Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
[draft] DSKSWDYHMS? - Chapter 2
[draft] DSKSWDYHMS? - Chapter 2
#1
I've been deliberating on whether or not to post this yet, as it STILL needs a lot of polish. (More like heavy grinding, if you ask me.) But, I figure
that's why I do post this stuff here. Please be gentle, as usual.


Dear Sweet Kami-sama, Why Do You Hate Me So?

By Benjamin Rhodes

Book 1 - May You Live In Interesting Times

Chapter 2 - Ninety Percent of Everything is Crap

Calm.

Calm is what I needed.

Calm is what I desired to become.

Not simply calm as a state.

I wanted to be something serene.

The Mojave Desert at night.

A gentle New England snowfall.

The soft rain in the Puget Sound.

An uninhabited portion of the Texas Gulf Coast.

But with the noise in the next room, I'd settle for the eye of a Category 5 hurricane.

It brought with it the uncomfortable events from earlier in the day...

***

"Darkwood-san!" yelled Rei as she charged to me. Remarkable how she could run in those red pumps she was wearing! "What are you doing
here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I replied wryly. "If none of your friends can help me out here, then at least point me at the nearest
faucet."

"Shimata! Ami! Get over here and cool off his hands!"

"Rei, who is this guy?" demanded the Amazonian brunet with a green skirt and ribbons.

"And how does he know who you are?" inquired a blond clad in orange and white.

"He's..." Rei faltered. "He's a friend of my family."

"You recognized her despite our disguises," said the one that personified the color blue. "But how?" She motioned her hands over mine and
immediately a cool sensation swept through them, pushing away the burning sensation. I could tell that they were still tender, but at least the flesh would
stop cooking in its own heat.

"Arigatou," I said gratefully. "Once you have built up a strong and sharp mind with good mental
defenses, then disguises, glamours, and things like that are nothing unless they are built to be overwhelmingly powerful. Yours just alters your appearance so
you seem older and more... glamorous."

I stood up and looked around.

The place was a disaster site. Set pieces lay in ruins. Stage lights were knocked all over. And everyone had disappeared. Earlier they seemed to be going
nuts trying to get everything on camera... that is until... oh.

"I guess the scary American with an ax frightened off the camera crews," I remarked dryly.

"We'd better change back before the police get here," said the girl named Ami.

"Hide in the makeup room," I said suddenly. Everyone looked at me and the first of the super-girls was just joining everyone else. "You got
scared when I came out, panicked, and hid in there. It's plausible."

Rei grumbled in disgust. "Whatever. Let's just get this over with."

***

The police arrived and it was questions on this, that, and the other thing. Paramedics treated my burns while I was questioned, making my hands clumsy and all
but useless with the thick gauze covering. I played at being just as confused as everyone else about the bull-girl, though that didn't take much effort on
my part. I was confused alright, but I had a feeling I'd be getting my answers later.

I explained my actions with the ax as an act of courage under fire - with the insanity going on, I thought I had noticed a piece of electrical equipment
shorting out. Not wishing to waste time trying to explain the situation to one of the staffers in my not-so-fluent Nihongo in the middle of that situation, I
took matters into my own hands. I was literally scolded for being too brash - just because I saved one man from a train doesn't give me license to play
hero in their country - and was told the burns on my hands are my karmic punishment.

I apologized, kowtowing and all, to the station staff and everyone was satisfied with that. Brownie points for humility. However, they decided against the
interview.

Feeling faintly snubbed, I left the station only to be intercepted by five curious Japanese school girls and their pet cats. Only I got the sneaking suspicion
the cats weren't really pets, and the crescent-shaped bald spots on their foreheads wasn't the first clue.

"Darkwood-san," said the black cat in a cultured feminine voice. "It would be appreciated if you came with us. There are many things that need
to be discussed and we prefer to do it out of sight of the public."

I blinked at that. Now it was talking cats.

"Oh what the hell," I said in English. "Lay on, Macduff, lay
on."

Everyone blinked at that and the blonde-haired beauty that had been dressed in orange before blinked and said, "Oh! He means that he'll follow
us." She then frowned at me. "Though he was being a bit sarcastic."

"It's only two in the afternoon and it's already been a long day," I said flatly. "Play nice and I'll make it funny
sarcasm."

"You said you know this guy, Rei?" asked the beauty.

Rei growled and about-faced. "Urusai."

The girls then looked at me. I just shrugged and said, "I have no idea, though it might just be my charming personality."

There was a series of snorts and titters, and we carried on.

***

We went to Rei's shrine - funny since I didn't think I'd be seeing this place again. Once more, Rei's Ravens (Jungle Crows, actually, I came
to realize) perched on a window sil and watched me like proverbial hawks. I was vaugely creeped out.

It seemed, though, that I wasn't the only one.

"Why are they watching him like that?" asked the Odango Head. "It's seriously creepy."

"They don't trust him," said Rei, casting me an evil look.

At that, one of them cawed loudly at Rei, almost as though it was snapping at her. There was a brief moment of unsettled silence.

"Actually," I said, "I think they're just sizing me up."

"But what for?" wondered Ami.

"To see if I'm good enough for Rei."

Another caw, but this time it was much quieter and it's tone suggested approval.

"Okay," said the Beauty, "If this wasn't creeping me out before, then consider me thoroughly freaked. Rei, can you do something about
them?"

Rei sighed at that and got up. "Fine. Okay, you two, that's enough. Out!" The two Jungle Crows looked at Rei reproachfully, but turned and
flew out of the room. With the two birds gone, everyone was able to get settle in.

"Okay, now that the wa has been restored," I said, then paused sensing a vague killing intent rolling off of
Rei. The others took notice as well and the ones next to her - the Beauty and the Amazonian - scooted away nervously. "Marginally," I then
qualified as I gave Rei a sideways look, "how about we introduce ourselves?"

"Absolutely not!" snapped a cultured feminine voice. The now familiar black cat with crimson eyes jumped onto the table, looking daggers at
me.

"Ah," I said pleasantly, as though talking cats were a regular occurrence in my life. "Hello again, Neko-san."

"You shall address me as Lady Luna, young knave," sniffed the regal feline.

"As milady wishes," I answered with a half-bow.

"Somebody's laying it on thick," murmured the Beauty, who punctuated that statement with a startled yelp as the white cat nonchalantly laid a paw
full of claws into her thigh.

"At least someone here knows how to show proper respect," said Luna. "Now, before we discuss anything else, young knave, we shall have
knowledge of who you are, where you came from, and some background on your family history."

I felt my eyebrows jump up my forehead. "Wow. Not real good on the whole trust thing, are you?"

"No, not particularly," said Luna.

"It doesn't help that we've had more than one breach in security, so to speak," said the white one, seated next to the now-fuming
Beauty.

I sighed stretch my arms in front of me, interlocking and flexing my fingers as I did so. "Okay then. You guys want a history lesson, you got it.

"The most prominent figure in my family is Agatha Rachel Steam from my father's side, of the infamous Steam family that revolutionized mechanized
locomotion in the mid-eighteen-hundreds. It was Agatha that made the first steam-powered mecha that became the predecessor of the Khobu."

"Wait a minute," said Ami. "You mean that you are a direct descendant of The Agatha Rachel Steam? The Mother of All Mecha!? THAT Agatha
Steam!?"

Rei took note of that and gave me a significant look. "Well, I guess that explains your engineering fetish."

I shrugged at that. "Pretty much. When she married into the Darkwood family they allowed her to retain her family name out of respect for the Steams.
However, all the children bore the Darkwood name. One of Agatha's grandchildren is my Grandfather, Conrad Shanus Darkwood."

"So why wasn't he some great inventor?" pondered the white cat.

"Darkwood genetics at work," I explained. "We usually tend to be fighters, not builders. Supposedly we're descended from one of the great
families of the Knight Templars. I'm the first Builder-type Darkwood since Agatha Steam married into the family."

