[OOC][PLOT] The Third Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals

[Rajvik]

I imagine the adult NERv crew as well as the majority of the Serenity crew will end up in a late night poker game over candy, limited to 5 card draw and Texas holdem. River could join Rei for the vegetarian setup, but that's about the only other one I can think of,

[Black Aeronaut]

Ah, I knew I was forgetting some characters!  In that case, Ben will make sure to have good vegetarian eats on-hand.

Also, Ayanami Rei very much enjoys being in the water, so along with Teletha, that's going to make for three 'Mermaids' at the poolside.  And Rei will probably play games of chess with Ami and Teletha as well.

There will be plenty of booze.  It being San Antonio, Ben will be able to get quite a selection of great local craft brews on hand.  (Stuff like Freetail Brewery whose logo is a freetail bat and a slogan of "Hang with a local" printed upside-down.)  He'll be sorely tempted to stop taking his meds for the 24 hours leading up to the event so he can enjoy drinking Angry Orchard.  ...Which would be a good explanation for his melancholic state of mind despite the festivities.

Ben's music collection will make up for a good bit of the party music, but he'll call in to Minako for an assist.  When 33-Stars isn't actively playing, expect EDM with a good shotgun scattering of 80's and 90's music suitable for dancing, and Minako's J-pop collection.  After-party music will probably consist of The Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, and piano arrangements of various other songs.

Sand card sounds like a great idea, and it's not like badminton can't be played on the sand either.

Feel free to indulge in the board games.  They're there for those of us that prefer quieter interactions.  And I imagine that Brent and Shinji can find things to talk about while playing Uno.

Though the Jenga table might get a little hectic when Ben attempts the infamous "Bottom Block Swipe" where, in the case of the bottom level having only one block supporting the tower, a particularly bold and daring player will 'swipe' the bottom-most block without toppling the tower. 

[Dartz]

Minor note, Rei and Nam share a VA - and a remarkably similar appearrance. This is long before she became known, mind.....


The Stars will travel the old-fashioned way - so they can work. It'll make the trip pay for itself - to some level - and increase chances of being noticed and actually moving up a fame rank. By the time this is a thing, the Stars have far more of their own stock to call on...

They'd probably start with their usual opening theme - a cover of the Terminator theme, but might try adjust to something more palatable to the children - (Songs with titles like 290897, or featuring uncomfortable themes like control and domination and resistance, might not be suitable for a teenaged audience) - they'll either take requests on the fly or try play some familiar opening themes.

As for who Meg's talking to - that strongly depends on who wants to ask the question....

[robkelk]

Ah, I knew I was forgetting some characters!  In that case, Ben will make sure to have good vegetarian eats on-hand.

Also, Ayanami Rei very much enjoys being in the water, so along with Teletha, that's going to make for three 'Mermaids' at the poolside.  And Rei will probably play games of chess with Ami and Teletha as well.

Insert joke about a "Rei, Ami, and Tessa clone tank" here.

There will be plenty of booze.  It being San Antonio, Ben will be able to get quite a selection of great local craft brews on hand.  (Stuff like Freetail Brewery whose logo is a freetail bat and a slogan of "Hang with a local" printed upside-down.)  He'll be sorely tempted to stop taking his meds for the 24 hours leading up to the event so he can enjoy drinking Angry Orchard.  ...Which would be a good explanation for his melancholic state of mind despite the festivities.

Friendly hint: Better stock up on the Angry Orchard.

(And a few low-alcohol-content "lite" beers, too. Rob won't stop Mii or the Senshi - other than Usagi - if they want to give one a try... and I suspect "bad girl" Makoto might already have a tolerance for alcohol, given it's available in vending machines in Japan. "Enjoying your apple juice?" "Apple juice. Yes. Yes, I am." I don't suppose there are any left? Ben and I both drink it.")

Ben's music collection will make up for a good bit of the party music, but he'll call in to Minako for an assist.  When 33-Stars isn't actively playing, expect EDM with a good shotgun scattering of 80's and 90's music suitable for dancing, and Minako's J-pop collection.  After-party music will probably consist of The Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, and piano arrangements of various other songs.

Minako will be happy to help, but if you want anything made since the mid-1990s, Ruiko's your go-to girl.

And Rei's attending dressed as Hatsune Miku. She'll have one song memorized to the point that she'd be willing to sing it in public.

Rob will be happy to share his Choro Club collection for the after-party - it's mostly Aria soundtracks, but some of their original works are in there too.

EDIT: Almost forgot - I own a good camera. (Bob's seen it.) Rob will bring it along, will respect the wishes of anybody who asks that they not be photographed, and will make the photos available to everybody in attendance the day after. Somebody else gets to look through the collection to pick out the good shots.

[Rajvik]

If the Stars are willing to play the music James is willing to sing, i tend to Billy Joel, Elton John, Prince, and various other 70's and since groups both rock and country.

[Labster]

We've got lots of singers here, really. In real life, my 85% of my brain is taken up by 103,000 songs, which is why I'm so forgetful. Athena, Brent, Sakaki, Alice, and Tomoyo are all excellent singers, probably in that order.

