Preview: Girls, Girls, Girls

[Bob Schroeck]

WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING -- WARNING
This text file is incomplete, and needs a significant rewrite. Edited to remove most spoilers, but some may still remain. Typos abound. Plot holes exist. Exceedingly short in length. Details have _changed_ since the last edit. The Moon's in the Seventh House, and Jupiter's aligned with Mars. It's raining frogs and blood. Bob Schroeck is actually a Vorlon secret agent. I work for UNIT. Beware dragons.
Read at your own risk.

(EXCERPT BEGINS)
Industrial Might and Logic

in association with

Loon 'n' Toon Productions

proudly present

Legion's Quest: Girls, Girls, Girls
(A Drunkard's Walk Side Story)

by

Whichever of us is foolish enough to claim credit

I. Dinner For How Many?!

George: You know the kind of girls I like. They've got to be
lovers... laughers... dancers...
Edmund: And bonkers.
-- "Blackadder the Third"

"That's not a little girl! That's Godzilla with bangs!"
-- Montana Max

"You're certain?" Ed Becerra stared in baffled fascination at
the mottled brown-and-yellow planet on the view screen.

Minerva suppressed the desire to roll her eyes. "Absolutely,
b'wana. I've run the scans a dozen times from a dozen different
orbits. It *could* have been Earth, but never made it. Stellar
positions say it's the late 20th Century, but the planet is all
bare rock and reducing atmosphere, with a surface temperature to
rival Venus'. And no evidence of even the building blocks of
life." She glanced at the view screen, and the image shimmered
through several successive magnifications until they were staring
at a weathered mountain chain that bore a faint resemblance to
the islands of Japan. "It's dead, Jim."

"*Very* funny, Min. Besides, you're a lot easier on the eyes
than DeForest Kelly ever was." He frowned and stood up. Turning
around, he walked over to an incongruous pole of wood and crystal
that seemed to grow organically from the metal floor of the room.
Merged with the very structure of the Calypso by the near-
immortal elf-mage Valanna Ellantora (formerly the dimensional
traveler known as Twister), it controlled the starship's semi-
random transfers from universe to universe. "Now, why did you
bring us *here*?" he mused out loud. "What the hell is there for
me to do or learn on a sterile and poisonous alternate Earth?"
He shook his head. "It's got to be a mistake. Min, prepare for
rotation, random setting."

She clasped her palms together, closed her eyes and bowed at the
waist. "Inshallah, it shall be as you ask, o mighty Sultan."

"Min..." Ed mock-growled, and Minerva unbent, a playful grin on
her face.

"Destination set, boss. Ready to rotate on your mark," she said.

He gave one last, long glance at the screen. "Rotate, girl."

Nothing happened.

"Um, boss?" Minerva began tentatively.

Ed didn't turn away from the screen. "That damned staff isn't
letting us move, is it?"

"In a word, no."

He swore softly while rubbing the scar on his forehead.

"You could kick it, if it'd make you feel better," Min offered.

"And pull back a smoking stub where my foot used to be," Ed
chuckled, then sighed. "I don't think that'd do us much good,
pretty lady. And I'm half afraid it'd piss the thing off." He
shook his head with a wry smile. "So I think I'll go catch some
much-needed shut-eye."

"Good," Minerva muttered, sotto voce, and Ed attempted to ignore
her with dignity.

"Wake me if anything develops," he added as he headed for his
stateroom.

* * *

*Boss! BOSS! WAKE UP!*

Minerva's panicked cry cut right through the leaden haze of his
sleep, jolting him awake and to his feet almost before he was
aware of it. "Min! What's wrong, girl?" he called to the empty
air as he unthinkingly flung himself out the stateroom door and
into the passageway that lead to the Calypso's bridge.

*Energy surge, b'wana, a *big* one! The signature looks a little
like one of Twister's dimension-hopping spells.*

"Seems like we have visitors, then," Ed replied as he ran down
the hallway. "How far away, Min? Same orbit? Higher?"

