I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl

[LilFluff]

Well, I don't see a new ROFL thread up to replace the locked one yet. So, since I wanted to post a ROFL I suppose it's up to me.
From Dark Titans chapter 12

Manomanoman! He'd get the next one for sure! If he didn't, he was
dead! . . . A sudden thought, almost a foreign concept by this point,
entered his mind.
. . . Oh gods . . . this was going to hurt . . .
The
scream of tearing metal, crumbling masonry and rumbling water drowned
out his own scream of pain rather nicely. The hydrant collapsed under
his charge in a manner reminiscent to most pop cans, the collision
sending him . . . now her, slamming face first into the pavement with
punishing force, as almost all of his forward momentum instantly
converted into straight down momentum.
. . . daaamn . . .
how did that Lost Moron do this all the time? Running headlong into
infrastructure hurt like hell! Unfortunately, the geyser of water scant
inches behind her was spraying her liberally with water and making it
very difficult for her to simply fall unconscious. Spraying curses
liberally herself, she sat up, wincing at every small flare of pain that
blossomed across her abused body.
Now . . . why the hell had she
done that again? In retrospect, running headfirst into a fire hydrant
seemed like an incredibly stupid thing to do . . . She giggled to
herself. Oh yeah! She was being chased by a murderous Catgirl!

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

[K sai]

One of the latest chapters of the First Try (Naruto) sequel - First Try: Team 7 is a massive ROFL...

Clash of the ANBU

Summary: After Naruto saves everyone including Haku and the DotM - three groups are sent to Wave.

1) ANBU from the Leaf to back up team 7

2) ANBU from Kiri to kill Z and H

3) A Root kill team disguised as Kiri ANBU (also to kill Z and H)

They all get there at about the same time... and ROOT screws up when the Kiri asks them who they are...and the Leaf realise the fake Kiri team is an unsanctioned Leaf group...and Kiri thinks the Leaf is there to stop them... and is pissed at the impostors... you get the idea - SNAFU

...You can almost hear the Benny Hill through the massive cloud of flying dust, kunai, and jutsu that ensues.

Well I think its funny anyway (except for the dead bodies of course)
Oh and Kakashi's internal monologue immediately after in the next chapter:

Kakashi sighed in relief as he set foot on the newly completed bridge
and took the first step on his journey home. He would say that Wave was
a nice place to visit, not to live, but as far as he was concerned, it
was neither. Give him Konoha any day of the week. Konoha where food was
plentiful, he wasn't attacked by missing nin, and ANBU didn't hold
battles royal in the street.
God, he'd even take the constant
bickering of his team which seemed to have cooled down a bit, rather
than come back here. He'd even be willing to take three straight days of
Maito Gai doing nothing but pestering him about stupid challenges.
Hell, he almost felt like kissing Maito Gai the next time he saw him.
Almost.
Hell, he'd rather go on a vacation to Iwa than come back here.

K

[Bob Schroeck]

This has little to do with the actual purpose of the thread save that it echoes the title... but while driving Peggy to work this morning I heard mention of a band expected to have one of the top ten songs of the summer, which was (to my amusement and surprise) named "LMFAO".
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[LilFluff]

From Dark Titans (link up above in the first post), chapter 16

"Damn! It's time for the Saotome School's Ultimate Technique-" His
cry was cut off, though, as Ryu roughly pushed him aside with a heavily
muscled arm.
"We don't have time for any stupid techniques! Everyone, run away!"

Ranma 1/2 Spoiler:

Spoiler

That is one of the Saotome School's Secret Ultimate Techniques. The Saotome Ryu Ogi, combining the principles of motion, contemplation, and opposition. In other words: Run away, think of a better way to win the fight, and only then return.

And sure, most of us know this already, but it's a fun excuse to use the spoiler tag.
And in Chapter 17 the poor side character Officer Daizo gets a nice line.

