Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 20, 2016
12:03 pm ET
Rob's phone started playing Science Genius Girl. "Sorry, I'd better take this," he said as he stood up and left the table.
Once he was in the hall, he answered the phone. "Hello, Washuu-chan."
"What took you so long?"
"You pulled me away from Sunday luncheon with everyone."
"Not everyone."
"I assure you, all fourteen of my human roommates and all three Mau are enjoying a roast beef dinner - a meal that I made for the very first time since moving into this building, and that I'm not enjoying because I'm talking on the phone." Rob emphasized those last five words just slightly.
"Sorry. But you're missing a half-dozen boarders. No, you called them roommates. So you're getting to be a family over there."
"We are, and we're happy about it. And I'm glad Milady Skuld dropped that hint when she was over so I'd know enough to get some rooms ready. You've finished treating their pre-existing medical conditions, I gather."
"That saves a lot of exposition. When do you want us to drop in?"
Rob thought for a quick moment. "Give us two hours, to finish lunch and clean up the place a bit."
2:05 pm ET
Rob had unlocked the security door that they'd installed in front of the portal in the mail room – nobody wanted a lucky Unseelie invader to gain access to the other residences – but hadn't yet opened it when he heard the telltale hum of power flowing through the portal. He did so, quickly.
Rob smiled. "Welcome back to Ottawa, Washuu-chan. And welcome to your home away from home, everyone else. Come in, please; we have a busy afternoon ahead of us."
"Busier than you might expect. Last stop, all out!" Washuu stepped out of the doorway, followed by four girls who looked just like Mikoto (one of whom was carrying a cat), a girl who appeared to be their younger sister, and a thin pale white-haired teenaged boy. All of them except Washuu were wearing backpacks and carrying duffel bags.
The albino looked around as they walked across the hall and into the common room. "So, this is where we'll be staying from now on. Tch. Whatever."
Makoto leaned over to Rei. "He reminds me of my sempai. The one who I dumped."
"Oh, that jerk. Maybe he'll be better."
Everyone else ignored them. The apparent quadruplets turned to Rob. Amazingly, the one who was also carrying a cat smiled slightly. "Thank you for being willing to take us in, Misaka Niiko says with genuine warmth," she said almost tonelessly. The cat meowed, which made her add, "Hush, Schrödinger, Misaka Niiko instructs."
Rob was impressed. Considering that the last time he had seen the clones, they hadn't learned how to show any expressions, this was a major step forward for them. "Thank you for being willing to live here. I should warn you now that Ottawa is nowhere near as warm as Vancouver is."
"The cold never bothered me anyway, Misaka Rei quotes."
"This cold might. The temperature outside is near the freezing point of water, and in two months you'll be wishing it was this warm again."
"We have warm weather gear in our bags, Misaka Kokoro reassures you."
"You'll need it," Kuroko assured them. (She thought that she was hiding her reaction to the sudden long-term presence of four people who looked just like her oneesama living in the building, but everyone else could see the dreamy smile on her face. The Sisters also noticed the almost-predatory look in Kuroko's eyes.)
The other sister looked around. "None of you are wearing skirts, Misaka Nana comments in wonder, leaving the obvious question unspoken."
"It's far too cold outside to not wear slacks," Usagi explained.
"Where will we be sleeping, Misaka Rei asks? We have belongings to unpack, Rei adds in explanation."
Rob motioned toward the stairs. "We have some apartments waiting for you on the second and third floors of the building, all with a minimum of furnishings so that you can at least put your belongings away and get some sleep tonight. Accelerator and Misaka Misaka, I made an assumption that you'd want to share an apartment, so the two of you get one of our precious two-bedroom units. There are four more one-bedroom apartments ready for the rest of you."
"What's in them?"
Rob didn't expect Accelerator to be polite, so he took comfort in the fact that the esper was at least asking questions. "Kitchenette, chairs, table, wall-mounted television set, bed, and closet with clothes hangers. Two beds and closets in the two-bedroom place. Toilet, sink, and tub with shower in the washroom. We've already provided some menstrual products in the girls' washrooms, just in case, and everybody has toilet paper, towels, and shampoo. If you want to soak, I'd suggest using the sentou in the basement."
"You have a sentou in the basement, Misaka Rei asks in disbelief."
"We do! Wait until you see it!" Ruiko almost grabbed Accelerator by the hand to pull him along, realized at the last moment what she was doing, then dropped her hands to her sides. "Er... if you want to see the bath, that is."
"Later, Rui-chan." Rob turned his attention back to the newcomers. "I'll help you choose some better furniture next week, if you want it."
Washuu looked puzzled. "Didn't you set up a sixth apartment?"
"I already did, as a guest room. But why would we need it now? Are you staying over?"
Washuu slapped her own forehead. "That's right, I forgot to tell you!" She pulled a wafer-thin device out of her pocket.
"What's this?" Rob asked.
Washuu-chan grinned. "Based on my detailed and repeated studies of your boarders from Academy City, Accelerator, and the Misaka Sisters, I have created an AIM Concentrator and Manifester!"
Two puppets popped up, one on each of her shoulders. "You're a genius, Washuu-chan! You're the greatest, Washuu-chan!"
Hey, that's from a different continuity, thought Rob. In the most deadpan voice he could muster (which was nowhere near as deadpan as the Misaka Sisters' speech), all he said was "What."
"Misaka Misaka likes them, and she was my lab assistant during the design phase. Back in your cages, you two!" The puppets returned to whence they came. "As I was saying, this collects and concentrates the AIM fields that your espers give off, focuses them, and allows them to manifest in an anthropomorphized state."
"You're kidding. You're not kidding. Who was manifested?"
"When I tried it with just Misaka Misaka in the lab, it manifested a one-inch-tall version of her. When I tried it with all of the Misaka sisters in the lab, it manifested a three-inch-tall version of Misaka Mikoto. I want to try it out here, with every esper on the planet within range."
Rob reached out and covered the activation button before Washuu could trigger the device. "How long did the manifested personality remain in existence?"
"Until I turned off the manifester. Yes, that means the personification remained even after the Misaka sisters left the area."
Rob thought for a moment, then moved his hand away.
"You're expecting somebody in particular, too. Let's find out whether we're right." Washuu flipped the safety cover open, pushed the button, and flipped the cover back over the control. Everybody watched as the device hummed, then quieted down. Then a light appeared above the device, resolving into a human shape - a teenaged girl in a Japanese school uniform, with a ponytail on the left side of her head, glasses over her eyes, flawless skin, and a build that even Mii would be hard-pressed to match. Washuu looked at Rob. "Am I good, or am I good?"
"You're good, Washuu-chan. I'm surprised that she's twelve inches tall, though."
"More espers being present means there's a larger AIM diffusion field to work with."
"How many espers are there on Earth right now?" asked Rob, completely unaware of some people who were even then keeping a very low profile in Chicago.
The girl suddenly moved, then smiled and cleared her throat. "Er... hello?"
Rob immediately turned his attention to her. "Hello, miss. My name's Rob Donaldson. I'm pleased to meet you."
"Kazakiri Hyoga. [1] I'm pleased to meet you." She looked around. "Oh, I was hoping to see Index."
Washuu and Rob looked surprised, since neither of them were expecting her to have continuity of memory from her home reality. Rob wasn't even sure that she was the same person, considering Washuu's comment about manifesting copies of Last Order and Railgun, but he had no reason to doubt her.
Mii noticed and replied, "You aren't in Academy City at the moment, Hyoga-san."
Rob grinned sheepishly. "We don't know where Index and Touma are, but we are looking for them. Sorry."
"It would be nice if we could find them."
Hyoga turned to the speaker. "Hello! I know who you are. You're Railgun."
"Please don't call me that. I have a name: Misaka Mikoto."
While Hyoga, Mikoto, and the other espers talked, Ami leaned over to Rob and Washuu. "What's an A-I-M diffusion field?"
"Something that espers from Academy City give off simply by living. AIM stands for 'an involuntary movement'. Please don't ask me for specifics, because I don't have any. Hyoga is... well, you've seen the anime, haven't you?"
"I must have missed the episodes that she was in. I'll have to watch them later."
She'd missed the climaxes to both seasons of A Certain Magical Index? Rob didn't push the matter, but made a mental note to find out later whether Ami had watched any of the shows he'd made available to everyone. "Washuu-chan, how long will the power last on that manifester?"
"Until my lab collapses in the heat death of its pocket universe. You don't need to worry about her disappearing because the power ran out."
"Oh, good." Then Rob smiled and chuckled.
"Care to share the joke?"
"If Hyoga ends up dating someone, that person's going to have a real-life imaginary girlfriend." (Rob had no idea how right - and how wrong - that statement was.)
"Not just that," Washuu-chan pointed out. "She'll be a girlfriend from Canada, too."
Ruiko grinned at Rob's remark. "The Imaginary Number District actually exists? I knew it! Is it true that I could get there if I crossed between districts in Academy City at 4:44 pm? Oh, and I'm Ruiko Saten. Hi."
"Hello. No, Saten-san, real people can't enter the Imaginary Number District. Only monsters like me."
Mikoto interrupted before Hyoga could continue. "We don't care what Academy City intended you to be. We care who you are, not what you are. From what I read in the novels, Kamijo-san and Index-san think you're a person - a good person - so that's good enough for me."
Hyoga smiled a shaky smile. "Really?" She started crying. "You really think so?"
"Hey! Please don't cry, Misaka Misaka asks with tears about to fall from her own eyes!"
Off to the side, Rob leaned toward Washuu and whispered, "Is it my imagination, or did Kazakiri just get bigger?"
At the same volume, she replied, "I think she just grew, too. The espers might be responsible, with their sudden belief in her existence. Their esper powers are based on belief, after all."
"She isn't Tinkerbell."
"And nobody's clapping. I need to take some measurements."
4:18 pm ET
"You have no doubt noticed that my clone sisters and I have a verbal tic that involves identifying ourselves when we speak, Misaka Rei points out. As long as I continue to do that, I do not see any possibility of confusion here, Misaka Rei adds."
After a moment, Rei Hino nodded. "I suppose that would work. You don't mind being called by your complete name?"
"It is what I am accustomed to hearing, Misaka Rei answers."
November 21, 2016
7:22 am ET
Rob nodded to the three girls who walked into the common room. "Good morning, Chibiusa, Misaka Misaka, Hyoga!" He noticed they were all roughly the same height, and Hyoga was wearing the manifester on a filigree chain around her neck. "You might want to get a more substantial chain for that necklace, Hyoga."
"Good morning, Rob! Thank you for worrying about me."
"Hi, Rob-oji-san!"
"Good morning, Rob, says Misaka Misaka as she walks to the refrigerator. Do we have any juice, Misaka Misaka asks?"
"Orange, apple, and pineapple. Take your pick."
"Orange, please, Misaka Misaka decides."
Hyoga poured herself a cup of coffee. "Why do you always use your full name, Misaka?"
"So nobody thinks I'm one of my sisters, Misaka Misaka answers! I have lots of sisters, Misaka Misaka adds in explanation."
"The number of Misaka Sisters! It's over nine thousand!" Everyone else ignored Rob.
"My name's Usagi, just like my mom, but everybody calls me Chibiusa. It's a nickname!"
"Misaka Misaka wants a nickname too, Misaka Misaka insists!"
Rob smiled as he brought a plate of toast over to the table and sat down beside Hyoga. "Well, then, let's see what we can come up with. How about 'Chibi-Misaka'?"
"That's too close to my nickname," the pink-haired Senshi said with a pout.
"What's wrong with Last Order?" asked Hyoga.
"The connection between us isn't something people should know, Misaka Misaka replies with foreboding while buttering a slice of toast."
