Michael Bay's Big Bot Bash

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

Damn.
I mean, I went into the theater expecting crap. I just wanted to hear Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime; figured, no matter how badly Bay screws it up, there'll still be Pete's incomparable Texas twang for the first time in twenty years. The hero of my youth, none of the succeeding Prime voice actors could compare.
I wasn't expecting a pretty darn decent action movie to go with it, but that's what I got. Alien invasion, military mayhem, an excellent portrayal of President Bush, the problems with having a black-book government agency that's so secret they can't actually exert half the authority they believe they can, and oh yes, Megan Fox, who registers something like one million Scoville Heat Units and made me forget what Eliza Dushku looks like.
As expected, the movie concentrates on the human characters -- Optimus and his homies get a fair amount of dialogue, but the script belongs to Shia LeBoeuf, Megan, and the rest. I was disappointed at the total short-changing of the Decepticons; they get hardly any lines or characterization. In the good old days, the banter between Frank Welker as the supremely confident Megatron and Chris Latta as his snarky, reflexively traitorous second-in-command Starscream could carry whole episodes; Hugo Weaving and Charlie Adler have maybe two brief exchanges. Prime and Megatron likewise theoretically share a complex backstory, having once been co-rulers of their world, but this too is pared down to a bare minimum of their standard exchanges (one shall stand, you know the drill) and a set of last words that hint at what could have been.
Given, however, that Shia, Megan, and Peter have all signed on for two sequels, I look at this movie as the equivalent of the first Fantastic Four: now that the characters have been established, future pics can devote more time to plot. I hope.
--Sam
"Are you Username Ladiesman217?!"

[WengFook]

Two more sequels? :O we demand proof :O
_______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja magic-carpet airstrikes at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Evil Midnight Lurker]

There's this and this, as far as proof goes...
--Sam
"My car is trying to kill me!"

[WengFook]

Niiiice. Thanks EML that has made my day _______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja magic-carpet airstrikes at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Kokuten]

Seeing it tomorrow night, excited and nervous.Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[M Fnord]

Having seen it, I can say without a doubt that Transformers is Michael Bay's best movie. Whether that's good or bad is up to you to figure out.
The good:
1) Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime. 'Nuff said.
2) Bumblebee. For most of the first & second reels he's the only Transformer we have any serious interaction with, and for almost all of that he doesn't have any lines. Despite this, he comes off as a pretty cool character.
3) The action sequences. Particularly Starscream vs. the USAF. It's like half dogfight, half Parkour run. Seriously badass.
4) Frenzy. For a spindly little cybernetic maniac, he's actually better comic relief than the human comic relief (see below).
5) Did I mention Peter Cullen? Right then.
6) The score. Steve Jablonsky finds all the right buttons and smashes 'em with big fucking hammers. Combined with the right visuals, the effect is brilliant.
The bad:
1) Insufficient giant robotage. I understand that the human element is important, and it works well enough for the first reel, but eventually you want to get away from the human cast & back to more Cybertronian mayhem.
2) The action sequences. Like I said above, there's some brilliant action pieces. The problem is, Michael Bay's so addicted to shakycam that you can barely see half the fights.
3) The "comic relief." Way too much and not nearly funny enough.
4) Megatron. Don't get me wrong, the design worked better on screen than in the stills, and Hugo Weaving did a good job on the voice, but there just wasn't enough of him. Pity, really.
5) Remember that brilliant score I mentioned? Well, apparently Dreamworks decided to release a "from and inspired by" soundtrack that didn't have a single track from that score on it. I am well vexed.
(Incidentally, that "soundtrack"? Isn't worth it. Only four of the tracks are actually any good, and one of 'em is Linkin Park. That shit just ain't right.)
So, to sum up: Giant robots kick ass, should've kicked more, hopefully they will in the sequel. Moderately Recommended.---
Mr. Fnord
http://fnord.sandwich.net/
http://www.jihad.net/
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"

[Kokuten]

seconded on all counts - sequel is required.Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[Herr Bad Moon]