"But that's not all that you are, are you?" asked Luna.

"Not at all," I confirmed. "What seems to have worn down that fighting-blood in me enough for other aspects to show up is the influence from my
mother's side - a direct line into a lineage of Native American shamen and medicine men, and all the mythology and mystery behind it. That lineage is
harder to trace since they didn't really keep official records up until about four generations ago, but rest assured that it's just as impressive as my
Father's side."

"So what exactly are you then?" said the Amazonian.

I shrugged. "Mage, engineer, warrior? Maybe all three? Maybe just one, but definitely not none. I can't say
just yet. I'm still developing. I know that I am unique in both sides of my families, and that is part of why my Grandpa Bear, my Mother's Father,
said that I must find my own path, even if I have to blaze one of my own."

"Soka," said Luna quietly. She then looked at me in the eyes, and asked, "What do you intend to do
with the knowledge you have now, young knave?"

I sighed heavily. It was a pretty damn good question and I took a moment to think about it. Fortunately, Luna
understood and shushed anyone that tried to interrupt.

"For now, nothing," I said at last. "For now I can be an outside confidant for you and the girls to talk to. I won't divulge your secrets
to anyone, save for family members once the situation gets to the point where they have a right to know what's going on."

"And exactly what conditions might those be?" asked Luna, her tone calm and polite, but carrying a certain edge to it that promised death if my
answer was not satisfactory.

"Maiming, disfigurement," I said casually, then shot Luna a deadly serious look and added, "death."

You could have heard a pin drop in there. Screw that, you could have heard Sands of Time shifting in there - not even
the birds and the insects outside were making any noise. Even the sounds of of the city in the distance was somehow muted. I looked to all the girls and all
of them wore vaguely horrified expressions.

Well son of a sprocket wrench.

I guess no one had really discussed the greatest reality of life with these girls; the very real fact that they could die in the line of whatever duty they
were serving. Pessimistic? No, pragmatic. I could tell that they still had much to learn. No, more than that. They needed to grow up, some more than
others.

I know it's ridiculous for a sixteen year old boy to think like that when he's hardly even an adult himself, but I've known nine-year-old girls
that are much more mature than these girls. Yes, it was an extraordinary circumstance and it was pretty terrible that she didn't really get to have a
normal childhood, but that aside she was a well adjusted individual.

She just wished that the rest of her would catch up.

It's sad to see someone forced grow up before they're legally adults, but oftentimes there is nothing that can be done to help, except to pray for the
best and prepare for the worst. And here I was, with personal experience of having to grow up like that. Watching your Mother die will do that to you.

Dear sweet Kami-sama, why do you hate me so?

"Please excuse us for a while, Darkwood-san," said Luna, sounding much more sober than prim. "We need to discuss some things without your
presence."

***

And then there I was, trying in vain to find my center while a storm of debate took place in the next room over.

At last, though, quiet came and I began to settle deeper into my meditative trance. It didn't last, however. I sensed someone approaching me and a danger
signal screamed through my mind. I opened my eyes just in time to catch an arm, the hand attached to it holding a slip of paper with some sort of Japanese
spell written on it.

Unacceptable.

In one well practiced movement, I set one foot beyond her center of gravity, gave her a push to throw her off-balance, then shoved her down to the tatami mats.
Without breaking my stride and while maintaining positive control of her arm, I shifted my grip so I was holding her hand, bending it against her wrist at a
painful angle and, by placing my other hand on her upper arm, held her in place as I braced one knee into the crook of her shoulder and slipped my other knee
under her elbow joint.

All in all, it was a basic pin that I had learned from a 5th-Dan Aikido Master and an extremely uncomfortable position for Hino Rei to find herself in.

And to just think, I did it with my hands bandaged. Sure, it hurt, but I sure as hell wasn't letting a little pain
stop me.

I heard the others rush into the room.

"Stop!" I snarled over my shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid. From this position I can break her arm in any spot I choose. Now... one
of you may come around to face me and we will talk. Wakaru?"

To her credit, Rei remained quiet, but I bet that wasn't stopping her from trying to give me a filthy look.

It was Luna that came forward.

"Are you okay, Rei?" said the cat, eying the miko with deeply concerned crimson eyes.

"It hurts, but not bad," Rei grumped from the tatami mats. "This is so humiliating. Next time, some one else gets to try and tag
him!"

"Okay, enough chit-chat," I groused. "I want to know exactly what you girls were trying to do to me."

The cat sighed and said, "Shikata nai. I apologize, Darkwood-san, but after much debate, the rest of the Senshi,
Artemis and myself felt it would be best to erase your memories of Rei and the rest of the Senshi."

"Oh-ho!" I said. "You really thought you could get out of it that easily, Hino-san?"

"It would have worked if your awareness wasn't so keen!" growled Rei angrily.

The cat look completely surprised. "Get out of what?"

I looked at the cat. "Didn't she mention it? My Grandfather knows her's and her Grandfather wants her to teach me about being a priest. She has
something against me for some reason, she won't say, so this would have been a good way to weasel out of it."

I heard several thuds behind me and the cat bobbed as though struck on the head. "Ah... yes, I see."

"When I get out of this your are so dead!" snapped Rei.

"Take me on anytime, firebird," I replied sarcastically. "Back on topic. Totally unacceptable behavior. I already said that I would keep your
secret. Why do you feel that you need to hedge your bets?"

"Because, Darkwood-san, we don't trust you. You smack too much of darkness."

I blinked. "Is that so? That is what this is about? You think that I'm some sort of agent of darkness? Haven't you ever heard of
balance?"

"I don't see how that matters," said Luna.

"Balance always matters. It is what my sun sign is all about. Something that you seem so ready to throw out the window just to have your nice little
utopian world. I got news for you: if you don't accept the darker aspects of life, it tends to come around and bite you in the ass."

"You have no right to say that!"

"I have every right to say that," I snapped back. "When I was four years old, my mother died in an automobile accident caused by a drunk
driver. My world fell apart on that day and I learned the bitter taste of death. But then my grandfather taught me of Raven and I learned once more about the
almost unbearable sweetness of life and how good it is. I miss my mother horribly, but my memories of her are among my most treasured. Don't even think
to say that I have no right to speak of life and death and how both are essential for balance."

I then looked down at Rei. "I am going to let you up now, Hino-san, but don't do anything stupid. If you do I am upset enough that I may just hurt
you enough to put you in the hospital."

"My friends will protect me," she growled.

"You and your friends, from what I have heard, have trouble with monsters on a fairly regular basis. Monsters like the one I killed in less than thirty
seconds without any magical powers. You sure you want to take me on?"

"Oh wow, he's so cool!" I heard Beauty murmur behind me.

"Hmph! Not as cool as my Mamorou-chan," sniped Odango Head

"Shut up you two!" hissed the Amazon. "This is serious!"

A moment passed in silence - Rei didn't even twitch.

"Are you ready now?" I asked her.

"... Hai."

"Very well." I then let go of her arms and rolled neatly away from her, bouncing up to my feet, ready for a scuffle if it came to it.

I stood up and started to rub the feeling back into my arm. I looked to Zeke and he had already put
some distance between us. What's more was that he was ready to fight if he had to.

I had to reevaluate my opinion of the boy named Ezekiel Darkwood.

It was as he said - he is not overconfident. He simply is confident in his capabilities and knowledgeable of his limits. I didn't doubt that we would be
able to deal with him as a team if things got out of hand. But not before he severely hurt one of us.

Severely enough to be permanent.

I could tell that he knew it, too; that he may very well perish in fighting us. However, there was a certain pride there. He would rather die than have
someone go through his memories and rewrite them to suit their needs. And he would make sure that we paid for not only the attempt on his mind, but for
killing him in the process.