Rob nodded. As far as Academy City was concerned, the 'last order' that Misaka Misaka was ever intended to give was to activate Hyoga; it was only because Index could undo what was done to the girl that both Misaka Misaka and Hyoga were still themselves and sane.
"Call her 'needlessly genki girl'."
Rob didn't look up. "And good morning to you too, Accelerator. Coffee's on the side table, toast is on the big table."
"Whatever."
"Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka Misaka. It's hard to come up with a nickname, Misaka Misaka announces! Misaka Misaka Misaka Misa Misa...."
"Misa Misaka? That's not too bad." Hyoga tilted her head and lifted a finger to her chin. "No, wait, wasn't there something about a magical girl named Misa somewhere?"
"Misa Misa Misa Misa Misa Mi Mi Mi ..."
Hyoga thought for a moment. "Mi Misaka? That could work."
Rob shook his head. "That could cause some confusion if Mii was ever to adopt her."
"Why would Konori-san adopt Misaka Misaka, Misaka Misaka asks? Besides, Mi and Mii are two different names, Misaka Misaka adds. Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi MiMiMi..."
Rob blinked. "Mimi?"
"Mimi Misaka?" Chibiusa almost sang the name.
"Misaka Misaka likes Mimi Misaka, Misaka Misaka announces! No, Mimi Misaka announces, Mimi Misaka corrects herself!"
"This is bull-"
"Thank you, Accelerator," Rob interrupted as his phone chimed to indicate receiving a message. "Mimi it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this."
After Rob left, the newly-christened Mimi turned to Chibiusa. "He never told us why Konori-san might adopt me, Mimi Misaka comments in a confidential tone."
"Eat your breakfast, brat."
"That's Mimi brat, Mimi Misaka insists!"
In the hallway, Rob checked the text message, noting it was from Washuu-chan. "Measurements analyzed. Hyoga should reach her full human size within 24 hours. I'm making ID for her now. Do you want to foster her, too?"
He sent back "List her as 17, and we can keep her out of the foster system altogether."
"That means you won't get fosterage money from the government."
"We'll manage somehow."
----
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 21, 2016
10:13 am ET
"You should be asking the RCMP. They're the ones who are responsible for this."
Rob sighed. "I don't want to lie to a police officer, and how would they react if I said 'I have four fictional characters living with me who need firearms licenses'?"
"I can see where that would be a problem. Okay: first, I absolutely cannot let you practice at the range at the police station. Second ... you said four. Some of the Misaka clones?"
"I can see why you made detective so young. Yes."
"The minor's license is good for non-restricted rifles and shotguns only. And you'll need a possession and acquisition license, too, since they're living with you."
"I expected as much. What's required for these?"
"Each of you has to take the Canadian Firearms Safety Course - the RA Centre has a shooting range and can find you instructors. Once you pass that, you can apply for your PAL and the girls' licenses."
"And what will that let me buy?"
"I assume you want to buy weapons for your own use, not for theirs. No, don't interrupt me. That will let you purchase non-restricted firearms only. If you want something else, you'll need to take the Canadian Restricted Firearms Safety Course as well. And don't bother asking for a license for those automatic rifles I saw them use in the anime, because those are on the prohibited list. Oh, and do me a favour, will you? Let the shooting club keep your weapons under lock and key. I don't want the girls walking around with weapons in their gym bags. If they did and I knew about them, I'd have to arrest them."
"That shouldn't be a problem; I don't want the girls walking around with weapons, either. Thanks for the help."
RA Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
11:48 am ET
"It's somewhat unusual for the RA Centre to include foster children in a family membership, Mr. Donaldson."
"I'm not surprised, but my foster daughters are the only family I have. Would you allow children to become members on their own?"
The desk clerk thought for a moment. "I think I can see my way clear to setting you up as a family, then. What are the children's names?"
"Niiko Misaka, Kokoro Misaka, Nana Misaka, and Rei Misaka." Rob spelled the names for the clerk.
"Ages?"
This wasn't the time or the place to tell the truth. "13."
"What, all of them?"
"And they're identical quadruplets, too. Identical down to their interests, which is one reason why I'm fostering them all. They want to join the Gun Club."
The clerk was shocked. "All of them? At age 13? My God, what happened to them?"
Rob looked stern. "Even if I had been told that, I wouldn't be at liberty to repeat it. But I'll point out that they've been given a male guardian."
"Oh. Yes. Of course. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that." Somewhat embarassedly, the clerk cleared her throat. "Are you interested in the Gun Club as well?"
"Not really, but I'll have to get a license if the girls are going to be allowed to get their licenses, so sign me up, too. Sign me up for the Photography Club as well, please."
The clerk grinned, happy to have something else to talk about. "You're interested in a different kind of shooting."
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
6:11 pm ET
"I don't eat onions, Misaka Niiko points out."
Makoto immediately put down the casserole dish that she was about to pass to the newcomers. "Oh. This potato dish has onions in it."
"I'll make do with the chicken breast and the corn, Misaka Niiko reassures everyone."
Mikoto looked at her clone, who was sitting across from her at the big table in the common room. "Why won't you eat onions? I know I'm not allergic to them."
"It is a moral choice, Misaka Niiko admits. So many of my clone sisters were killed for a project that ultimately failed that I have trouble accepting the idea of killing a living thing just for my own benefit."
Rei Hino nodded. "That's similar to why many Buddhists don't eat onions. I can respect that, even if I don't live that way myself."
"But you eat meat," Rob pointed out.
"I am not the only one who benefits from a chicken's sacrifice, Misaka Niiko explains. Killing an onion plant only feeds one person for one meal."
Usagi nodded. "I think I see what you're saying. And that means you don't eat carrots, either." She turned to Makoto. "So no more serving carrots, Mako-chan!"
"You just don't like carrots," Chibiusa muttered as she helped herself to some carrots.
7:14 pm ET
There weren't any instructors at the gun club that evening to give them their introductory exam, so the Misaka sisters decided to give the building's bath a try instead. Once they stepped through the portal into the dimensional pocket and then down the hall to the sentou, they noticed two doors, labelled "Ladies" and "Rob" - the latter obviously having recently had "and Mamoru" added with paint and "and Accelerator" added with a sticky note. None of them expressed any interest in seeing what the men's side of the baths looked like.
It was almost normal for a sentou, the most obvious difference being that all the signs were in English. Nothing was floating, there was only one level to the bath, the floor and walls were tiled, and there was a mural of Mount Fuji painted on the rear wall of the room. Most importantly to the newcomers, Washuu-chan had installed a teleport shield; Kuroko Shirai couldn't teleport in while the Misaka Sisters were naked.
The sisters stripped, washed, and entered the bath in complete silence. Not that they weren't communicating; they were taking the opportunity to use their mental connection when nobody would be freaked out by it.
After a while, they heard the door open. "Is anybody in here?"
So much for not freaking out anyone else. But they remembered from the memories Last Order - Mimi - had shared that Hyoga wasn't just anyone else. Looked at from a certain metaphysical viewpoint, she was almost one of them.
"The four of us are currently soaking, Misaka Niiko answers."
"You are welcome to join us, Misaka Rei adds."
After a few moments, Hyoga walked in, wearing only a towel - which she slipped out of as she slipped into the water. "Oh, this feels good! I've never been in a communal bath before."
The others looked at her for a moment. After consulting with each other mentally, they decided who would ask the question on their shared minds. "If I am prying, please ignore this question, but why are your breasts different from ours, Misaka Niiko asks?"
Hyoga blushed. "Well, some girls just have larger ..."
"That is not what we meant, Misaka Rei interrupts in order to save time." She pointed to her own chest. "We have aureolae and nipples." She consciously left 'Rei adds in explanation' unsaid as obvious.
Hyoga took a closer look. "Is that normal? I've never seen a person naked before, either. Even when Index and I were having our photos taken while cosplaying, we still wore underwear when we were changing."
"It's completely normal, Misaka Kokoro answers."
Hyoga said nothing for a moment. "Then... why don't I have them?"
"We don't know, Misaka Nana answers."
"Perhaps Mr. Donaldson knows, or could find out, Misaka Rei suggests."
"I don't think I want to show him my naked chest. We just met each other yesterday."
"We can describe the differences between us without showing him anything, Misaka Niiko suggests. Are there any other anatomical differences between us, Niiko asks while standing in the bath."
Hyoga looked at her, nodded, and stood up herself.
8:27 pm ET
"... and the first thing that came to mind was a Barbie doll, Misaka Niiko finishes."
Rob thought for a moment, then turned to Hyoga. "I'm not surprised. Aleister and his people designed you to be an artificial angel, after all, and angels are traditionally described as being sexless."
"I'm obviously female, though."
"True. Aleister Crowley imagined angels as something quite different from the usual description - although you don't match that description, either."
"What did Aleister come up with?"
Rob looked Hyoga straight in the eye. "You really don't want to know."
She shivered in fear, then recovered. "I wonder whether that's why I fought so hard against being activated."
"Could be. I think we need some expert help here. I'll call Washuu-chan... no, I'll text Milady Skuld and ask her to ask Milady Belldandy."
8:44 pm ET
"Milady Belldandy's reply was, and I quote, 'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to tell you'."
"That sucks, Misaka Kokoro mutters in annoyance."
"I'll say. Why couldn't I have a body like everybody else's?"
"Do you want me to ask Washuu-chan whether she can do anything?"
Hyoga thought for a long moment. "I don't know." Then, after another moment, she added, "No. Don't go to any trouble on my account."
November 22, 2016
7:41 am ET
"Do we get to go to school any time soon, Misaka Mimi asks with curiosity between spoonfuls of cereal. Everybody else gets to go."
"I'm stuck here, too," Chibiusa replied while reaching for the milk.
"Be glad you don't have to waste time in boring classes, kid."
Rob looked up from his bacon-and-eggs. "The school board won't take you until the beginning of the next term, which starts after Christmas, although we'll get your placement tests in before that. Be patient for a month. And do you want to attend classes, Accelerator? I can ask for them to give you a placement test at the same time the Misaka Sisters and Chibiusa take theirs."
"May as well. What about the meganekko with the big -?"
"I have a name," Hyoga interrupted. "Please use it."
"Fine. What about Kazakiri?"
"I'm taking a high-school-equivalency diploma exam later today."
"Maybe I should do that."
Rob nodded. "I thought you might want to, so I made arrangements for a possibility of two people taking the test, just in case. I'll let them know you are able to attend after all. Here's your student ID card."
Accelerator read it. "'Axel A. Rayder?' This is bullshit."
"Then tell us your real name."
"I guess this works."
There was a moment of relative quiet as everyone ate, which Mamoru broke by asking "Do you need any help around the building today, Rob?"
"Ordinarily, I'd say yes, but you have something more important to do today."
"I do?"
"Take a look out the back door. Somebody at one of the other buildings was granted a wish yesterday, and it was worded broadly enough for the megami to do you and Mii-san a favour while they were granting it. You need to go visit the license bureau, and I need to go buy some winter covers for your vehicles - maybe a prefab carport." As Mamoru bolted for the door, Rob turned to the others. "You should check your own rooms while you're at it. You just might have some personal belongings in your dresser drawers that weren't there yesterday."
Just then, a very loud squeal of delight came from Mikoto's apartment, followed by "My collection of Gekota toys!!!"
Rob smiled and continued. "Maybe you should go look now."
"It can wait, Misaka Rei announces, deciding to be polite and finish breakfast first."
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada / The Masaki residence, Vancouver, BC, Canada
8:33 am ET / 5:33 am PT
"I'm sorry to disturb you so early in the day, Washuu-chan."
"What do you need?"
"What makes you think -?"
"You're only this apologetic when you want something, Rob."
