Acyl Reviews BlazBlue
09-02-2009, 01:30 PM
I've played BlazBlue. I don't own a PS3, but I log significant time on my friend's machine.
...uh, in fact, said PS3's connected to my TV, right now, as I type this. Anyway, so.
Acyl Reviews BlazBlue
(or an exclusive look at the world's first fighting game to feature official ecchi merchandise of a lolita immortal and a freaky catgir---oh wait, what do you mean this isn't a Darkstalkers sequel?)
Gameplay: 9 cats out of Pi
The thing about BlazBlue, from a game design perspective - it has a low barrier for entry. The character moves are not difficult to do, and the console version even comes with 'macros' to help you execute the more tricky stuff with a single stick twitch.
But each character has entirely different mechanics. More so than any other fighter I've seen, and I've seen a lot of fighting games. I've played most, really. I like the genre, though I suck at it. =)
Take Hakumen. His super meter works ENTIRELY DIFFERENTLY from all the other characters. Everyone else gains super by taking damage and dealing damage. Hakumen's super meter increases as time goes by. It's a fixed rate of super gain, slowly ticking over - his super meter graphic even looks different from all the others.
That tells you a lot about BlazBlue's design. This is good; it really adds to the characterisation and feel of each character - they are unique. The game is not just about spamming buttons and memorising combos, but understanding what each character can do. For instance, Ragna has very very low health...but he can drain health from his opponent by attacking. That's simple enough.
But then you have Carl, who uses a humanoid puppet that can be independently activated for attacks. Or v-13/Nu, who has more ranged blasts than a WWII battleship but very little close-in game. Every character is insanely different, and the real challenge in BlazBlue is using your character's special traits well, and learning how to deal with other characters' unique qualities.
However...
Story Mode: Over 9000 power levels
I agree that BlazBlue's story mode is better than any other fighting game, in terms of production qualities and time spent. And it's not like the competition has particularly good story modes to compare with.
For the uninitiated; BlazBlue's story modes play essentially like Japanese visual novel games. They are fully voiced (with English and Japanese dub tracks). There's very little real video or animation; most of the time it's talking heads against a background. But occasionally there are unique pieces of artwork.
There's also more than one story path for each character. Eventually you will unlock the 'True Ending' path, and that does have bits of full anime video. Not very LONG bits of video, but still...
You can also unlock these superdeformed flash-video style animations that explain background info in a classroom setting. Litchi and other characters trying to teach Taokata (a ditzy catgirl) about the world of BlazBlue. These too are fully voiced.
So it's clear that BlazBlue has high production values and a LOT of story material. However...
The story is crap. You really have to realise this. It's crap.
No, I mean, really, it's awful. It's amusing from time to time - I really like Bang's story paths, for instance - but this is NOT VERY GOOD WRITING. No matter how much money they've spent on it, it's still a fighting game storyline. It's not very good, full of cliches, etc.
Of course, that can be awesome too. It's like a summer blockbuster action movie, yeah? It's not very GOOD, indeed it's the opposite of good - but make it bad enough, and it achieves critical mass of awesomesauce.
Plot Summary: WHAT YOU SAY?!
See, c'mon, I mean, look. The main BlazBlue storyline involves old sibling rivalries, mysterious forgotten pasts, amnesia, time loops, time travel, incredible ancient cosmic powers, human experimentation...
And I'm only talking about the storyline involving Ragna, Jin, and Noel here. It is as convoluted as it sounds.
However, I'm Acyl, and I'm here to help.
BlazBlue is a story about a dude with a giant sword (Ragna), his psychotic brother who freezes people (Jin), and their gun-wielding sister/childhood friend/some-chick-they-hung-around-with (Noel).
SPOILER TEXT IN WHITE ZOMGLOL: Something really bad happened when they were kids. But that might not matter because the world's stuck in a time loop, and Noel is actually part of some cybernetic apocalyptic doomsday machine or somesuch, because there's this cybernetic killer doll hooked up to said BIG HONKING DOOMSDAY MACHINE that looks just like her, and they have a mental bond or something. Oh, and Ragna, the guy with the giant sword...is like that because he has an ancient mystical artifact attached to his arm. Except it's not really the real artifact but rather a cunning copy, possibly made in China. Somewhere along the way, he was also trained by an ancient hero. Which may or may not have something to do with the fact that he and Noel are instrumental in ENDING THE ENTIRE WORLD in technological fire, but hey, what can you do. Oh yeah, did I mention there's time travel involved? And of course we can't forget Jin, who has a weird fixtation on his brother Ragna, that may or may not be murderous. Or possibly romantic, depending on whether you believe the yaoi fangirls or not (Jin: "BROOOOOTHER!" @_@). He also went to school with Noel. Apparently. Oh, yeah, by the way - there's a hint that Hakumen, who is the summoned ghost of an ancient hero (technologically bound into a suit of armor by a faction of mad scientists), is possibly a version of Jin who was sent back in time (by a loli omnipotent vampire). Which is good to know, because it proves that Jin is such a big asshole he manages to be an ass all the way across the time-space-continuum.
No, no, I'm serious, this is all in BlazBlue story mode. I'm not making this up. You can't make this shit up. And this is just the story path for three of the characters. Admittedly, they're the three main characters, but yes, all that is just them.
In conclusion, then, BlazBlue is the best fighting game ever. Highly recommended. Play it if you can. I believe it's out for PS3 and XBox 360. No, I'm totally serious here. It is the best fighting game ever.
By the way, you can buy body-pillowcases of the scantily dressed female characters from the official website.
Truly, this is marketing genius that the world hasn't seen sinc----wait, whadda ya mean BlazBlue isn't an Evangelion spinoff?
-- Acyl