And Megu-chan is Nam's seiyuu? Wow, did not know that. She was probably still working as a nurse back then.

Also all of the girls from Aria drink wine, even Alice. This is considered normal in Italy, so I don't see why Neo Venezia would be any different.

[Black Aeronaut]

Okay then. We'll have Corny-kegs (5 gal/18 L) for several things... Angry Orchard, Freetail (Orignal, Bat Outta Helles, OktoberFiesta), Shiner Bock (Orignal, Dark Lager, Oktoberfest)...

For bottles only, Rose and Green Apple Angry Orchard, Shiner Bock TEXAS COLD FRONT Variety Packs (variety of sweet beers with FROST Dortmunder Style, Morello Dark Cherry, and Candied Pecan Porter), and Freetail's Bourbon Barrel Aged Local Coffee Stout (exactly what it sounds like - beer and coffee in a bourbon barrel).

I think Usagi will like Angry Orchard Rose, though we'll probably need to limit her to just one bottle. She might also like the Morello Dark Cherry and Candied Pecan Porter.

Although, if we want them to be able to REALLY enjoy this stuff, perhaps Washu can whip something up in her lab - a 'stomach bug' that plays nicely with others in the digestive track and feeds off the alcohol before it can hit a person too hard.

Thoughts?

[robkelk]

It would be quite the sight to see Usagi start the "Asian glow" (yes, she's in the one-third of East Asians who go red after one drink - we've seen it in the anime), then quickly go back to normal.

Now, am I mistaken, or are there only two set-piece scenes still unwritten for the Halloween party? (Sosuke and Mikoto sparring, and Akari's midnight chats.) We could still use a few - or a lot of - "random overheard things" snippets to bring in the Montreal and Pensacola crowds, of course, but the main story seems to me to be almost complete.

[Black Aeronaut]

Maybe. Lemme get back to you on that - NLT today, honestly.

In the meantime, I'll get the bit where Ben has his bit of interaction with Nanoha and Fate while Shiro and Momoko watch unknown to them...

[Black Aeronaut]

FUCK.

My damn computer decided to wake itself from Hibernation to reboot itself!!! FUCKING A.

And that caused me to lose the shit I was working on.

Until I figure out how to keep my computer from doing this shit automatically (because MS has changed up the entire setup since I've last had to do something like this), I'm putting a temporary hold on writing on my end.

Hopefully this won't take long to figure out.

As for the halloween party... Once I get this figured out, I'd like to go through the whole thing so I can add in my own incidental bits.

Oh, and we need to do the parts where people arrive and depart for the party.

[robkelk]

I just realized something.

We're going to be having a Christmas party as well, with more people than there are at the Halloween party. Many of those people have metahuman powers. And Christmas Eve is when we've already decided Hayate loses control of the Book of Darkness... Things are going to get ugly. For somebody.

But enough about the set-piece battle for the Christmas party.

With the number of people who are likely to attend, I suspect even Lord Phantomhive couldn't buy gifts for everyone... so let's put everybody's name in a hat and do a gift exchange. Here's the hat. (Yes, this means somebody's going to have to figure out what gift to buy for Belldandy... and somebody else is going to have to figure out what gift to buy for Accelerator.)

[Black Aeronaut]

Okay.

I got this bit written out now.  It's different from what I had before, but it works better.

Now, thing is?  What happens here WORKS.  And there's a reason why it does.

There are a lot of times I consider myself misfortunate.

Not this time.

I stumbled over this video clip, practically by sheer chance.  I had the funny idea of Momoko paraphrasing this guy here, and while I was looking for the source, I also found this.  And it perfectly encapsulates my character's struggle, and why he bonds so readily with these other characters.

Because the one thing all Big Damn Heroes have in common?

Every one of them hurts in some way that is almost unbearably painful.



It's very good to know, and it's exactly what I was getting at with the relationship that Benjamin and Fate would share - something that they can have an incredibly powerful bond over.  It wouldn't be the same kind of bond Nanoha has with Fate... that's a bit different.  But it wouldn't diminish it, either, and would reinforce the developing bond between Benjamin and Nanoha.

Benjamin sighed as he watched the party from one of the unoccupied tables in the courtyard.
It weighed on him, but in a good way.  There was just his monumental feeling that comes of one seeing his actions come to fruition in such a huge way - that despite the efforts everyone else put into is, he was responsible for all this.

And really, it was a resounding success.  Everyone was mingling outside of their usual circles.  Granted, he and Rob had to get the ball rolling, introducing people to each other and encouraging them all to socialize.

And now, everyone had someone else to talk to.

Everyone but him.

He didn’t like it, but he knew that it only stood to reason: he was no super genius, had no fantastical powers, didn’t pilot any sort of mecha or space ship.  And sure, he had some time in the US Navy, it was nothing compared the the experiences of everyone else.  He had just been a maintenance technician.  No more.  No less.

He had nothing of any real value to contribute except empty small talk.

“Hello Rodes’-san!” came Nanoha Takamachi’s voice out of the blue, mildly surprising him and immediately drawing his attention to the girl.  With her was Fate, and they were holding hands - together already just like the couple they would be in the future.

