ROTFL: Can has Cheeseburger?

[Morganite]

The other two nodded as they slowly crept into the room. The intruder seemed too busy in whatever he was doing to notice the three girls, so they easily got the drop on him. With suppressed battle cries, they jumped him and let their fists do all the talking.

The shadow gave muted yelps of pain as he was pummelled until his movement eventually ceased.

“Wendi, get the lights!” Subaru ordered. Wendi obliged and with the lights on, the three studied their quarry.

He was fat, wore a red suit, and had a fluffy white beard.

Subaru, Nove, and Wendi looked at him, then each other, and then him again.

“AHHH! WE KILLED SANTA CLAUS!” Subaru and Nove screamed.

“… You mean he really exists?” Wendi blinked and then she freaked out. “AND WE KILLED HIM!!!”

From How the Nakajimas Saved Christmas.

-Morgan.

[ECSNorway]

Rosario + Ranma: Ranma Tells It Like It Is:

Ranma was still and silent for a moment before he looked down at the shattered wood in his hand and then calmly set them down. "All right shrimp, listen up: I'll admit that it's kind of funny the way you're all over Moka because you don't have any other friends, but you're wasting your time. Moka always eats lunch with Tsukune."

Yukari's eyes narrowed. She had heard rumors that Moka and Tsukune were a couple, but after spending just a few minutes in the boy's presence she had declared such a travesty ridiculous. "Really? And why's that?" she demanded.

"Because Tsukune isn't just Moka's lunch buddy," Ranma said evenly, "he's Moka's actual LUNCH."

TFF Linkity
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[robkelk]

Your "TFF Linkity" requires an account. Is the story anywhere that we mere mortals can access it?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[ECSNorway]

Not that I am aware of. Registration is free, though.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[robkelk]

I'm finally caught up on Shadowjack's BGC thread over on RPG.net. This bit from his writeup of the last episode got me to laugh out loud:

Nene: "Quick! Someone stop the boring machine!"
Shadowjack /ejects the DVD.

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Epsilon]

robkelk wrote:

---

Your "TFF Linkity" requires an account. Is the story anywhere that we mere mortals can access it?

Probably this chapter recently
released on ff.net.

----------------

Epsilon

[OpMegs]

robkelk wrote:

---

I'm finally caught up on Shadowjack's BGC thread over on RPG.net. This bit from his writeup of the last episode got me to laugh out loud:

Nene: "Quick! Someone stop the boring machine!"


Shadowjack /ejects the DVD.

All the funnier given he ended the post on that note and the second half of it started on the next page. :lol:
---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[K sai]

LOL

OK

ok

So everyone knows that P. Lionheart is wacked out. But occasional genius...

Latest Chunnin Exam Day - New BAD bloodlimit...

The Rowling Bloodlimit

Makes everyone that hears that person speak (including the person possessing the bloodline) go logically insane and do exactly the opposite of what they should
rationally do. Appears only in females of the line after marriage.

LMAO

[Necratoid]

Sounded like he ripped off Jango for One Piece to me... I mean its kind of psuedological and all, in its own twisted way, but mostly it sounded like it
generated a niche job for deaf ninja.

[Epsilon]

K sai wrote:

---

The Rowling Bloodlimit




Makes everyone that hears that person speak (including the person possessing the bloodline) go logically insane and do exactly the opposite of what they
should rationally do. Appears only in females of the line after marriage.

Ah, mean-spirited hateful "joking" based purely on personal spite. Thanks for reminding me why I stopped reading Chunin Exam Day.

-----------------

Epsilon

[Bob Schroeck]

Remember, E, he's a Skysaber tribute band. He's contractually obligated to include stuff like that.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Epsilon]

Yes, but I forget such things easily (basically I don't bother to remember authors I hate as much as authors I like) and then Chunin Exam Day or some
similar story shows up in the updates thread and i keep going "why am I not reading that again?" and am tempted to try it out.

---------------

Epsilon

[Bluemage]

Bob Schroeck wrote:

---

Remember, E, he's a Skysaber tribute band. He's contractually obligated to include stuff like that.

http://www.fanfiction.net...29411/71/Chunin_Exam_Day

Look at the note at the end- apparently, PL is female.

I was shocked.

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[Necratoid]

I suppose you are refering to this line:

Anyway, what do I care about that? Chibiusa is back! And I can't tell you how inspiring that is (not to mention the ability to teleport all over the place
gives her a small measure of security).

The 'her' in that, the only mention there in, is refering to the sever as female.

[K sai]

Gendo Ikari singing Karaoke to "Play that funky music, White boy" in latest chapter of NGE:Nobody dies

o-0

I think it ought to be illegal to create mental images like that.

{brain implodes}

[Bob Schroeck]

Aw, you beat me to it, K sai.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bluemage]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Xu1Id0iPc

(If you watch the above, it'll implode again.)