"You know me too well. We need a gun vault that the local police won't be able to find. It seems that Milady Belldandy granted a wide-area wish last night, and as a side-effect the Misaka sisters have their fully-automatic rifles again."
"That explains the gun vault, but not the undetectable part."
"Private ownership of fully-automatic weapons is illegal in Canada."
"I'll be there in three minutes."
3:21 pm ET
"Congratulations, Hyoga! Congratulations, 'Axel'!"
"They marked our exams very quickly."
"Why wouldn't they? They had a very advanced computer marking the tests."
Chibiusa looked up at Rob. "You didn't...?"
Rob shook his head. "All I asked HAL to do was make sure the tests were graded accurately. It's the province's standards that are lax." He turned to Hyoga and Accelerator. "Now that you have your high school diplomas, there's no way I can apply for fosterage money for either of you. I can carry you for a couple of months, but you'll need something to bring in an income soon, whether it's a university scholarship or a job. Time to think about what you want to do with your lives."
RA Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
7:16 pm ET
The five of them walked into the RA Centre's Gun Club, drawing attention immediately - and not just because the Misaka sisters had all chosen to wear their school uniforms. "Hello, we're the Donaldson/Misaka family."
An instructor walked over. "Ah, you're the new members! Welcome to the club. Please, call me John."
"Pleased to meet you, John," Rob said as they shook hands. "I'm going to be honest with you: the only reason I'm here is because I'm the girls' legal guardian."
"We can work with that. How much do you know about guns?"
"I know enough to always treat them as if they're loaded, and to not point them at anything I don't intend to shoot, and that's about it. The girls know much more."
"Those are two good baselines to start with. Let's get you a rifle and see how well you can handle it." Ten minutes later, Rob had gone through a dozen rounds and managed to put one in the outer ring of the target. John said, "I've seen worse first tries."
"I really don't have the eyesight for shooting. Keep the glasses on and the sight path's distorted; take them off and I can't make out the rings."
"Sight path? Oh, yes, I think I know what you're saying. Who wants to go next?"
Three minutes later, Niiko had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
Three minutes after that, Kokoro had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
Three minutes after that, Rei had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
The range official called a stop to shooting (which momentarily disappointed Nana, who wanted to show off as well), then walked over. "Are we sure that isn't the same girl trying out over and over again?"
"I think they're different girls," answered John. "But I'm not sure. Clear four lanes for them; I want to see them all shoot at the same time."
Four minutes later, the girls had given their targets "five rounds rapid", shooting out a identical × on each bulls-eye.
"What the hell..." John was flabbergasted.
Rob quietly walked over to Niiko, who was using the outermost lane. "Girls, if you don't stop freaking the mundanes right now, then I won't pay your range fees."
It took them less than two minutes to shoot different patterns of three shots into different parts of their targets.
"Much better." Rob turned to John. "They had the same teacher and took the same classes."
"Even so, they shouldn't be that much alike!"
"Are they in?"
"Yes! I want to learn how they did that!"
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 23, 2016
11:12 am ET
"Nice work."
Mamoru put down the hammer he was holding and looked at the gutters he had just installed on the new prefab carport. "Thanks. It's too bad I have to keep my car in here over the winter."
"Trust me, you really don't want to drive a convertible in the winter in Ottawa."
"Oh, I agree; I don't want frostbite on my face, either. It's just that I just got my car back..."
"And Mii-san just got her bike back, too. At least you can drive my car when I'm not using it."
"You drive an automatic with left-hand drive. Why did we install a bucket at the end of the downspout? We have city water."
"The city water's fluoridated. Rain water and snow meltwater is better for the plants out in front of the building."
"We don't have any plants out in front of the building."
Rob smiled. "Not yet, but I'm sure Mako-chan and Chibiusa will want to plant some flowers come spring time. Now, let's rig an overhang to cover my car over the winter, and then we can get an electrician in to install some more floodlights to keep unwanted visitors away from our cars."
November 23, 2016
1:01 pm ET
Rob had wondered whether he could put Mamoru on the building's payroll. While Mamoru didn't need the money, Rob could use the help with the maintenance work. He figured calling the higher-ups was worth a shot.
"Look, you've got me acting as a corporate official and a building manager. ... Yes, I know I signed two contracts. ... You're damned right that it's a Hell of a job. I need some help with it. I need either an administrative assistant, a housekeeper, or a handyman. ... Or I'll hire one on my own and pay him out of the corporate funds. ... Yes, I can do that. Section 19, paragraph 3. ... Fine. Email me the list."
After he hung up, Rob thought, 'Of course Sebastian has a list of housekeeper candidates. So much for getting Lord Phantomhive to slip Mamoru some money as a live-in handyman; he'll have to find work elsewhere. Or I can pay him out of my own pocket, if he'll let me.'
1:33 pm ET
Rob thought that he should have asked for an administrative assistant and a housekeeper. None of the people on the list were going to be able to help with the paperwork. He realized that he'd made a Hell of a choice in who to ask for.
There were three names on the list that Sebastian had forwarded to Rob. He recognized all three.
As much as he thought Taeko Minazuki might be a good choice, he realized that if Taeko moved to Ottawa, the rest of the major characters from Ai Yori Aoshi would follow sooner or later. He already had teenage angst to worry about; he didn't need unrequited love issues as well. Better to let her and them go elsewhere, he thought, maybe New Jersey or Venice. They'd probably like Venice. Besides, it was Taeko - the one character from that story that Rob could see himself falling in love with ... and for whatever reason he already had two smart and lovely ladies filling that role in his life. He didn't wonder why he suddenly already had two smart and lovely ladies filling that role in his life.
And he thought that it would be an even worse idea to hire Mahoro Ando - at least, not until Washuu-chan could extend her lifespan and she could engage in combat without worrying whether it would kill her. The building was still being attacked by the Host on an irregular basis; he didn't want Management to attack them as well.
And when did he start thinking of the household as a paramilitary force? That was the opposite of what he had wanted a month ago.
The third name ... Yeah. It was a Hell of a choice that Sebastian was giving him. Then Rob realized he might be able to use that choice to his own advantage.
5:14 pm ET
"Mr. Donaldson, could I see you for a moment, please?"
"Of course, Ms. Konori." Rob walked into Mii's apartment, and she closed the door behind him ... then stood on tiptoe and kissed him.
Once his tongue was available again, Rob asked, "What's that for? Not that I'm complaining." For some reason, he didn't wonder why he wasn't complaining, given their age difference.
"That's for setting up a place for me to keep my bike over the winter. Thank you."
"Mamoru helped."
"I'm not giving him a kiss. You might get jealous. Usagi almost definitely would."
Politely but out of character for him, Rob replied, "I choose to remain silent on that matter. Now, is there anything else, Ms. Konori?"
"I could use your help with these..." Mii reached for her blouse's buttons and smiled, which should have but didn't set off alarm bells in Rob's thoughts.
Rob sighed. Finally back in character for him, he replied, "Not before your eighteenth birthday."
She mock-pouted, then grinned and took a step back so he could see her figure better. "Then I suppose that's all."
"I'll be on my way, then." Rob turned and opened the door, to discover Ruiko waiting in the hallway, grinning. "What, are we that obvious?"
"I don't think Kazari, Mikoto, Mimi, Chibiusa, Diana, or either of the Reis have noticed yet," Ruiko replied.
"Actually, I had noticed, Misaka Rei interjects from down the hallway. It's Misaka Kokoro who hasn't noticed, Misaka Rei adds."
Rob looked over his shoulder at Mii. "Should we tell everyone?"
Mii shrugged her shoulders. "The two of us can't make that decision."
6:51 pm ET
As everyone was about to leave the dinner table, Ami said, "We have an announcement."
Two minutes later, Usagi and Kazari had Ami and Mii in a group hug; Kuroko was rolling her eyes at Mikoto's puzzled expression; Mimi, Diana, and Chibiusa were grinning; Ruiko and Minako were talking about bridesmaid's dresses; Luna and the Misaka sisters were wondering which reality the happy trio would be calling home once the time came to leave; Makoto was thinking about wedding cake recipes with a dreamy look on her face; Mamoru and Artemis (in human form) were smiling as they cleared the dishes from the table; Accelerator wasn't interested at all... and Rei Hino was scowling.
Ami had always been interested in men who were older than her father,[2] so everybody who knew her thought that this was perfectly natural... whatever they might have thought if it was somebody else who had made the announcement. Rei's concerns were in another area.
The first chance she had, Rei grabbed Rob's arm and walked him out to the corridor. "Why?"
"What?"
"Not what, why? Why do you get to be open about your love now and I have to wait?"
"You have to... Is that what Inara told you during the Halloween party?"
"Yes!" she hissed.
"You're sure? That doesn't sound like her to me at all."
"I'm sure... No, I'm not sure." The fire in Rei's eyes dimmed, but didn't completely disappear. "She told me about love, and appearances, and ..." She trailed off; the rest of what Inara had told her was none of Rob's business.
"Appearances. Of course. She's protecting you, and it sounds like she did a good job. Have you talked with whoever it is you love about this?" She shook her head. "Then you need to talk with them before any of you make any decisions. One thing that I'll tell you, and I'm sure it's the same thing that Ami and Mii are telling everyone else right now: We don't want word of this to leave the building yet. Polyamoury is still rare enough that it would put both of my loves' careers at risk if anyone found out before they have professional reputations of their own, although I'm sure they aren't mentioning that to anyone in our common room."
"But... that's... Why should anyone else care what your personal life is like? You're not..." She trailed off again, as if she had run out of lines to read from a script.
"Don't ask me. Other people's love lives don't affect me, and ours doesn't affect anyone else, and the three of us are facing our futures together with love and mutual respect and clear and informed consent from all three of us. That should be enough. But it isn't, not according to the law."
"The law is... the law is..." Rei fumed while trying to figure out how to finish her sentence.
Rob finished it for her. "The law is an ass." At her shocked look at his vulgarity, he continued, "George Chapman, 'Revenge for Honour', 1654. If you want to change the law, you could run for office once you're 18."
"No, thank you," she replied coldly.
"Or you could help Usagi run for office, and advise her once she's elected."
"Isn't she going to become Neo-Queen Serenity anyway?"
"If I recall the canon backstory correctly, she'll be elected to the position after she saves the world from a disaster of some sort. Assuming the same disaster happens here or you go home, of course. Either way, she could use the experience of running for office in a few years, and I can't think of anyone better suited to help her than you. Oh! Is she...?"
"Yes."
"Then I'd best let you go talk with her. And I think that I have to make it clear to a few people that Ami and Mii and I aren't getting married just yet, nor are the three of us about to share an apartment."
"You're not going to live together? Why not?"
"We're not going to live together yet. Because the law is an ass. Legally, I shouldn't be interested in them until they're 18, because legally, I'm still Mii and Ami's foster father."
For some reason that even Rei didn't know, that statement sounded perfectly reasonable to her; it fit the narrative of their three lives so well. "We have to do something about that."
"There are plans ready to go as soon as it becomes possible for us to be open about our relationship. Until then, we continue the way we are."
Rei sighed. "I never would have guessed you were the type to only pay lip service to laws that you didn't like."
"We're already ignoring some laws. Those automatic rifles that the Misaka sisters own are illegal in this country, but I'm not going to tell the girls to surrender them. But before you start comparing me to some Diet members that I suspect you've been introduced to back in your home universe, I'll point out that I'm ignoring laws that are detrimental to other people, not to myself."
Rei frowned. "Can I tell you about something called the slippery slope?"
"Can you trust that I have three times as much life experience as you, and know all about the slippery slope?" Forsome reason, that age difference didn't seem to matter in the case of his relationship with Mii and Ami. "I'm not happy about being a lawbreaker, but I'm not about to risk your lives or Ami's and Mii's happiness. And I'd appreciate it if you keep telling me when you think I'm making a bad moral or ethical call."
