Lieutenant McAfee sighed as he examined the warehouse that the recent
shoot-out occurred in. The only thing approaching good news is that the
'target' of the various factions involved decided to run instead of
fighting back. This meant he was either caught off guard or didn't like
weapons. If it was the latter, arresting him would be relatively simple.
Assuming they could find him.
"Ell Tee, you might want to take a look at this," The voice of Reed, the
detective assigned to the scene broke into MacAfee's thoughts. "While
the suspect took a lot of stuff with him, he didn't take all of it.
Looks like an external hard-drive."
The lieutenant quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? That is good news. Take it to the evidence room."
"Yes sir."
***
"Okay, Ell Tee, we've gone over the files on the hard-drive. Just a
bunch of CAD designs for powerplants and some audio files. We're going
to play the audio files now, and thought you might want to be present."
"You thought correctly."
"... *Kshhst*... Audio log of g~k:^*)f a@'%#l, July 16, 2008. Teosag has
wandered off somewhere, leaving me and Hera alone. While Hera's
wonderful company, she's just a cat. Even if I am beginning to suspect
she's smarter then I am. We still have no clue what to do with the
submarine now that the 'shiny factor' has worn off, which might be why
he left. If he is looking for things to do with it, I hope he lets me
know... As long as it doesn't involve criminal activity. I'm pretty
sure my soul, if I have one, has it's fair share of stains, but those
are from just living life. No reason to actively seek out bad karma."
"Mrow."
"Hm?"
"Merrow!"
"Oh! Sure I can play with you. I need something to do other then sitting around moping anyway. End log."
"Well, unless things changed dramatically in the last few months, It's
unlikely that he was actually involved in anything we're investigating."
"It is entirely possible he is lying. Or things did change abruptly and dramatically. Play the next file."
"Mrow. Meer. Meeerow. Meeer..."
McAfee glared at the technician, who wilted. "... If this is a joke, I'm not laughing."
"No Sir! Not a joke."
"Eh?" The voice from the first recording broke in. "Hera? When did you learn to operate the computer?"
"Mew."
"Oh. That long ago? I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. The miracle goop lives up to its name."
Reeds blinked. "So he is involved with Handwavium, whatever else he's done. At least he seems more stable then The Professor."
"That's NOT saying much. I don't think we're going to get anything else from this recording. Next."
"Audio log of j%!l $~(d}f, September Eighth, 2008. Hera, despite her
attempts to keep me from falling into a pit is beginning to show the
same signs of strain I've been under. If it wasn't for what it did to
granddad, I'd be tempted to take up drinking. Still no clue what to do
with the submarine. I guess we could refit it so it's more of an
exploration or research vessel then a combat one, but I have no clue how
to even begin to pull that off... and I rather suspect we lack the
funds. At least my talent with electricity is keeping food on the table
and net access available. Maybe I should take a look at some of the
online games to keep myself occupied and not thinking about how bad
things are... End log."
"Hmph. So we know things weren't going well for him then. Possible motive for what we're investigating him for."
"... You'll need a LOT more then a possible motive to say he was actually involved in drug running, Ell Tee."
"We'll find it. The idiot was mucking about with Handwavium, so he's gotta have something else hidden. Next."
"Of course, Sir. Just because one lunatic with the stuff is an
international criminal means that everyone else who even comes into
contact with the stuff needs to be shot for having a vague potential
motive. Sir."
McAfee shot Reeds a dark look, but was interrupted by the next audio
file beginning to play. "Oh, you know the routine by now. September
twenty first, 2008. Still nothing interesting. Been mucking around on
IRCs. Been hearing rumors of a decent gaming one, but haven't been able
to nail it down yet. At least looking for it is keeping me occupied. Now
I just need to find something for Hera to do. She's getting odd. End
log."
Reeds shrugged. "Still nothing useful. Next."
"September thirtieth. Found out why Hera's been acting so odd.
