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Isekai by Moonlight
RE: Isekai by Moonlight
(06-08-2024, 07:32 AM)robkelk Wrote: And together we forced Kaolinite on the defensive. She was good enough to fight us both for ten seconds, but then Jupiter got past Kaolinite's defences and thrust into her torso.

And it was all over.

If the wound didn't kill Kaolinite, the electrical discharge sending her heart into flatline did. Either way, we both knew that it was a fight to the death as soon as Jupiter electrified Donguri-no-ken.

Mercury dispelled the Hyperspatial Sphere, leaving Kaolinite's body in the dissolving pocket dimension.




So we turned around and headed for the front door, only to be met by Kaolinite. "Your father did want you to stay inside today," she told Hotaru-chan.

"I assure you," Makoto said before Hotaru-chan could say anything, "that we will keep her as safe as we keep Chibiusa."

"So kindly get out of our way," Hotaru-chan told Kaolinite.

They stared at each other for a moment. Kaolinite either lost the battle of wills or remembered who was possessing Hotaru-chan. "Do what you want."
So it appears that none of your pre-readers caught this. In my case, I'm pretty sure it's because I read these sections days apart and didn't remember what happened in the first section by the time I got to the second one. Unlike my fridge logic moment which could be fixed by changing one line, this one may require a lot more reworking unless there's someone you can conveniently substitute for Kaolinite. Don't forget to edit out any later appearances.
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
(06-10-2024, 12:14 PM)Inquisitive Raven Wrote:
(06-08-2024, 07:32 AM)robkelk Wrote: And together we forced Kaolinite on the defensive. She was good enough to fight us both for ten seconds, but then Jupiter got past Kaolinite's defences and thrust into her torso.

And it was all over.

If the wound didn't kill Kaolinite, the electrical discharge sending her heart into flatline did. Either way, we both knew that it was a fight to the death as soon as Jupiter electrified Donguri-no-ken.

Mercury dispelled the Hyperspatial Sphere, leaving Kaolinite's body in the dissolving pocket dimension.




So we turned around and headed for the front door, only to be met by Kaolinite. "Your father did want you to stay inside today," she told Hotaru-chan.

"I assure you," Makoto said before Hotaru-chan could say anything, "that we will keep her as safe as we keep Chibiusa."

"So kindly get out of our way," Hotaru-chan told Kaolinite.

They stared at each other for a moment. Kaolinite either lost the battle of wills or remembered who was possessing Hotaru-chan. "Do what you want."
So it appears that none of your pre-readers caught this. In my case, I'm pretty sure it's because I read these sections days apart and didn't remember what happened in the first section by the time I got to the second one. Unlike my fridge logic moment which could be fixed by changing one line, this one may require a lot more reworking unless there's someone you can conveniently substitute for Kaolinite. Don't forget to edit out any later appearances.


Actually, this is canon. They had to kill her twice, because she was brought back from the dead.

I alluded to, but didn't spell out, that with this exchange:

(06-08-2024, 07:32 AM)robkelk Wrote: "Kaolinite?" asked Ichiro.

"She's starring in a Kenneth Branagh movie," replied Meia. Seeing everyone else's looks of puzzlement, she added, "Dead again."
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
This brings up the question "Did they need a body to bring her back?" because her death scene in your version ensured that there was no body. I haven't seen the original to know what the situation was there.
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
In canon, she "fell" off the Tokyo Tower the first time she died. No body was ever shown.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Reply
RE: Isekai by Moonlight
Sometimes I think I write too much.

My intention for the "breather" chapter was to tie up some loose ends, check in on some long-term subplots, and visit the Sailor Moon S movie. I'm 69 kb into the chapter and all I've addressed is the first of those three.


Have a subject-to-change teaser:

Quote:The day after the kokubetsushiki was not a fun one.

It started with a meeting of the Mugen Academy Board of Regents, which Tomoe-san had to attend. As much as she didn't want to, she was Tomoe Souichi's sole heir and thus owner of the academy, so she had no option. Makoto, Sakura, Ichiro, and I accompanied her, the Devices using Mirage Hide to appear to be fully-human sized.

The Regents wanted to know who we were. Tomoe-san introduced us as her advisors.

Then they wanted to know when the Academy would re-open.

Ichiro asked where the classes would be held.

Tomoe-san said that it was too dangerous to rebuild on the site of the destroyed building because of lingering effects from the menace that the Senshi had fought there.

One of the regents asked why he should have to listen to a twelve-year-old girl.

Tomoe-san literally showed him the door and asked whether he wanted to remain a regent.

Things went downhill from there.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
Found something that I figured would be appropriate to comment about here (and on the Drunkard's Walk S thread): Super Panavision 70 Sailor Moon (done by AI)
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
I... might be able to use that, but not for a while yet. Thanks.

In a related matter, what are people's favourite non-crossover Sailor Moon fics?