"Why me?" she asked, surprised.
"Because I trust you to not want to spare my feelings when you call me out."
Rob's phone pinged, then pinged twice again in rapid succession. Even before looking, he knew what the texts would say. As he reached for his phone, he wondered who didn't keep the secret. "Excuse me."
"Congratulations! -Tenchi"
"You'd better treat them well, or you'll feel my hammer! Be happy. -Skuld"
"What took you so long? -Washuu"
He showed the phone to Rei. "So much for keeping things secret."
And back in the common room, Mikoto was still puzzled as to why everybody else thought a relationship between a middle-age man and two teenage girls was a good thing, even with Ruiko telling her about Studio CLAMP's works and Usagi telling her about Tenchi Muyo! While she knew from experience that it was possible for Misaki Shokuhō to control so many minds at the same time, she was pretty sure that Tokiwadai's other Level 5 esper was nowhere nearby. Maybe she was just being paranoid, she suddeny thought.
But before Mikoto could say anything about her concerns, the Good Neighbour System's alarm went off.
And by the time that the situation in Montreal was resolved, everybody was too tired to continue a discussion about three people's love lives... and, the next morning, Mikoto completely forgot why she had been concerned about it in the first place.
November 24, 2016
4:42 pm ET
"Now that I have you alone: How long have you been dating Konori-sempai, Donaldson-san?"
"About a month now, Kuroko. She told me her feelings the night that she was attacked by the Host."
Kuroko relaxed slightly. "That was a hectic time for everyone. No doubt you simply forgot to tell us at the time, being more concerned with whether Mii-sempai would survive." Rob knew better than to disagree; he simply nodded. "As for the matter of hiring someone to help here, I don't understand why you want me involved in the process, Rob-san."
"Because Mikoto's busy. If this is who I think it is, you'll understand as soon as she walks through the door."
As if on cue, the office door opened, and a Japanese girl who looked to be about Usagi's age walked in. She was wearing a blue dress with an apron and a maid's cap, and her short hair was pulled back from her face. Amazingly enough for Blossom Apartments, she wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, or even cute. "Hello, the Funtom Placement Agency sent me about the maid position that you contacted them ab... Shirai!?"
"Maika?"
"And I'm Rob Donaldson. Now that we know each other, the job's yours if you want it." Both girls looked at Rob; he turned to Kuroko. "Is there some reason why I shouldn't hire Miss Tsuchimikado?"
"Her brother ..." Kuroko started, then stopped.
"Yes, we know her brother is a spy for Necessarius." Maika gasped in surprise. Rob ignored her. "And so is she. I'd rather Necessarius has somebody inside sending reports back than have them attack us because they don't know what's going on here, which means they need an information conduit out of our building." Rob turned to Maika and smiled. "Also, I've been assured that you actually are a competent maid."
"I'm a maid in training, actually," she replied somewhat unsteadily.
"Good enough for this building. Your room is downstairs - immediately below my office."
"So I'm to spend my nights on the floor under you?"
Kuroko snickered.
Rob frowned. "No. I don't appreciate the double entendre. And I really hope that Necessarius isn't expecting you to use Mata Hari's techniques."
"They aren't. And Motoharu would get upset if I did."
Rob relaxed a bit. "Good. Although now I'm wondering whether I should still offer you the job."
"You need somebody to help you," Kuroko pointed out.
"I don't have much choice, then," Rob replied. Turning back to Maika, he continued, "The job does not involve sex. Ever. And we're not asking you to become a double agent. As I already said, I'd rather that Necessarius knows what's going on here than have them guess incorrectly."
Maika thought for a brief moment. "That makes sense. What do you get out of this, besides your housekeeping done?"
"Well, as long as you're asking, are you able to contact Necessarius now? On second thought, don't answer that. When you are able to contact Necessarius, I want you to ask them to help us find two people that I expect they want to find anyway."
"Who would these people be?"
"Index Librorum Prohibitorum and Kamijo Touma."
"Oh." Kuroko groused. "Him."
Rob turned to Kuroko. "You know how she feels about him, even if she isn't willing to admit it to herself."
"Does he return her feelings?"
"Does she return yours?"
"I ..." Kuroko wouldn't continue.
"Then it doesn't matter." Rob turned back to Maika. "I apologize for the digression, Miss Tsuchimikado. If you accept the position here, your duties will involve house cleaning, laundry, memorizing the Wikipedia pages about Academy City and Necessarius - Kuroko will give you the URLs - and whatever Necessarius wants you to do that doesn't put anyone here at risk. Remuneration, at least from us, will begin at $600 per week plus room and board. We will review the contract after three months to determine whether this will become a permanent position."
She thought for a long moment. "I accept."
Rob extended his hand. "Thank you, Maika." They shook on the deal. "And if your brother shows up... well, try not to keep me awake."
5:16 pm ET
"I thought that I was the main chef here. Why hire a maid?"
Rob chose his words carefully. "She isn't here to do the cooking, Mako-chan. She's here primarily to do the laundry and general housekeeping. If you or whoever is on cooking duty needs help in the kitchen, you'll need to ask Maika whether she wants to help. Besides, I thought you wanted to be a pâtissier, not a restaurant chef."
Makoto calmed down. "I still haven't made up my mind whether I want to be a pastry chef or a flower shop owner or both, but I'm leaning toward being a chef." She thought for a moment. "All right, as long as I get to say who does or doesn't touch my kitchen gear, I don't have a problem with her being here."
"I won't hold you to that, Makoto."
She was suspicious again. "Why not?"
"Because she's also a spy for a group that has an uncomfortable relationship with Academy City."
"When did you know that?"
"Since before any of you showed up in this reality."
"And you hired her anyway?"
"Of course. This way, we have some control over what Necessarius learns about us - Necessarius is the group she works for - and we get our cleaning done, too."
Makoto's eyes narrowed. "That's awfully manipulative of you."
"She wants to be a maid. As for manipulative, espionage and counter-espionage is rarely free of manipulation. If Usagi is going to become Neo-Queen Serenity and you're going to become one of her advisors, you'll need to come to terms with that."
"Maybe. I still don't like it."
"Besides, this is nothing compared to how government intelligence agencies act, if the declassified reports and what Artemis has mentioned in passing are anything to go by. She knows that we know who she works for, we know that she knows, and we let her in anyway. If she's at all intelligent, she'll be expecting us to give her a mix of truth and misinformation to send back to her superiors."
"That's true," Maika replied from just inside the kitchen doorway, the door closing behind her. "Who else is going to know who I really am?"
"Everyone who's read the Wikipedia articles that I said you have to memorize. What can we do for you, Ms. Tsuchimikado?" Rob asked.
"Please just call me Maika while I'm working. I'm here to familiarize myself with the kitchen, so that I can keep it clean. I was told Kino-dono was here?"
"I'm Makoto. I'll show you my kitchen now, so please pay attention to what I say I don't want you to touch. ..."
As Makoto started the tour, Rob quickly got out of the girls' way; the kitchen really wasn't big enough for three people. He still had to tell Mikoto and Usagi about Maika, and that conversation was going to take some finesse.
And since when was the common room's kitchen Makoto's property?
7:27 pm ET
"Artie, a moment of your time, if you please."
Rob's expression showed he wasn't likely to take no for an answer. And so it was that Artemis and Rob were alone in Rob's office a moment later.
Artemis sat on Rob's desk and played with the computer mouse. "If this is about the maid you hired this afternoon, I already know that she's a sleeper agent for the group that Index-san belongs to."
"That saves us some time. I've already told her that we won't ask her to become a double agent."
"You're tying my paws here with that kind of promise, Rob. But I agree that she wouldn't make a good double agent. Everything in her source material indicates she's a living prop for her brother's cover story, not an agent in her own right. If I hired her, I'd have to train her."
Rob smiled. "So, no harm, no foul?"
"Not this time," Artemis replied. "But I might want to recruit the next spy that we meet, so please don't make that kind of promise again."
November 25, 2016
10:06 am ET
"Maika, would you ... Maika? MAIKA!"
Rob's shout shocked the newly-hired maid out of her daze, just before she was about to walk into the air at the top of the stairs. "Oh! I ... Thank you, Mr. Donaldson."
"Put that laundry down before you hurt yourself." As she did, Rob continued "The rest of the laundry can wait. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, really."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing that will keep me from doing my work."
"That 'nothing' almost caused you to break your neck. That's a workplace health and safety issue. What's wrong?"
Maika started crying. "I'm... I'm a fictional character!"
"You've been reading your Wikipedia page."
"My Wikia page, actually. Do you know what it's like to have your entire life summed up in one screen of text for everybody to read? You don't! You're not a fictional character!"
Rob winced, then grabbed both of Maika's shoulders. "Snap out of it!"
"I'm not hysterical! I'm angry!"
"Then calm down. Reacting this way won't help you."
"Who are you to say what will and won't help?"
"Your boss."
"Oh." She deflated slightly. "That's right."
"Is it safe to let go of you now?"
"... Yes."
He did so. "Then let's break for coffee, or tea, or something, and we can talk about the nature of reality."
Seven minutes later, they were in the common room, sharing a pot of Earl Grey. They'd almost made a ceremony out of the brewing and serving.
"To answer your question, you're right. I don't know what it's like to be considered to be a fictional character. But I do know what it's like to be famous in certain circles, which is similar; I used to have a reputation in some fan communities."
"What were you a fan of?"
"Let's not go there."
"Japanese cartoons."
"Yes, for their technical merits. Let's not go there."
"Are you still-?"
"No."
"So, you've redefined yourself?"
Not really, Rob thought but didn't say. "You can redefine yourself, too, even if you remain a maid."
"How do we do that?"
"First, we look at what makes up you as you are now, then you throw away some things and build on others. One example: You're not really Tsuchimikado's sister, right?" Maika nodded. "But you feel something for him, right?" She nodded again. "Then, if we find him, we don't treat the two of you as brother and sister."
"What?"
"Wouldn't you rather have a more accurate description of your relationship?"
She thought for a moment. "You're saying I should marry him."
"I was thinking more a common-law relationship, but if that's what the two of you want... Oh, right - you're a practising Christian, aren't you? Never mind the common-law bit. I suppose I was saying that, after all."
"Why?"
"It would bring your relationship out into the open, and make both of you less the fictional characters described on that wiki and more your own people."
"It would, wouldn't it?" She sipped at her tea. "It can't be just my decision, of course."
"Of course. And now that you've read your own Wikia entry, you can stop letting the fandom define you and start thinking about what else to emphasize in your life that isn't listed there."
"That's true. I'll do that, after work tonight." She put her teacup down and picked up one of the sweets that Rob had served with it. "Hey, this isn't a macaroon!"
"Some people are allergic to coconut, and I didn't want to take the risk that you might be one of them. That's a cornflake cluster."
Maika studied it for a moment. "Cornflakes and dark chocolate, and ... what?"
"A hint of orange essence. What do you think?"
She popped in in her mouth and savoured it. "It's ... decadent."
Rob knew from the source material that Maika didn't always show as much respect as a proper maid should, and let her choice of words slide. "Good. Now, let's finish up and get back to work; you can leave the rest of the anger and the decadence for after supper tonight."
November 20, 2016
12:03 pm ET
Rob's phone started playing Science Genius Girl. "Sorry, I'd better take this," he said as he stood up and left the table.
Once he was in the hall, he answered the phone. "Hello, Washuu-chan."
"What took you so long?"
"You pulled me away from Sunday luncheon with everyone."
"Not everyone."
