Update

[Bob Schroeck]

I have of late been doing some re-engineering of the plot, upon realizing I was trying to stuff too much into the first month of school.   (Neat stuff!  Now!  )  I've also, sadly, had to retire the "first DADA class of the year" scene I wrote oh-so-long ago, because the plot has evolved substantially since then, and it no longer fits, to be honest.  (If you're curious, it's here, but between the Great Blanking lo these many years ago, and the mangling of plaintext posts when Yuku bought ezBoard, it's very hard to read.)  I will no doubt recycle parts of it, but for the moment it resides in my discards file.
Subsequently, when next I update the file progress notes, you will see the size of Chapter 3 drop.  Don't worry, it's for the best.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Pyeknu]

For everyone who can't read the original post because it runs off the screen, here it is:
"Good morning, class," the traveler said once everyone had settled down.  "My name is Colonel Douglas Sangnoir, and I amyour new instructor in the Defense Against The Dark Arts.  Assome of you may already know, I am a native of another universe entirely.  Those of you with so-called 'Muggle' backgrounds willbe familiar with the concept of the 'superhero.'  My world lacks that word, but I have been assured that I am one.  As a result, I possess perspectives and experiences that Headmaster Dumbledore thinks you can make use of."  He paused to survey the class.  "I agree.  For a magically-active Earth, your world is a relatively calm and peaceful one, and as a result, you are..."  He smiled. "Well, if I were instructing a band of new recruits, I'd bellowin your faces that you were soft and weak, drill sergeant-style."
A few members of the class laughed nervously.  Colonel Sangnoir walked around to the front of the table next to the lectern and seated himself on it with a hop.  With another smile he acknowledged the laughter.  "What you are, though, is remarkably privileged.  Most worlds with as much magic as yours face terrible threats -- active demonic infiltration, eldritch creatures the sight of whom can drive men mad, hundred-meter monsters strolling through cities.  My own home world, which is relatively weak in magic, was the target of a massive, concerted invasion of vampires that we only barely fought off."
Not a sound could be heard through the classroom now, and Harry shivered at the thought of an army of vampires slowly taking over the world.  He shuddered at the sudden image of the Dursleys turned into vampires.  Lord Voldemort seemed almost comfortable and friendly in comparison.
Sensing the mood of the class, Colonel Sangnoir nodded gravely.  "It was quite touch-and-go for a while, and my wife was almost turned into a vampire in the process.  But we won, finally.  I don't want to get into it right now, but later in the term I promise I'll tell you something about that campaign."  He hopped off the table again.  "Which probably has you all wondering, what's this guy going to teach us, right?"
A murmur of assent swept through the class, and Harry found himself contributing to it.  A quick glance to either side showed not only Hermione but Ron as well watching the Colonel with wide,interested eyes.  The Colonel stepped around the table, picked up a piece of chalk,and stood at the board.  "What we're going to cover this term are these points -- you might want to note them down, as they're key concepts," he noted, at which two dozen pencils hovered over two dozen notebooks.  "First, the nature of evil.  Second, evil and magic.  Thirdly, strategy and tactics."  He scrawled each topic on the board in an unrestrained hand, underlining each one, then turned back to face them.  "This is *not* going to be a 'recipe class'.  You are not going to learn a list of 'if-thens' here -- 'if confronted by a blue-tailed eyebiter, then throw salt at it.'  You are going to learn about the nature of evil, how it works, how it thinks, why it does what it does.  You are going to learn how to identify it at work even when it's disguised, how to spot its tools and deflect or break them.  When it comes specifically to evil magic, you will not learn just simple countercharms.  You will learn how defend against any evil magic, without knowing what it is.  You will gain reflexes against it, become able to react and defend before you consciously know you've been attacked.  If I can, I will even teach you how to transmute evil magic -- which is a quick way of saying that you'll learn how to steal its magical energy to fuel your own spells while just incidentally killing it in the process."  He leaned forward and raked his eyes over each and every one of them in the class.  "I will be teaching you techniques developed by mages in worlds where every single day is a struggle simply to survive against legions of sorcerous monsters.  I will teach you not only how to defend against evil, but how to hunt it down and destroy it."
The room was absolutely silent.  Then a single voice in the back ranks whispered loudly, "Cor!  All that in one term?"  A wave of laughter crashed over the room, releasing the tension that had grown during the Colonel's monologue.  Even the Colonel himself laughed, Harry noted with some relief.
"I'll try, at least," he said, still chuckling.  "Which means we need to get started right away."  He clapped his hands together,raising a small cloud of chalk dust.  "Right!  Before you can defend against evil, you must be able to identify it.  So.  What is evil?  Define it please..."  He searched through the students, ignoring Hermione's vigorously-waving hand.  "...Mister Malfoy."
Draco Malfoy smirked.  "The opposite of good, sir," he answered,the barest hint of mockery in his voice.
