Annoymoosaga's Monster Girl Saga( Recommendation )

[iii]

Annoymoosaga's Monster Girl Saga Is one of the most amazing MGE fanfic's I've ever read read. It's another one of those "Person is transported into MGE" Storys, but man, its way more than that! The person in question not only wants to escape, he also wants to fix the very screwed up world. There is smut, but the author saves most of it for side chapters labeled "Lewd" and it doesn't drive the plot. Link is here: http://anonymoosesaga.pbworks.com/w/page...troduction
Also, I've created an All The Tropes article for this fanfiction, but it's a work in progress. It can be found and edited here: https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Anonymoose..._Girl_Saga
Edit: I just posted a poll on this website's reception of the fanfiction. I'm just curious what others think of it.

[classicdrogn]

Ch2 at least has unmarked lewds, just as a warning. Overall, it reads a lot like the pokegirl stuff on the Unending BE Addventure around the turn of the century, about equal to a roughly amateur-translated light novel, adult author whose English is a second language, or a high-school teen trying very hard to write at a higher level. (Of course, the quality has probably improved in the years since the first chapters, but that's my impression of the beginning. Catching a CharMelons for his starter does play into that as well...)

[Acyl]

I agree with classicdrogn. The writing isn't very elegant, and that's a problem for me. It's technically accurate and there are no obvious grammar or spelling errors, so at least it clears that bar of quality, and the author is trying. But there's something vaguely awkward and not completely fluid about the prose.

There's an Issac Asimov article where Asimov argues that fiction writing should be as functional as possible. That is to say, if you want to say the sun rose in the morning, you say... the sun rose in the morning. No excessive description, no excessive adjectives. Nothing but the bare minimum of what you need. Now, I don't entirely agree with that, because there definitely are authors who can write beautiful prose descriptions of things and really make use of the language.

The trouble is, most people can't do that. I include myself in that category. Playing with the language isn't easy.

The author of this story isn't trying painfully hard, the writing isn't extremely purple or anything. But they are trying to be descriptive. They're adding lots of qualifying lines, extra sentences and words to paint a picture... and it isn't working. It just isn't. At least for me. Just comes across as sort of clumsy. Which means it becomes an active barrier for me - it actually stops me from reading, since I keep interrupting myself and thinking, wait, what?

Mind you, that isn't necessarily a damning thing, it just means that some random person named Acyl on the Internet can't read this stuff. Acyl has failed to read a lot of things.

If you enjoy it, then that's what matters.