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[Bob Schroeck]

Reminds me a little of a massive gagdub of Evangelion I once saw at a con, that repurposed Gendo as a pimp.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[Bluemage]

That's part of it, actually. Eva Redeath.

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[OpMegs]

This post is brought to you by the subtitle "Rei and Kensuke's Most Excellent Adventure"

Bringing some of the high points from the Ramiel fight.

Silence. Floating in a sea of blue, but he's not sure that blue is water.

"Um…Rei?"

"Mm hm?"

"Rei…where are we?"

A small chuckle/giggle.

"We're inside the Angel."

More silence. Clicking of her tongue as she gathers her thoughts. Looking up, down, around, only blue.

"Oh my God," Kensuke says, "I've been eaten by an Angel!"

More silence. The strangled breathing becomes laughter.

"And it transforms! I've been eaten by a Transformer! I always knew I'd go like this! I can die happy!"

Dazed, angered, the form of the Angel becomes a great diamond once again, a part in its middle for the Core as it concentrates its power. Rising, hovering,
it gathers light upon its base. It is done playing, it is done defending and attacking. Now, it will strike, gathering its entire strength into a single
blast to breach the Egg of Mother and annihilate the Lilim spawn below it-

"Heee-ey."

The Core rotates. Its Gaze comes upon two Lilim standing in the Cavity of its Heart. The Female has her hands behind her and is smiling, rocking on her
feet.

"What'cha doin'?"

The Male walks up next to her, staring upon the Core of Ramiel with open jaw.

"So…that's the Core of the Angel?" he asks.

Rei nods.

"Mm-hm."

"Aaaand we're inside it, right? This is, like, its container, right?"

"Yeeeep," Rei responds.

Kensuke scratches his chin, folds his arms, and smirks.

"And it can't do anything to us, right? From in here?"

"Nope."

The Core, the Mind, the Soul, lets its gaze wander over the two Lilim. It cannot destroy them from here, but they are no threat. In fact, as it scans over
them and dismisses their presence, its gaze wanders to the Female, down to its very cells and…

OH, the Mind of Ramiel says.

"Sooooo, since I kind of dragged you along, you get to decide how I kill it."

Kensuke nods, and leans in, whispering in her ear. Her face goes from puzzled, to surprised, to finally with an ear-to-ear grin before she pulls Kensuke
into a hug.

"I like you!" she shouts, "We're gonna have so much fun together!"

OH, Ramiel repeats.

Rei slams her foot down, forming a ramp from the Material of blue crystal. Trotting back, she cracks her knuckles, rolls her shoulders, and takes off in a
run, running up the ramp and leaping towards the Core as it finds the proper word to pair with its previous thought.

SHIT.

Rei brings her fist back, one hand open and forward. The silence and whine of the AT Field wrapping around Rei's fist is broken by a mighty shout that
lifts up the heavens.

"FAAAALCON-"

*

*

---

There is a flash of light and a quarter of Ramiel's core shatters, ejected from its side like a pissed off volcano. The Angel of Thunder lists,
tipping forward as it drunkenly begins descending, the light vanishing from its bottom point as it begins scrapping along the rooftops of apartment
buildings.

Inside Unit 02, the power meters read green, and with a thought the Red Evangelion picks up the Positron Cannon and aims it as Ramiel descends towards
him.

"Got you," Uri growls, and depresses the trigger.

*

*

---

OO, the half-blasted away Mind of Ramiel slurs, OO. THOUGHT HURT. CONFUSED. MAYBE INEBRIATED. REMEMBER FIST HITTING MIND AND PART
OF MIND NOT BEING THERE.

HEY.

WHAT IS THAT GOING AROUND ME.

IT IS COOL AND BREEZY.

HM.

I WILL CALL IT AIR.

AIR!

AND WHAT IS THAT COMING AT ME?

HM.

IT IS BIG. AND IT IS ROUND.

HM.

I WILL CALL IT GROUND.

GROUND!

AND WHAT IS THAT?

IT IS PRETTY AND IT IS BRIGHT.

I WILL CALL IT LIGHT!

I WONDER IF IT WILL BE MY FRIEND.

And from the replies thread on SpaceBattles.com:

If you can see Rei, she can see you. If you can't see Rei, you may only be seconds away from death.

---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[SkyeFire]

...it just had me ROTFLing too hard not to share.

From the latest episode of "The Secret Saturdays": "Fisk! Dad's back at the airship monitoring cryptid activity, Mom's on a supply
run. For the first time in months, there's no one looking over our shoulders. It would be wrong not to play with
every dangerous experimental weapon we could find!"

