How not to upgrade a client's internet service - an exercise in the art of restrained letter writing
04-13-2015, 08:39 PM
04-13-2015, 08:39 PM
So recently I tried to upgrade my internet service (with the same provider) Here are the notes sent to their customer care department.
Thursday April 09Good Evening,
Well you should start out every message with a joke - that
was mine.
Frustrating evening.
Last week, mildly annoyed by slow
internet speeds, I cruised through the XXXXX site to see what options were
available for faster speeds - it turns out I was paying steak prices for
hamburger service and the 7mbs package triple bundle package I was paying a
total of 118.47 a month for (with all applicable taxes and bells and whistles)
was considerably more than I would by paying for the 50bms package. My own
fault for not checking more regularly and I promise to chastise myself at a more
convenient time.
So I contacted XXXX to arrange an upgrade. The first
few calls were a cavalcade of holds, dropped calls and confusion on all corners
- but at the end of the day a new package was arranged at a price I was happy
with. There was even a follow-up call to confirm some of the
details.
The I received my monthly invoice for a total of $149.83 - which
was a cavalcade of charges, services I had not asked for and made about as much
sense as a clown lodged in a Napoleonic cannon - without the inherent comedic
value.
Then I received confirmation that my new modem - which I opted to
purchase - had shipped (06-Apr-15) -Yay - with the following note attached.
"Please note that
all the original equipment must be returned in working condition, within 25 days of the date of this letter. A
missing equipment fee of $99.95 as well as late fees may be applied to your
account if items are missing or not returned by the date
requested."
Given that I purchased my current modem, this is what
is commonly referred to as incorrect.
So tonight I spent the better part
of an hour getting this sorted out - the billing - if approved by the chain of
command your staff has to go through - should be cleared up. Only time will
tell.
I want this note as a record that your staff did confirm that I
purchased my current modem (and the new one) and I am under no obligation to return
it - and that I will not be charged a $99.95 missing equipment fee (It is right
here where it is supposed to be) nor any late charges (the modem, unlike the
Norweigan Blue Parrot is not late and is still capable of the occasional Voom -
20,000 volts notwithstanding).
On the plus side, it has been confirmed
that your technician will be on site between 08:00am and 12:00 on 11-Apr-15 to
complete the journey from 7MBS to 50MBS - and I am clinging to the beautiful
dream of hope over experience that everything will go smoothly.
Thank you
for you attention to these matters,Shayne Dark
Saturday April 11Good
Evening,
Once again,
no. No it is not.
When I wrote
of the triumph of hope over experience, I did so with the best of intentions.
Little did I know that my expectations should have been set at the level of the
Toronto Maple Leafs hoisting the Stanley Cup in victory or Elisabeth Taylor
entering into a long term marriage. That is to say - no hope
whatsoever.
Today
11-Apr-15 I was supposed to be visited between the hours of 8:00 and 12:00 by a
XXXX Employee to complete the upgrade of my high speed connection. They did
not show. Nor did I receive a courtesy call or even a hastily blown raspberry
about them abandoning me at the altar of high speed - though I suppose the
raspberry was implied.
After waiting
until 1:00pm, I placed a call to XXXXTechnical support to see what was going
on. After approximately 50 minutes on hold, I reached tech support, who could
only tell me what amounted to 'we don't know and can't tell you.' Customer
service was not particularly helpful either, and the manager I pushed on to,
knew a little more about process, but all responses basically came out to 'wait
24-48 (from start of business Monday) hours for a call' - with the potentially
dangling carrot that the XXXX Employee, the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause might
show up by 5:00pm to complete the upgrade, drop off presents, or demonstrate a
biological atavism for a mammal and produce eggs (had it been the Easter
platypus or Easter spiny echidna I would have not gone so long on the odds on
the last one.)
Now, even
after every other challenge, mistake, error and other frustration this upgrade
has caused, I would be willing to be somewhat more patient and perhaps more
stoic in the face of what is admittedly a very minor
adversity.
But in not
upgrading my internet service, my current internet service was also taken
offline.
