Yet another anime-like story idea

[Foxboy]

For now, I call this idea "Jailbait."
Typical magical-girlfriend romantic comedies tend to have an appropriate age gap between the nebbish and his girlfriend.
Let's twist it thus: Nebbish makes a wish for a "perfect girlfriend" at age 15 or so. As usual for the genre, he gets it granted, but, in this case, 15 years later. Whether whatever agency granting his wish could not find a suitable girl living at that time and had to raise one from scratch, or they were busy fulfilling a difficult wish like "I wish I was Prezz'dent like mah daddy:" it makes little difference to the comedy that will ensue, because she is the equivalent of 15-16 years old when she meets our nebbish.
Instead of merely being painfully shy, our "hero" also has to deal with the fact that if he takes what is offered, he will go immediately to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. What makes it worse, is that she *IS* a perfect significant other for the nebbish. She argues just enough that their relationship isn't boring. She's attractive but not totally outclassing the guy. Of course, she wants to advance the relationship in a manner that the nebbish would have had no trouble accepting when he was 15-16 himself.
She picked her name while he was ranting about how he was going to jail for getting caught with "lolicon." So our MG is named "Lori Kahn."
Meh. Just an idea that hit me while driving.
Edit: GAH! Bob could you move this to Other People's Fanfiction?
Edit: Done. And I removed the "Please move this" from the subject. -- Bob
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[Bob Schroeck]

That's a sick and twisted idea, Logan, and I like it. You should write it.
I should note that he isn't automatically going to jail -- it all depends on where this takes place. Age of consent varies, after all.
But what fun would it be if it took place somewhere the AOC was 14?
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Foxboy]

Well, let's say the nebbish is an American working in Japan.
While she may be over the age of consent for Japan as a whole, I've read somewhere that the consent law changes depending on whether the older person is gaijin or not.
Plus, allowing for Age of consent to be waved away, there is still the stigma of being a cradle robber... For example, since she is still school age, she goes to school. Her "peers" will be constantly interfering with the advancement of her relationship... once they find out that her "older boyfriend" is in his 30's rather than his late teens. Prior to this, I can see them giving her advice that adds to the comedy goldmine. Teen Cosmo advice columns and "trendy" makeovers, anyone?
Advancement of this is probably going to be along the lines of Ai Yori Aoshi or Ah! My Goddess! That is lots of WAFF more than Fan service...
Hmm. Brainstorming is open, folks. I need:
A dull, dead-end type of job for the nebbish {Lori gets him a better one somehow, something like he has a wasted talent that she would have gotten him to use if she'd been on time}
Lori's "peer group"
Her inevitable rivals and "family", etc.
I'd like to keep her supernatural things limited to her arrival rather than making her a goddess, genie, etc. because our one free premise is Lori herself.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[Rieverre]

---

A dull, dead-end type of job for the nebbish {Lori gets him a better one somehow, something like he has a wasted talent that she would have gotten him to use if she'd been on time}

---

How about the time honored ploy of 'oh, so sorry, but you're here now and we can't do anything about that, somebody else got the job, you get no refund on your plane ticket, have a very nice day gaijin-dono'. Dunno what job that'd have been. He makes ends meet and tries to earn enough to not only feed him for the next month or so but to save up for an airline ticket doing low level code-jockeying/data entry/whatever.
He's got this big stack of printouts and sheets of handwritten stuff that he hauls with him - turns out he's a more than decent writer, in both English and Japanese, but never had the confidence to try and publish his stuff for various reasons. Not the least of which being that most of it was written back when an SO for him was supposed to show up, so it's inventive but a fair bit of it is also in the genre of far too mushy teen-romance stuff (*wince*). Or maybe he just starts to sell ideas, because Lori liked one of the old things so much she took it to school with her, spread it around, and one of her "peer group" has an older sibling who's part of a writers circle, or maybe an illustrator for light novels ...
... you get the idea.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm

[Valles]

I'm having Okusama wa Joshikosei flashbacks. ^_^
That's good, BTW.

---

A dull, dead-end type of job for the nebbish {Lori gets him a better one somehow, something like he has a wasted talent that she would have gotten him to use if she'd been on time}

---

Maybe a patent attourney, like Calvin's dad? Having him as a writer might be a bit too cliche or close to home, although the national origin thing might work for explaining why he's stuck as a junior partner... Or that was the job he should have gotten, but being blocked from it was because of an ambitious so-and-so of a competitor rather than anything to do with his employer (the same company/firm as originally planned - maybe he got shuffled off as a clerk or something).

---

I'd like to keep her supernatural things limited to her arrival rather than making her a goddess, genie, etc. because our one free premise is Lori herself.