The Darkwood Blood he spoke of before breeds true here. He is indomnitable - prepared to fight to the last bitter breath if needed.

What in the names of all the Gods happened to him?

He said that he was a Libra and it was the truth. He had rage in him, but it was tempered. His wind element contained and amplified the lesser, secondary
fire element that lurked within him, eager to burn everything in its path.

Even more, there was a third element in there. It was actually a sub-element, one that could only come from the unique combination of wind and fire - steel.
Flexible and malleable, yet tough and unbreakable, it gave a hard and uncompromising definition to the normally formless mutable elements.

Through his own actions and the actions of others, he had forged himself into a hard person. His heart still capable of beating, still capable of great
emotion, but his heart had become hardened by the realities of the world. He was not one to be easily swayed by the common girl.

Was this the man that I am meant for?

No. He would still resent me, because no matter how hard I try I would find myself trying to change him. He already resents me for what I nearly did to
him.

And so I remind myself: I need no man in my life as a Senshi.

"Kowai," said the Odango headed girl.

"Hai," I replied. "I can be very scary if I want to. But I can also be a good friend. The choice is
up to you, but I highly recommend you decide to have me as a friend."

I looked at them all in turn and they all bore confused expressions. However, in Rei's eyes was something more than confusion. I wasn't sure what it
was, but I knew without a doubt that it had everything to do with me.

Perhaps it was time to start again from scratch.

I bowed formally to the group. "Hello. I am Darkwood, but you can call me Ezekiel or Zeke. I hope that we can all become good friends."

Suddenly my phone rang.

"Nani?" I muttered off-handly as I pulled the device out of my pocket.

I felt the blood drain out of my face and my left eye twitch when I saw the Caller ID.

*** USN DDG-54 ***


"Ohhhh shit," I said emphatically.

"Who is it?" I heard one of the senshi ask.

"... My Dad," I answered slowly as I pushed the call accept button.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, BOY!?" came the voice clearly from the phone's speaker. I didn't
have it set to speaker phone mode, but I might as well have. To make things worse, all the girls in front of me fell flat on their faces in shock.

"uh, hi dad." I said weakly into the phone.

"That shit with the old man was one thing. I was even proud of you. But the business at the TV station WAS COMPLETELY
OUT OF LINE, RECRUIT!"

I discreetly put my hand over the receiver and whispered to Luna, "There isn't any chance I can get you to let my Dad in on this, is
there?"

Luna shook her head.

"Didn't think so."

"You're lucky I just can't have us pull in whenever we damn well please, Son, but rest assured that when we get
back to Yoko, YOUR ASS IS MINE!"

*Click!*

I couldn't do anything other than look at my phone for a long, long moment until I slumped to the floor.

"Dear sweet Raven-sama... Why do you hate me so?"

The only other thing said after that came from the Odango-headed girl.

"Okay, I take it back. His Father is scary."

***

One Week Later...

I could sense Rei nearby. She was like a brilliant scarlet jet of flame molded into the form of a breathtakingly
beautiful woman.

I studiously ignored her.

Instead, I focused on the pyre of flame that was before me. It was my first fire reading - my first time I would look through the holy fire to see what lays
before me.

Rei had insisted, of course. Once she knew without a doubt that I had a fire affinity that was secondary to my air element, she insisted that I learn to read
the flames. Not that I would argue. For one thing I needed the training and for another I loved fire.

Yes. I am a pyromaniac. I love fire in all its forms from the flickering candle flame to the billowing blaze of an explosion. Get over it.

Slowly, the images began to resolve themselves in the flame. They were rough and sketchy, but that was because the future was always a rough and sketchy
thing. The actions of the present, of each passing second, have an impact on the future's outcome.

It is not something to be trifled with.

It spoke volumes of what Rei thought of me to teach me Fire Reading. Training constantly under her guidance for the last week had corrected her opinion of me,
whatever it really was. I wasn't buying into the whole chauvinistic male pig story, but she hadn't really told me about her past either. Whatever it
was that was eating at her remained a mystery, but at least she wasn't letting it control her now.

"What do you see?" the fire maiden asked.

I kept my gaze fixed onto the flames. "I see my father looming over me as he forces me to perform intensive training."

"Nani?" said Rei. "Nan desu ka?"

"Basicly, you have to do physical training until either your muscles seize or your trainer is staisfied."

The firey form of Rei blinked in surprise. "Hidoi!"

"Glad you agree," I said. "That's about all I can see. Looks like I can't really see too far, just a week or so. I think I'm
better with prophetic dreams and my rune stones. But I must admit, I'm getting a pretty clear vision here. By the way, you look like a beautiful
fire-kami whenever I do this."

Rei's face betrayed her loss of composure - it probably had the same hue of a tomato. "Ah, thanks," she said, flustered. She then composed
herself and went on, "That's your fire element at work. You may let it go, by the way."

I sighed as I relaxed my hands from the seal I was holding and began to rub the feeling back into my fingers. My vision of Rei returned to her normal self -
that of a beautiful Japanese girl in Miko robes.

"It seems that your fire element is, for the most part, combat oriented," continued Rei. "While it is a secondary element, and a
purpose-oriented one at that, you have an uncanny ability to use your overruling wind-element to contain, channel, and focus your fire element into something
truly formidable. Once you learn how to channel your element into a physical manifestation, then you should have attacks that rival my own as Sailor
Mars."

"And that is where I am having the most trouble," I stated, something we had both realized early on when she had tested my abilities.

"I have an idea about that, though," said Rei as she approached me. "Hold still, please." Suddenly, she planted one of her spell tags on
my forehead. She had gotten quicker all the sudden. I wondered if it had anything to do with Luna restoring her memories of being Sailor Mars.

"This isn't my paralyzing spell. Instead, it is a flame talisman. I want you to hold out your dominant hand, palm up, and focus on the fire you have
withing yourself. Think of compressing it into a tiny ball."

I nodded and closed my eye, seeking out something like a meditative trance so I may find the fire that burned inside me. With practiced ease, I found it - it
was like a bonfire within a tornado, surrounded by a protective wall of solid steel. It was such a magnificent sight to behold.

I applied my will to it then, forcing the towering inferno into a ball at the middle of the tornado. Soon, it was all gathered there, illuminating the tornado
spectacularly from within.

And right about there, I heard someone scream and my hand got very hot.

"AMI! DOUSE HIM QUICK!"

The shocking cold of one of Ami's water attacks, allbeit a powered down version, ran through me and brought me back to reality. Drenched and shivering
already, I looked a question at Rei.

"It was too effective," she said. "You gathered the fire, but there was so much that your bandages caught on fire. We're going to have to
work on your control."

I looked and indeed the bandages on my right hand were charred. They weren't as heavy as the ones I wore on the first day, so I could use my hands more
effectivly. If Ami hadn't put the fire out so quickly, I would have burned my hand again, and worse than before as well.

"Arigatou, Mizuno-san," I said, giving Ami a slight bow. Ami bowed in return, smiling amuzedly. I turned to Rei and said, "It's obvious
that my control is crap right now, and Ami can't always be here to put me out. Next time I could wind up like the Human Torch."

I listened to his complaint and I glared at him.

"Well, it's not like we can build some machine to magically help you conjure flames properly, can we mister engineer?"

A queer look suddenly crossed Zeke's face and he lapsed into silence. His eyes went unfocused and somewhere I could almost hear gears and wheels turning
very, very quickly.

"YATAAAAAAHHHH!" he suddenly exploded, making Ami and me start horribly. Suddenly he was before me, taking my left hand into both of his own.
"Thank you, oh great Mistress of Flames," he said before kissing my hand passionately. And then he was gone. We didn't see him go, he just
blured and was gone.

"Rei?" said Ami. "Are you okay?"

"Did he just kiss me?" I asked, feeling my face get hot. Ami only hid her face behind her hands and giggled.