A quick scan of his surroundings told him pretty much what had
happened. He was currently sitting on the floor in the middle of a
relatively upscale hotel room. The smashed window marked his entrance;
it was a damn good thing that he'd decided to wear his trench coat, its
heavy leather seemed to have protected him from getting too cut up. The
wall before him had a shattered painting hanging from it, though the
wall itself really wasn't any worst for wear. Honestly, he'd half
expected the wall to shatter like glass when he'd hit it; unfortunately,
it had been pretty much the opposite that had happened. Obviously he'd
been hanging out with Saotome too long, it was starting to loosen his
tenuous grip on reality.
Of course, it was about then that he noticed the nice, fluffy, queen sized bed sitting about two feet to his side.
"Thank
goodness this nice, hardwood floor broke my fall, I'd hate to think how
landing on that soft, comfy bed would have traumatized me . . ." Why
did the gods hate him so?

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

[Norgarth]

another chapter of Sparkgate, and here's a couple of the fun bits:
http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost ... count=1449

Want I should stay over for the night?" Samantha offered.
"Give your brain a break, Carter," Jack O'Neill said, leather jacket unzipped. "If you sleep over, you two'll end up eating fudge and rewiring the toaster to break light-speed."
"I'd slug you in the arm in defiance of military regs, sir," Samantha said, "if there wasn't a 70% chance that might happen."

    "Sam's got a superhero leg now," Cassandra insisted.  "And mom says you're really great at fixing people.  She told Sam that you were like  Doctor Mengele."

     "I should refer to the man's work," Agatha said.

___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[ECSNorway]

A Hero

Being a member of the Cult of Skaro, Dalek Sec was capable of feeling emotions other than anger. However, those emotions were quite subdued compared to what other, inferior, species were supposedly capable of feeling. However, no species in the universe, not even the emotionally-centered humans, could match a Dalek when it came to sheer raw rage. What the average member considered blinding rage would only leave a Dalek slightly miffed.

Conversely, what the average Dalek considered omnicidal rage would make any other life-form explode.

Dalek Sec wasn’t quite near the I-will-kill-everyone-on-this-planet-with-their-own-internal-organs stage yet, but he was certainly getting there.

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.

[LilFluff]

Another bit from Dark Titans, this time chapter 35

On the left monitor was a screen full of test questions that he might be asked in his upcoming exam.
Par Example:
The nuclear reactor you just saved is about to go critical. Do you:
A) Hack into the computer system and override the safety protocols to flood the reactor with coolant.
Hmmm, tempting, if he actually knew how to do that, or what half of those words even meant.
B) Leap into the reactor and absorb the excess radiation, thus preventing the meltdown.
Seriously? That sounded more insane than Ranma's 'Let's trick Happosai with magical incense' plan.
C) Envelope the reactor in a force field, containing the blast and minimizing damage to the surrounding city.
… Um … pass.
D) Tear the reactor of its moorings and throw it into space.
Oh, come on!
Who wrote this test? A quick scroll to the top of the mock test
answered that question: Co-authored by Batman, Captain Atom, Green
Lantern and Superman.
Well, doesn't that just figure?
Leaning back into his chair, he
reached under his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Maybe the big dogs were
getting a little set in their ways? Was it really too hard to put a
'Find a convenient scientist to help', option? Or a 'Go to ' to find out
how to shut it down?

-----

Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.

[Epsilon]

I don't care if its not fanfic, this is hilarious. From the blog Hitherby Dragons:

Earlier today, the Devil admitted that he was in the wrong. He hadn’t
been evil. He hadn’t been a monster. He’d just been sick, he said. It
was a disorder.

“We should have known.” That was his best friend, Christopher Walken. His other best friends, Gabriel and Metatron, nodded.

“We should have known,” said Mr. Walken. “But it was so easy to
believe that he’d just gone bad. That he was causing all the evil in the
world out of malice.”