"I assure you, all fourteen of my human roommates and all three Mau are enjoying a roast beef dinner - a meal that I made for the very first time since moving into this building, and that I'm not enjoying because I'm talking on the phone." Rob emphasized those last five words just slightly.
"Sorry. But you're missing a half-dozen boarders. No, you called them roommates. So you're getting to be a family over there."
"We are, and we're happy about it. And I'm glad Milady Skuld dropped that hint when she was over so I'd know enough to get some rooms ready. You've finished treating their pre-existing medical conditions, I gather."
"That saves a lot of exposition. When do you want us to drop in?"
Rob thought for a quick moment. "Give us two hours, to finish lunch and clean up the place a bit."
2:05 pm ET
Rob had unlocked the security door that they'd installed in front of the portal in the mail room – nobody wanted a lucky Unseelie invader to gain access to the other residences – but hadn't yet opened it when he heard the telltale hum of power flowing through the portal. He did so, quickly.
Rob smiled. "Welcome back to Ottawa, Washuu-chan. And welcome to your home away from home, everyone else. Come in, please; we have a busy afternoon ahead of us."
"Busier than you might expect. Last stop, all out!" Washuu stepped out of the doorway, followed by four girls who looked just like Mikoto (one of whom was carrying a cat), a girl who appeared to be their younger sister, and a thin pale white-haired teenaged boy. All of them except Washuu were wearing backpacks and carrying duffel bags.
The albino looked around as they walked across the hall and into the common room. "So, this is where we'll be staying from now on. Tch. Whatever."
Makoto leaned over to Rei. "He reminds me of my sempai. The one who I dumped."
"Oh, that jerk. Maybe he'll be better."
Everyone else ignored them. The apparent quadruplets turned to Rob. Amazingly, the one who was also carrying a cat smiled slightly. "Thank you for being willing to take us in, Misaka Niiko says with genuine warmth," she said almost tonelessly. The cat meowed, which made her add, "Hush, Schrödinger, Misaka Niiko instructs."
Rob was impressed. Considering that the last time he had seen the clones, they hadn't learned how to show any expressions, this was a major step forward for them. "Thank you for being willing to live here. I should warn you now that Ottawa is nowhere near as warm as Vancouver is."
"The cold never bothered me anyway, Misaka Rei quotes."
"This cold might. The temperature outside is near the freezing point of water, and in two months you'll be wishing it was this warm again."
"We have warm weather gear in our bags, Misaka Kokoro reassures you."
"You'll need it," Kuroko assured them. (She thought that she was hiding her reaction to the sudden long-term presence of four people who looked just like her oneesama living in the building, but everyone else could see the dreamy smile on her face. The Sisters also noticed the almost-predatory look in Kuroko's eyes.)
The other sister looked around. "None of you are wearing skirts, Misaka Nana comments in wonder, leaving the obvious question unspoken."
"It's far too cold outside to not wear slacks," Usagi explained.
"Where will we be sleeping, Misaka Rei asks? We have belongings to unpack, Rei adds in explanation."
Rob motioned toward the stairs. "We have some apartments waiting for you on the second and third floors of the building, all with a minimum of furnishings so that you can at least put your belongings away and get some sleep tonight. Accelerator and Misaka Misaka, I made an assumption that you'd want to share an apartment, so the two of you get one of our precious two-bedroom units. There are four more one-bedroom apartments ready for the rest of you."
"What's in them?"
Rob didn't expect Accelerator to be polite, so he took comfort in the fact that the esper was at least asking questions. "Kitchenette, chairs, table, wall-mounted television set, bed, and closet with clothes hangers. Two beds and closets in the two-bedroom place. Toilet, sink, and tub with shower in the washroom. We've already provided some menstrual products in the girls' washrooms, just in case, and everybody has toilet paper, towels, and shampoo. If you want to soak, I'd suggest using the sentou in the basement."
"You have a sentou in the basement, Misaka Rei asks in disbelief."
"We do! Wait until you see it!" Ruiko almost grabbed Accelerator by the hand to pull him along, realized at the last moment what she was doing, then dropped her hands to her sides. "Er... if you want to see the bath, that is."
"Later, Rui-chan." Rob turned his attention back to the newcomers. "I'll help you choose some better furniture next week, if you want it."
Washuu looked puzzled. "Didn't you set up a sixth apartment?"
"I already did, as a guest room. But why would we need it now? Are you staying over?"
Washuu slapped her own forehead. "That's right, I forgot to tell you!" She pulled a wafer-thin device out of her pocket.
"What's this?" Rob asked.
Washuu-chan grinned. "Based on my detailed and repeated studies of your boarders from Academy City, Accelerator, and the Misaka Sisters, I have created an AIM Concentrator and Manifester!"
Two puppets popped up, one on each of her shoulders. "You're a genius, Washuu-chan! You're the greatest, Washuu-chan!"
Hey, that's from a different continuity, thought Rob. In the most deadpan voice he could muster (which was nowhere near as deadpan as the Misaka Sisters' speech), all he said was "What."
"Misaka Misaka likes them, and she was my lab assistant during the design phase. Back in your cages, you two!" The puppets returned to whence they came. "As I was saying, this collects and concentrates the AIM fields that your espers give off, focuses them, and allows them to manifest in an anthropomorphized state."
"You're kidding. You're not kidding. Who was manifested?"
"When I tried it with just Misaka Misaka in the lab, it manifested a one-inch-tall version of her. When I tried it with all of the Misaka sisters in the lab, it manifested a three-inch-tall version of Misaka Mikoto. I want to try it out here, with every esper on the planet within range."
Rob reached out and covered the activation button before Washuu could trigger the device. "How long did the manifested personality remain in existence?"
"Until I turned off the manifester. Yes, that means the personification remained even after the Misaka sisters left the area."
Rob thought for a moment, then moved his hand away.
"You're expecting somebody in particular, too. Let's find out whether we're right." Washuu flipped the safety cover open, pushed the button, and flipped the cover back over the control. Everybody watched as the device hummed, then quieted down. Then a light appeared above the device, resolving into a human shape - a teenaged girl in a Japanese school uniform, with a ponytail on the left side of her head, glasses over her eyes, flawless skin, and a build that even Mii would be hard-pressed to match. Washuu looked at Rob. "Am I good, or am I good?"
"You're good, Washuu-chan. I'm surprised that she's twelve inches tall, though."
"More espers being present means there's a larger AIM diffusion field to work with."
"How many espers are there on Earth right now?" asked Rob, completely unaware of some people who were even then keeping a very low profile in Chicago.
The girl suddenly moved, then smiled and cleared her throat. "Er... hello?"
Rob immediately turned his attention to her. "Hello, miss. My name's Rob Donaldson. I'm pleased to meet you."
"Kazakiri Hyoga. [1] I'm pleased to meet you." She looked around. "Oh, I was hoping to see Index."
Washuu and Rob looked surprised, since neither of them were expecting her to have continuity of memory from her home reality. Rob wasn't even sure that she was the same person, considering Washuu's comment about manifesting copies of Last Order and Railgun, but he had no reason to doubt her.
Mii noticed and replied, "You aren't in Academy City at the moment, Hyoga-san."
Rob grinned sheepishly. "We don't know where Index and Touma are, but we are looking for them. Sorry."
"It would be nice if we could find them."
Hyoga turned to the speaker. "Hello! I know who you are. You're Railgun."
"Please don't call me that. I have a name: Misaka Mikoto."
While Hyoga, Mikoto, and the other espers talked, Ami leaned over to Rob and Washuu. "What's an A-I-M diffusion field?"
"Something that espers from Academy City give off simply by living. AIM stands for 'an involuntary movement'. Please don't ask me for specifics, because I don't have any. Hyoga is... well, you've seen the anime, haven't you?"
"I must have missed the episodes that she was in. I'll have to watch them later."
She'd missed the climaxes to both seasons of A Certain Magical Index? Rob didn't push the matter, but made a mental note to find out later whether Ami had watched any of the shows he'd made available to everyone. "Washuu-chan, how long will the power last on that manifester?"
"Until my lab collapses in the heat death of its pocket universe. You don't need to worry about her disappearing because the power ran out."
"Oh, good." Then Rob smiled and chuckled.
"Care to share the joke?"
"If Hyoga ends up dating someone, that person's going to have a real-life imaginary girlfriend." (Rob had no idea how right - and how wrong - that statement was.)
"Not just that," Washuu-chan pointed out. "She'll be a girlfriend from Canada, too."
Ruiko grinned at Rob's remark. "The Imaginary Number District actually exists? I knew it! Is it true that I could get there if I crossed between districts in Academy City at 4:44 pm? Oh, and I'm Ruiko Saten. Hi."
"Hello. No, Saten-san, real people can't enter the Imaginary Number District. Only monsters like me."
Mikoto interrupted before Hyoga could continue. "We don't care what Academy City intended you to be. We care who you are, not what you are. From what I read in the novels, Kamijo-san and Index-san think you're a person - a good person - so that's good enough for me."
Hyoga smiled a shaky smile. "Really?" She started crying. "You really think so?"
"Hey! Please don't cry, Misaka Misaka asks with tears about to fall from her own eyes!"
Off to the side, Rob leaned toward Washuu and whispered, "Is it my imagination, or did Kazakiri just get bigger?"
At the same volume, she replied, "I think she just grew, too. The espers might be responsible, with their sudden belief in her existence. Their esper powers are based on belief, after all."
"She isn't Tinkerbell."
"And nobody's clapping. I need to take some measurements."
4:18 pm ET
"You have no doubt noticed that my clone sisters and I have a verbal tic that involves identifying ourselves when we speak, Misaka Rei points out. As long as I continue to do that, I do not see any possibility of confusion here, Misaka Rei adds."
After a moment, Rei Hino nodded. "I suppose that would work. You don't mind being called by your complete name?"
"It is what I am accustomed to hearing, Misaka Rei answers."
November 21, 2016
7:22 am ET
Rob nodded to the three girls who walked into the common room. "Good morning, Chibiusa, Misaka Misaka, Hyoga!" He noticed they were all roughly the same height, and Hyoga was wearing the manifester on a filigree chain around her neck. "You might want to get a more substantial chain for that necklace, Hyoga."
"Good morning, Rob! Thank you for worrying about me."
"Hi, Rob-oji-san!"
"Good morning, Rob, says Misaka Misaka as she walks to the refrigerator. Do we have any juice, Misaka Misaka asks?"
"Orange, apple, and pineapple. Take your pick."
"Orange, please, Misaka Misaka decides."
Hyoga poured herself a cup of coffee. "Why do you always use your full name, Misaka?"
"So nobody thinks I'm one of my sisters, Misaka Misaka answers! I have lots of sisters, Misaka Misaka adds in explanation."
"The number of Misaka Sisters! It's over nine thousand!" Everyone else ignored Rob.
"My name's Usagi, just like my mom, but everybody calls me Chibiusa. It's a nickname!"
"Misaka Misaka wants a nickname too, Misaka Misaka insists!"
Rob smiled as he brought a plate of toast over to the table and sat down beside Hyoga. "Well, then, let's see what we can come up with. How about 'Chibi-Misaka'?"
"That's too close to my nickname," the pink-haired Senshi said with a pout.
"What's wrong with Last Order?" asked Hyoga.
"The connection between us isn't something people should know, Misaka Misaka replies with foreboding while buttering a slice of toast."
Rob nodded. As far as Academy City was concerned, the 'last order' that Misaka Misaka was ever intended to give was to activate Hyoga; it was only because Index could undo what was done to the girl that both Misaka Misaka and Hyoga were still themselves and sane.
"Call her 'needlessly genki girl'."
Rob didn't look up. "And good morning to you too, Accelerator. Coffee's on the side table, toast is on the big table."