Apparently, she's befriended the local owl population. Not entirely
certain how she pulled that off, or why. She doesn't normally like other
animals... IRC hunt still not turning up much, but I got into contact
with Teosag again. Tossed him a couple of plans for re-working the
submarine. Let's see what he says, if anything. End log."
"So he's gathering his gang back together, eh? And 'the owl population'
is obviously a code phrase for something, probably the local talent..."
Reeds gave McAfee a disbelieving stare. "...Did you drink expresso
again? You don't NORMALLY indulge in conspiracy theories without a lot
more evidence then this. Next file, please."
"Audio log of... Oh heck. Just call me Ganti. That's all I seem to
answer to nowadays. Anyway, it's November Ninth, 2008. Still nothing
from Teosag. I've taken to designing power plants in my spare time. It's
actually pretty interesting. The owls that moved in are friendly and
easy to get along with. I do wish they'd stop leaving me dead rats, as
I'm not one of Pratchetts dwarves."
"So they've been killing spies in their ranks. If we can find and ID the
corpses we should be able to tack on murder charges as well..."
"Oh yes. Rats is slang for spies. It has nothing to do with the fact he
can apparently hold meaningful conversations with his cat and we found a
large pile of rodent corpses next to the doorway. Or the number of
actual owls roosting in the rafters. Absolutely nothing."
"Anyway, aside from the buildup of tiny little corpses, not much has
been happening. I'm tempted to toss some of the power plant designs to
one of the electric companies just to see what happens. End log."
"Sabotaging the power grid! Add that to the list of charges!"
A deep groan from the doorway brought the groups attention to an old man
who had just entered the room. "... What's McAfee on about this time?
Weren't you assigned to investigate a possible drug smuggler?"
"I think he got into the expresso again, Chief. Also, the only thing the
suspects involved that's even approaching illegal so far is Handwavium
possession. And that's pretty sketchy. It could just be a brush with it
that granted his cat increased intelligence."
"Ugh. Thank you, Reeds. McAfee, you're on break. And don't touch any more caffeine!"
***
"Okay Reeds. Now that McAfee is sleeping off the caffeine, what's the case look like so far?"
"So far it looks like the suspect is clean with the possible exception
of Handwavium possession. And I'm not entirely certain what our stance
is on that. As a US citizen it's illegal for him to possess it over
there, but..."
"Not really our department. If you know anyone with links to Fenspace,
give them with a heads up that they might be getting another citizen
soon."
"Why would we want to do that, Sir? They can look after themselves."
"He's got a mostly functional WW2 era submarine, Reeds. They hadn't even finished De-milling it, you know."
"Odds are good he's already up there, Chief."
"True. Finish up going through the evidence, and if you don't find
anything, I think we can officially declare this case closed."
"Can do Chief. Not much more to go through anyway."
"Dismissed."
***
"Audio log, November 19th. Teosag has returned, bearing gifts. I've got
no clue where he got these papers on electric theory, and I'm pretty
sure I don't WANT to know. What I do know is that this is cutting edge
stuff. Really cutting edge stuff. That scares me nearly as much as the
fact that I can see all sorts of errors in the theory does. I'm good,
but not that good. But I can still see the errors. And how to fix
them... It's more then a little disturbing. With just a few alterations I
can make... it... work... Yes, it WILL work. IT WILL WORK!
BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"MROW!"
"Och heel, nae thes again laddie!"
"KIWICK!"
As the recording devolved into chaos, Reeds switched it off. "... Well,
at least he's pretty sane by mad scientist standards. Not that that's
saying much. Still no evidence of any actual wrongdoing, except maybe to
the laws of physics. That's a bit... out of my jurisdiction. Thank
goodness."
