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And now for something completely different:
One day, Little Red Robin Hood was skipping through Sherwood Forest, taking to grandma a basket of goodies that had been stolen from the rich.
...
"My, what a big target you make, grandma!"
(Only reason this is a Should Not Be is because I've already telegraphed the story. Why bother writing any more of it?)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Quote:robkelk wrote: One day, Little Red Robin Hood was skipping through Sherwood Forest, taking to grandma a basket of goodies that had been stolen from the rich.
...
"My, what a big target you make, grandma!"
...is that Robin Hood, B.B. Hood, and LLRH put together? 'Cause if it isn't, you really need a bit more B.B. Hood.
If it *is*, on the other hand, add some Ruby Rose.
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.
I've been writing a bit.
The Wanderer
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"And now, Red Riding Hood, one notes,
Not only has two wolfskin coats,
But when she goes from place to place,
She has a pigskin travelling case."
Just to toss another option into the mix, since we're talking about dangerous versions of Little Red Riding Hood. (Since it's a mildly obscure reference, I'll note that this one is from Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes.)
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Due to an unfortunate para-dimensional cross-rip, young Naruto Uzumaki ends up in posession of a manga featuring a vaguely insectile-masked hero of Justice! Unfortunately, young!Naruto's reading skills aren't quite up to par, leading him to mis-read the title as "Ramen Rider." Which of course, to Naruto, makes perfect sense.
Madness ensues. Akatsuki never does figure out who That Masked Hero is, thanks to the Clark Kent effect. Sasuke has a bad case of hero worship/envy. Only two people can see through Ramen Rider's brilliant disguise (a mask worn along in place of his hite-ite, but still with the Orange Jumpsuit), but Hinata will never say anything, and no one believes Sakura (and quite frankly thinks she's a bit 'round the bend) any more than if she claimed Ramen Rider was really a giant chicken.
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Okay, Helen was over last night, and we were talking about Star Wars and we got a little silly, and the process came up with a CTSNB:
Babar Fett - The King of Bounty-Hunting Elephants
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Quote:Bob Schroeck wrote: Okay, Helen was over last night, and we were talking about Star Wars and we got a little silly, and the process came up with a CTSNB:
Babar Fett - The King of Bounty-Hunting Elephants
The new movie from Lucasfilm and A Band Apart: "Django Fett Unchained."
Ebony the Black Dragon
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Bluemage's recent fanfic gets a new collaborator. Jail Scaglietti takes up the piano. And scientific comedy genius is unleashed upon MidChilda.
The New Math, by Bluemage and Tom Lehrer.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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Digger and Gods of Arr Kelaan
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Quote:ECSNorway wrote: Bluemage's recent fanfic gets a new collaborator. Jail Scaglietti takes up the piano. And scientific comedy genius is unleashed upon MidChilda.
The New Math, by Bluemage and Tom Lehrer.
...so you're taking the song I named the fic for, and inserting it into the fic?
, I say. .
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Quattro plays the organ.
I -like- the idea of Scaglietti as a piano-playing musical smartass.
--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
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After the resignation of the host of {insert cooking show name here}, intrigue abounds in the selection of his replacement... in House of Carbs
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Ross Van Loan
Unregistered
Monty Python's The Meaning of Lifeforce !
Ainsworth: I'm afraid we've got a bit of a problem... you see one of our astronauts has...
Ainsworth:[sotto voice] Lost a leg. We think it's a Vampire!
Soldier: In Space?
Pakenham: Sh, sh sh...
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Monty Python's Life of BRIAN BLESSED
"Herod lives? DIVE, MY APOSTLES!"
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
Ross Van Loan
Unregistered
Ender's Fame : After saving Humanity, Ender wiggins to a jazzy beat. (shiver) If this sounds nuts, there was a Last Starfighter musical. (shiver) I listened to some of it on Youtube : really wished I hadn't!
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Log Horizon and Dwarf Fortress
How is that a should not be? That would be hilariously great!
-People may die, but ideas are forever. Je suis Charlie.
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With St. Patrick's Day being on a Monday this year, the "wearing of the green" has started early... which lead me to associate some green titles. Here's the worst:
Soylent Green Acres
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
Ross Van Loan
Unregistered
Attack of The Fried Green Slime Tomatoes : Lesbians fight off GM foods & ET invaders. Sounds like someone awarded the ghost of Russ Meyer the ID4 sequel !