“We spent years inventing philosophical justifications for it,” noted
famed playwright Christopher Marlowe. “I guess that was pretty dumb.”

“I’m going to have to be on medication for the rest of my life,”
admitted the Devil. “If I go off of it, it’s back to my God-defying
people-torturing ways. There’ll be a Hell again. There’ll be evil. I’ll
be back on your shoulder, tempting you to do wrong.”

That’s when they shot him.

One wouldn’t have imagined that he’d have a brain, but he did. It got
into everything. It Sataned the tuxes and dresses of the rich. It
Scratched the records. It Deviled the eggs.

The only break in the silence was the clatter of his pitchfork hitting the ground.

-------------
Epsilon

[robkelk]

Another "not fanfic, but hilarious": http://www.collectedcurios.com/sequentialart.php?s=701]Sequential Art, strip #701
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Ebony]

Another "not fanfic, but hilarious": Sequential Art, strip #701

I prefer one from a few strips earlier. Because every team has That Guy.
  
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Sirrocco]

One off of Spacebattles, posted by Foamy

Battle-scarred Afghan vet meets drug-abusing dilettante grad student; They Fight Crime

(As he notes, that really *is* an entirely accurate description of the Sherlock Holmes stories.)

[Herr Bad Moon]

From Chapter 20 of Reflections Lost on a Dark Road, the Ranma/Xcom/Teen Titans crossover by Lathis and Cap Cryssalid.

From: Lt. Saotome Ranma

Sent: 03.14.2007

To: Jinx

Subject: Volunteer Assignment

Squaddie,

As your always friendly and super cool commanding officer, I've signed you up to volunteer for kitchen cleanup duty. You might be asking yourself: "Hey, awesome! But why am I receiving this great honor? Not that I need an excuse to help out around the base?" Director Wiessman, you know, the guy who records our every move on this base twenty four hours a day, kindly informed me of your second unregistered personal intrusion in one week. He and I had a really nice chat, you know, about the weather and the Red Sox and Yankees, and, oh yeah, he mentioned something about being positively livid. Base procedures are to be followed at all times, what with this being a military facility and all that good stuff.

But, "no big," I said, "Hey, Chief! Jinx is a great girl, and she probably just forgot to swipe her ID card and confirm her entry clearance. She definitely isn't being controlled by a malicious alien intelligence out to subvert her NCO, she's just practicing being sneaky." He agreed, especially after I told him you were going to volunteer for some of the dirtier, greasier cleaning details in the kitchen. "What a fine young woman!" he said. Certainly not one we should punish.

So all's well that ends well!

Please note that, in the future, if you and little-Ryouga want to have some horizontal fun, then you should fill out the proper permission forms to provide joint access to his room. Giggity.

Your pal

And your freakin' CO

- Ranma Saotome

PS: Seriously. Don't sneak into any more rooms.

---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[anowack]