***

We went looking for him afterwards, curious to know what was going on. Fortunately, we found him at his apartment on
the first try. The door was left wide open.

"Zeke? Are you home?" I called out. There was no answer, but I could hear someone inside rummaging around. Was there a thief? "Ami,
transform into Sailor Mercury, just in case."

"Hai," said Ami, understanding what I was thinking and just like that she was Sailor Mercury. I had
transformed as well, and together we went inside.

We moved slowly and carefully, pausing at every sound. Finally Zeke popped around a corner all the sudden, scaring both Ami and me into startled shouts. That
startled Zeke as well and he shouted and dropped the books he was carrying.

"Nandaiyo!?" he said emphatically. "Try the doorbell next time!"

"Well we yelled for you but you didn't answer! We thought you were a burglar."

"Ah. That explains the mini-skirts then."

Ami and I both went red. "THEY AREN'T MINI-SKIRTS, THEY'RE FUKU!"

Zeke waved it off, though. "Later! This is important! I'm on to something!"

I blinked at that. Zeke never brushed me aside like that. In fact, he had a strange ability to hang off my every word without actually looking like he was.
It took me the entire week we'd been together to figure it out, but he actually does it. Somehow I found it flattering - after all, not many men in Japan
really consider what a woman has to say to be all that important unless it's something immediate.

"What's going on?" asked Ami.

Zeke had picked up his books and had begun to arrange them on his drawing board, opening them all to specific pages and keeping them out of his effective work
space.

"I think I can do it," he said. "I think I can actually build a device to help me channel fire! And it's all thanks to you, Hino-san!
Arigatou!"

I felt my jaw go slack. I actually caused this weirdness? I sparked his engineering side? Dear sweet Kami-sama, help me! I'm a muse to a
geek!

***

It happened again.

For an entire week I did not leave the house. Nothing could budge me, not even a meteor impact.

When I am caught in one of these spurts of creativity I forget to even eat half the time. They come rarely though, but the results are usually impressive. My
designs for Project Kaneda and Project Nausica are examples of this phenomenon.

What caused it this time?

An insight, thanks to Hino-san, had given me the inspiration I needed to create a tool to assist me. Because ever since I could remember, magic has never
flowed properly within me. It was always so unruly and uncontrolled. The only way I could even harness it was through deep meditation, and for that reason
the usefulness was limited.

But Rei's use of a talisman and suggestion of building a machine... That was pure genius!

Although, what I had cobbled together over the past week didn't look like much, it was a solid prototype for a device that would hopefully let me
effectively conjure mage-fire.

It started out with a simple fire-retardant glove - the sort that reaches up to the elbow. I covered that in a sheath of steel chain mail made with fine,
quarter-inch diameter links. That was the part that took the longest, but it was a necessary evil. The iron content in steel channeled the magical energies
very effectively and the steel itself was tempered. Woven into the links were special links onto which I had painstakingly carved flame talismans and
protections (and wasn't that a pain in the ass on those tiny links). Thus, it essentially looked like a chainmail gauntlet.

Like I said, it didn't look like much.

It was only on closer inspection that you saw the truly interesting parts. Quite incidentally, the protections and talismans that I had arranged so as to
focus and channel the mage-fire resembled circuit board patterns.

Once more, I examined the finished product. Despite it being so simple and basic, I could not help but appreciate what I had created. It then occured to me
that I had to test it, but I immediately realized that to do that here would be stupidly risky. For a moment I thought about it - I tried to think of a place
where it'd be okay to set something on fire. That's kind of hard to do in Japan - they are all but paranoid about fire safety here. You should see
the fines they give people for causing preventable fires!

It took me a few minutes, but eventually I came to the conclusion that the Hikawa Shrine was the only place I might be able to test my new toy.

It was with a certain reluctance that I dialed Rei's number. She had given it to me just so that we could plan our training sessions in advance, but when
she gave it to me her cheeks had been bright red anyways. Curiouser and curiouser, that.

Anyhow, I was reluctant because I hadn't spoken to Rei once that whole week. I just hoped that she would be willing to talk to me now.

"It took you long enough!" came her voice sharply over the phone. "What happened to you?"

"Sorry about that," I said sheepishly. "That idea you gave me kept me going on this project this whole time. It happens now and
then."

"Oh, you finally finished?"

"There's one thing I need to do still. I have to test it."

"So why are you calling me then?"

"Because I need something I can burn."

***

An hour later, I was at the fire pit inside the Hikawa Shrine. The sun was setting, casting everything into a deep
golden hue. Ami was there in her senshi form - we had learned long ago that she was the only one effectively able to put out any fire that I had tampered
with.

Rei, meanwhile, was looking at my gauntlet with interest while Ami scanned it with her Senshi Computer.

"So, this is what you made?" she asked with a distracted air as she tried on the gauntlet, flexing the huge fingers.

"Yes. I know it doesn't look like much, but it's just a test-type - a proof of concept, if you will. If this works I'll start experimenting
to refine it into something more useful."

At that, Rei cast a sideways look at me. "And what would you define as useful?"

I sighed. It was inevitable, and I really hate lying to people.

"A weapon."

"To use against who?"

"Our enemies."

"Are you serious? Why are they your enemies too?"

"Well they obviously don't have any good intentions towards mankind now do they?"

"Be that as it may, I don't want you getting involved in any more of our battles."

"Be that as it may, milady, what if one of your battles happens to involve me? I am not the type to just be some
random bystander. If I have the option I am going to fight. You've seen me do it once before and I will do it again."

Rei glared at me and Ami, who had decided to remain apart from the discussion, looked on with wide eyes.

"Soka," said Rei. "Test your weapon, Zeke, but don't you dare go looking for trouble."

"I needn't go looking for it," I said as I walked up to Rei and gently took my gauntlet from her. "Trouble finds me. Then I kick its
ass."

"Idiotic male bravery," said Rei, deadpan.

I shrugged. "I can't help what's in my blood. Mizuno-san, are you ready?"

"Hai," said the blue-clad Senshi.

"Okay, let's get this started," I said as I slipped on the gauntlet. As I did before, I reached within myself and grabbed ahold of my
metaphysical blast furnace and focused it into a ball.

I heard Ami and Rei both gasp.

I open my eyes and I see that my gauntlet has become engulfed in flames and the special links that I had worked so hard on blazed like molten gold from within.
And for the icing on the cake, a perfect fireball within my metaphysical grasp.

"Whoa," I said, channeling Keanu Reaves. I then grinned evilly and threw the thing into the pile if wood we had prepared just for this
occasion.

Thing is that I never really took into account just how much punch my attack had. The pile of wood caught fire - instantaneously even - but it also exploded,
sending flaming wood fragments all over the place.

Ami and Rei both yelped in surprise and shielded themselves. I cursed and did the same. Once the worst of it passed, I heard Ami call out her basic attack,
filling the area with cold mist.

I opened my eyes and looked around. Burned out cinders lay scattered everywhere, leaving scorch marks wherever they landed.

"EH-ZEE-KEH-RU!" snarled a familiar voice. I turned and saw Ami, an expression of shock on her face as she
covered her mouth with her hands, and Rei absoulutely enraged.

"Ano, I can fix this," I said sheepishly.

***

Warning: I wrote in my Book of Shadows later that night. Further testing of future mage tools and equipment is to be carried out in a large open area with nothing to burn - Hino-san does not
appreciate explosions in the shrine.

***

Life could be very serendipitous.

Leave it to karma to dump me into the company of a group of... magical pretty girls... one of whom is a huge brain that
goes to a top level cram school.

Mizuno-san tends towards the biochemical branch of tree, but she did understand me somewhat and I was ecstatic when she invited me to go with her to the cram
school, just so I could see what it was like.

Little did she know that I was about ready to adopt her as my unofficial little-sister - I was just saving it for later when someone, probably Kino-san or
Aino-san, had a camera phone handy to catch her reaction.