"Whatever."
"Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka ... Misaka Misaka. It's hard to come up with a nickname, Misaka Misaka announces! Misaka Misaka Misaka Misa Misa...."
"Misa Misaka? That's not too bad." Hyoga tilted her head and lifted a finger to her chin. "No, wait, wasn't there something about a magical girl named Misa somewhere?"
"Misa Misa Misa Misa Misa Mi Mi Mi ..."
Hyoga thought for a moment. "Mi Misaka? That could work."
Rob shook his head. "That could cause some confusion if Mii was ever to adopt her."
"Why would Konori-san adopt Misaka Misaka, Misaka Misaka asks? Besides, Mi and Mii are two different names, Misaka Misaka adds. Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi MiMiMi..."
Rob blinked. "Mimi?"
"Mimi Misaka?" Chibiusa almost sang the name.
"Misaka Misaka likes Mimi Misaka, Misaka Misaka announces! No, Mimi Misaka announces, Mimi Misaka corrects herself!"
"This is bull-"
"Thank you, Accelerator," Rob interrupted as his phone chimed to indicate receiving a message. "Mimi it is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take this."
After Rob left, the newly-christened Mimi turned to Chibiusa. "He never told us why Konori-san might adopt me, Mimi Misaka comments in a confidential tone."
"Eat your breakfast, brat."
"That's Mimi brat, Mimi Misaka insists!"
In the hallway, Rob checked the text message, noting it was from Washuu-chan. "Measurements analyzed. Hyoga should reach her full human size within 24 hours. I'm making ID for her now. Do you want to foster her, too?"
He sent back "List her as 17, and we can keep her out of the foster system altogether."
"That means you won't get fosterage money from the government."
"We'll manage somehow."
----
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 21, 2016
10:13 am ET
"You should be asking the RCMP. They're the ones who are responsible for this."
Rob sighed. "I don't want to lie to a police officer, and how would they react if I said 'I have four fictional characters living with me who need firearms licenses'?"
"I can see where that would be a problem. Okay: first, I absolutely cannot let you practice at the range at the police station. Second ... you said four. Some of the Misaka clones?"
"I can see why you made detective so young. Yes."
"The minor's license is good for non-restricted rifles and shotguns only. And you'll need a possession and acquisition license, too, since they're living with you."
"I expected as much. What's required for these?"
"Each of you has to take the Canadian Firearms Safety Course - the RA Centre has a shooting range and can find you instructors. Once you pass that, you can apply for your PAL and the girls' licenses."
"And what will that let me buy?"
"I assume you want to buy weapons for your own use, not for theirs. No, don't interrupt me. That will let you purchase non-restricted firearms only. If you want something else, you'll need to take the Canadian Restricted Firearms Safety Course as well. And don't bother asking for a license for those automatic rifles I saw them use in the anime, because those are on the prohibited list. Oh, and do me a favour, will you? Let the shooting club keep your weapons under lock and key. I don't want the girls walking around with weapons in their gym bags. If they did and I knew about them, I'd have to arrest them."
"That shouldn't be a problem; I don't want the girls walking around with weapons, either. Thanks for the help."
RA Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
11:48 am ET
"It's somewhat unusual for the RA Centre to include foster children in a family membership, Mr. Donaldson."
"I'm not surprised, but my foster daughters are the only family I have. Would you allow children to become members on their own?"
The desk clerk thought for a moment. "I think I can see my way clear to setting you up as a family, then. What are the children's names?"
"Niiko Misaka, Kokoro Misaka, Nana Misaka, and Rei Misaka." Rob spelled the names for the clerk.
"Ages?"
This wasn't the time or the place to tell the truth. "13."
"What, all of them?"
"And they're identical quadruplets, too. Identical down to their interests, which is one reason why I'm fostering them all. They want to join the Gun Club."
The clerk was shocked. "All of them? At age 13? My God, what happened to them?"
Rob looked stern. "Even if I had been told that, I wouldn't be at liberty to repeat it. But I'll point out that they've been given a male guardian."
"Oh. Yes. Of course. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that." Somewhat embarassedly, the clerk cleared her throat. "Are you interested in the Gun Club as well?"
"Not really, but I'll have to get a license if the girls are going to be allowed to get their licenses, so sign me up, too. Sign me up for the Photography Club as well, please."
The clerk grinned, happy to have something else to talk about. "You're interested in a different kind of shooting."
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
6:11 pm ET
"I don't eat onions, Misaka Niiko points out."
Makoto immediately put down the casserole dish that she was about to pass to the newcomers. "Oh. This potato dish has onions in it."
"I'll make do with the chicken breast and the corn, Misaka Niiko reassures everyone."
Mikoto looked at her clone, who was sitting across from her at the big table in the common room. "Why won't you eat onions? I know I'm not allergic to them."
"It is a moral choice, Misaka Niiko admits. So many of my clone sisters were killed for a project that ultimately failed that I have trouble accepting the idea of killing a living thing just for my own benefit."
Rei Hino nodded. "That's similar to why many Buddhists don't eat onions. I can respect that, even if I don't live that way myself."
"But you eat meat," Rob pointed out.
"I am not the only one who benefits from a chicken's sacrifice, Misaka Niiko explains. Killing an onion plant only feeds one person for one meal."
Usagi nodded. "I think I see what you're saying. And that means you don't eat carrots, either." She turned to Makoto. "So no more serving carrots, Mako-chan!"
"You just don't like carrots," Chibiusa muttered as she helped herself to some carrots.
7:14 pm ET
There weren't any instructors at the gun club that evening to give them their introductory exam, so the Misaka sisters decided to give the building's bath a try instead. Once they stepped through the portal into the dimensional pocket and then down the hall to the sentou, they noticed two doors, labelled "Ladies" and "Rob" - the latter obviously having recently had "and Mamoru" added with paint and "and Accelerator" added with a sticky note. None of them expressed any interest in seeing what the men's side of the baths looked like.
It was almost normal for a sentou, the most obvious difference being that all the signs were in English. Nothing was floating, there was only one level to the bath, the floor and walls were tiled, and there was a mural of Mount Fuji painted on the rear wall of the room. Most importantly to the newcomers, Washuu-chan had installed a teleport shield; Kuroko Shirai couldn't teleport in while the Misaka Sisters were naked.
The sisters stripped, washed, and entered the bath in complete silence. Not that they weren't communicating; they were taking the opportunity to use their mental connection when nobody would be freaked out by it.
After a while, they heard the door open. "Is anybody in here?"
So much for not freaking out anyone else. But they remembered from the memories Last Order - Mimi - had shared that Hyoga wasn't just anyone else. Looked at from a certain metaphysical viewpoint, she was almost one of them.
"The four of us are currently soaking, Misaka Niiko answers."
"You are welcome to join us, Misaka Rei adds."
After a few moments, Hyoga walked in, wearing only a towel - which she slipped out of as she slipped into the water. "Oh, this feels good! I've never been in a communal bath before."
The others looked at her for a moment. After consulting with each other mentally, they decided who would ask the question on their shared minds. "If I am prying, please ignore this question, but why are your breasts different from ours, Misaka Niiko asks?"
Hyoga blushed. "Well, some girls just have larger ..."
"That is not what we meant, Misaka Rei interrupts in order to save time." She pointed to her own chest. "We have aureolae and nipples." She consciously left 'Rei adds in explanation' unsaid as obvious.
Hyoga took a closer look. "Is that normal? I've never seen a person naked before, either. Even when Index and I were having our photos taken while cosplaying, we still wore underwear when we were changing."
"It's completely normal, Misaka Kokoro answers."
Hyoga said nothing for a moment. "Then... why don't I have them?"
"We don't know, Misaka Nana answers."
"Perhaps Mr. Donaldson knows, or could find out, Misaka Rei suggests."
"I don't think I want to show him my naked chest. We just met each other yesterday."
"We can describe the differences between us without showing him anything, Misaka Niiko suggests. Are there any other anatomical differences between us, Niiko asks while standing in the bath."
Hyoga looked at her, nodded, and stood up herself.
8:27 pm ET
"... and the first thing that came to mind was a Barbie doll, Misaka Niiko finishes."
Rob thought for a moment, then turned to Hyoga. "I'm not surprised. Aleister and his people designed you to be an artificial angel, after all, and angels are traditionally described as being sexless."
"I'm obviously female, though."
"True. Aleister Crowley imagined angels as something quite different from the usual description - although you don't match that description, either."
"What did Aleister come up with?"
Rob looked Hyoga straight in the eye. "You really don't want to know."
She shivered in fear, then recovered. "I wonder whether that's why I fought so hard against being activated."
"Could be. I think we need some expert help here. I'll call Washuu-chan... no, I'll text Milady Skuld and ask her to ask Milady Belldandy."
8:44 pm ET
"Milady Belldandy's reply was, and I quote, 'I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to tell you'."
"That sucks, Misaka Kokoro mutters in annoyance."
"I'll say. Why couldn't I have a body like everybody else's?"
"Do you want me to ask Washuu-chan whether she can do anything?"
Hyoga thought for a long moment. "I don't know." Then, after another moment, she added, "No. Don't go to any trouble on my account."
November 22, 2016
7:41 am ET
"Do we get to go to school any time soon, Misaka Mimi asks with curiosity between spoonfuls of cereal. Everybody else gets to go."
"I'm stuck here, too," Chibiusa replied while reaching for the milk.
"Be glad you don't have to waste time in boring classes, kid."
Rob looked up from his bacon-and-eggs. "The school board won't take you until the beginning of the next term, which starts after Christmas, although we'll get your placement tests in before that. Be patient for a month. And do you want to attend classes, Accelerator? I can ask for them to give you a placement test at the same time the Misaka Sisters and Chibiusa take theirs."
"May as well. What about the meganekko with the big -?"
"I have a name," Hyoga interrupted. "Please use it."
"Fine. What about Kazakiri?"
"I'm taking a high-school-equivalency diploma exam later today."
"Maybe I should do that."
Rob nodded. "I thought you might want to, so I made arrangements for a possibility of two people taking the test, just in case. I'll let them know you are able to attend after all. Here's your student ID card."
Accelerator read it. "'Axel A. Rayder?' This is bullshit."
"Then tell us your real name."
"I guess this works."
There was a moment of relative quiet as everyone ate, which Mamoru broke by asking "Do you need any help around the building today, Rob?"
"Ordinarily, I'd say yes, but you have something more important to do today."
"I do?"
"Take a look out the back door. Somebody at one of the other buildings was granted a wish yesterday, and it was worded broadly enough for the megami to do you and Mii-san a favour while they were granting it. You need to go visit the license bureau, and I need to go buy some winter covers for your vehicles - maybe a prefab carport." As Mamoru bolted for the door, Rob turned to the others. "You should check your own rooms while you're at it. You just might have some personal belongings in your dresser drawers that weren't there yesterday."
Just then, a very loud squeal of delight came from Mikoto's apartment, followed by "My collection of Gekota toys!!!"
Rob smiled and continued. "Maybe you should go look now."
"It can wait, Misaka Rei announces, deciding to be polite and finish breakfast first."
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada / The Masaki residence, Vancouver, BC, Canada
8:33 am ET / 5:33 am PT
"I'm sorry to disturb you so early in the day, Washuu-chan."
"What do you need?"
"What makes you think -?"
"You're only this apologetic when you want something, Rob."
"You know me too well. We need a gun vault that the local police won't be able to find. It seems that Milady Belldandy granted a wide-area wish last night, and as a side-effect the Misaka sisters have their fully-automatic rifles again."
"That explains the gun vault, but not the undetectable part."
"Private ownership of fully-automatic weapons is illegal in Canada."
"I'll be there in three minutes."
