Tomorrow Mourning, aka, a joke I am proud of
01-21-2024, 03:53 PM (This post was last modified: 01-21-2024, 03:54 PM by Sofaspud.)
01-21-2024, 03:53 PM (This post was last modified: 01-21-2024, 03:54 PM by Sofaspud.)
So a while back I rolled up a zombies mastermind mostly just to see what zombies were all about. Hat tip to Bushranger in the Discord channel for the name, because I wanted /Time secondary.
Then I had to come up with a schtick, because ... well, I have to. I can't not. It's a curse.
So I present to you... Tomorrow Mourning's in-game bio, plus more:
Welcome to Tomorrow Mourning(tm), Paragon's finest post-living general services contractor! Our trained and licensed morticians use only all-natural components and guaranteed safe thaumaturgic rituals. Unlike some of our competitors, you'll never have to worry about your dearly departed joining some mindless horde of brain-eaters! Our franchise operators are all licensed and fully equipped to make sure that your former loved ones will return to their grave in like-newly-dead condition*, and not roam the neighborhood indefinitely, scaring children and eating people's pets.
Ask your Tomorrow Mourning Sales Representative about our no-scuff treatment! For that long-lasting like-living shine!
Tomorrow Mourning(tm)! We're never more than a day away!
* minus normal wear and tear. Money-back guarantee subject to limitations and conditions. Discounts available for bulk orders. Void where prohibited.
Daphne is the Senior Field Mortician. Phil is the newly-hired Provisional Mortician. Their manager, Mr. Hooper, tends to stay in the office and send them to do the dirty work -- though he'll step in sometimes if needed to tackle a particularly big job.
You may also notice a... recurring theme... among the minions.
And yes, I color-matched a certain cell phone company's color as best I could, because with those initials, how could I not?
(why, no, I don't tend to carry jokes too far, whatever do you mean?)
Then I had to come up with a schtick, because ... well, I have to. I can't not. It's a curse.
So I present to you... Tomorrow Mourning's in-game bio, plus more:
Welcome to Tomorrow Mourning(tm), Paragon's finest post-living general services contractor! Our trained and licensed morticians use only all-natural components and guaranteed safe thaumaturgic rituals. Unlike some of our competitors, you'll never have to worry about your dearly departed joining some mindless horde of brain-eaters! Our franchise operators are all licensed and fully equipped to make sure that your former loved ones will return to their grave in like-newly-dead condition*, and not roam the neighborhood indefinitely, scaring children and eating people's pets.
Ask your Tomorrow Mourning Sales Representative about our no-scuff treatment! For that long-lasting like-living shine!
Tomorrow Mourning(tm)! We're never more than a day away!
* minus normal wear and tear. Money-back guarantee subject to limitations and conditions. Discounts available for bulk orders. Void where prohibited.
Daphne is the Senior Field Mortician. Phil is the newly-hired Provisional Mortician. Their manager, Mr. Hooper, tends to stay in the office and send them to do the dirty work -- though he'll step in sometimes if needed to tackle a particularly big job.
You may also notice a... recurring theme... among the minions.
And yes, I color-matched a certain cell phone company's color as best I could, because with those initials, how could I not?
(why, no, I don't tend to carry jokes too far, whatever do you mean?)
--sofaspud
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