It was only natural that Tsukino-san and Kino-san were waiting for us at Juban Station - I'd heard about the upcoming math exam and the two girls'
study habits weren't the best, especially Tsukino-san.

Mizuno-san was an old hand at this, though, as most people like her tend to be. She gently, yet firmly reminded them that if she just gave them the answers
then they'd be even more hard pressed later on.

There was a scream from somewhere outside the station. We all looked at each other and bolted for the source.

Outside there were two boys: one was the typical Japanese middle-school boy, but the other looked more like a high school football player.

And then we saw what had them freaked.

I thought the bull-girl was strange. Now I got to meet the lion-girl. Seriously, what the hell was up with all the crazed furries? Friendly furries I could
possibly handle, but crazed homicidal ones? Bestow upon thy humble self a break, Raven-sama!

This time, at least, I was prepared. Without even bothering to see what the girls were doing, I unslung my pack and fumbled with the zipper for a second,
nearly ripping it open, and pulled out my gauntlet.

By the time I had it on and flaming, Makoto had entered the scene. It seemed she knew the smaller of the two boys.

Leo girl wasn't having any of it, though, and was about to pounce.

"Oh HELL no, you freak!" I said, but I never got the chance.

The larger of the two boys suddenly dashed, blurring from where he stood to behind the lion-girl, where he grabbed her by the tail and began to swing her
around like a track star performing a hammer throw. Within seconds the two were spinning so fast that we couldn't track them while Leo-girl wailed
horribly, starting to approach that dear-God-make-it-stop pitch.

Finally, the boy let her go and leo-girl became LEO-girl as she vanished into the late-evening sky.

And then the boy turned to me. "Is that you, Zeke?"

With a wide-eyed expression of shock and wonder on my face I had a more careful look at the meat-miracle I thought I'd never see again.

"KUBIAC!?"

The gentle giant smiled joyfully and grabbed me up in a bone-crushing hug.

"I've missed you so much, little buddy!" he cried out in English. "What are you doing here?"

"Kube... Air!" I somehow managed to gasp out.

Kubiac dropped me like a hot potatoe. "Oh! Sorry, little buddy."

"No problem," I wheezed. "Dude... the last time I saw you, you were
still in your freshman year. What happened?"

Kubiac shrugged. I think the trees moved to give him space. "I got found out and they sent me here as an exchange
student."

I grinned as the implications came to mind. Even as smart as Kubiac 'suposssedly' was, it would be expected that his grasp of Nihongo would make mine
look stellar by comparison.

"Oh, so you still get to play dumb, huh?" I said with a smile.

"All the time," he said, with a satisfied grin.

"Zee-kun?," said Ami. "Who is your friend?"

"I've seen him before!" squeeked Usagi fearfully. "He's the new boy in our class! ... scary..."

"Oh, don't be afraid," I said reassuringly. "This is Francis Lawrence Kubiac the Third, but he just goes by Kubiac and he is really a
wonderful person. Kubiac, these girls are friends of mine. Meet Tsukino Usagi, Mizuno Ami, and Kino Makoto."

Kubiac bowed politely. "Nice to meet you."

"Ano, can someone tell me what's going on?" said the other boy.

"Oh! Shinozaki-kun!" said Makoto suddenly. "Come with me, I can explain." And with that, Makoto all but dragged off the hapless other
boy.

I blinked at that. "Another old friend?"

***

We brought Kubiac back to the shrine. He and I caught up along the way. Back when we were living in sunny California, I
had somehow made friends with an odd group: a fellow named Parker Lewis and his friends, Jerry Steiner and 'Mikey' Patrick Randall. Kubiac wasn't
really part of the trio, but he was their go-to man when some muscle was needed.

I was associated because now and then Jerry, the brain of the group, ran into problems that even he had troubles cracking. Though I'd be damned if I could
ever figure out how that hammer-space jacket of his worked.

At some point in time, Kubiac let it slip to us that he was a lot smarter than he looked. Possibly even smarter than me and Jerry put together.

Despite the best efforts of Parker Lewis, his sister discovered the truth and it wasn't long until everyone else knew. After some rigorous placement
exams, it was decided that Kubiac should take Jerry Steiner's place as a transfer student.

And now here he was, at Juban no less.

"Earthquake! Everyone out!" yelled Rei as she came out of the shrine. She then stopped as she saw the huge gaijin that made Makoto (who was still
off with her old friend) look positively diminutive.

I looked to Kube. "Dude, you gotta work on lightening your step."

Kubiak had the decency to look sheepish. "Whoopsie."

I sighed and smiled, shaking my head. "Hino-san, meet my old friend, Kubiac. Kubiac, the fiery and beautiful Hino Rei."

"Zeke, is she your girlfriend?"

Rei turned red to match her hakama and I gave Kubiac a meaningful look. He only smiled at me.

"Don't mind him, Hino-san," I said. "He's a bit of a simple man." Kubiac only continued to smile as his status as a simpleton was
upheld.

***

Makoto walked into the shrine, hearing Zeke's voice. It sounded like he was telling a story. Curious, she listened in as she rounded the corner...

"So, that morning Kubiak decided he was going to eat an entire canned ham for breakfast on his way into school. You see how big this guy is? Even as big
as the American canned hams are, it's still just a snack for him."

He gets that hungry? thought Makoto. As big as he is, I believe it. He's
bigger than most sumo wrestlers I've seen!

"Now, along comes Lewis-san in the Spider that he doesn't know that his Dad wrecked. Kubiak whiffs his toss of the empty can and instead of going
into the trash can, it goes into the parking space Lewis is pulling into instead, and it goes -CRUNCH!- under the tires! And right where the dent in the
bumper is there just happens to be a sign post."

The other girls made various outcries at that, but Makoto was lost. Guess I needed to hear the first part. With that
thought in mind she went inside the room and the others welcomed her.

***

We all stuck together for an hour after Makoto returned, studying (or in my case, helping to study) for the math exam. I
showed the girls some new ways of solving the math problems, giving them the simple, step-by-step, Escalante method.

Throughout that session, Usugi lamented the loss of her boyfriend, Rei chided Usagi, Ami helped her along with her math (the poor girl was all but hopeless at
math), and Makoto doled out snacks. Granted, there was one more of us than what had been planed for (and that extra person happened to be able to eat all our
shares), but our study time had been severly cut-down by the incident with the cardian, so it worked out.

"It's so good, Kino-san!" said Kubiac happily. "Eat more now?"

"Ah!?" said Makoto, going red around the bridge of her nose. "Oh, hai!" She then scrambled to get more food for the giant. I had to
smile. If Kubiac played his cards right, he might just score himself a girlfriend that could trully make him happy.

So that night, after we all went our separate ways, I went to bed, exhausted but happy.

***

The next day we all decided to meet up to compare notes concerning the monster attacks. The place was, of course, the
Hikawa Shrine. It was usually pretty quiet on the weekdays, so it wasn't difficult to discuss certain business there.

Of course, this meant I had to play catch-up. The girls were a bit annoyed at having to give me the details of the previous run-in with the Dark moon Kingdom,
but they were able to condense it down to the the cliff-notes version.

That done, we got down to the business at hand.

"We found out that the enemy is going after human life-energy," said Luna. It explained why all the victims usually felt so exhausted.

"The Dark Kingdom was destroyed," said Artemis, "so we should assume that these recent incidents mean a new evil has appeared."

"Hang on," I said. "These Dark Kingdom guys had a similar modis operandi, right?"

"Somewhat," said Artemis. "Things changed a bit as we started taking down Queen Berryl's Generals, but it was usually monsters of some kind
collecting energy for their needs."

I frowned thoughtfully at that. "So, same means, different group with possibly different goals in mind?"

"That seems plausible," answered Luna.

"Their evil aura is different from the ones before," concurred Rei.