3:21 pm ET
"Congratulations, Hyoga! Congratulations, 'Axel'!"
"They marked our exams very quickly."
"Why wouldn't they? They had a very advanced computer marking the tests."
Chibiusa looked up at Rob. "You didn't...?"
Rob shook his head. "All I asked HAL to do was make sure the tests were graded accurately. It's the province's standards that are lax." He turned to Hyoga and Accelerator. "Now that you have your high school diplomas, there's no way I can apply for fosterage money for either of you. I can carry you for a couple of months, but you'll need something to bring in an income soon, whether it's a university scholarship or a job. Time to think about what you want to do with your lives."
RA Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
7:16 pm ET
The five of them walked into the RA Centre's Gun Club, drawing attention immediately - and not just because the Misaka sisters had all chosen to wear their school uniforms. "Hello, we're the Donaldson/Misaka family."
An instructor walked over. "Ah, you're the new members! Welcome to the club. Please, call me John."
"Pleased to meet you, John," Rob said as they shook hands. "I'm going to be honest with you: the only reason I'm here is because I'm the girls' legal guardian."
"We can work with that. How much do you know about guns?"
"I know enough to always treat them as if they're loaded, and to not point them at anything I don't intend to shoot, and that's about it. The girls know much more."
"Those are two good baselines to start with. Let's get you a rifle and see how well you can handle it." Ten minutes later, Rob had gone through a dozen rounds and managed to put one in the outer ring of the target. John said, "I've seen worse first tries."
"I really don't have the eyesight for shooting. Keep the glasses on and the sight path's distorted; take them off and I can't make out the rings."
"Sight path? Oh, yes, I think I know what you're saying. Who wants to go next?"
Three minutes later, Niiko had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
Three minutes after that, Kokoro had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
Three minutes after that, Rei had put five shots in a tight grouping in the centre ring.
The range official called a stop to shooting (which momentarily disappointed Nana, who wanted to show off as well), then walked over. "Are we sure that isn't the same girl trying out over and over again?"
"I think they're different girls," answered John. "But I'm not sure. Clear four lanes for them; I want to see them all shoot at the same time."
Four minutes later, the girls had given their targets "five rounds rapid", shooting out a identical × on each bulls-eye.
"What the hell..." John was flabbergasted.
Rob quietly walked over to Niiko, who was using the outermost lane. "Girls, if you don't stop freaking the mundanes right now, then I won't pay your range fees."
It took them less than two minutes to shoot different patterns of three shots into different parts of their targets.
"Much better." Rob turned to John. "They had the same teacher and took the same classes."
"Even so, they shouldn't be that much alike!"
"Are they in?"
"Yes! I want to learn how they did that!"
Blossom Apartments, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
November 23, 2016
11:12 am ET
"Nice work."
Mamoru put down the hammer he was holding and looked at the gutters he had just installed on the new prefab carport. "Thanks. It's too bad I have to keep my car in here over the winter."
"Trust me, you really don't want to drive a convertible in the winter in Ottawa."
"Oh, I agree; I don't want frostbite on my face, either. It's just that I just got my car back..."
"And Mii-san just got her bike back, too. At least you can drive my car when I'm not using it."
"You drive an automatic with left-hand drive. Why did we install a bucket at the end of the downspout? We have city water."
"The city water's fluoridated. Rain water and snow meltwater is better for the plants out in front of the building."
"We don't have any plants out in front of the building."
Rob smiled. "Not yet, but I'm sure Mako-chan and Chibiusa will want to plant some flowers come spring time. Now, let's rig an overhang to cover my car over the winter, and then we can get an electrician in to install some more floodlights to keep unwanted visitors away from our cars."
November 23, 2016
1:01 pm ET
Rob had wondered whether he could put Mamoru on the building's payroll. While Mamoru didn't need the money, Rob could use the help with the maintenance work. He figured calling the higher-ups was worth a shot.
"Look, you've got me acting as a corporate official and a building manager. ... Yes, I know I signed two contracts. ... You're damned right that it's a Hell of a job. I need some help with it. I need either an administrative assistant, a housekeeper, or a handyman. ... Or I'll hire one on my own and pay him out of the corporate funds. ... Yes, I can do that. Section 19, paragraph 3. ... Fine. Email me the list."
After he hung up, Rob thought, 'Of course Sebastian has a list of housekeeper candidates. So much for getting Lord Phantomhive to slip Mamoru some money as a live-in handyman; he'll have to find work elsewhere. Or I can pay him out of my own pocket, if he'll let me.'
1:33 pm ET
Rob thought that he should have asked for an administrative assistant and a housekeeper. None of the people on the list were going to be able to help with the paperwork. He realized that he'd made a Hell of a choice in who to ask for.
There were three names on the list that Sebastian had forwarded to Rob. He recognized all three.
As much as he thought Taeko Minazuki might be a good choice, he realized that if Taeko moved to Ottawa, the rest of the major characters from Ai Yori Aoshi would follow sooner or later. He already had teenage angst to worry about; he didn't need unrequited love issues as well. Better to let her and them go elsewhere, he thought, maybe New Jersey or Venice. They'd probably like Venice. Besides, it was Taeko - the one character from that story that Rob could see himself falling in love with ... and for whatever reason he already had two smart and lovely ladies filling that role in his life. He didn't wonder why he suddenly already had two smart and lovely ladies filling that role in his life.
And he thought that it would be an even worse idea to hire Mahoro Ando - at least, not until Washuu-chan could extend her lifespan and she could engage in combat without worrying whether it would kill her. The building was still being attacked by the Host on an irregular basis; he didn't want Management to attack them as well.
And when did he start thinking of the household as a paramilitary force? That was the opposite of what he had wanted a month ago.
The third name ... Yeah. It was a Hell of a choice that Sebastian was giving him. Then Rob realized he might be able to use that choice to his own advantage.
5:14 pm ET
"Mr. Donaldson, could I see you for a moment, please?"
"Of course, Ms. Konori." Rob walked into Mii's apartment, and she closed the door behind him ... then stood on tiptoe and kissed him.
Once his tongue was available again, Rob asked, "What's that for? Not that I'm complaining." For some reason, he didn't wonder why he wasn't complaining, given their age difference.
"That's for setting up a place for me to keep my bike over the winter. Thank you."
"Mamoru helped."
"I'm not giving him a kiss. You might get jealous. Usagi almost definitely would."
Politely but out of character for him, Rob replied, "I choose to remain silent on that matter. Now, is there anything else, Ms. Konori?"
"I could use your help with these..." Mii reached for her blouse's buttons and smiled, which should have but didn't set off alarm bells in Rob's thoughts.
Rob sighed. Finally back in character for him, he replied, "Not before your eighteenth birthday."
She mock-pouted, then grinned and took a step back so he could see her figure better. "Then I suppose that's all."
"I'll be on my way, then." Rob turned and opened the door, to discover Ruiko waiting in the hallway, grinning. "What, are we that obvious?"
"I don't think Kazari, Mikoto, Mimi, Chibiusa, Diana, or either of the Reis have noticed yet," Ruiko replied.
"Actually, I had noticed, Misaka Rei interjects from down the hallway. It's Misaka Kokoro who hasn't noticed, Misaka Rei adds."
Rob looked over his shoulder at Mii. "Should we tell everyone?"
Mii shrugged her shoulders. "The two of us can't make that decision."
6:51 pm ET
As everyone was about to leave the dinner table, Ami said, "We have an announcement."
Two minutes later, Usagi and Kazari had Ami and Mii in a group hug; Kuroko was rolling her eyes at Mikoto's puzzled expression; Mimi, Diana, and Chibiusa were grinning; Ruiko and Minako were talking about bridesmaid's dresses; Luna and the Misaka sisters were wondering which reality the happy trio would be calling home once the time came to leave; Makoto was thinking about wedding cake recipes with a dreamy look on her face; Mamoru and Artemis (in human form) were smiling as they cleared the dishes from the table; Accelerator wasn't interested at all... and Rei Hino was scowling.
Ami had always been interested in men who were older than her father,[2] so everybody who knew her thought that this was perfectly natural... whatever they might have thought if it was somebody else who had made the announcement. Rei's concerns were in another area.
The first chance she had, Rei grabbed Rob's arm and walked him out to the corridor. "Why?"
"What?"
"Not what, why? Why do you get to be open about your love now and I have to wait?"
"You have to... Is that what Inara told you during the Halloween party?"
"Yes!" she hissed.
"You're sure? That doesn't sound like her to me at all."
"I'm sure... No, I'm not sure." The fire in Rei's eyes dimmed, but didn't completely disappear. "She told me about love, and appearances, and ..." She trailed off; the rest of what Inara had told her was none of Rob's business.
"Appearances. Of course. She's protecting you, and it sounds like she did a good job. Have you talked with whoever it is you love about this?" She shook her head. "Then you need to talk with them before any of you make any decisions. One thing that I'll tell you, and I'm sure it's the same thing that Ami and Mii are telling everyone else right now: We don't want word of this to leave the building yet. Polyamoury is still rare enough that it would put both of my loves' careers at risk if anyone found out before they have professional reputations of their own, although I'm sure they aren't mentioning that to anyone in our common room."
"But... that's... Why should anyone else care what your personal life is like? You're not..." She trailed off again, as if she had run out of lines to read from a script.
"Don't ask me. Other people's love lives don't affect me, and ours doesn't affect anyone else, and the three of us are facing our futures together with love and mutual respect and clear and informed consent from all three of us. That should be enough. But it isn't, not according to the law."
"The law is... the law is..." Rei fumed while trying to figure out how to finish her sentence.
Rob finished it for her. "The law is an ass." At her shocked look at his vulgarity, he continued, "George Chapman, 'Revenge for Honour', 1654. If you want to change the law, you could run for office once you're 18."
"No, thank you," she replied coldly.
"Or you could help Usagi run for office, and advise her once she's elected."
"Isn't she going to become Neo-Queen Serenity anyway?"
"If I recall the canon backstory correctly, she'll be elected to the position after she saves the world from a disaster of some sort. Assuming the same disaster happens here or you go home, of course. Either way, she could use the experience of running for office in a few years, and I can't think of anyone better suited to help her than you. Oh! Is she...?"
"Yes."
"Then I'd best let you go talk with her. And I think that I have to make it clear to a few people that Ami and Mii and I aren't getting married just yet, nor are the three of us about to share an apartment."
"You're not going to live together? Why not?"
"We're not going to live together yet. Because the law is an ass. Legally, I shouldn't be interested in them until they're 18, because legally, I'm still Mii and Ami's foster father."
For some reason that even Rei didn't know, that statement sounded perfectly reasonable to her; it fit the narrative of their three lives so well. "We have to do something about that."
"There are plans ready to go as soon as it becomes possible for us to be open about our relationship. Until then, we continue the way we are."
Rei sighed. "I never would have guessed you were the type to only pay lip service to laws that you didn't like."
"We're already ignoring some laws. Those automatic rifles that the Misaka sisters own are illegal in this country, but I'm not going to tell the girls to surrender them. But before you start comparing me to some Diet members that I suspect you've been introduced to back in your home universe, I'll point out that I'm ignoring laws that are detrimental to other people, not to myself."
Rei frowned. "Can I tell you about something called the slippery slope?"
"Can you trust that I have three times as much life experience as you, and know all about the slippery slope?" Forsome reason, that age difference didn't seem to matter in the case of his relationship with Mii and Ami. "I'm not happy about being a lawbreaker, but I'm not about to risk your lives or Ami's and Mii's happiness. And I'd appreciate it if you keep telling me when you think I'm making a bad moral or ethical call."
"Why me?" she asked, surprised.
"Because I trust you to not want to spare my feelings when you call me out."