AN: Yeah, this was from the point of view of a bunch of 'Danelaw police. Don't expect any of them to be showing up again, with the possible exception of Reeds. The snarky detective grew on me while I was writing this.
shoot-out occurred in. The only thing approaching good news is that the
'target' of the various factions involved decided to run instead of
fighting back. This meant he was either caught off guard or didn't like
weapons. If it was the latter, arresting him would be relatively simple.
Assuming they could find him.
"Ell Tee, you might want to take a look at this," The voice of Reed, the
detective assigned to the scene broke into MacAfee's thoughts. "While
the suspect took a lot of stuff with him, he didn't take all of it.
Looks like an external hard-drive."
The lieutenant quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? That is good news. Take it to the evidence room."
"Yes sir."
***
"Okay, Ell Tee, we've gone over the files on the hard-drive. Just a
bunch of CAD designs for powerplants and some audio files. We're going
to play the audio files now, and thought you might want to be present."
"You thought correctly."
"... *Kshhst*... Audio log of g~k:^*)f a@'%#l, July 16, 2008. Teosag has
wandered off somewhere, leaving me and Hera alone. While Hera's
wonderful company, she's just a cat. Even if I am beginning to suspect
she's smarter then I am. We still have no clue what to do with the
submarine now that the 'shiny factor' has worn off, which might be why
he left. If he is looking for things to do with it, I hope he lets me
know... As long as it doesn't involve criminal activity. I'm pretty
sure my soul, if I have one, has it's fair share of stains, but those
are from just living life. No reason to actively seek out bad karma."
"Mrow."
"Hm?"
"Merrow!"
"Oh! Sure I can play with you. I need something to do other then sitting around moping anyway. End log."
"Well, unless things changed dramatically in the last few months, It's
unlikely that he was actually involved in anything we're investigating."
"It is entirely possible he is lying. Or things did change abruptly and dramatically. Play the next file."
"Mrow. Meer. Meeerow. Meeer..."
McAfee glared at the technician, who wilted. "... If this is a joke, I'm not laughing."
"No Sir! Not a joke."
"Eh?" The voice from the first recording broke in. "Hera? When did you learn to operate the computer?"
"Mew."
"Oh. That long ago? I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised. The miracle goop lives up to its name."
Reeds blinked. "So he is involved with Handwavium, whatever else he's done. At least he seems more stable then The Professor."
"That's NOT saying much. I don't think we're going to get anything else from this recording. Next."
"Audio log of j%!l $~(d}f, September Eighth, 2008. Hera, despite her
attempts to keep me from falling into a pit is beginning to show the
same signs of strain I've been under. If it wasn't for what it did to
granddad, I'd be tempted to take up drinking. Still no clue what to do
with the submarine. I guess we could refit it so it's more of an
exploration or research vessel then a combat one, but I have no clue how
to even begin to pull that off... and I rather suspect we lack the
funds. At least my talent with electricity is keeping food on the table
and net access available. Maybe I should take a look at some of the
online games to keep myself occupied and not thinking about how bad
things are... End log."
"Hmph. So we know things weren't going well for him then. Possible motive for what we're investigating him for."
"... You'll need a LOT more then a possible motive to say he was actually involved in drug running, Ell Tee."
"We'll find it. The idiot was mucking about with Handwavium, so he's gotta have something else hidden. Next."
"Of course, Sir. Just because one lunatic with the stuff is an
international criminal means that everyone else who even comes into
contact with the stuff needs to be shot for having a vague potential
motive. Sir."
McAfee shot Reeds a dark look, but was interrupted by the next audio
file beginning to play. "Oh, you know the routine by now. September
twenty first, 2008. Still nothing interesting. Been mucking around on
IRCs. Been hearing rumors of a decent gaming one, but haven't been able
to nail it down yet. At least looking for it is keeping me occupied. Now
I just need to find something for Hera to do. She's getting odd. End
log."
Reeds shrugged. "Still nothing useful. Next."
"September thirtieth. Found out why Hera's been acting so odd.