"Easy, Naruto," said Shino calmly. "Kiba merely meant that it is because your squad consists of all the members of Team 7."The
other ninja nodded to themselves in understanding, as if Shino's vague
explanation suddenly made everything so spotlessly clear and
devastatingly obvious...well to everyone except the three lone members
of said team. Naruto along with Sasuke and Sakura wore blank faces of
confusion.
"What's wrong with our team?" they all chimed.
"N-Nothing's wrong with you...per se" responded Ino sheepishly, her expression almost pained.
"You see," Chouji continued, "we just mean about your jinx."
Sakura and Naruto blinked back while Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow. "What jinx?" they echoed.
"Jeez,
you gotta be kidding me?" responded Kiba, partly astounded and
partially amused. "You honestly mean you haven't noticed it already?"
Kakashi's pupils shook their heads dumbly. "Every mission you guys have
ever been on has ended up a disaster!"
"Yes," agreed Neji. "They have all been fraught with unanticipated and dangerous complications."
The confused trio looked to each other and back at the Konoha ninja before them.
Kiba
slapped himself in the forehead, chuckling to himself. "You're kidding
me! Well let's see, there was that huge monster battle with those sand
ninja back during the final rounds of the chuunin exams…" Kiba counted
off one finger on his hand.
"Oh and the incident during the exams
too in the Forest of Death when Lee got injured," stated Tenten. Kiba
marked off another finger.
"And who could forget our first training mission together," cringed Ino. Third finger up.
"D-Didn't something h-happen in the Land of Waves t-too," squeaked Hinata. The brown-haired genin raised his fourth finger.
"Plus
I heard from Asuma-sensei that bad things went down for your group
sometime between the Third's death and Tsunade's return to the village,"
added Shikamaru, contributing despite his disinterest in the
conversation. Finger number five was now up. This was beginning to get
ridiculous.
"And rounding on number six," began Kiba, "is, of
course, this mission we just completed." The boy raised half a dozen
counted fingers, wiggling them for emphasis. "Do you see what I mean
now? We all know your team is jinxed."
Team 7 paused pensively as
they mentally went over their exploits for themselves, eyes widening as
they all came to the same pitiful realization.
"B-But…I mean come on guys," said Naruto, "we haven't had bad luck on every mission."
He seemed to be saying this more for himself than the others, looking
to his two teammates for support. "W-well…" he started frantically after
no response was given, "th-there was that one time when we found that
lost cat." His hopeful eyes shone with victory.
"B-But don't you
remember what happened?" said Sakura slowly, not wanting to burst
Naruto's bubble of triumph too quickly. "We discovered that the cat was
being driven away by a mafia of ninja dogs that roamed the neighborhood
and eventually came up against their owners who happened to be a group
of bandits smuggling black-market goods into the Hidden Leaf village."

One amusing bit from a (very flawed, but improving) super-Sakura story (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5151266/33/A_New_Destiny)

---

Aaron Nowack

[robkelk]

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?578 ... aven/page9]Shadowjack's watched episode 101 of Sailor Moon...

Usagi: "Can I ask just the teensiest-eensiest-weeniest little thing of you, my love, my pet, my dear?"
Mamoru: "Don't do the puppy-dog eyes, don't—"
Usagi: /puppy-dog eyes.
Mamoru: "Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap okay."

Michiru: /is not irritated at this.
Michiru: /being irritated would imply that there was something between me and Haruka.
Michiru: /and we agreed that there isn't.
Michiru: /so I am not irritated.
Michiru: /and this is not a knife in my hand.

Rei: "How are you able to be late for your own surprise birthday party?"
Usagi: "Well, Mom tells me it's an appropriate reenactment…"
Makoto: "Anyway, happy… whatever-th birthday. How old are you, anyway?"
Usagi: "Seventeen."
Rei and Ami: "Sixteen."
Usagi: "Goddammit, I earned that extra year. Any year in which you die counts."

(Never mind that Shadowjack's off by a year here.)

Usagi: "If he really loved me, he'd have figured it out without me having to tell him!"
Makoto: "Because breaking into the district records office in the middle of the night to secretly look up your lover's birth certificate is the height of romantic passion."
Ami: "It is? Oh, thank goodness."

Mamoru: "A pure heart is a ray of light that brightens the darkness of the night! I will make sure to protect the glimmer of the pure heart!"
Usagi: "Glurg."
Mamoru: "…not as fun when she's not awake to applaud…"

Minako: "Okay, this is officially the worst birthday party I've ever been to. And that's counting the one with the spiders."