So rather
than cruising at a cool 50 or even puttering around at a slow but functional 7 -
I have no internet service whatsoever; and no explanation save 'wait 24-48 (from
start of business Monday) hours for a call.'
So to sum
up.
1.) Initial
order to upgrade muddled up. (corrected)
2.) April
Invoice muddled up (see #1 above) - should be corrected; but I am still awaiting
confirmation and documentation of correction
3.) Request
to return modem muddled up. Again, this should be corrected now. Time will
tell.
4.) Upgrade
of high speed connected from 7mbs to 50mbs - Muddled up, with loss of the
original connection, and no indication as to when connectivity at either speed
will be restored.
Four for
four.
Can you
please have someone contact me via phone in regards to this. I can be reached
during the weekends or evenings at XXXXX or during weekdays at
XXXXX.
Thank you for
your attention to these matters,
Shayne
Dark
Sunday, April 12
Denouement.
So rather than wait for your call (24-48
hours) I went ahead and did some work on my own; this isn't exactly my first
rodeo.
First - XXXX ships modems with the default passwords set (even
without access to the internet, getting in was a matter of seconds.)
It
turns out everything was completed (not sure why I had to be home for this, as
access was not required - unless you have a magical installer who poofs from
place to place in a cloud of fairy dust and chimney soot).
Examination of
the modem diagnostics indicated that the DSL connection was established and the
only thing missing was the PPOE connection to XXXX. (Your DSL.XXXX.ca site
merely spun its wheels and quietly chewed paste in the corner when
contacted.)
So I called XXXX technical support and was able to get the
updated password and confirm the configuration. Bang. Service up and
running.
The question arises as to why no one on the XXXXX side could
figure this out yesterday.
I would like to extend enthusiastic kudos to
XXXX (ref#XXXXXX) who was able to answer the questions that I needed answered
in a succinct and informed manner.
Whatever you do, please take NO FURTHER ACTION in
regards to my connection - it is working, and speed tests indicate that I am
getting the appropriate speed.
So now to get billing straightened
out; and we're golden.
Cheers,Shayne Dark
I am almost afraid to go home tonight for fear that in the hours since I left the house they have somehow managed to fuck things up again.
Thursday April 09Good Evening,
Well you should start out every message with a joke - that
was mine.
Frustrating evening.
Last week, mildly annoyed by slow
internet speeds, I cruised through the XXXXX site to see what options were
available for faster speeds - it turns out I was paying steak prices for
hamburger service and the 7mbs package triple bundle package I was paying a
total of 118.47 a month for (with all applicable taxes and bells and whistles)
was considerably more than I would by paying for the 50bms package. My own
fault for not checking more regularly and I promise to chastise myself at a more
convenient time.
So I contacted XXXX to arrange an upgrade. The first
few calls were a cavalcade of holds, dropped calls and confusion on all corners
- but at the end of the day a new package was arranged at a price I was happy
with. There was even a follow-up call to confirm some of the
details.
The I received my monthly invoice for a total of $149.83 - which
was a cavalcade of charges, services I had not asked for and made about as much
sense as a clown lodged in a Napoleonic cannon - without the inherent comedic
value.
Then I received confirmation that my new modem - which I opted to
purchase - had shipped (06-Apr-15) -Yay - with the following note attached.
"Please note that
all the original equipment must be returned in working condition, within 25 days of the date of this letter. A
missing equipment fee of $99.95 as well as late fees may be applied to your
account if items are missing or not returned by the date
requested."
Given that I purchased my current modem, this is what
is commonly referred to as incorrect.
So tonight I spent the better part
of an hour getting this sorted out - the billing - if approved by the chain of
command your staff has to go through - should be cleared up. Only time will
tell.
I want this note as a record that your staff did confirm that I
purchased my current modem (and the new one) and I am under no obligation to return
it - and that I will not be charged a $99.95 missing equipment fee (It is right
here where it is supposed to be) nor any late charges (the modem, unlike the
Norweigan Blue Parrot is not late and is still capable of the occasional Voom -
20,000 volts notwithstanding).