Oh, and the next chapter of this fic is currently at 84kb.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
While the vast majority of my favorite Sailor Moon fics are crossovers, I'd say my favorite non-crossover would be Red Moon by Fire.
Quote:The enemies are the same, the Sailors are the same (mostly). So why is Luna so afraid that they will not bring back the Moon Kingdom?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/435276/1/Red-Moon
“I really hope I’m behind this convoluted mess; at least that way I’ll be able to get revenge by doing this to myself. I won’t even have to feel bad because it’ll be all my fault.” - Harry Potter, The Master of Death by Ryuugi.
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
(08-17-2024, 08:21 PM)robkelk Wrote: I... might be able to use that, but not for a while yet. Thanks.

In a related matter, what are people's favourite non-crossover Sailor Moon fics?

Oh, and the next chapter of this fic is currently at 84kb.

Quite belatedly, I'd have to say that my favorite pure Sailor Moon fic is Sailor Moon: Millennials.
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
Next chapter is currently at 92kb.

This might show up in the story, but is probably simply an omake:



"Good morning, everyone!"

"Good morning, Makoto and Rob. You're both in a good mood today," Saeko-mama commented.

"We both slept well last night," I explained.

"Rob made me feel so relaxed with just a massage last night," my dearest explained. "He knew exactly where to apply pressure and where to simply caress me."

I quickly added, "That's because I know how your body moves. I couldn't give anybody else that sort of backrub."

Ryou looked puzzled. Ami must have noticed, because she commented, "He's got a road map of Jupiter."

There being no throw pillows in the kitchen, I simply groaned and said, "And you've been raiding my music collection again."




Lyrics from "Dreamline", by Rush, written by Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson, and Neil Peart, from the album Roll the Bones, copyright © 1991 by Anthem Records, are used as allowed under section 29.21 (1) of the Copyright Act of Canada, R.S.C., 1985, c. C-42.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Reply
RE: Isekai by Moonlight
The current chapter is just shy of 100kb now.

Have a teaser. The Sailor Team is in the middle of a planning session at Usagi's house, about the threat faced in the Sailor Moon S movie, but they've reached a point where they have to wait for a while for two specialists to join their meeting. So... Chibiusa, who in canon is good at sketching, gets out her sketchbook while Robu-san and Hotaru have an important talk. However, the important talk has some spoilers in it, so we'll come in at the end of it.



"Then it's settled. We're practically siblings. We're just going to have to figure out where to spend New Year's together: here or at Maison Lyrique."

"We have plenty of room here," she pointed out.

"We'll just have to ask Saeko-mama first, Tomoe-s... Hotaru-chan."

Princess Lady looked up from her sketchpad; she had started a picture of the two of us. "Don't worry, Hotaru-chan. He can be slow to change sometimes."

"Thank you, Chibiusa. Should we be holding still for you?"

"No, that's okay. I have to learn how to do this without bothering the people I'm sketching." She went back to her work. "Besides, this is more the idea of the two of you than it is a particular scene."

I kid you not; Hotaru-chan actually giggled at Princess Lady's comment.

We waited for another half-hour for Bidou-san and Saeko-mama to arrive, during which Bunny-chan offered everybody tea, Artemis and Luna had a short talk that he wasn't happy about at the end of it, and Princess Lady finished her sketch. She offered it to me, but I insisted that Hotaru-chan get to keep the first picture of the two of us.

Princess Lady took that as a request to draw a second sketch of the two of us. It was at that point that I noticed she was drawing on kyogi instead of paper. Seeing that I was looking at what she was holding, she said, "It's better for the environment to use wood sheets instead of pulping the wood and making that into paper."

I couldn't argue with her. "Makoto and I use kyogi in the kitchen to line our cutting boards and wrap leftovers. I've never seen it bound into a sketchpad before."

"Even in Crystal Tokyo, I have to get big pads made special for me," she admitted. "But I can get these small pads by mail-order right now."




Because what else do people do during important planning meetings than make small talk? Smile
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
Nice scene, Rob. I did spot a minor typo, though: "she had stated a picture"
-- Bob

I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber.  I have been 
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
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RE: Isekai by Moonlight
It says "started" (now)... Smile

Oh, yes - I've known about kyogi sketchpads for a couple of decades now. Robu-san is just learning about them now... so, yes, this is another hint that this is not a self-insert.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Reply
RE: Isekai by Moonlight
Oh, dear. I wrote approximately 15kb of this story today... but not in the current chapter.

Ah, well, that just means one of the later chapters will be along sooner than it otherwise would have been.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Reply
RE: Isekai by Moonlight
The current chapter is at 105kb now.

Have a teaser... for either this chapter or the next one, wherever it fits the story flow better:



We stepped into a small room beside the one where we were going to take the entrance exams. Ami frowned as she said, "You know we really shouldn't be speaking with either of you just before the exams. Somebody might think you were giving us some help."

"They might," Bidou-san replied, "but what we're doing is exactly the opposite." And she flipped a switch on a device that was sitting on the table.

Everybody in the room winced. Including the Unison Devices who'd come along to give us moral support.

"That's a Scaglietti-type Anti-Magic Field!" gasped Hayate-chan.

Bidou-san nodded. "Good against Midchildan telepathy and Belkan Unison. Shario-chan told us how to build it."

"And I'm happy that none of you were in Unison with your devices," Arimura-san added. "We haven't been able to keep an AMF going for more than six hours, but that's long enough to cover the exam period. Now, go write your entrance exams."

"On your own," Bidou-san added with a smile. "And good luck."
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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