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Bob Schroeck]

From http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-25153-1/ ... rother.htm]Big Brother, a Buffy/Avatar The Last Airbender crossover that dumps Xander into the world of the latter series, where he becomes Aang's adopted big brother; the moment comes at the end of the initial arc of Avatar, where the gang is finally assembled and heading off for adventure:

Listening to the two talk, Xander was amazed at how quickly they jumped onto the Avatar bandwagon and started making plans. Of course these plans were sidelined by Aang’s never ending quest for new and interesting things to ride, but hopefully they would be able to save the world somewhere in between them. It felt almost like the old gang, saving the world between school and dancing; Aang the prophesied hero, Katara the super brain always willing to discover something new, Sokka the easy going normal one and Himself the…

As one the group of young teens looked back at Xander’s anguished howl of despair, at the fact that he had become the Giles. When had that happened?

And from an older fic, chapter 6 of Chilord's http://www.tthfanfic.org/Story-23055-1/ ... rouble.htm]A Fine Spot of Trouble:

Everyone stared at the man for a moment, then another before as one their faces blossomed through a variety of different reactions. It was Andromeda, with her brow arched upwards almost imperiously that spoke first however. “You've been sober only a day and suddenly, you want to get a job?”

“No, not really.” Harry waved his hand slightly as he couldn't help but smirk the slightest of bits. “Mainly I want to watch Draco try to get a job, while I sabotage him in subtle, humorous little ways that slowly drive him absolutely bonkers.”

“Potter, I brought you of all people to live with my family, in my home.” Draco let those words settle into the man's mind before smirking just a bit. “I think that proves I'm already absolutely bonkers.”

-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[robkelk]

This is what I get for not keeping up with Shadowjack's watching Sailor Moon - he watched http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?578 ... st14105087]episode 102 days ago...

Rei: "¿Have we sunk so low that the villains won't even respect our entrances? This sucks."
Makoto: "Look on the bright side: She waited for us. At least she's trying to make us feel included."
Rei: "Oh, thank you, I really wanted to have Kaolinite's pity."

Usagi: "Isn't it convenient that you just happened to be driving by on your way to Tokyo Tower when I desperately needed a lift to the same place?"
Haruka: /smiles insincerely. "Just passing by."
Usagi: "I won't ask questions if you won't."
Michiru: /fidgets uncomfortably.

Kaolinite (via P.A.): "Welcome, Usagi Tsukino. Come, ride the elevator to Heaven. Where you will DIE. DIE. DIE. Heh heh heh."
Usagi: /mutters. "Always nice when they make it easy to dislike them."
Usagi: "Hey! I wonder if that's how they feel about my speeches?"

It's Sailor Venus, with an uncannily accurate "Sailor Moon" disguise so long as she doesn't smirk and you never paid close attention to the details.

Sailor !Moon: /smirks.

Bombs go off all over the Tower, shattering supports and rocking beams.

Makoto: "I just now felt as if millions of television viewers cried out and were suddenly silenced."
Ami: /deadpan. "Well, good. Maybe they'll have more time to study."

Mamoru: "…Are we interrupting something?"

Kaolinite looks up from where she has Sailors Uranus and Neptune in her tentacle locks. Uranus is bleeding.

Kaolinite: "…No?"

Kaolinite: "I'd have to be an idiot to fall for a solo chal—"
Kaolinite: "Oo! Shiny!" /picks up sword.
Kaolinite: "…What was I saying?"
Mamoru: "That you were going to duel me to the death."
Kaolinite: "Yes, of course! EN GARDE!"

Minako: "Light!"
Rei: "¡Fire!"
Makoto: "Thunder!"
Ami: "Water!"
Usagi: "Heart!"
All: "GO PLANET!"

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Black Aeronaut]

GLaDOS meets Pinky Pie, from Better Living Through Science and Ponies.

Test Subject #306 - Test Chamber 12

“WEEEEE!!!!”
Pinkie Pie said almost constantly, managing to breathe in her nose and
out her mouth at the same time. The pink pony was falling from the
ceiling to floor in an endless loop, dropping in a free fall and loving
every moment.

“Test Subject #306 you have been in free fall for the past ten minutes. Is your twin portal device malfunctioning?”

“Nope!” Pinkie Pie replied.

“Then you are falling endlessly... on purpose?”