*No, Boss!* the panic in her mental voice escalated. *The surge
is coming from Cargo 7!*

Ed skidded to a halt. "*What?*"

*Energy scan spiking right now, Boss! There's a gate opening up
in the middle of the floor!*

Ed took off again. "I'm there, baby."

The cargo bays were farther away than the bridge, but one of the
benefits of a dimensionally transcendent craft is that nothing is
ever *too* far away. Ed arrived at the control booth for Cargo
Bay 7 in less than a minute. The door was dogged open, and
Minerva stood just inside. "They're still coming through," she
whispered as he slid into the darkened room.

There was a control booth for each cargo bay and hold in the
ship, a large room with transparent walls set high above the
floor. A foreman and his assistant could operate all the hold's
automated cargo-handling equipment from its control panels. A
ladder and a small elevator connected the booth with the broad
floor it overlooked.

Carefully, Ed stepped up to the angled sheet of transparent
aluminum that formed the booth's main window. He studied the
whirling hole in space-time below and the small, diverse group
that stood in front and to the sides of it. "Min, check me. Am
I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
(EXCERPT ENDS)
-- Bob

Edit:  Replaced text munged during one of the changes in Yuku ownership with properly wrapped text.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, let's try this again. Technical problems Ed's been suffering caused the original excerpt to go in with a little more material than should have been there. I overreacted and deleted the thread when I really should have just edited his post. I need more sleep.
Anyway, above's what should have been posted. Ed's disclaimer is a little more paranoid than it needs to be -- we actually have about 50K of material in rather good shape, but almost all of it is spoiler-laden.
Anyone who was spoiled for part of the end of DW2, our apologies. Please, please, please don't discuss what you discovered -- I've spent several years trying to keep a lot of secrets about the ending, and that's one of the ones that were supposed to be ultra-secret. I want anyone who didn't stumble over it here to still be able to enjoy the revelation when it happens naturally as part of the story.
Thank you.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bob Schroeck]

Okay, now that chapter 15 of DW2 is released, I can restore at least part of this teaser.

Again, beware that this is a highly-volatile project subject to radical change as the Walk develops. Sana's appearance below reflects a comment that started as a joke, has evolved to a serious consideration, and may yet decay away back into a joke; which is to say, don't take it as gospel for the end of DW3. The number and identities of the girls are likely to change; I am already starting to figure out how to include Rinrin from "Sister Princess" in this gang, for example.

Take it for what it is -- a very raw idea in progress, and enjoy.

-- Bob
-------------------------
Carefully, Ed stepped up to the angled sheet of transparent
aluminum that formed the booth's main window. He studied the
whirling hole in space-time below and the small, diverse group
that stood in front and to the sides of it. "Min, check me. Am
I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

The ACI nodded. "One Herald of Valdemar, complete with
Companion. One small auburn-haired girl, ethnic Japanese,
wearing a variant on a 'Kid Flash' costume." She peered down at
the girl in question, who blurred from wall to wall, standing
still only to chat briefly with the others before careening off
again. Instead of small wings on either side of the yellow cowl,
her costume had holes through which a pair of long auburn
ponytails streamed. "And she seems qualified to wear it. A
blonde wearing a knock-off of Sailor Mercury's fuku." She
paused, blinked, and studied the girl further. "Boss, crank up
the weirdometer another notch. The blonde in the fuku is a dead
ringer for Lisa Vanette from 'Bubblegum Crisis'. Look." One of
the monitors before them flickered to life with a closeup from a
security camera, then split-screened with a photo taken some
years before, during their stop in the BGC world. Physical
statistics scrolled up both sides, with comparisons highlighted.
"Except for being in her mid- to late 20s, she matches the Lisa
we knew to within three significant digits."

"Gah." Ed shook his head as he watched a black cat leap from a
packing crate to the blonde's shoulder, where it perched like a
parrot. The monitor clearly showed a crescent moon on its face.
"And she's got a moon-cat, Min. Or what appears to be a moon-
cat. There's something very wrong here."