"It seems like this could be related to that incident two weeks ago when that strange light plummeted to Earth."

Makoto suddenly slammed her fist against a support column, making the whole outbuilding shudder.

"It doesn't matter who they are! I'll bring them down with my bare fists!"

Rei smiled nervously and waved her hands in a supplicating 'please stop' gesture. "Okay, but please don't bring down my house!"

"Say, ladies?" I said. "Anyone think that Tsukino-san is running a bit later than usual?"

"She does have that test," said Minako, "so maybe she's at home studying..." She then thought about what she was saying and then smiled
nervously. "Uh, I guess there's no way she's doing that."

"No way," confirmed Luna, shaking her head.

I sighed. "Okay then, I'll go get her."

"Are you sure about doing that?" asked Rei.

"Sure, I know the way after she asked me to drop her off the other night. And I have the passenger-set mounted still."

"Well don't take forever like Usagi does."

"Hey, this is me here. On the wings of ravens, I shall convey thy klutzy leader."

"Why would you say something like that!" snapped Rei.

I smiled. "Because she sure as hell ain't fearless." And before she could loose her cool I had dashed off.

***

When I found her, she was being accosted by an oddly familiar looking boy her age with a bouquet of roses. I'd
learned recently that Usagi and Mamoru were an item (for all eternity, it seemed), so I wasn't about to let some snot-nosed pampered-pooch have the chance
to try and woo her.

I killed my booster-motor, clamped down hard on the rear brakes and turned hard, swinging the tail-end to interpose it between Usagi and the boy. Usagi yelped
in surprise and the boy cried out in shock.

"Oi, bishounen. Take a soak in a cold bath and leave my imouto-chan
alone."

"I-Imouto-chan!?" said the boy, his expression darkening. Wow. Major bad vibes here, and why the hell was
I getting the sensation that I should know this guy?

"What are you doing?" hissed Usagi in my ear.

"Saving you from an embarrassing situation. Now just play along."

Usagi nodded and got with the program. "Zee-nii-san! Thank you for saving me." Not too bad, I though.
Never figured Usagi to be able to ham it up like that.

"Think nothing of it, imouto-chan. You were running a bit late, so why don't you get on and I'll give
you a ride."

"You're the best, nii-san!" said Usagi as she jumped onto my passenger module. Without another word, I
maxed out my booster-motor and pedaled hard, peeling out as I got underway, because nothing says 'screw you' better than leaving burning under the
other guy's nose.

***

The boy watched Zeke go, glaring into his back as though by doing so he'd burn a hole through the human.

Him again! Thought Ail. What is that human doing meddling in MY affairs!? Could he possibly know my true nature? No, my disguise is perfect and few humans
are sensitive enough to detect it. But he makes me wonder... I may need to remove him from the picture, and then Usagi will be mine.

***

"I'm glad you're back," said Luna as I pulled up. She then noticed Usagi's state and blinked queerly. "Ano, is she okay?"

I looked to Usagi and noticed that she seemed a bit loopy as she tried to dismount. Gently, I helped her off.

"She's just a bit dizzy," I said as I guided Usagi to the Shrine. "I guess she wasn't expecting my bike to be so fast. It should wear
off in a few minutes."

"I hope so," said Luna, deeply concerned. "Rei is preparing to perform a fire reading to predict the next attack. we may need to go at a
moment's notice."

"No problem, then," I said as I continued to guide Usagi up the stairs.

Once we got to the fire-pit (which I had spent a couple of exhausting hours cleaning the night of The Fireball Incident) I made sure that Usagi was situated
comfortably. Rei gave me a questioning look when she saw me doing that and I shrugged.

"The Princess, here, and speed does not mix too well."

Rei only nodded in understanding and began lighting the pyre.

While she was doing that I made preparations of my own; I happened to have my rune stones and casting cloth with me.

At the time, I had two sets with me. One was my Hematite set. Hematite, sometimes called iron oxide, had a grounding property that I liked. It grounded my
wind and fire energies and tied in nicely to my steel sub-element. That and I just loved the look of it - dark, yet shiney like polished chrome.

The other set was my (mineral) set. It was interesting looking stuff; blue and black and shot through with white, like a roiling thunderstorm with an angry
blue-and-black sky. This set was pretty much the polar opposite of my Hematite set. This set energized and invigorated, tying into my wind element and
amplifying it.

Desicions, desicions.

On a whim, I went with the (mineral) set and began to settle into my casting state, clearing my mind and focusing on the issue at hand; where the monster was
going to hit next.

"What are you doing?" asked Rei.

"Parallel reading," I stated. "When one form of divination is used, I've found that it is useful to run a second form of divination
alongside the first. The second reinforces the first by providing a greater degree of detail - details that my Runes are capable of providing."

"Very well then. Make sure that you don't interfere."

"By your command, milady." Rei glared at me, then left to tend to her fire, which was already starting to roar hungrily.

I focused once more on my runes. I opened the drawstring bag and began to run my fingers through the stones, mixing them properly and getting a slight
electrical thrill - the stones were eager to be used.

Rei began making her seals as I closed my eyes and began to pull stones blindly from my bag, then set them on the cloth wherever I felt my hand needed to go.
I continued to pull stones until I suddenly heard Rei cry out loudly. At that point I felt that no more stones were needed and began to read the casting,
paying little attention to the remarks that were being made.

"She's looking for her next victim!" said Rei. "Zeke, what do you have?"

"To the west - a grave degree of foul energy and ill-tidings. Wunjo shall guide my sight from here to there.
Let's go!"

"What are you talking about, stupid? This is a job for us, not idiotically brave Americans."

"Ask me if I care. I know exactly where that monster is and I got the quickest means of getting there." Without giving Rei and the others a chance
to react, I dashed out of the Shrine and all but flew down the stairs. With quick fingers, I got the lock loose from my bike and mounted it. I was about to
kick off when I felt someone jumping onto the back. At first I thought it might have been Rei trying to stop me, but I was surprised when I saw unruly brown
hair instead of tidy black hair.

"Makoto?" I said in surprise.

"Just go!" she said. I didn't ask any other questions. I just floored the motor and kicked-off.

Makoto was quiet the entire way as I held onto the runestone marked with Wunjo, letting it guide my hand. Soon, we had arrived at a park where there were
screams coming from inside. Makoto and I only looked at each other, then nodded. I made sure to pull my fire gauntlet from the saddlebags.

We went in running, me getting a fireball ready just in case. It wasn't hard to find the way - there were passed-out people here and there, forming an
easy-to-follow path that led to the monster.

And then we came upon the jaw-dropping sight of Kubiac going toe-to-toe with the monster. His mass kept him from moving really fast, but the Leo-girl looked
like she'd taken a couple of Kubiac's blows that have been known to kill school buses. No kidding, I've actually seen it with my own two eyes and
would never have believe it otherwise.

Makoto jumped in first.

"Hey! Everyone was studying so hard for tomorrow's test! I won't forgive you for interfering with everyone's studies!"

"Jeeze, what a hothead," I groused as Sailor Jupiter warmed up her attack. I noticed that Kubiac was simply staring in shock and Leo-girl was taking
advantage of the situation.

Not on my watch.

"Hey, furball! Meet fireball!" And with that, I threw the fireball I had primed. Lion-girl never got the chance to react as my fireball flew
straight at her face and exploded on contact, throwing her up-and-over as if Mike Tyson had just nailed her with a killer uppercut punch. That was a nice
surprise - I hadn't expected it to stun her that effectively. Sailor Jupiter then got her attack in just as Leo-girl was getting to her feet.

A resounding crash and sizzle of lightening changed her mind about that whole walking thing.

It was then that the other girls showed up.

"Wow. That's kinda..." started Sailor Venus.

"Anti-climactic?" I hazarded.

"Yeah," replied Venus.