“Oh yeah, this is so much fun! The world keeps going by with a whoosh... whoosh... whoosh... WHOOSH!”

There was silence for a moment before the voice from the walls replied. “Making
note on test subject’s personal records. Confirming original suspicions
from preliminary brain scans. Subject # 306 is... random... and
possibly brain damaged.”

“Oh...
brain scans? Does that mean you can read my thoughts?” Pinkie Pie
chirped, popping a portal on the wall so her endless free fall would
end, the pink pony landing with a big grin on her face.

“Yes, mid-test brain scans allow me to analyze the at-the-moment thought processes of the pony brain.”

“Hey, what am I thinking about right now?

“Cupcakes.”

“Oh, how about now?”

“Balloons.”

“One more time.”

“Pie.”

“Wow...
that is so cool! That’ll be a great party trick. You should come to one
of my parties. We always have the best balloons and streamers... oh,
and we we always have so much wonderful cake and pies and other
wonderfully sugary treats.”

“You do like to eat a lot of desserts, don’t you?”

“Oh yea, they’re my favorite thing to eat in the whole widey wide world.”

“Here’s
a fun fact: excessive consumption of sugar has been lead to cause
obesity, high blood pressure, elevated blood triglycerides, cavities,
and diabetes. So... I hope you enjoy those sweets while you can...
because with your consumption rate I’m sure diabetes is right around the
corner.”

Pinkie Pie titled her head, raising an eyebrow. “What’s diabetes? Is that a kind of cake?”

“......... Making another note on Test Subject #306’s personal record. Test Subject is... special.”

“You bet I am.”

“Very... special... and not in a good way.”

“How can being special not be a good thing?”

*Has seizures from laughing.*

[Sweno]

that is a wonderful fic that took the "if the laws of reality line have changed..." line from Portal 2 and ran with it.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[Norgarth]

This bit is from 'The Tuloriad' by John Ringo and Tom Kratman,  part of Ringo's Posleen series.  About half the book is from the perspective of a roup of Posleen who have escaped Earth after getting their asses kicked by Humans.  Landing on a planet, an initial landing force immediately deploys into a defensive formation as ... nothing happens.

"That's it?  Nothing else?" Essthree asked rhetorically.
"I think you've grown paranoid from dealing with the humans," Esstwo answered.
"It's impossible to be paranoid when dealing with the humans," Essthree countered.  His voice grew contemplative as his head cocked to one side.  "Somehow, your wildest imaginings of doom never quite equal the reality."

___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin

[RomanFanboy]

Actually, it is a case of Tom Kratman writing 'Watch on the Rhine', 'Yellow Eyes', and 'The Tuloriad' in John Ringo's setting, and John Ringo approving. (IIRC, John Ringo wrote a sentence which went into the afterword of Yellow Eyes.)

"You really ought to give him a chance, though," Boyd said. "Guano's all right. Especially since he gave up snorting VX."

-The Tuloriad

Another funny bit of Tuloriad is when you finish, and start thinking about how many different types of stories have been told. There is one there that is actually a fairly classic and well done version of its type, that one would not at all expect to find just on opening the book.

[robkelk]

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?578 ... st14194598]And Shadowjack's watched episode 103...

Kaolinite is still in the opening credits. IS SHE REALLY DEAD?!

Haruka: /stomp stomp. "Yep, looks like."
Michiru: /smiles.

(Yeah, yeah... but he hasn't seen that far ahead yet.)

Ami: "You see, this one doesn't count, because I'm operating under the assumption that responsible Rei had a very good reason for cancelling today's study session."

Precisely on cue, Rei speeds past them on a bicycle, crashes through a few signs, and staggers moaning into a nearby café.