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So this Englishman is visiting India, and one night that he's there the moon is full and beautiful and bright, and he decides to go for a brief walk. The next thing he knows, he's waking up in hospital -- he'd been attacked by something out in the gardens. It's not until a month later that witnesses see him turn into a Hindu wise man under the light of the full moon -- which is when he realizes that he's been struck with the Curse of the Loup-Guru.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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A young girl's uncle decides to be just a little bit subtle rather than going for straight up murdering her, and sends her to a boarding school in Japan... one where the rarely accepted human students are actually against the official school rules, and usually get discoved, killed, and often eaten within a few weeks. Of course, Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing is not so easy to kill...
Yes, it's a Rosario+Vampire cross, and the only reason it's here in Should Not Be is because I don't see any way to bring Alucard along, really. Maybe Walter finds out a bit more about the school and arranges for it, while remaining in England to try to keep an eye on Uncle Greedy Asshat and so on. Timelines would be jiggered so it's a decade or so still before the Cheddar attack where Seras is introduced. Mainly, I just want to have a steely eyed Integra say, "Allow me to demonstrate why monsters keep themselves hidden from humans," before opening giving a determinator whuppin' to one of the more assholish monsters.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Quote:ClassicDrogn wrote: and the only reason it's here in Should Not Be is because I don't see any way to bring Alucard along
"Did you know that you have vacation days?"
"I have vacation days? You mean I can go anywhere I want, and not get yelled at over the phone?"
"Quite."
"Well that settles it! I'm going traveling!"
"Yes, you can go anywhere you wish. Except for Japan. Sir Integra was quite insistent that you never visit her in Japan."
Now it's a CWSB.
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"You can only join the Discordians if you know about them... but if you know about them and you aren't a member, they won't let you join."
Catch-23
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
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Quote:"You can only join the Discordians if you know about them... but if you
know about them and you aren't a member, they won't let you join."Catch-23
Too easy to get around. I declare myself a member of all clubs I do not know about, and plan to join them at a later date.
When the stars align, there will be born a pony bearing the cutie mark of the Yellow Sign.
-- ∇×V
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vorticity Wrote:Quote:"You can only join the Discordians if you know about them... but if you
know about them and you aren't a member, they won't let you join."
Catch-23
Too easy to get around. I declare myself a member of all clubs I do not know about, and plan to join them at a later date.
... Aw, you've gone and spoiled the ending...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Bazette Fraga McRemitz was, quite frankly, bewildered. First, her Servant had turned out to be British, and what could she have done to deserve that? Then said Servant had nearly skewered the priest who she had thought to be her ally (or at least neutral), as said priest was in the process of attempting to relieve her of arm, Command Seals, and oh yes, life, before leaving the Brathadóir alive and spiriting her off to her safe house (and how had he known where it was, anyway?).
And now she found herself unable to keep her eyes off him, as he puttered about her tiny flat, examining the tiny collection of keepsakes she permitted herself on the road. Or rather, if she was honest with herself, off the way his strangely modern green-and-black bodysuit molded itself to his lean, athletic, youthful frame (hey, couldn't blame a lonely girl for looking). The armored bits didn't detract at all from the overall picture. Although she found herself rather at a loss to explain the strange, two-tined lance he carried propped casually over one shoulder like a cricket bat.
"Who are ye, anyway?" she demanded, trying to regain some feeling of control.
"An old friend," he said softly, turning to look at her with eyes that somehow touched her in places she would never have admitted to having. "We've met before, you know. In other lifetimes. I've been looking for you for some time. In fact," his expression turned wry, "I had to thrash Cuchullain about the Throne for a bloody month before he admitted I had the better claim. Not to mention being better suited to what's coming." His expression turned dark. "Things aren't what they seem. We're going to need allies to face what's coming -- that's one reason I didn't kill that bastard. We can't afford to face his allies, yet."
She stared at him, baffled. "Ye're nae makin' a lick o'sense, boyo! Just my luck, to be havin' the Servant with a screw loose in 'is noggin!"
He actually looked nostalgic at that. "Don't worry, it'll all make sense soon. As long as you trust me." A blink, and he was standing far too close to her, and he was cupping her face with one hand (don't let him feel how hot I'm blushing), and then there was nothing in the universe but his sharp blue eyes, and his voice reciting
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh. I have been called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
So... Yeah. DJ Croft as Lancer. "Lancer is suffering"? Hah! Just wait till he pulls out his "Prime" Noble Phantasm....
(And, yes -- Bazaette is Asuka's reincarnation. No, don't examine this too closely).
Oh, yeah, the Gilgamesh thing. I figure the Eternal Soldier has prior claim -- Goldenrod is just a pale reflection born out of garbled legends, a bit like the 5th war's Assassin. DJ's going to stomp Gilly for sullying his reputation....
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