Seconded. It freaking owned. Right before it started the guy behind me said to the theater "I apologize in advance to everybody, but I expect throughout the movie you'll hear me screaming 'Holy shit!'" Safe to say, he wasn't the only one.---------------
-Jon
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
The population density of Wyoming is very low, but that doesn't mean the people there aren't also out to kill you.
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[Foxboy]

So worth the admission and the $19.95 when it comes out on DVD.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[classicdrogn]

it today, having decided I just didn't want to deal with holiday/premiere crods and trffic; at the matinee there were a bare half dozen of us in the theatre, and I liked it enough to stay and watch s second showing at full price (just $8, but still). I still hate the overdone character designs, and they have the volume up so high that I'll be deaf for a day or two (seriously - that's the main reason the last movie I went to a theater for was SW EpII) but otherwise it's pretty good, as noted, and the second viewing let me look for more details that zipped by the first time.
Frex, the classic transformation sound - I only caught it in the very first, desert attack, the little guy in the box, and Prime at the very end, the first time. Second tije, I could make it out mixed with the mechanical noises every time except most of Bumblebee's and the last time Blackout transforms.
The mere fact that I've decided to accord the name of Optimus Prime to the character rather than some variation on Convoy speaks on its own for Peter Cullen's voice acting, and what little Jazz we got (esp. the breakdance transformations - I'm pretty sure he did somthing like that in the G1 cartoon, in fact) also did justice to him. I still say they never should have used the name Jazz when Scatman Carruthers isn't around to do the voice, and that car would better suit Bluestreak anyway - I'll be painting the hood and roof black on mine to suit.
I have to say the epilogue (the wreckage bit) kind of broke suspension of disbelief for me - Who in theirnright mind would do that? - but the sequel info makes it more clear.
I give it 7/10, on par with the better G1 eps.
- ClassicDrogn
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Logan Darklighter]

---

I just wanted to hear Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime; figured, no matter how badly Bay screws it up, there'll still be Pete's incomparable Texas twang for the first time in twenty years. The hero of my youth, none of the succeeding Prime voice actors could compare.

---

When I first heard that voice in the opening, it sent shivers down my spine. When we SEE him for the first time and he speaks... The combination of seeing him scan the passing truck, modify himself, letting us KNOW who it is, then seeing him pull up, transform, and have the classic Optimus Prime voice... The entire THEATER erupted in spontaneous applause and cheers, not just me!!

---

I wasn't expecting a pretty darn decent action movie to go with it, but that's what I got. Alien invasion, military mayhem, an excellent portrayal of President Bush, the problems with having a black-book government agency that's so secret they can't actually exert half the authority they believe they can, and oh yes, Megan Fox, who registers something like one million Scoville Heat Units and made me forget what Eliza Dushku looks like.

---

I was thinking this movie was gonna suck all the way until I saw a trailer that actually showed some transformation footage. Even then, though I realized the effects were going to be top-notch, I still had my doubts. Then word of mouth started filtering back and I was hearing nothing but good things. So I went with high hopes but middling expectations... And I was blown away. I agree with everything you say above with some additional comments -
Like every Hollywood portrayal that attempts to portray the President these days, they caricaturize him as a bumpkin and a buffoon. Or a drunken frat boy. Michael Bay had the actor do a badly overdone Texas accent and had him order ding dongs. As such shots across the bow go, it was relatively mild, and the scene was mercifully brief, moving on to focus on the secret service staff. Who the director actually treated with some respect. They didn't do stupid things. They just had no frame of reference to know what they were dealing with. And even then, they had the presence of mind to just _pull the damn plug_ when they couldn't stop Frenzy's downloading any other way.
Speaking of treating people with respect, the US military comes off surprisingly well in this movie. True, they are outclassed and out gunned, but they don't give up, they adapt, get intel, and find what will work. Even though they get blown up a lot, they contribute to the fight in a meaningful way. And how they deal with Scorponok just had me cheering! A-10 Warthogs for the WIN, BABY!!!
Even the asshat from Section 7 turned out to have some use in the end, though I still wanted to punch him.
Megan Fox - oh my... Hot chick who knows cars? Oh my, yes. (Oh, why must you taunt us geeks, so? ^_^

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In the good old days, the banter between Frank Welker as the supremely confident Megatron and Chris Latta as his snarky, reflexively traitorous second-in-command Starscream could carry whole episodes; Hugo Weaving and Charlie Adler have maybe two brief exchanges.

