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All I learned about medicine, I learned from anime
02-08-2009, 02:24 AM
There's a thread over on Usenet about common medical myths in anime - I though folks here might have some suggestions to offer, too.
(Note that these are medical myths, not medical facts.)
Here's what we've got so far, from "Nick", Chris Mattern, Gerardo Campos, and myself, not necessarily in that order:
0. Your blood type determines your personality.
1. Skipping a single meal can cause anemia in an otherwise healthy individual.
2. Doctors can give you a shot to cure a cold or the flu.
3. Getting soaked in the rain will give you a cold. Not just sometimes. 100% guaranteed.
4. You can cure a cold by giving it to another person; a kiss is one common way of transferring the illness.
5. You are in a hospital, after receiving a brutal beating that leaves you covered in bandages. But next day/episode you will be fine. (No scars, no consecuences, no therapy)
6. A blow to the head, even if it's strong enoug to draw blood, never causes a concussion.
--
Rob Kelk
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them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
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7. The human body contains fifty gallons of blood, under high pressure.
8. Nosebleeds are caused by sudden attacks of lust.
9. Pressure points can do anything.
--Sam
"You are already dead."
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10. If a blow to the head causes amnesia or a personality change, another blow will reverse the effect.
11. Average breast size for a woman is 44DD and usually comes with their own antigravity field. 8P
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12. The human body is proportionally stronger than any known material when impacting a solid object (Walls, buildings, etc.): Said object will usually be
immensely damaged or destroyed in collision; whereas the person will have, at worst, a few scratches.
---
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13: All terminal illnesses and injuries will have the following effects: a: You will grow pale but cute b: you will occasionally suffer fainting spells c: you
will occasionally cough (coughing blood is optional) and d: you will be required to stay in bed more than normal, forlornly looking out windows.
14: All terminal illnesses and injuries can be cured by an expensive operation that is just outside your families budget (if your family is rich, you will
require a proportionally more expensive treatment than a poor person with the same illness).
15: Once you acquire a terminal illness or disease you will remain in the stages noted in rule 13 for years. Your symptoms will never worsen or go into
remission untiled you are a: cured or b: die (this may be preceded by a fainting spell or coughing fit then being rushed to the hospital where you will remain
on life support for at most a few days) . The same treatment that could cure you when first diagnosed will still save you even if applied five seconds before
you kick the big one.
16: Terminal illnesses and injuries are never named.
-----------------------
Epsilon
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15a: Terminal illness can also be cured through the judicious application of hot sex. (Note: applies to H-anime only)
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15b: Occasionally, diagnosing a terminal illness will cause the symptoms to crank up to 11 within 24 hours
16: Defibrillators are the perfect tool for restarting a beating heart.
17: If a former romantic interest has been in a coma, expect them to wake up the minute you've finally moved on to someone else.
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Two more from Usenet, by Gerardo Campos and "Captain Nerd", respectively (re-numbered from their list, and allowing for the duplicate use of #16
here):
19. The more tougher you are, the more afraid you are of hypodermic needles
19a. Corollary: You are so easily distracted, that eventually you do not feel them while you are injected.
20. It's possible to be allergic to members of the opposite sex to the point where being touched by one will cause immediate hives. This reaction can be
delayed if the person touching them is cross-dressed and the allergic person is unaware of this.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
21. Bandages are merely another form of hospital clothing which gets stained red at suitably dramatic moments.
22. Bandages for head injuries are purely ornamental and unfurl to stream dramatically in the wind.
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23. No matter how serious or crippling your injuries are supposed to be, you can overcome them to win a final climatic battle.
23a. You may die. But you WILL win.
23b. In fact, the threat a combatant poses is probably directly related to their apparent health. Or lack thereof. Always fear the guy in bloody bandages.
24. Tuberculosis makes a swordsman more dangerous.
-- Acyl
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23. Wounds to the legs only impair movement for a short period of time. Wounds to the arms do not impair movement of that arm at all. Wounds to hands barely
impair use of that hand, unless the hand is removed completely.
24. System shock is overrated. Rub some dirt in it and walk it off, you pussy.
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25) Coughing is caused by people talking about you.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
I thought it was sneezing...
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It is sneezing.
Fixing the numbers again...
28. As shown in various anime "onsen episodes", the human female breast expands when exposed to sunlight, naturally-hot water, or both.
(Characters who are female but not human, such as Mahoro, do not benefit from this phenomonon.)
29. (from "S.t.A.n.L.e.E" on Usenet) While taking a bath, submerging your head underwater will always lead to a near-drowning experience. Apparently,
you lose all track of time when water encapsulates your head.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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