Child. Julia Child.

[Logan Darklighter]

Gleefully stolen from this thread over on the Hero Games forums.

Michael Hopcraft posted -




The names of all 24,000 agents of the wartime OSS will be released to the public tomorrow, and one of the
most prominent of them is celebrity chef Julia Child.




The OSS was founded during World War II to give the United States a reliable intelligence presence. It was folded into the permanant CIA in 1945. The names
released tomorrow will be every field agent, intelligence analyst and clerk recruited by the OSS during the war.




Other prominent names include a Supreme Court justice, several prominent actors incluidng Sterling Hayden, two of Theodore Roosevelt's sons and historian
Arthur Sleschinger Jr.

Originally Posted by lemming





Yea, the knife kit was for her cooking...




Oh, and she never considered herself a chef.

"Now we CUT the Nazi ALONG the grain!"

proditor posted :




And I now have this image of a young Julia Child, paired knives flashing, as she cuts her way through a dimly lit castle filled with nazis to stop them from
releasing their ultimate creation, the Ubersoldat, to wreck havoc on the allies.









Holy #$%^, someone get the Sci-Fi Channel on the line and tell Richard Grieco he's making a comeback!!

Hermit posted:




Castle Wolfenstien meets Agent Julia Child? I'm all for that

proditor posted:




I just keep seeing this mental picture of her landing in between like 5 Nazis and doing one of those flashy spins where she ends up on one knee, blades
raised out, and the guys all just drop.




The fact that I still have her in an apron makes it so mind-numbingly awesome that I can't see straight.

hermit posted:




Wait till she defeats the big ubernazi by drowning him in a tub of wine below the beams...


Ubernazi-"Goodenta ..*GLUB GLUB*"




Agent Julia- "Normally, I would say a little wine never hurts, but obviously in your case..."

proditor posted:




*Grabs Hermit by the lapels and shakes him*




WE HAVE TO CALL GRIECO NOW!!! WE NEED TO OPTION THIS YESTERDAY!!!




*ponders*




Who do we get for Julia?

hermit posted:




The odd thing, it would still be better than 90% of the stuff the Sci Fi network does on its own.

proditor posted:




I have a first draft...Hermit, I used your line, I hope that's okay.




The establishing shot for our movie trailer is of a castle, tall, brooding and gothic, perched on a bavarian mountain. There is a flash of movement as
something dashes in front of the camera, but we don't get a clear view for even one second. We follow the motion as it almost glides up the hill,
vaulting over obstacles, climbing the sheer wall, and then leaping in through a high window.




We pull back to a small nazi patrol of 5 soldiers making their rounds. There is a frenetic burst of movement, flashes of silver and sound of cutting
predominates, horror is etched on each nazi face as the blood flows. We finally see that the silver is a very sharp, very elaborate, knife. In one final
flurry, a figure in the middle lands on one knee as the knives stop and all 5 nazis drop over dead.




Voiceover: Some serve in silence.




The camera pulls back and we begin to get our first glimpse of the figure. Comfortable shoes, a simple floral print dress, an apron.




Voiceover: Others turn up the heat.




Julia Child's head snaps up and we see fierce determination as she races off deeper in to the castle, slaughtering nazis like a samurai in a chambara
movie, arterial sprays going off like sprinklers in her wake.




Voiceover: But evil is never complacent.




Cut to a Nazi scientist turning to address his men. The scientist is played by Richard Grieco. "We are on the dawn of awesomeness for the Reich. When we
complete the Ubersoldat, NONE will dare stand in our way! Everything will be ours!'




From the doorway Julia speaks: "Tsk, tsk. Any chef can tell you, you don't always get to have your cake and eat it too..."




Montage of pure mayhem, knives, and violence follows.




We get the money shot, Julia drowning Grieco in a vat of wine.




"Normally I'd say a little wine never hurts, but in your case..."




FADE TO BLACK

hermit posted:




COOL




I want 10% of all gross profits from related advertising, DVD sales, and internet downloads per pay, plus my name no later than five minutes into the
credits.




On second thought, maybe I'll use a pseudonym to play it safe

Head-splodey?

[Bob Schroeck]

This is made of win and love. And shallots with a splash of white wine.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Rev Dark]

Child fights for all of us.

Save the Liver, Save the World!