---

Hm. Well, this might present a little bit of a problem, because the way these shows seem to work is that the healing and romance all happen in the background of the sheer chaos the girlfriend has turned her beau's life into. OTOH, maybe Mr. Nebbish had a thing for bad girls, and she's some kind of cross between Kuga Natsuki and Kino Makoto. If we use the 'they had to raise her from scratch' option, then that'd make it easy to give her a real live background, with attendant fueding biker gangs, etc.
Plus it'd be a personality type well suited for shaking someone out of a rut.
*shrug* I dunno, that's just the personality type that my brain has latched onto for her.
And watching the trouble her daredevil side gets them into should be fun.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"

[ordnance11]

---

I'm having Okusama wa Joshikosei flashbacks. ^_^
That's good, BTW.

---

I'm having the same vibes too! What happens when our nebbish meets the girl's parent/parents?
The question running thru my mind is what type of girl you'd have to raise from scratch to be a perfect match for our nebbish?
A man in his 30's would be have changed from when he was in his teens. So is the girl the perfect one when he was 16 or 30?
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell

[Foxboy]

And having her be a "bad/tough girl" makes her immediately more interesting than another Belldandy clone. Or, alternatively, the personality that would have made her a "bad girl" fifteen years ago, makes her more "normal" today.
I'm trying to decide how she herself reacts to the fact that her "perfect man" is 15 years older than her and something of a loser... Another thing, she WILL do things a normal 15-year-old would do, because that's what she is. I'm pretty sure she'll dress in the latest fad and regret it further down the line, etc.
Of course, even if she were a Yamato Nadeshiko, she'd have the "bad girl" vibe from having an older boyfriend...
Her rival... could possibly be a woman of a closer age to the nebbish, who would have had nothing to do with him.... until she sees him on a date with an attractive woman and wonders what she sees in him. [i.e., she never sees enough of Lori to guess her age]
Meh still brainstorming. 'Sides, I know as soon as this gets some serious writing behind it, someone will remove my personal safeties on the story and post a lemon on the Addventure...
Okay, double checked a source for one of the examples... the "burnt cookie" personality works for me as well... I'll give it a try.
For those who don't get the reference, a "burnt cookie" is tough and crusty on the outside, sweet and gooey on the inside.
Possible source for the 15-year delay: he was an exchange student back in the day and wished for a girlfriend at one of the various shrines across Japan, but as the PTB were preparing to send him one, he left Japan, and their sphere of influence. His return to Japan set Lori's creation back in motion, and the story begins...
The sad thing is, I can see an old Viz-type anime preview in my head for this.
Script-o-vision
Nebbish (15-yr-old voice): My name is {name} and I made a wish at an old Japanese Shrine.[scene, the temple, 15 yr-old design makes wish] What did I wish for? The perfect girlfriend. [Shots of Lori in alluring/cute poses]
Nebbish (30-yr-old voice): Imagine my surprise when I got my wish. . . [cute meeting scene] 15 years late.
[various weird scenes]
Lori Kahn: So things are going a little different than I pictured it. A thirty-year-old is my perfect man? Who would have thought it? Things are going to be difficult, but love conquers all! New from Viz video, {Actual Name of Story.} Because some things are worth waiting for.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[robkelk]

---

Hmm. Brainstorming is open, folks. I need:

---

Oh, goody...

---

A dull, dead-end type of job for the nebbish

---

High-school English teacher. It's a decent job, but in Japan the pay is just barely enough to live on.
(Aside: If you decide to go to Asia to teach English as a second language, head to Korea. Assuming you get in with one of the reputable schools, you'll actually have some money left at the end of your contract. And you can vacation in Japan if you really want to.)
Making this idea worse, Lori becomes one of his students... which gives both of them a darn good reason to find him a new job. But until they do, they're stuck living in a gender-switched remake of Please Teacher! without the space-opera elements.

---

Lori's "peer group"

---

There are a few cliches for such girls in anime - do you want to stick to them?
Assuming "yes":
* the shy, brainy girl who wears glasses and saves the day with her brains every so often (e.g. Nodoka from Negima!, Neneko from DearS);
* the "loner" who's a bit stand-offish until somebody gets to know her (e.g. Sakaki from Azumanga Daioh);
* the girl who's really, really, really popular with the boys - and hates it (e.g. Akane from Ranma 1/2);
* the girl with a crush on one of the boys, who either doesn't know or doesn't care until Something Happens (e.g. Wakaba from Utena, Midori from Midori Days);
* the self-assured "iincho" (class president) (e.g. Ayaka from Negima!, Nanakarobi from Happy Lesson);
* the "iincho" who panics whenever she needs to exert her aithority (e.g. Chiyo from Azumanga Daioh) - obviously incompatable with the above stereotype, since each class has only one class president; and
* the outsider who Just Doesn't Understand How Things Are Done Here (e.g. Ayumu from Azumanga Daioh, Sarah from Love Hina) - a wonderful exposition device, which is why there's always one in each peer group.