---

As I understand it, Frank Welker was auditioned for the part, but his voice had aged so much that he couldn't pull it off effectively anymore. And of course, Chris Latta has been dead for around 10 years or so. So they didn't have a choice, there. I thought Hugo Weaving was an inspired casting choice, though. And he did a damn fine job with what little he had to work with. I hope they find some way of bringing Megatron back for the 3rd film. NOT the second! Let's have some other main villain for the second film. But bringing him back for the 3rd would work.

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The score. Steve Jablonsky finds all the right buttons and smashes 'em with big fucking hammers. Combined with the right visuals, the effect is brilliant.

---

I second that! And I WANT that soundtrack!
To sum up - I'll just say what I said to my friend Glenn as soon as we got back to the car and I felt I could vent without looking a total fool.
"JUMPIN' JESUS JACKRABBIT CHRIST!!! That was AWESOME! That was a full platter of awesome with a side order of awesome and topped off with awesome sauce!!!"
-Logan
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"Wake up! Time for SCIENCE!"
-Adam Savage
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[Ebony]

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Speaking of treating people with respect, the US military comes off surprisingly well in this movie. True, they are outclassed and out gunned, but they don't give up, they adapt, get intel, and find what will work. Even though they get blown up a lot, they contribute to the fight in a meaningful way. And how they deal with Scorponok just had me cheering! A-10 Warthogs for the WIN, BABY!!!

---

I have a graphic of two 'Hogs flying in standard formation that I ganked from an LJ icon. The caption reads, "It's Clobberin' Time." Personally, the Ranger's call of "Bring the Heat!" works just as well. And the C-130 mounted with the 105mm cannon (which actually exists, and I cannot remember what it's called) is God's Hammer given form.

---

As I understand it, Frank Welker was auditioned for the part, but his voice had aged so much that he couldn't pull it off effectively anymore. And of course, Chris Latta has been dead for around 10 years or so. So they didn't have a choice, there. I thought Hugo Weaving was an inspired casting choice, though. And he did a damn fine job with what little he had to work with. I hope they find some way of bringing Megatron back for the 3rd film. NOT the second! Let's have some other main villain for the second film. But bringing him back for the 3rd would work.

---

Galvatron. Number two will be all about Galvatron.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[HoagieOfDoom]

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And the C-130 mounted with the 105mm cannon (which actually exists, and I cannot remember what it's called) is God's Hammer given form.

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I think it's called the Spectre, though I can't remember it's designation number.*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[Logan Darklighter]

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Quote:And the C-130 mounted with the 105mm cannon (which actually exists, and I cannot remember what it's called) is God's Hammer given form.

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I think it's called the Spectre, though I can't remember it's designation number.

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Oh good catch there! I can't believe I almost forgot about the Gunship!
For the record, that's the AC-130H Spectre. It's the descendant of Puff, the Magic Dragon. That ALSO explains the "Bring the Fire!" quote. Because Spectres are occasionally still unofficially called "Dragons".
(Edit - And oh yeah, the Spectre does indeed count, among it's many armaments, a FREAKING HOWITZER!!!)
And I was just reminded of one more bit about the movie I loved - how cool and appropriate was it that the survivors of the Qatar Base attack were the ones who finished off Blackout (helicopter Decepticon) in the final battle?
-Logan
-----------------
"Wake up! Time for SCIENCE!"
-Adam Savage
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[Kokuten]

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That ALSO explains the "Bring the Fire!" quote.