"You might as well finish her off, Sailor Moon," said Ami.

"Oh, right!" Usagi then went through her flashy attack sequence and finished the Leo-girl, turning her into a blackening card.

"And another one bites the dust," I said, stomping on the remains of the card for good measure. I then
turned to Kubiac, who was still staring at the girls, dumbfounded. "Hey, Kube-meister. You okay
there?"

He then pointed a shaky hand at Sailor Jupiter. "Makoto?"

All the girls freaked out at that. Now Kubiac somehow knew their identities. Really, for me it came as no surprise, given how intelligent he really is. But
still...

"Oh great. Yet another debrief," I grumbled.

And there was yet one more surprise left in the evening as a white rose suddenly planted itself into the earth with a clearly audible impact. Looking up, we
all saw the source of the thrown rose - a masked man dressed in the manner of middle-eastern royalty.

"Who the hell does this guy think he is?" I said disbelievingly. "Lawrence of Arabia?"

"Tonight's moon is perfect for lovers," he stated poetically. "It is not a night suitable for horrifying monsters."

"it can't be... it can't be..." said Usagi in a small voice, completely stunned. "Who are you?"

"I am the Moonlight Knight."

"Moonlight Knight?" repeated Usagi. "Mamoru?"

But he didn't answer her. Instead, he turned to me. "You. You seek to protect Sailor Moon and the other Senshi?"

"Not protect," I said. "Simply to aid them. It never hurts to help, and besides, they are my friends."

"Well said, Dark Knight."

I raised an eyebrow. "Dark Knight?"

"Indeed, for if Queen Serenity still sat upon her throne, she would surely have knighted thee. Perhaps, though, when a new Queen sits upon the throne of
the Moon Kingdom." He then turned back to Usagi. "Sailor Moon. When the time comes, we are certain to have a chance to converse. I look forward
to it. Adieu."

And with that, he turned and disappeared into the night, leaving us confused and Usagi with a positively goofy grin on her face.

"Zeke, little buddy?" said Kubiac, who had managed to sneak up on me. "What the heck is going on here?"

I sighed heavily at that. "Lots of stupid stuff, big buddy. We'll get everyone rounded back up at the shrine and
get everything sorted out there."

And there it is, folks. I thought that it'd be fun to get Kubiac involved ASAP, that way Zeke isn't exactly fending for himself until he meets Sosuke
(and won't that meeting be all the more interesting with Kubiac and Makoto there to provide muscle). Polish to come later after your commentary and a
little more data collection, but otherwise I think that's about it.

Last edited by Black Aeronaut on 07 Sep 2009 10:17, edited 1 time in total.
Reply
 
#2
'branch of tree' Missing a 'the' Otherwise it looks good to me. - CD
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
Reply
 
#3
You do realize that Allan is sooo going to decide that Kubiac is Zeke's Cardian equivalent at this point? That and between being called the 'Dark
Knight' and having 'wonderful toys' Zeke is doomed to be called Batman at some point. Couple of subtle bits of foreshadowing I liked. All in all
a fun and productive episode... though I'd have a secondary indicator of perspective and scene changes... most as FF.net is infamous for sicing bizarre
formatting issues on the world.
Reply
 
#4
Quote:Zeke is doomed to be called Batman at some point.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Reply
 
#5
Necratoid makes a point I'd intended to raise. The changed font to indicate a change in point of view is an OK touch, but if your font gets altered against
your intentions (for instance, cutting-and-pasting text in Word will sometimes change the font to something that has no relation to
either what was pasted or the area into which it was pasted), your reader may be left floundering. Putting in some other indicator as well would be a good
idea.

Occasional spelling errors and missing or possibly incorrect punctuation. Well, that's why it's a draft.

One stylistic quibble raised my hackles so much that I'm going to mention it here:

Quote: the rest of the Senshi, Artemis and myself felt it would be best to erase your memories of Rei and the rest
of the Senshi."
I for one think it'd flow a lot better as, "the Senshi, Artemis, and I felt it would be best to erase your memories of us."

Let me explain why before you rig me for keelhauling. First, "the rest of the Senshi"? It seems to be
all of the currently known (to young Darkwood, at least) Senshi, so speaking of them -- twice in one sentence -- as "the rest of
the Senshi" is ... odd. "The rest of" could apply if referring to a prior exception, that is, "Sailor Asteroid Belt doesn't agree, but
the rest of the Senshi...."

Second, as I implied, using the same phrasing twice in the same sentence is troublesome. Also, why, in the second use, would Luna differentiate Rei from the
other Senshi? Not to mention that they're talking about erasing his memories "of Rei and the rest of the Senshi" but
not of the talking cats. Yes, that should go without saying, but just saying "us" eliminates that
nitpick.

Third, the use of "myself" in this case: would you say, "Myself thinks the Enterprise is built on the lines of a garbage scow"?
Not if you're speaking your native language, you wouldn't. (And don't say it in front of Scotty in any case.) So you
still don't use it as part of a compound subject.

I will now get off my soapbox before people start throwing things.
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
Reply
 
#6
Okay, so the only real issues here are grammar? Okay, cool! Glad that there isn't a mob with torches and pitchforks out to kill my creation here. Wink

I'll get on those grammar issues.
Reply
 
#7
I wanted to point out that the big guy's name should be Kubiak with two K's, but a little 'net research suggests I've actually been spelling it
wrong for the last nineteen years. ;.;

--Sam

"'Tae koff ftheja cket'? Sirs, you're speaking gibberish."
Reply
 
#8
Eh, 'sokay. I discovered the same thing when I wisely decided to double-check on the spelling of his name.
Reply
 
#9
I'd just like to add that I really liked the pun about "leo-girl became LEO-girl as she vanished into the
late-evening sky."
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
Reply
 
#10
Thanks. That one just jumped out at me from nowhere and I had to use it.
Reply
 
#11
Just as a side note... the fact the monster of the week ended up pulling a Team Rocket means that she had to actually land somewhere or be desummoned
midflight. If she did land that means you can reference this event later for characters that haven't shown up yet. Even if its as simple as someone in an
intelligence meeting being distracted by a lion girl doing a 'bug-on-a-windshield' impression while smacking into the window of the conference room or
just falling past one... now if Kubiac keeps doing that orbital bad guy trick you can have a running gag that introduces random characters in brief scenes,
ones that tell a little of the person's perspective without being explicit. If nothing else having the randoms talking about the bizarre recenent tendancy
of monster girls to fall from the sky be overheard by a certain crazy prepared, but ill socialized character. Resulting in random anti aircraft weapons hidden
in bizarre places... which should break people's brains when they get a hard to argue with explanation of how the fact he just used one, for exactly that
purpose, makes this justified.

And because I've started it anyway, a bit of probable foreshadowing... "Holy Rubber Bullets, Batman!'
Reply
 
#12
Love the bug-on-a-windshield idea. I'll see what I can do with it.

Heh. I can see Zeke getting tired of the whole Batman thing... "Ravens! Not Bats!"
Reply
 
#13
It was a little bit difficult for me to picture Zeke giving his two speeches. The content is good, I'm just not sure if Zeke's switching tones in the
middle of them:

Quote: I shrugged. "Mage, engineer, warrior? Maybe all three? Maybe just one, but definitely not none. I can't say
just yet. I'm still developing. I know that I am unique in both sides of my families, and that is part of why my Grandpa Bear, my Mother's Father,
said that I must find my own path, even if I have to blaze one of my own."
Is he dismissive or thoughtful here? (or does he switch from one to the other?)



Quote: "I have every right to say that," I snapped back. "When I was four years old, my mother died in an
automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. My world fell apart on that day and I learned the bitter taste of death. But then my grandfather taught me of
Raven and I learned once more about the almost unbearable sweetness of life and how good it is. I miss my mother horribly, but my memories of her are among
my most treasured. Don't even think to say that I have no right to speak of life and death and how both are essential for balance."
Is Zeke snapping for the whole speech here? Or does he catch himself, switching to lecturing, and then back to snapping at the end?