On the plus side, it has been confirmed
that your technician will be on site between 08:00am and 12:00 on 11-Apr-15 to
complete the journey from 7MBS to 50MBS - and I am clinging to the beautiful
dream of hope over experience that everything will go smoothly.
Thank you
for you attention to these matters,Shayne Dark
Saturday April 11Good
Evening,
Once again,
no. No it is not.
When I wrote
of the triumph of hope over experience, I did so with the best of intentions.
Little did I know that my expectations should have been set at the level of the
Toronto Maple Leafs hoisting the Stanley Cup in victory or Elisabeth Taylor
entering into a long term marriage. That is to say - no hope
whatsoever.
Today
11-Apr-15 I was supposed to be visited between the hours of 8:00 and 12:00 by a
XXXX Employee to complete the upgrade of my high speed connection. They did
not show. Nor did I receive a courtesy call or even a hastily blown raspberry
about them abandoning me at the altar of high speed - though I suppose the
raspberry was implied.
After waiting
until 1:00pm, I placed a call to XXXXTechnical support to see what was going
on. After approximately 50 minutes on hold, I reached tech support, who could
only tell me what amounted to 'we don't know and can't tell you.' Customer
service was not particularly helpful either, and the manager I pushed on to,
knew a little more about process, but all responses basically came out to 'wait
24-48 (from start of business Monday) hours for a call' - with the potentially
dangling carrot that the XXXX Employee, the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause might
show up by 5:00pm to complete the upgrade, drop off presents, or demonstrate a
biological atavism for a mammal and produce eggs (had it been the Easter
platypus or Easter spiny echidna I would have not gone so long on the odds on
the last one.)
Now, even
after every other challenge, mistake, error and other frustration this upgrade
has caused, I would be willing to be somewhat more patient and perhaps more
stoic in the face of what is admittedly a very minor
adversity.
But in not
upgrading my internet service, my current internet service was also taken
offline.
So rather
than cruising at a cool 50 or even puttering around at a slow but functional 7 -
I have no internet service whatsoever; and no explanation save 'wait 24-48 (from
start of business Monday) hours for a call.'
So to sum
up.
1.) Initial
order to upgrade muddled up. (corrected)
2.) April
Invoice muddled up (see #1 above) - should be corrected; but I am still awaiting
confirmation and documentation of correction
3.) Request
to return modem muddled up. Again, this should be corrected now. Time will
tell.
4.) Upgrade
of high speed connected from 7mbs to 50mbs - Muddled up, with loss of the
original connection, and no indication as to when connectivity at either speed
will be restored.
Four for
four.
Can you
please have someone contact me via phone in regards to this. I can be reached
during the weekends or evenings at XXXXX or during weekdays at
XXXXX.
Thank you for
your attention to these matters,
Shayne
Dark
Sunday, April 12
Denouement.
So rather than wait for your call (24-48
hours) I went ahead and did some work on my own; this isn't exactly my first
rodeo.
First - XXXX ships modems with the default passwords set (even
without access to the internet, getting in was a matter of seconds.)
It
turns out everything was completed (not sure why I had to be home for this, as
access was not required - unless you have a magical installer who poofs from
place to place in a cloud of fairy dust and chimney soot).
Examination of
the modem diagnostics indicated that the DSL connection was established and the
only thing missing was the PPOE connection to XXXX. (Your DSL.XXXX.ca site
merely spun its wheels and quietly chewed paste in the corner when
contacted.)
So I called XXXX technical support and was able to get the
updated password and confirm the configuration. Bang. Service up and
running.
The question arises as to why no one on the XXXXX side could
figure this out yesterday.
I would like to extend enthusiastic kudos to
XXXX (ref#XXXXXX) who was able to answer the questions that I needed answered
in a succinct and informed manner.
Whatever you do, please take NO FURTHER ACTION in
regards to my connection - it is working, and speed tests indicate that I am
getting the appropriate speed.
So now to get billing straightened
out; and we're golden.
Cheers,Shayne Dark
I am almost afraid to go home tonight for fear that in the hours since I left the house they have somehow managed to fuck things up again.