Context: Zach Saturday and his (non-human, adopted) brothers have what amounts to Doc Savage for a father and the love child of Kenshin Himura and Lara Croft
for a mother. Their family does a lot of "secret masters of the world" work preserving *really* exotic species from extinction and exploitation (and
from being to exposed to public knowledge). Zach's not a bad hero-in-training for a Very Bright 12yo kid, although he manages to bounce believably from
mature-for-his-years genius to normal-preteen without straining WSOD in either direction. They've been having a VERY rough Season Two so far, and the boys
are letting off some steam....

[ECSNorway]

A little bit from 'An Entry with a Bang':

“Okay, this ain’t a problem,” Williams said aloud, trying to convince himself. “I just have to zig zag and it can’t hit me, right? Right?”

The wreck seemed unimpressed, but said nothing.

“Okay, one, two, THREE!”

Williams ran for all that he was worth, dodging laser beams for all that he was worth. He was pretty fit, exercised regularly, especially on the trip out from Earth. But he was also weighted down with gear that hadn’t felt so heavy when he started out. And it didn’t help that the laser seemed to hit closer and closer with every shot. But he was almost there to the entrance. Fifty meters. Fourty. Thirty. Twenty…

At about ten meters, Williams tripped over an unseen pothole and went sprawling practically right in front of the laser turret. Looking up, he froze as he saw the energy weapon zero right in on his position. His life practically flashed right before his eyes.

”Bzzzt! I’m sorry,” the laser turret suddenly said with a voice that sounded a lot like the late Majel Barrett Roddenberry. ”But your ten thousand shot demonstration of the GM Sentinel 2800 has expired. To fully activate this system, please contact your nearest General Motors sales representative and purchase an authorized activation code.”

“Son of a bitch,” Williams muttered as he got up and dusted himself off. He made a mental note to write an apology to certain software distributors back on Earth. Suddenly, certain business practices didn’t look as bad as they used to.

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[OpMegs]

New chapter of Nobody Dies, which was nearly entirely comedic, but this sequence was too well set up to be ignored.

The wind up....

"This was Dr. Ikari's idea," Maya responds, hands up defensively, "She approves of all of this. Since she was the original Contact
pilot for Unit 01 before they cancelled the human testing, she also decided to make NERV more public. During the earlier years, when constructions of the
Evangelions were at an earlier phase, she would hold press conferences in a plug suit prototype and basically sold the idea of NERV. When I came aboard, one
of the duties I took over as the Evas were finished was this department."

"Still doesn't explain the plug bunny suit," Misato deadpans, shifting the weight of the Gaghiel pillow and finding it squeaking.

"Product testing."

Maya shifts again, grunting and pulling at something behind her with a wince.

"The plug suit material is lightweight, very durable, fireproof and water proof," she explains, "When stripped of the electronics it's
actually a very useful material. We've been developing it for firefighters, rescue workers, race car drivers and fetish models."

She wiggles again, muttering something under her breath.

"Problem is, it's tight," she says, "And really hugs. It's like I'm wearing nothing at all."

Ritsuko looks at the ceiling as Misato folds her arms and raises an eyebrow.

"Back up," she says, "Fetish?"

Maya mumbles something about catering to an all age demographic before Misato walks past her and walks to the craft at the furthest conveyor belt. Maya
runs after her, walking with elongated strides as Ritsuko tries to avoid staring directly as her assistant's spandex clad ass.

Katsuragi reaches into the crate, rummages, and takes out a six inch long replica of Unit 01's entry plug. She twists the control at one end, and the
plug begins to vibrate. Switching it off, she stares at Maya as the young woman goes beat red.

"You are so repressed."

And the pitch!

Misato took things into her own hands, packed up the adult novelties into the largest crate she could find and had them launch it via Eva catapult into the
Pacific. Maya looked heartbroken but carried on, and Ritsuko stares at her computer and sighs.

"It's like I'm wearing nothing at all."

A grimace, image of her assistant's nicely toned posterior in blue spandex passing her vision.

"Nothing At All."

Shaking a bit as she walks.

"NOTHING AT ALL."

She sighs. Rubbing the bridge of her nose and slumping back into her chair, she rests her folded hands on her lap and shrugs.

"Stupid sexy Maya," she says, "Well, alright. I guess I'm a lesbian."

A bump against a wall and Ritsuko turns, just as Maya quickly gathers up her folders and runs back into the hallway. Akagi could swear she heard the girl
squeal.

---
"Oh, silver blade, forged in the depths of the beyond. Heed my summons and purge those who stand in my way. Lay
waste."

[Sweno]

I like the Rie/Batman bits, and I wonder if the cat was more than just a cat.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[K sai]

And so I can write a scene in which Adria fights a fire demon while wielding two battle axes that are named Havoc and Malice.




And in the end, we need more stories in which that happens.

From the Author Note of someone starting a SG1/Legacy of Kain Crossover on SB

Written in Blood

I don't know if the story is any good, (which why its not in a rec thread) but the A/N is pure ROFTLWIN and I had to put it here