Colonel Sangnoir -- Harry couldn't imagine calling him "Professor" -- apparently heard the barely-there mocking tone, and raised one eyebrow.  "I see we're a sophist, Mister Malfoy.  That was a classic no-answer answer.  While technically correct, it is devoid of meaning and thus unacceptable."  His jovial tone suddenly chilled.  "Smart aleck responses will gain you no favors in this class, Mister Malfoy.  Minus five points to House Slytherin."  The Slytherins in the class fumed, while the other students giggled, murmured and chuckled among themselves.  Behind his glasses, Harry blinked.  He glanced at the Slytherin boy.  Malfoy's usual reserve cracked and a look of pure fury blazed across his face for a moment; then he noticed Harry watching him and recomposed himself, and returned Harry's interest with a baleful, reptilian stare.  Harry snorted and returned his attention to the instructor.
The Colonel's voice had gone back to being friendly.  "You'll find I'm easy to get along with, if you understand this:  I am here to teach you things that will save your lives, the lives of your loved ones, and possibly the lives of untold innocents.  But I have a limited amount of time in which to do so.  I don't mind wrong answers, if they're sincerely offered.  I *do* mind disruptive behavior, sniping at myself or other students, and bad attitudes.  For those of you who can't think of it any other way, consider this:  I could easily tutor five or six promising students instead of teaching an open class.  If an atmosphere develops that makes this class impossible, then I *will* switch to tutoring.  That will mean the students I select will have an advantage -- one literally unavailable elsewhere in this universe -- over those who are denied the tutoring."  His voice went cold again, and Harry realized that his eyes rested solely on Draco Malfoy.  "Do I make myself understood?"
"Yes, sir," the class replied in a chorus of desultory murmurs.
"Good.  Now, where were we?  Right.  The definition of evil.  Does anyone else have any *useful* ideas?"  Hermione's hand was waving so hard that Harry thought it could drive a windmill.  "Miss Granger?"
Hermione stood up.  "Evil is selfishness," she said primly.
Colonel Sangnoir nodded.  "Good.  Very good.  Anyone else?"
"Bullies!"
"Murderers!"
"People who hate!"
The whole class began shouting out all manner of despicablebehaviors, as Colonel Sangnoir nodded.  Harry kept silent, thinking about the evil he come face to face with over the past few years, and tried to figure out if there were a common element to it all.  Next to him, Hermione hmphed in annoyance as the answers offered began to dip into the trivial and silly.
"Objects," Harry suddenly blurted.
"What was that, Mister..."  Colonel Sangnoir consulted the seating chart on the lectern.  "Mister Potter?"
Harry started; he hadn't realized he'd spoken aloud.  He tried to ignore the flush of embarassment he felt climbing up his face.  "Um.  Objects, sir.  All the really evil people I've ever met treated people like... like *things* you could use up and throwout without a care."
A broad smile broke across the Colonel's face.  "Exactly.  One key identifying characteristic of evil is that it sees all other living creatures -- sentient beings or not -- as objects to use, abuse, and discard in order to achieve its goals.  Empathy is alien to it; it has no care for others' feelings, except when it delights in their manipulation.  Most of the other attributes the class was suggesting, especially Miss Granger's suggestion, are *symptoms* of evil.   Very good, Mister Potter.  Five points to..."  He scrabbled for the seating chart again.  "What's your house, Mister Potter?"
"Gryffindor, sir."  Harry couldn't help but smile slightly; Ron and Hermione were less restrained.
"Right.  Five points to Gryffindor."  He scratched a few lines on the seating chart with a handy pencil, then looked back up.  "There is another key attribute of evil.  Any guesses?"
The room grew silent as thirty-five youthful faces scowled inintense concentration.  Harry, without realizing it, was among them.  He dug through his memories of his confrontations with Lord Voldemort in his various guises, from the youthful Tom Riddle to the murderer of his parents whom he could not really remember, and tried to find something in common among all of them.
"Anyone?" the Colonel asked of the quiet classroom.
Harry bit his lip as he thought of a possibility.  Hesitantly, he raised his hand.
"Mr. Potter?"  The Colonel's tone seemed slightly amused, but not mocking.
Harry swallowed.  His answer didn't seem to make sense, but it fit the facts...  "Evil...  it seems to think it's *Good*, sir."
Another brilliant smile broke across the teacher's face and henodded approvingly.  "Very good, Mr. Potter."  He turned his attention on the rest of the class.  "Evil -- *real* Evil -- is convinced it is Good.  It is, in fact, *far* more certain that it is Good than Good is -- and that's how you can often tell the difference.  Good doubts itself -- it's a necessary mechanism that *keeps* it Good.  Evil never doubts itself, its motives or its methods.  It deludes itself, or lets itself be easily deluded by others, that it is always in the right.  It is always convinced that what it does is Good.  Of course, it usually redefines 'Good' to mean 'what *it* wants'."
He sat back down on the edge of the table.  "If you ever have doubts about the rightness of a course you have set yourself on, you are at the very least redeemable.  Only the irredeemably evil are ever *absolutely* sure of their actions."May have got the paragraph divisions wrong, but that's how it read to me BTW.

