". All things considered, it was a pretty nice place. But Starfleet had always been generous with the size of their ships' senior officer quarters, Defiant-class ships notwithstanding.
Even the captain's safe was open and empty. Instead of a tumbler knob, there was a small keyboard inset in the bulkhead above the safe's door.
"I suppose I should put the commissioning paperwork in here, Misaka 13560 comments."
"Haven't you chosen a personal name yet, Misaka-Issa?"
"I am still not accustomed to having an individual name, Misaka Hoshi comments." She put the paperwork into the safe, then tried to close the safe's door. It closed, but wouldn't stay closed.
The computer — which of course sounded exactly like Majel Barrett — announced, "Type in a pass phrase to lock the safe."
Hoshi thought for a moment, then typed in ten keystrokes. The safe's door locked.
Rob smiled. "And of course everybody in the Misaka Network knows that combination now."
Hoshi nodded. "It was Misaka Nana who suggested it, Misaka Hoshi replies. Correction: Misaka Hoshi-Issa replies."
"Now that it's official, congratulations on assuming command of the CMS Brattain, Captain Misaka." He shook her hand. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to share the safe's combination with me in my capacity as Chief Scientist Mizuno's consort and Neo-Queen Serenity's residence manager, would you?"
She looked at him flatly. "That is insufficient need-to-know, Mr. Donaldson. But Misaka Nana says you should be able to figure it out yourself, Misaka-Issa adds."
He thought for a moment, remembered that Nana was the first of the Misaka Sisters to develop a sense of humour, then remembered a rather famous SNL sketch. He walked over to the safe and said the characters as he typed them in. "G-E-T-space-A-space-L-I-F-E."
The safe opened.
He re-closed the safe, turned back to Hoshi, and commented, "You really should pick a password that isn't so easy to guess." Then, after a moment, he added, "And make sure commander-in-chief Aino, Admiral Luna, or somebody on their staff knows what it is."
2020
Crystal Millennium, The Moon
May 5, 2020
"From the person who has everything"
"Remind me again why we're doing this?"
Rei sighed. "Somebody has to do it, Your Royal Highness."
"We have staff! Well-paid staff! Why aren't they doing this?"
"It's because we have staff that we have to be the ones to do this."
Usagi thought about that for a moment. "You've lost me there."
Sometimes, Rei Hino despaired for her queen. This was one of those times. "We're in charge of the Crystal Millennium now, and by agreement you're the face of the Solar System to anybody who wants to deal with people who don't live on Earth and the leader of the magical girls who want to be in a team. Belldandy save us all."
"Hey! I'm not that bad!"
Rei refused to comment.
"I know I'm the Crystal Millennium's top diplomat because of who I am and who I was in my life in the Silver Millennium, Rei. And I also know that you know that that job plus my PoliSci coursework keeps me busy. Too busy to be doing something like this."
"And that's exactly why you're out here doing it."
Usagi blinked as she tried to figure out what Rei was saying. Finally, she said, "You're not making any sense."
"We have money. We have people to do things for us, except study. We can get almost anything that isn't unique just by asking for it and justifying spending tax money on it."
"I don't do that!"
"Neither do I, but we could do that. What we don't have is unlimited time. So the only thing that we can give anybody as a present that means anything..."
"... is our time! Okay, I get it now!"
"Finally!" Rei Hino, Princess Mars, dope-slapped her sovereign... lightly and playfully. "Now can we get back to cleaning Ami's pool for her?"
"After we finish this break. You know what Mako-chan would say if she caught us wasting food, even something like these ice pops."
Rei nodded. "Okay, let's finish our snack, then get back to work."
Source
Crystal Millennium, The Moon
December 12, 2020
"Luna, you used to be an admiral, right?"
The Mau — currently in cat form — turned away from her family and looked up at Rob's question. "That's right. I was one of Queen Serenity's military advisors during the Silver Millennium."
"That implies you and she had a navy. How big was your fleet?"
She sighed deeply. "Before or after Metaria's youma attacked?"