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But what explains the 'bring the rain' quotes?

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how cool and appropriate was it that the survivors of the Qatar Base attack were the ones who finished off Blackout (helicopter Decepticon) in the final battle?

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VERY. I also like homeboy's reaction to his attack method, the whole, "throw yourself off a moving bike and slide under this giant freaking robot's legs" attack. I find "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" to be a _very_ appropo reactiong..
-K, giggling.Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[Ebony]

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For the record, that's the AC-130H Spectre. It's the descendant of Puff, the Magic Dragon. That ALSO explains the "Bring the Fire!" quote. Because Spectres are occasionally still unofficially called "Dragons".

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Actually, it was "Bring the Heat" for the A-10s and "Call down the rain." for the Spectre. "Bring the Heat" makes a lot of sense, since they were probably referring to High Explosive Anti-Tank (or HEAT) warheads, which the 'Hogs and 'Bolts carry, being the ugly, brutal, and glorious tank busters that they are. Maybe it's a reference to a "rain of fire" (i.e., Armageddon)? Or it could be a scriptwriter coming up with something cool.Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Rev Dark]

Okay, My Lovely Wife and I saw Transformers last night, so here goes the review.
I shall start with the director. I think that Michael Bay is a smashing director his music videos are uniformly excellent, well paced and managing to convey complex stories on abbreviated scales. He is a smashing director of music videos. When it comes to films, Michael Bay is a smashing director in a different way I keep wanting to smash him in the teeth; while shouting stop shaking the camera and insulting our intelligence you infantile twat! Michael Bay is one of the directors that I characterize as lacking confidence. They dont have faith in their skills, so they go overboard with everything and hope that no one notices that they really dont have an eye for framing scenes or carrying off complex, nuanced, structure. They never do something subtly when they can do it large and loud. Chris Columbus is another such director.
Transformers is every inch the summer movie. Loud enough to get Beethoven to go I sodding heard that and dumb enough to engage in a debate on the works of Proust with Paris Hilton and lose. Get your popcorn, rip your brain out and float it in a refreshing beverage and enjoy. No Aerosmith though, thank your favorite imaginary friend for that.
I saw the original Transformers when they debuted caught the first movie on the big screen and was nostalgic enough about the mythos of it to be looking forward to a big screen blow out. While the special effects are top notch and the military hardware porn should have even the most devout pacifist popping a pants patriot missile; I found that there was very little to draw you into the drama of the battles. While you can cheer for the human heroes as you have spent half the film growing attached to them the hot robot on robot action was cold. The overly complex designs and hyper-kinetic direction made it difficult to see who was doing what to whom and how. Given that there is no solid emotional connection between the protagonists and villains (other than what you bring with you to the cinema), it makes the conflicts even flatter. I found myself far more connected to Bumblebee as the car than as the robot. The car emoted better. Likewise the whole cube McGuffin felt forced, especially as the means to put down Megatron (while paving the way for a sequel) it gives a convenient rabbit to chase, which is the kindest thing that can be said about it.
The comic relief in the film is good; and remarkable restrained for Bay (Except for Frenzy(?) The little hyperkinetic robot) and the nucking futs Intelligence Agent was a lot of fun in an out-of-his-tiny-little-mind way. Likewise the car dealer worked very well and was not over-used to the point of physical pain on the part of the audience.
Annoyances. Giant robot slapstick and urination. The hiding around the house scene was dragged out far too long and the very successful charm it engendered early on was flushed away.
Bigger Annoyances: The hackers subplot. Other than giving us another hot chick, and Anthony Anderson doing his Anthony Anderson thing, this whole group could have been happily excised they add very little to the substance of the film, while simultaneously dropping a load of dumb on the audience.
Biggest Annoyance: Blind humans. Frenzy hipping and hopping on the tarmac beside Air Force One, and other such egregious examples, demonstrating that the vast majority of humans of the film have had their visual cortex superseded by the twin forces of barely aware of sound and light and Big Bird.
And despite all of this, I enjoyed it.