Usagi: "Who said it was a date?"
Mina: "Around us? These days? It seems a safe assumption to make. Consider Haruka."
Usagi: "Not every time a girl dresses herself up and gets in a big hurry to meet a person at a corner table in a nice café and is all blushing and nervous that she's made the other wait and… and… and… and the other girl's too old for her anyway, so there."
Mina: "Consider Haruka."

Eudial (via P.A.): "Calling Miss Maya Tohno. If you are here, please show yourself. Miss Maya Tohno."

Enter Miss Tohno, from within the building.

Miss Tohno: ?
Eudial: "Son of a bitch, it actually worked!"

Usagi and Rei: "Oh Tuxedo MAAAAAAASK—"
A Mysterious and High-Pitched Voice: "HALT IN THE NAME OF THE MOON!"
Usagi: "…Aw, hell no!"

Usagi: "Seriously, does your mom know you're here?"
Chibi-Usa: /looks at Usagi. "…Yes."
Usagi: "That's NOT what I meant and you know it!"

Because, let's face it, Mad SCIENCE! is as much about theatrical display as it is about the joy of pure research.

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Jorlem]

From Big Human on Campus, chapter 11.

"This school has been infiltrated! Attacked! CORRUPTED! Within
these precious halls skulks one of the hated humans! Having snuck by
our presumably formidable defenses and possibly extensive precautionary
measures, he even now plots to destabilize and corrode our beloved
campus!"

Unless you give me immediate cause to apprehend you-"
"I'm a
human," Ranma said bluntly. "Like I said a thousand times! It's a crime,
right? You should be here to execute me, not Tsukune!"
One of the Enforcers in the back slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing.
Jin looked apologetic as he shrugged. "Without some kind of evidence..."
"I just confessed!" Ranma shouted, throwing his arms up.
"A confession from an unreliable source cannot be used to have someone arrested," Jin explained.
"Why am I unreliable?" Ranma demanded.
"Well,
for one thing, you're making outrageous claims like you being a human,"
Jin reasoned, "that's ridiculous. You're clearly unsound and any
testimony from you shall henceforth be disregarded."

Ranma's eyes narrowed. Taking out so many monsters, when he
had no idea what kind they were, would be tricky enough, but this lot
actually seemed organized and prepared for him.
"Compliance squad! Prepare for plan E! Begin anti-Saotome measures!" Jin shouted as he held up an arm.
Ranma
tensed. "Anti-Saotome" measures sounded fairly dangerous. He couldn't
keep a tremor of excited anticipation from racing through him, however,
at the thought of fighting more capable adversaries whom he could cut
loose against without restraint or interruption. Would they be
independent powerhouses like Moka or Chopper? Clumsy brutes like Saizo?
Or something new?
The Enforcers also tensed as they stepped back
from the doorway, some of them crouching while others fell to one knee
into a runner's starting pose. Each of them knew their role in the plan
unfolding before them, and each man, woman, and genderless freak of
nature was ready and eager to lay down their lives for the success of
their leader's chosen strategy.
Jin chopped his hand down. "FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!"

-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[robkelk]

So, "anti-Saotome measures" is just the Saotome Secret Technique?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Jorlem]

Well, if you can't beat 'em...
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber."  --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.

[robkelk]

Shadowjack discusses Ranma...

Genma's a traditional man with traditional values having to come to grips with that his son wears his hair long, dresses funny, and runs away from girls. Lord, he asks, where did he go wrong? Sure, he raised his son with an equal mixture of abuse, neglect, and foot-shuffling muttered admissions of vague affection, but that's how his father raised him, and didn't it make a MAN out of him?

Random Ranma Character Generator
Roll 1d8 three times.

They know…
1-4) Kung Fu
5) Superior Kung Fu
6) Weird Kung Fu
7) Perfectly ordinary and useful skill
8) Roll again, twice, combining results

They want to…
1-3) Kill
4-6) Marry
7) Train
8) Roll again, twice

Who they want to do it to:
1-3) Ranma
4-6) Akane
7) Other
8) Roll again, twice

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012