Rob's phone pinged, then pinged twice again in rapid succession. Even before looking, he knew what the texts would say. As he reached for his phone, he wondered who didn't keep the secret. "Excuse me."
"Congratulations! -Tenchi"
"You'd better treat them well, or you'll feel my hammer! Be happy. -Skuld"
"What took you so long? -Washuu"
He showed the phone to Rei. "So much for keeping things secret."
And back in the common room, Mikoto was still puzzled as to why everybody else thought a relationship between a middle-age man and two teenage girls was a good thing, even with Ruiko telling her about Studio CLAMP's works and Usagi telling her about Tenchi Muyo! While she knew from experience that it was possible for Misaki Shokuhō to control so many minds at the same time, she was pretty sure that Tokiwadai's other Level 5 esper was nowhere nearby. Maybe she was just being paranoid, she suddeny thought.
But before Mikoto could say anything about her concerns, the Good Neighbour System's alarm went off.
And by the time that the situation in Montreal was resolved, everybody was too tired to continue a discussion about three people's love lives... and, the next morning, Mikoto completely forgot why she had been concerned about it in the first place.
November 24, 2016
4:42 pm ET
"Now that I have you alone: How long have you been dating Konori-sempai, Donaldson-san?"
"About a month now, Kuroko. She told me her feelings the night that she was attacked by the Host."
Kuroko relaxed slightly. "That was a hectic time for everyone. No doubt you simply forgot to tell us at the time, being more concerned with whether Mii-sempai would survive." Rob knew better than to disagree; he simply nodded. "As for the matter of hiring someone to help here, I don't understand why you want me involved in the process, Rob-san."
"Because Mikoto's busy. If this is who I think it is, you'll understand as soon as she walks through the door."
As if on cue, the office door opened, and a Japanese girl who looked to be about Usagi's age walked in. She was wearing a blue dress with an apron and a maid's cap, and her short hair was pulled back from her face. Amazingly enough for Blossom Apartments, she wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, or even cute. "Hello, the Funtom Placement Agency sent me about the maid position that you contacted them ab... Shirai!?"
"Maika?"
"And I'm Rob Donaldson. Now that we know each other, the job's yours if you want it." Both girls looked at Rob; he turned to Kuroko. "Is there some reason why I shouldn't hire Miss Tsuchimikado?"
"Her brother ..." Kuroko started, then stopped.
"Yes, we know her brother is a spy for Necessarius." Maika gasped in surprise. Rob ignored her. "And so is she. I'd rather Necessarius has somebody inside sending reports back than have them attack us because they don't know what's going on here, which means they need an information conduit out of our building." Rob turned to Maika and smiled. "Also, I've been assured that you actually are a competent maid."
"I'm a maid in training, actually," she replied somewhat unsteadily.
"Good enough for this building. Your room is downstairs - immediately below my office."
"So I'm to spend my nights on the floor under you?"
Kuroko snickered.
Rob frowned. "No. I don't appreciate the double entendre. And I really hope that Necessarius isn't expecting you to use Mata Hari's techniques."
"They aren't. And Motoharu would get upset if I did."
Rob relaxed a bit. "Good. Although now I'm wondering whether I should still offer you the job."
"You need somebody to help you," Kuroko pointed out.
"I don't have much choice, then," Rob replied. Turning back to Maika, he continued, "The job does not involve sex. Ever. And we're not asking you to become a double agent. As I already said, I'd rather that Necessarius knows what's going on here than have them guess incorrectly."
Maika thought for a brief moment. "That makes sense. What do you get out of this, besides your housekeeping done?"
"Well, as long as you're asking, are you able to contact Necessarius now? On second thought, don't answer that. When you are able to contact Necessarius, I want you to ask them to help us find two people that I expect they want to find anyway."
"Who would these people be?"
"Index Librorum Prohibitorum and Kamijo Touma."
"Oh." Kuroko groused. "Him."
Rob turned to Kuroko. "You know how she feels about him, even if she isn't willing to admit it to herself."
"Does he return her feelings?"
"Does she return yours?"
"I ..." Kuroko wouldn't continue.
"Then it doesn't matter." Rob turned back to Maika. "I apologize for the digression, Miss Tsuchimikado. If you accept the position here, your duties will involve house cleaning, laundry, memorizing the Wikipedia pages about Academy City and Necessarius - Kuroko will give you the URLs - and whatever Necessarius wants you to do that doesn't put anyone here at risk. Remuneration, at least from us, will begin at $600 per week plus room and board. We will review the contract after three months to determine whether this will become a permanent position."
She thought for a long moment. "I accept."
Rob extended his hand. "Thank you, Maika." They shook on the deal. "And if your brother shows up... well, try not to keep me awake."
5:16 pm ET
"I thought that I was the main chef here. Why hire a maid?"
Rob chose his words carefully. "She isn't here to do the cooking, Mako-chan. She's here primarily to do the laundry and general housekeeping. If you or whoever is on cooking duty needs help in the kitchen, you'll need to ask Maika whether she wants to help. Besides, I thought you wanted to be a pâtissier, not a restaurant chef."
Makoto calmed down. "I still haven't made up my mind whether I want to be a pastry chef or a flower shop owner or both, but I'm leaning toward being a chef." She thought for a moment. "All right, as long as I get to say who does or doesn't touch my kitchen gear, I don't have a problem with her being here."
"I won't hold you to that, Makoto."
She was suspicious again. "Why not?"
"Because she's also a spy for a group that has an uncomfortable relationship with Academy City."
"When did you know that?"
"Since before any of you showed up in this reality."
"And you hired her anyway?"
"Of course. This way, we have some control over what Necessarius learns about us - Necessarius is the group she works for - and we get our cleaning done, too."
Makoto's eyes narrowed. "That's awfully manipulative of you."
"She wants to be a maid. As for manipulative, espionage and counter-espionage is rarely free of manipulation. If Usagi is going to become Neo-Queen Serenity and you're going to become one of her advisors, you'll need to come to terms with that."
"Maybe. I still don't like it."
"Besides, this is nothing compared to how government intelligence agencies act, if the declassified reports and what Artemis has mentioned in passing are anything to go by. She knows that we know who she works for, we know that she knows, and we let her in anyway. If she's at all intelligent, she'll be expecting us to give her a mix of truth and misinformation to send back to her superiors."
"That's true," Maika replied from just inside the kitchen doorway, the door closing behind her. "Who else is going to know who I really am?"
"Everyone who's read the Wikipedia articles that I said you have to memorize. What can we do for you, Ms. Tsuchimikado?" Rob asked.
"Please just call me Maika while I'm working. I'm here to familiarize myself with the kitchen, so that I can keep it clean. I was told Kino-dono was here?"
"I'm Makoto. I'll show you my kitchen now, so please pay attention to what I say I don't want you to touch. ..."
As Makoto started the tour, Rob quickly got out of the girls' way; the kitchen really wasn't big enough for three people. He still had to tell Mikoto and Usagi about Maika, and that conversation was going to take some finesse.
And since when was the common room's kitchen Makoto's property?
7:27 pm ET
"Artie, a moment of your time, if you please."
Rob's expression showed he wasn't likely to take no for an answer. And so it was that Artemis and Rob were alone in Rob's office a moment later.
Artemis sat on Rob's desk and played with the computer mouse. "If this is about the maid you hired this afternoon, I already know that she's a sleeper agent for the group that Index-san belongs to."
"That saves us some time. I've already told her that we won't ask her to become a double agent."
"You're tying my paws here with that kind of promise, Rob. But I agree that she wouldn't make a good double agent. Everything in her source material indicates she's a living prop for her brother's cover story, not an agent in her own right. If I hired her, I'd have to train her."
Rob smiled. "So, no harm, no foul?"
"Not this time," Artemis replied. "But I might want to recruit the next spy that we meet, so please don't make that kind of promise again."
November 25, 2016
10:06 am ET
"Maika, would you ... Maika? MAIKA!"
Rob's shout shocked the newly-hired maid out of her daze, just before she was about to walk into the air at the top of the stairs. "Oh! I ... Thank you, Mr. Donaldson."
"Put that laundry down before you hurt yourself." As she did, Rob continued "The rest of the laundry can wait. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, really."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing that will keep me from doing my work."
"That 'nothing' almost caused you to break your neck. That's a workplace health and safety issue. What's wrong?"
Maika started crying. "I'm... I'm a fictional character!"
"You've been reading your Wikipedia page."
"My Wikia page, actually. Do you know what it's like to have your entire life summed up in one screen of text for everybody to read? You don't! You're not a fictional character!"
Rob winced, then grabbed both of Maika's shoulders. "Snap out of it!"
"I'm not hysterical! I'm angry!"
"Then calm down. Reacting this way won't help you."
"Who are you to say what will and won't help?"
"Your boss."
"Oh." She deflated slightly. "That's right."
"Is it safe to let go of you now?"
"... Yes."
He did so. "Then let's break for coffee, or tea, or something, and we can talk about the nature of reality."
Seven minutes later, they were in the common room, sharing a pot of Earl Grey. They'd almost made a ceremony out of the brewing and serving.
"To answer your question, you're right. I don't know what it's like to be considered to be a fictional character. But I do know what it's like to be famous in certain circles, which is similar; I used to have a reputation in some fan communities."
"What were you a fan of?"
"Let's not go there."
"Japanese cartoons."
"Yes, for their technical merits. Let's not go there."
"Are you still-?"
"No."
"So, you've redefined yourself?"
Not really, Rob thought but didn't say. "You can redefine yourself, too, even if you remain a maid."
"How do we do that?"
"First, we look at what makes up you as you are now, then you throw away some things and build on others. One example: You're not really Tsuchimikado's sister, right?" Maika nodded. "But you feel something for him, right?" She nodded again. "Then, if we find him, we don't treat the two of you as brother and sister."
"What?"
"Wouldn't you rather have a more accurate description of your relationship?"
She thought for a moment. "You're saying I should marry him."
"I was thinking more a common-law relationship, but if that's what the two of you want... Oh, right - you're a practising Christian, aren't you? Never mind the common-law bit. I suppose I was saying that, after all."
"Why?"
"It would bring your relationship out into the open, and make both of you less the fictional characters described on that wiki and more your own people."
"It would, wouldn't it?" She sipped at her tea. "It can't be just my decision, of course."
"Of course. And now that you've read your own Wikia entry, you can stop letting the fandom define you and start thinking about what else to emphasize in your life that isn't listed there."
"That's true. I'll do that, after work tonight." She put her teacup down and picked up one of the sweets that Rob had served with it. "Hey, this isn't a macaroon!"
"Some people are allergic to coconut, and I didn't want to take the risk that you might be one of them. That's a cornflake cluster."
Maika studied it for a moment. "Cornflakes and dark chocolate, and ... what?"
"A hint of orange essence. What do you think?"
She popped in in her mouth and savoured it. "It's ... decadent."
Rob knew from the source material that Maika didn't always show as much respect as a proper maid should, and let her choice of words slide. "Good. Now, let's finish up and get back to work; you can leave the rest of the anger and the decadence for after supper tonight."
- RK: Yes, we know the Funimation subtitles spell her name "Hyoka". The Funimation subtitles also repeatedly misspell "Star of Bethlehem" in A Certain Magical Index III. Don't trust the Funimation subtitles' spelling.
- RK: This is Word of Dante, not Word of God; Aya Hisakawa mentions this part of Ami's personality in an interview published in the October 1992 issue of Animage. Tuxedo Unmasked has a translation.
--
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Forever neighbours, never neighbors
Government of Canada: How to immigrate to Canada
Rob Kelk
Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
Forever neighbours, never neighbors
Government of Canada: How to immigrate to Canada