Minerva nodded. "Even weirder, boss -- there's something
strangely familiar about the combination of Lisa Vanette and
senshi. I'm going to have to go through my off-line memory,
though, to figure out what."

Ed frowned. "You do that, baby, just later."

"I don't recognize the college-age redhead," Min continued, "nor
the bleach-blonde she and the Herald are chatting with.
Interesting, though. All three of them are discussing magical
theory and... slaying vampires? 'Curiouser and curiouser,'" she
added. "One more oddity to toss into the mix. The Herald is
speaking idiomatic American English. To be precise, her vocal
patterns are pure native Southern California, late 20th Century."

"*What*?" Ed hissed.

"You heard me. Somewhere she learned... Uh-oh," she interrupted
herself.

He closed his eyes briefly. "Uh-oh?"

"Getting another spike," Min noted. "Someone's coming through
the gate... no, make that two... correction, *three* someones..."

There was a moment of silence. Then...

"We're *so* screwed, you know that, Min?"

Absently, she nodded. "Lina Inverse, Rei Ayanami and Skuld.
Together with all those others. B'wana, I have a sneaking
suspicion that we've been dumped into someone's crossover fic."

"What was your first clue?" Ed asked dryly. "What really worries
me is that I've seen pictures of Rei Ayanami in plugsuits, school
uniforms and kimonos, but I've never imagined her in white Nikes,
denim shorts and a 'Lilith Fair' concert t-shirt. Maybe I'm
paranoid, but that bothers me." He paused and reconsidered.
"That, and the fact that she looks about eighteen and has
goddess-marks like Skuld."

"I wonder if they're all ... non-standard in some way," Minerva
mused. Below, in the cargo bay, the three newcomers had added
the backpacks they had been carrying to the small pile of others
which had lurked, previously unnoticed, in the shadow of a stack
of packing cases. Skuld was already intently studying a nearby
data terminal while Lina joined the thaumatology discussion
group. Rei simply stood in the middle of the floor and studied
her surroundings impassively. Behind them, the dimensional
gateway collapsed with an audible pop, then vanished.

"Energy signature is gone, boss. As if you couldn't guess."

Ed nodded absently and stepped towards the elevator. "Well, they
look peaceful so far. Might as well play the gracious host."

Minerva slid to his side. "Are you sure that's a good idea,
B'wana?

Ed snorted. "Hell, no. But it's better than ignoring or
attacking them." He inclined his head toward the elevator.
"Come on, pretty lady. Let's go greet our guests."

* * *

"And then Buffy says to Cordelia, 'Okay, you won't tell anyone
I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron!'"

Lina, Phoebe and Delandra burst out in laughter. "That sounds
just like a couple of people I know," Lina commented. Over Dee's
shoulder, Willow saw Skuld look up from the computer terminal and
scowl, and felt inexplicably guilty for a moment. It was a
familiar sensation these days, and her travels had done little to
make it go away.

Sana ran up and began demanding something in rapid-fire Japanese
while waving her arms energetically; before she had a chance to
get frustrated by the four women's inability to understand her,
though, Lisa stepped over to them, Luna wrapped around her
shoulders like a collar.

"She wants to know what you were laughing about," Lisa said in
her faintly-accented English.

"Oh!" Willow gave a kindly smile to the young Japanese girl. "I
was just telling a story about Buffy. I can tell you later and
you can tell it to her, if you'd like."

Lisa relayed this and listened Sana's response, then smiled.
"Sure, that'd be fine."

"So, like, where do we stand?" Phoebe asked.

"Smell wild magic," Luna murmured from her perch on Lisa's
shoulders.

"Yes, Luna. Good cat." Lisa raised a hand to scratch behind
her familiar's ears. "Like Luna says, there are very strong
traces of wild magic all over this place. He was definitely here
for a while." Lisa waved her free hand in an all-encompassing
gesture. "Wherever 'here' is."

"It's a spaceship," Skuld declared from the computer terminal.
She turned and strode over to the gathering while Lisa updated
Sana in a burst of Japanese.

"A spaceship?" Phoebe's eyebrows crawled up under her hairline.
"Cool." Willow and Tara exchanged surprised glances.