Apparently, she's befriended the local owl population. Not entirely
certain how she pulled that off, or why. She doesn't normally like other
animals... IRC hunt still not turning up much, but I got into contact
with Teosag again. Tossed him a couple of plans for re-working the
submarine. Let's see what he says, if anything. End log."
"So he's gathering his gang back together, eh? And 'the owl population'
is obviously a code phrase for something, probably the local talent..."
Reeds gave McAfee a disbelieving stare. "...Did you drink expresso
again? You don't NORMALLY indulge in conspiracy theories without a lot
more evidence then this. Next file, please."
"Audio log of... Oh heck. Just call me Ganti. That's all I seem to
answer to nowadays. Anyway, it's November Ninth, 2008. Still nothing
from Teosag. I've taken to designing power plants in my spare time. It's
actually pretty interesting. The owls that moved in are friendly and
easy to get along with. I do wish they'd stop leaving me dead rats, as
I'm not one of Pratchetts dwarves."
"So they've been killing spies in their ranks. If we can find and ID the
corpses we should be able to tack on murder charges as well..."
"Oh yes. Rats is slang for spies. It has nothing to do with the fact he
can apparently hold meaningful conversations with his cat and we found a
large pile of rodent corpses next to the doorway. Or the number of
actual owls roosting in the rafters. Absolutely nothing."
"Anyway, aside from the buildup of tiny little corpses, not much has
been happening. I'm tempted to toss some of the power plant designs to
one of the electric companies just to see what happens. End log."
"Sabotaging the power grid! Add that to the list of charges!"
A deep groan from the doorway brought the groups attention to an old man
who had just entered the room. "... What's McAfee on about this time?
Weren't you assigned to investigate a possible drug smuggler?"
"I think he got into the expresso again, Chief. Also, the only thing the
suspects involved that's even approaching illegal so far is Handwavium
possession. And that's pretty sketchy. It could just be a brush with it
that granted his cat increased intelligence."
"Ugh. Thank you, Reeds. McAfee, you're on break. And don't touch any more caffeine!"
***
"Okay Reeds. Now that McAfee is sleeping off the caffeine, what's the case look like so far?"
"So far it looks like the suspect is clean with the possible exception
of Handwavium possession. And I'm not entirely certain what our stance
is on that. As a US citizen it's illegal for him to possess it over
there, but..."
"Not really our department. If you know anyone with links to Fenspace,
give them with a heads up that they might be getting another citizen
soon."
"Why would we want to do that, Sir? They can look after themselves."
"He's got a mostly functional WW2 era submarine, Reeds. They hadn't even finished De-milling it, you know."
"Odds are good he's already up there, Chief."
"True. Finish up going through the evidence, and if you don't find
anything, I think we can officially declare this case closed."
"Can do Chief. Not much more to go through anyway."
"Dismissed."
***
"Audio log, November 19th. Teosag has returned, bearing gifts. I've got
no clue where he got these papers on electric theory, and I'm pretty
sure I don't WANT to know. What I do know is that this is cutting edge
stuff. Really cutting edge stuff. That scares me nearly as much as the
fact that I can see all sorts of errors in the theory does. I'm good,
but not that good. But I can still see the errors. And how to fix
them... It's more then a little disturbing. With just a few alterations I
can make... it... work... Yes, it WILL work. IT WILL WORK!
BWAHAHAHAHA!"
"MROW!"
"Och heel, nae thes again laddie!"
"KIWICK!"
As the recording devolved into chaos, Reeds switched it off. "... Well,
at least he's pretty sane by mad scientist standards. Not that that's
saying much. Still no evidence of any actual wrongdoing, except maybe to
the laws of physics. That's a bit... out of my jurisdiction. Thank
goodness."
AN: Yeah, this was from the point of view of a bunch of 'Danelaw police. Don't expect any of them to be showing up again, with the possible exception of Reeds. The snarky detective grew on me while I was writing this.