---

Her inevitable rivals and "family", etc.

---

With the family name "Khan", the family simply has to be descended from Mongol warlords... so if this is a comedy, make them mild-mannered (or maybe even cowardly).
If the Lead Male Character is good enough for Lori, he's equally good enough for her year-younger sister. Comedy ensues...
Since Lori's a "wish girl", she's going to be pretty, and many, many boys will be interested in her... but one of those boys is special in some way, and Lori notices him because of that.
And one of Lori's teachers will discover the relationship... and either strongly disapprove or secretly approve. If the former, then the lovebirds find out quickly and have to Do Something. If the latter, then the teacher runs interference for the couple without them finding out until the final episode.
Hope this helps...

-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Bob Schroeck]

---

There are a few cliches for such girls in anime - do you want to stick to them?

---

* The genki girl ditz (Tomo in Azumanga Daioh)
* The athletic tomboy who gets loveletters from other girls but has a secret crush on an upperclassman boy (or better yet, on Our Hero) (Nagisa from Futari Wa Pretty Cure)

---

With the family name "Khan", the family simply has to be descended from Mongol warlords...

---

Or it's spelled "Kahn" and they're Jewish.
Yes, there are ethnically and culturally Japanese Jews. Believe it or not.
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...

[Morganite]

---

But what fun would it be if it took place somewhere the AOC was 14?

---

ObLori: I think it'd be a lot of fun. *pout*

---

And one of Lori's teachers will discover the relationship... and either strongly disapprove or secretly approve. If the former, then the lovebirds find out quickly and have to Do Something. If the latter, then the teacher runs interference for the couple without them finding out until the final episode.

---

How about one of each? Who then get in each other's way. '.'
-Morgan.
"I have no interest in ordinary humans. If there are any aliens, time travelers, or espers here, come sleep with me."
---From "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
-----(Not really)

[Foxboy]

I kinda prefer the Kahn, making Lori, if she's Japanese, an Ai no ko. But the last name is just to provide a pun... is "Roriko" a viable Japanese girl's name? Heck, we could use "Konda" if it means anything...
Edit: I checked with my handy kanji dictionary and found that, among other things I could write it with the characters for "Now" or "Reclaim (as land)" and "Come to terms." Unusual, but since this is supposed to be a comedy...
And FYI, if you've forgotten, comedy doesn't necessarily mean a laugh riot at every turn: it originally meant any play, poem, etc. with a happy ending.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[nemonowan]

Are you going to call this "Chokotto Girlfriend"? ^_^
NN

[ordnance11]

---

How about one of each? Who then get in each other's way. '.'

---

Heh, have the teacher who disapproves is a woman (and has a crush on our nebbish)
The one who approves is a guy (and has a crush on the female teacher). That gives him a very good reason to cover for our nebbish.
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell

[Acyl]

---

Heh, have the teacher who disapproves is a woman (and has a crush on our nebbish)
The one who approves is a guy (and has a crush on the female teacher). That gives him a very good reason to cover for our nebbish.

---

That's a good idea...
...but, hey, why not have the teacher who disapproves...be a man with a crush on our hero, and the one who approves a woman with a crush on...
What? It's in-genre.
-- Acyl

[robkelk]

---

What? It's in-genre.

---

Only for a Studio CLAMP story...

-Rob Kelk
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[DHBirr]

---

Or it's spelled "Kahn" and they're Jewish.
Yes, there are ethnically and culturally Japanese Jews. Believe it or not.

---

There was an X-Men story arc many years ago that ended in Japan with Kitty Pryde saying she knew of an ice cream place. When they get there, the name on the sign is "Shapiro" and Kitty is saying, stunned, to a fat, jolly Japanese, "You're Mr. Shapiro?!" His response is, "So, nu, who else would I be?"
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Bob Schroeck]

My favorite along those lines is a story about Benny from Brooklyn, who takes a trip to Tokyo. But one of the High Holy Days falls during his trip, and naturally enough he wants to go to a synagogue that day. He doesn't expect to find one in Tokyo, but the hotel's concierge goes, "Oh, yes, here's the address." Surprised but please, Benny goes there, and is stunned to find that everyone there is Japanese. Even the rabbi is Japanese. But Benny sits down, and the service is just like the one he knows from Brooklyn, and he falls right in. Afterward, he introduces himself to the rabbi, who looks more like a statue of the Buddha. The rabbi looks him up and down and says, "Funny, you don't look Jewish!"
-- Bob
---------
...The President is on the line
As ninety-nine crab rangoons go by...