Delandra and Lina looked around blankly. "What's a 'spaceship'?"
they said in unison. From where he stood on the other side of
the room, Sylvath gave a derisive snort. "Oh, shut up, you old
thing. You don't know, either, do you?" Dee called over her
shoulder in Valdemaran as Lisa continued to translate for Sana.

Skuld hopped up on a packing crate next to Willow. "More than
just a spaceship. It's a starship. And really, really
advanced." The others could feel the techno-envy and desire in
her voice.

"Wow," Phoebe and Willow said together. "I wonder who owns it,"
Willow continued.

"I do," a male voice echoed across the room. As one they turned
to locate its source: A dark-haired man on an open elevator that
lowered him slowly from a glass-walled both high on one wall of
the huge room. A black-tressed woman in a cocktail dress that
matched her hair stood with her arm around him and studied them
dispassionately. He raised his hand. "Welcome, ladies, to
Fantasy Island!"

"You're nuts, b'wana, if you think I'm going to do a Herve
Villechaise impression," his companion muttered just loud enough
to carry across the floor.

Edit (5/18/2012):  Replaced text munged during one of the changes in ownership undergone by Yuku with properly wrapped material.  

Also, PLEASE  NOTE:  This cast is now obsolete; several of the Steps that were planned when this was written were abandoned, and in some cases the choice of character who joined the Girls has changed.

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Jorlem]

Out of curiosity, given what we now know about how divinity in the multiverse works, how does that interact with Skuld dimension hopping? Does she remain separate from iterations of herself in the other universes, do they 'merge', or something weirder, like being able to read each others minds?
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[Bob Schroeck]

I've generally ignored that issue, but if forced on short notice to come up with an answer, I'd say it depends on the Overself in question -- and in this case, the Maiden will run multiple Skulds simultaneously.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[itsune9tl]

Jorlem wrote:

---

Out of curiosity, given what we now know about how divinity in the multiverse works, how does that interact with Skuld dimension hopping? Does she remain separate from iterations of herself in the other universes, do they 'merge', or something weirder, like being able to read each others minds?

It gives Skuld a really weird set of dreams while their domains overlap

[Ebony]

Jorlem wrote:

---

Out of curiosity, given what we now know about how divinity in the multiverse works, how does that interact with Skuld dimension hopping? Does she remain separate from iterations of herself in the other universes, do they 'merge', or something weirder, like being able to read each others minds?

It gives Skuld a really weird set of dreams while their domains overlap
  

Actually, it rarely happens, and by that I mean that it happens every Thursday. Usually, she finds herself in some peril, and comes around the corner and face to face with her local iteration, which looks like her, but doesn't. (Some have curly hair, others are older or younger. One has a fifteen foot long scarf and a robotic dog.) Both Skulds say something like, "You're not supposed to be here!" in stereo, then go on to deal with the peril, making snarky comments about each other's intellect or jokes that no one else gets from time to time. They team up to beat the Bad Guy and then there's ice cream, and Skuld gets in her time-traveling Police Call Box and leaves before the space-time continuum is destroyed.
Oh wait... that's the Doctor. Never mind.

  
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Star Ranger4]

THbbbot. But I LIKE the thought of Skulds interacting much the way the Doctors did in the 'Reunion' shows. And the thought of Skuld dressed as Tom Bakers 4th is HILARIOUS to me.

Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Bob Schroeck]

And don't forget a Skuld in a pink trenchcoat.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Star Ranger4]

*shrugs* but that is a look I associate more with master thief Carmen SanDiego than anyone else.

Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[robkelk]

Ah, now I'm tempted to have Skuld meet her counterpart in Fenspace... if only I could figure out who that is.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Bob Schroeck]

Oh, the pink trenchcoat Skuld is from the Dire Fates 'verse -- the setting of a Constantine-AMG crossover written about 11 years ago by David Tai and RPM. (In which after a shared adventure with him, Skuld gets a bad case of crush/hero worship for Constantine and gets her very own trenchcoat. A pink one.)
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.