(utility) You​’​re Gonna Learn a Lesson in This Delicatessen

[classicdrogn]

It's not rocket science, bitch, you're just ordering a sandwich!

(lyrics in the video description)

For the duration of the song, Doug can turn ingredients into ready-to-go sandwiches effectively instantly -- in game terms, one combat action for any number of the same kind of sandwich as long as ingredients are available, without regard for normally needed tools or prep, cooking, or cleanup time. He does experience all the steps of the process as if performing them normally, and onlookers can tell you everything he did as well, it just all sort of happens at once, and on recordings it's just a blur like the camera glitched.

It also gives him a modest all-around boost to physical fighting when unarmed or using improvised weapons, as long as the fight is happening inside (or within close proximity to an open-air stand or the like, defined as "would still be in the shot if it was a fight scene in a movie or comic book") of a restaurant or shop that sells ready-to-eat food.

If he's catering to beings with unusual physiologies or only has improvised materials on hand the exact definition of valid ingredients is quite mutable, but cannot intentionally include substances that would be harmful for the recipient; the song does however let him sidestep what would be tedious and difficult procedures to make things that would be marginal or dangerous in their raw form into something at least nominally edible and nourishing, and to whatever extent is possible tasty.

"Oh my god, that's moose turd pie! ... it's good, though..."

[Vulpis]

..Is it influenced by the kind of shop he's near? I could see him at a sushi place and making perfect fugu... :-)

[classicdrogn]

According to the Cube Rule of Food, a sandwich is defined as some form of filling between two layers of structural starch, while sushi has the filling surrounded on four sides of the cube. Sushi is therefore not a viable option for production using the song, nor are toast, tacos, bread bowls, or calzones.

[Inquisitive Raven]

That's maki sushi. If I'm reading it right, nigiri is toast and there's no category for when the non-starch is wrapped around the starch to cover inarizushi. Ah, apparently there's an expanded version. In that, inarizushi might qualify as a salad, i.e. no structural starch on the outside but starch may be distributed throughout (e.g. like croutons).