[DHBirr]

"Only the irredeemably evil are ever *absolutely* sure of their actions."  

Well, and Amelia Peabody Emerson.
I'm sorry.  Amelia is basically a good person, and enlightened far beyond most people of her time.  But sometimes her certainty just gets on my nerves.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[Bob Schroeck]

I'm of the opinion that Amelia's certainty is a result of the editing she did on her journals long after the fact, or obvious BS even at the time.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[DHBirr]

Well, yes, that too, but I was actually talking about the way she decrees her opinions as objective, "revealed truth."  I'm almost sure (I refuse to be certain, even on this!) it's intentional on Elizabeth Peters' part, because it makes it so much fun when she gets taken down a peg.
I had an idea once for a story in which Amelia tries matchmaking some new acquaintances -- and the young woman turns out to be a German spy.  The man confronts Mrs. Emerson with, "I suppose you suspected her from the first."  Amelia is impaled upon Dilemma's horns:  either she says she tried to pair them up because she wrongly suspected him, too, or she admits she was matchmaking because she didn't suspect the charming young lady, or she'll be forced to say that she tried to promote a marriage between an innocent man and an enemy agent.  

I enjoyed the thought of her seeking to wriggle out of the blame while still attempting to preserve her reputation for all-but-infallible "understanding of the human heart."
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[robkelk]

The Colonel

Whenever I see that phrase capitalized that way, I think "fried chicken"... (One can thank/blame Project A-ko for the connection.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Bob Schroeck]

I think Graham Chapman and "Right, this has gotten too silly!"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[robkelk]

Now there's a "we've secretly replaced..." worthy of Crossovers That Should Not Be!
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Norgarth]

Bob Schroeck wrote:

---

I think Graham Chapman and "Right, this has gotten too silly!"

On the topic of certainty, a set of lines from Fern Gully
Batty: "Are you sure?"Shrunken Human: "Positive."B: "Only a fool is positive."SH: "Are you sure?"B: "Positive ... I fell for it!"
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[Jorlem]

I see Doug follows Granny Weatherwax's definition of evil. A very good choice, I think.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.