Rob had the grace to look chagrined. "Sorry." After a moment, he continued, "I was hoping that there might have been a few ships somewhere near the ruins of the capital, but that isn't very likely, is it? Even if there was a military base that close to the palace, they... no, you would have deployed every ship you had to defend the capital, wouldn't you?"
Artemis turned to Rob. "Why wouldn't there be a military base at the capital, Rob? There's a Canadian Forces Base here in Ottawa, after all."
"And each princess had a yacht that was hangared there, that last day," Luna added. "They refused to use them to escape — they stood and fought, and died, protecting the civilians."
"I don't suppose you remember where the hangars were?"
Luna gave Rob "the look" that all the females at Blossom had learned from Mikoto Misaka. "They were right beside my own office."
"I hadn't asked you that yet. But I'll ask the $64,000 question now: can you give directions to the hangars that Yuuno and Fujitaka could follow?"
The archaeological dig at the ruins of Moon Castle, Crystal Millennium, The Moon
Same Day
"So how did she die?" asked Usagi,
Yuuno Scrya looked up from the bones just long enough "You don't want to know," he said.
Usagi pouted. "But I love watching True Crime series on television. And it can't be any worse than some of those. Why, there was this one time where they locked this girl in a basement and..."
"OK." Yuuno interrupted her, taking a breath. He sat back on his own heels, giving himself a moment to compose his thoughts and wonder what it was about women and brutal homicides.
"The left leg and lower right arm were disassociated from the remains." He pointed to a another cordoned-off area, about ten meters away. "We found them over there." Another archaeologist was busy cataloging them.
"Ow," said Usagi.
Yuuno nodded "She broke her back, pelvis, several ribs, and this fracture on the jaw here." He beckoned her in close to the bleached remains. "You can actually see where claws tore into the bone, here, here and here."
Usagi loomed in.
"Ooohh."
"Anyway, none of that would've killed her immediately. From the position of the bones and how it looks like she tried to protect herself I'd say she was still alive and conscious when they burned her body."
"Ow," said Usagi, again.
"I don't know who she was — most of the uniform is burned."
Usagi stared down at the remains with grim intensity. The bones stared back up at her through empty eye sockets. Something inside her stirred — a vague familiarity. Yuuno, seeing she'd zoned out, busied himself brushing layers of regolith from between bleached bones. Her fingers — what remained of them — still held on to to a sliver object, the size of a zippo lighter but infinitely more ornate. Even after centuries, it hadn't tarnished.
Ami reached over Yuuno's shoulder and took the device from the corpse's cold dead hand.
Usagi 'eeped' in shock, the spell on her broken by Ami's sudden intrusion.
"Hey!" Yuuno snapped. "You can't just take something from a dig!"
"Why not?" said Ami. "It's mine."
Yuuno blinked in surprise. "Is this...?" he started, motioning toward the body.
"Yes, that's me. How did I die?"
Usagi's face lit up, her mouth snapping open ready to reveal the goriest of details. Yunno's hands smothered the words before they could emerge.
"Quickly," he blurted out. "Very quickly. Almost painless in fact. Just poof and gone. Probably never even realised it happened."
"Ah," Ami nodded, looking down at the device in her hand and carefully not looking at her previous incarnation's corpse.
Usagi steamed, her face already turning a bright cherry red.
Distractedly, Ami said, "Yuuno-kun, Luna has remembered where the Silver Millennium's royal hangar was. Can you send a team to see whether anything's still there, please?"
- RK: Real-life Rob thinks that the world would be boring if we all liked the same things. In-universe Rob hasn't figured that out yet.
- RK: For folks outside of Canada: The United Church of Canada was formed (one hundred years to the day before this chapter was posted to AO3) from a merger of a large fraction of Canadian Methodist, Congregationalist, and Presbyterian churches. One of the United Church's tenets is that Biblical prohibitions that made sense when the Bible was written are not necessarily applicable to the modern world. "Inspired by God" is not the same as "Commanded by God".
- RK: Obviously, Mako-chan isn't a dub fan.
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