Just wanted to point out a couple of things that seemed to need a bit of polishing.

Otherwise, your piece was excellent.
Reply
 
#14
Oh, and just a side note: I'd find it hilarious if Zeke was completely wrong about how Kubiac realized Sailor Jupiter's identity, and instead was
unconsciously neutralizing the 'glamour' for those that know the Sailor's civilian identities.
Reply
 
#15
Actually, having him flip out about being 'stereotyped' as Batman would be a good way to have his iconoclastic nature of hating to be able to fit into
a classification box shine through and make a certain observation based freak out in the future more satisfying as we have a precedent.

I think what happened is Western mindset meet Japanese mindset designed glamour. The Japanese are trained to pretend that didn't happen and wander off,
thus fooling them is a matter of making them not want to get involved. The American, and more specifically DnD players mind set is to stare at it and
disbelieve the weirdness to confirm that actually happened. Considering that The Thunder dragon attack (which is what she is likely using there) involves
Jupiter getting hit in the face, that lightning rod on her tiara specifically, with a lightning bolt and then channeling it at the target. I don't know
about you but seeing my saviour taser herself from on high is something I'd take a round to disbelieve. Also considering that Usagi pimp slapped time
backwards a year and deleveled them all, added to the stated glamour making them older and more glamorous... (Arbitrary numbers attack!) its probably a DC 16
or DC 18 will save at this point. Factor in that Kubiac knows her, like her and her cooking, and that he has like 8 or 9 levels and all positive stat
modifiers... He has a 60-40 chance of breaking the glamour and spent 2 rounds doing so. That she showed up with Zeke in tow didn't hurt either.
Reply
 
#16
Quote: paladindythe wrote:

It was a little bit difficult for me to picture Zeke giving his two speeches. The content is good, I'm just not sure if Zeke's switching tones in the
middle of them:




Quote: I shrugged. "Mage, engineer, warrior? Maybe all three? Maybe just one, but definitely not none. I can't say
just yet. I'm still developing. I know that I am unique in both sides of my families, and that is part of why my Grandpa Bear, my Mother's Father,
said that I must find my own path, even if I have to blaze one of my own."
Is he dismissive or thoughtful here? (or does he switch from one to the other?)




Quote: "I have every right to say that," I snapped back. "When I was four years old, my mother died in an
automobile accident caused by a drunk driver. My world fell apart on that day and I learned the bitter taste of death. But then my grandfather taught me of
Raven and I learned once more about the almost unbearable sweetness of life and how good it is. I miss my mother horribly, but my memories of her are among
my most treasured. Don't even think to say that I have no right to speak of life and death and how both are essential for balance."
Is Zeke snapping for the whole speech here? Or does he catch himself, switching to lecturing, and then back to snapping at the end?



Just wanted to point out a couple of things that seemed to need a bit of polishing.


Otherwise, your piece was excellent.
Paladin, thanks for pointing this out to me.

For the first speech you referenced, Zeke's tone is one of honestly professed ignorance, which quickly shifts to a mini-rant - he knows that he's
supposed to be something special, he's just not sure how and, to be frank, he finds it somewhat annoying.

As for the second speech, at first he is snapping, but then once he gets into details about his past it turns into empassioned lecturing, with a touch of anger
at their presumption towards the end.

I hope that clears it up for you and I'll get these fixed up for the final that I'll post to FF.net.

Quote: Necratoid wrote:

Actually, having him flip out about being 'stereotyped' as Batman would be a good way to have his iconoclastic nature of hating to be able to fit
into a classification box shine through and make a certain observation based freak out in the future more satisfying as we have a precedent.
Heh-heh. Yeah, this thought actually occurred to me. I think we can expect more Batman references in the chapters to come, followed eventually
by a meltdown where Zeke is delivering a 1st Class beat down to the tune of, "How! Many! Times! Do! I! Gotta! Say! I'm! Not! Sprockin'!
BATMAN!"

Quote: Necratoid wrote:

I think what happened is Western mindset meet Japanese mindset designed glamour. The Japanese are trained to pretend that didn't happen and wander off,
thus fooling them is a matter of making them not want to get involved. The American, and more specifically DnD players mind set is to stare at it and
disbelieve the weirdness to confirm that actually happened. Considering that The Thunder dragon attack (which is what she is likely using there) involves
Jupiter getting hit in the face, that lightning rod on her tiara specifically, with a lightning bolt and then channeling it at the target. I don't know
about you but seeing my saviour taser herself from on high is something I'd take a round to disbelieve. Also considering that Usagi pimp slapped time
backwards a year and deleveled them all, added to the stated glamour making them older and more glamorous... (Arbitrary numbers attack!) its probably a DC 16
or DC 18 will save at this point. Factor in that Kubiac knows her, like her and her cooking, and that he has like 8 or 9 levels and all positive stat
modifiers... He has a 60-40 chance of breaking the glamour and spent 2 rounds doing so. That she showed up with Zeke in tow didn't hurt either.
Cool! I never thought of it that way, and it makes complete sense. I think that what may happen later on is that the 'Think Tank' of
Zeke, Ami, and (secretly) Kubiac will have a deep discussion about this affect and how they can fix it. After all, there's more than a few Americans in
Japan these days, so it'd behoove them to fix this problem.
Reply
 
#17
Quote: Ravens! Not Bats!"




"How! Many! Times! Do! I! Gotta! Say! I'm! Not! Sprockin'! BATMAN!"
Which is the cue for a true American-comics geek to call him Nightwing.
----------
No, I don't believe the world has gone mad.  In order for it to go mad it would need to have been sane at some point.
Reply
 
#18
Quote: Deadpan29 wrote:


Quote: Ravens! Not Bats!"




"How! Many! Times! Do! I! Gotta! Say! I'm! Not! Sprockin'! BATMAN!"
Which is the cue for a true American-comics geek to call him Nightwing.
BWAAAA-HA-HAAAA!
Reply
 
#19
Deadpan29 Wrote:
Quote:Ravens! Not Bats!"
"How! Many! Times! Do! I! Gotta! Say! I'm! Not! Sprockin'! BATMAN!"
Which is the cue for a true American-comics geek to call him Nightwing.
Or, with the earlier Raven mention, any of the other Titans...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Reply
 
#20
Actually, given the expletive he uses, I'd go with "Lightning Lad." Smile

--Sam

"They curse like merchant spacemen! It's always grife that and sprock this..."
Reply
 
#21
I you really want to annoy him properly simply have someone actually research alternate comic heroes to call him... or have it be a litany of names at once as
a certain 'military fanatic' do far to much research after trying to figure out who this 'Batman' is in the first place.
Reply
 
#22
Quote: Necratoid wrote:

I you really want to annoy him properly simply have someone actually research alternate comic heroes to call him... or have it be a litany of names at once
as a certain 'military fanatic' do far to much research after trying to figure out who this 'Batman' is in the first place.
*Evil Laugh* Oh yes, I'm going to have fun with this.
Reply
 
#23
Having just completed Batman: Arkham Asylum, Batman's toys are pretty fresh in my mind. It's not too hard to imagine Zeke using a 'toy' to
channel his wind magic for things like launching grappling hooks, or shooting zip lines. All he needs to go further than that is some backing, like some
international anti-terrorist organization backing him up...
Reply
 
#24
Quote:All he needs to go further than that is some backing, like some international anti-terrorist organization backing him up...
Yo, Joes!

(looks at Tessa)
(withers under her glare)

Never mind...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Reply
 
#25
Oh, wouldn't that be fun. GI Joe and Mithril in a competition to see who snags him. Cobra and Analgram either trying to do the same thing..or eliminating
him as a precaution.
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 3 Guest(s)