Rumors of the Unknown Test Hero (aka Stiggisms)

[Ransan]

For those of you who don't know, I recently rolled a toon called "Unknown Test Hero" to answer some questions I have that has cropped up regarding some things in COH.I have based this character's looks on the Top Gear persona "The Stig" and herald him as "The Stig's super-powered cousin".
For those of you who don't know ANYTHING about the Stig, his Wikipedia page is here.
Now, as mentioned in the article, whenever the Top Gear announcers introduce The Stig, they say some rumors about him, known as Stiggisms. These rumors always start with start with "Some say" and always end with "All we know is, he's called the Stig!" I find these amusing and make it a point to come up with one every time I bring him out or mention him in chat.
Because people asked for it, this post is going to include all the "Stiggisms" I made thusfar for Unknown Test Hero. I will keep addng as I come up with new ones. Enjoy.

• "Some say that he was created by Crey to fight the oncoming Praetorian threat, and also that he's the only guy that we could find to fit in the suit."
• "Some say that without his helmet he bears a striking resemblance to David Bowie, and that he once won the International Weight Lifting Championship using only his penis."
• "Some say he eats Hellions roasted on a spit, and he once thought Statesmans's Mask was used for contraception."
• "Some say his secret weakness is Cheez Whiz, and he once thought "The Leak Song" was a form of bathroom behavior."
  

All we know is, he's NOT the Stig, but he IS the Stig's super-powered cousin!

[Wiregeek]

Some say that he's actually a refugee from World of Warcraft, others believe that the massive erection he gets from Rad Aura is coincidence.

Some say that Ghost Widow has him on speed dial. Others believe that he's the reason NCSoft can't hold onto a developer for more than two years.

Some say that Evangelia stuffed the ballot box in the poll, and now we're happy to introduce... Cuddles!
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger."
From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies

[Ebony]

Some say that he's the reason that Sister Psyche and Manticore are fighting, and that he makes the coffee that Arbiter Sands flies to Paragon for.
Some say that Numero Catorce offered to teach him the Kick of Justice, only to find out that he had already figured it out on his own.
Some say that he is a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, baked in a fortune cookie, and that he is the ultimate piece of purple salvage.
Some say that he has an infinite line of credit at Wentworth's, and that he chooses DJ Zero's playlist.
There are those that call him, "Tim," but they are looked at funny and promptly ignored.
Some say he built a secret underwater canal for Sally, so that she could get out of Croatoa and away from the papparazzi.
Some say that the Winter Lord won't ice up the roads in Paragon, because it would interfere with his driving.
Some say that he is the Most Interesting Man in the World, but that would be a violation of trademark, so we won't.
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Star Ranger4]

Some say he can overcome Terrance Knights wandering curse...
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky?
That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry-
NO QUARTER!!!
-- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children

[Bob Schroeck]

Some say that like a dog he can only see in black and white, and that he lets the Icon staff select his clothing off the rack.

Some say that he's one of the missing original members of the Legendary, and that he hides behind a mask so that Evangelia can't bill him for unpaid dues.

Some say that he's so good at what he does he never actually has to get into a car, and that even the tram sets records when he rides on it.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Rev Dark]

Some say his head was nailed to the floor by the Pirahna Brothers, and that he cavorts with giant hedgehogs...DINSDALE!