“Ah, Takamachi-san, Miss Testarossa,” said Ben amiably.  “I hope that you two are enjoying the party.”

“Unh!” replied Nanoha happily as Fade nodded with a smile.  “We’ve been having a great time!  I never ever thought I’d get to meet these people.  I’ve been having a lot of fun telling Fate about the things they’ve done.  But the only person I haven’t had a chance to talk to yet is you, Rodes’-san.”

“Pfah,” replied Ben.  “I ain’t anyone special.  The only thing that makes me special at all is that I’ve seen some anime that happen to have you people in them.”

“Well,” said Nanoha a bit slowly.  “What do you think of me?”

Ben smiled mildly.  How adorable, he thought to himself.  Why would she want to know that from me, though?

“Hmmm,” said Ben thoughtfully.  “I think you’re a wonderful person.  You’re brave and courageous.  You have a strong heart.  You’re not afraid to stand up for what you believe in, and standing against someone, even if you might get hurt.  Everything about you is beautiful, Na-” Ben stopped himself short of using her given name, as that was being too forward in Nanoha’s culture.  So, instead he corrected himself.  “...Takamachi-san.”

“Please,” said the girl.  “I want you to be my friend.  So call me Nanoha instead.”

“Alright then,” said Ben, his smile broadening but still seemingly wistful.  “Then you can call me Ben or Benjamin.”

“I like the sound of Benjamin,” said Nanoha.  “It has a nice sound to it.  So, why are you by yourself over here?”

Ben shrugged.  “Well, like I said, I’m no one special.  And to be honest, with as much as I know about the people here, I think that it’s best if I just let them be.  It’d feel so weird for someone that already knows them all so well to interfere.”

“But that’s not your fault, Benjamin,” said Nanoha.  “And I think you are special.  Someone who’s willing to help people like us...  You’re a very good and wonderful person for wanting to help.”

“I try to be,” said Ben.  “But in my experience... that’s not always enough.  The world wants a lot more from me than I can give sometimes.”

“What do you mean?” asked Nanoha.

Ben sighed and then looked at the two, and then looked right into Fate’s eyes.

There was something there in those eyes of hers.  Oh, they were beautiful, alright.  Not at all like the strange pinkish-blue of an albino’s eyes.  But instead, her irises were a vivid ruby-red, through and through, glimmering like a ruby reflecting light.

But beyond the sheer beauty of her eyes... there was something there.  Some sort of longing and... hope?  But hope for what, Ben wondered.  But even so, Ben knew a kindred spirit when he saw one.  While Nanoha’s eyes were filled with love and joy, Fate’s were filled with the somber repose that only the abused could have.

“Go ahead and have a seat, you two,” said Ben.  “This is gonna take a bit to explain.”

Nanoha and Fate both eagerly went to the other side of the table, still hand-in-hand as they sat together and looked to Ben with suspenseful gazes.

He sighed before he went on, “Miss Testarossa?”

“You can call me Fate,” she said quietly, but clearly enough for Ben to understand her, even as she shyly looked down.  “If you’re Nanoha’s friend... then you’re my friend, too.”

“Okay then Fate,” said Ben, causing her to look up with a hopeful smile.  “But only as long as you call me by my name, too,” he said small wink.

“Of course!” replied the girl as Nanoha beamed happily.

Ben sighed again.  He hated to kill the mood, but he felt that the two needed to understand...

“Fate, the thing is that you and I are alike in the sense that we’ve both been abused by our parents.”

Nanoha’s face fell instantly and Fate gasped as she covered her mouth.

“Don’t worry,” said Ben.  “I wasn’t beaten like you were by Precia.  Though some might say that what I had was just as bad.”

“What do you mean?” asked Fate with a worried tone.

“Psychological abuse,” said Ben.  “My scars are all up in here,” he said, pointing up at his head.  “And down here, too,” he said, this time pointing down at his heart.  “You see, when we’re children, we take in everything we see and hear.  It’s very hard to override the things we learn when we’re young.  And that is what makes child abuse so terrible.  It programs a child to think exactly what the abuser tells them.”

Ben saw the tears brimming in Fate’s eyes, and he knew for sure that she was remembering every horrible thing Precia had ever told her.  So he reached out and took her hands in his own in an effort to show his solidarity with her.

He went on, “My father... He called me an idiot.  A moron.  A dumb shit.  When I could not complete jobs to his perfectionist standards, he started calling me ‘Half-a-Job’.  But then after that, he took it back, said, ‘No, you’re not even a half-a-job, you’re a Tenth-of-a-Job.’

“And what was worse was that my younger brothers would see this, and they took it to mean that they were better than me.  They’d come inside my room, destroy my treasured possessions, and even kill my pet fish.  And my father absolutely refused to let me have a lock on my door, because he didn’t want me to be able to hide anything from him, never minding the fact that he’d have a key of his own.

“That was my childhood.  When I was in my second year of high school I dropped out because I couldn’t do it anymore.  I was bullied everywhere I went and nothing anyone did ever helped.  And when I was twenty, I was so dysfunctional that I couldn’t live on my own without support.

“The only thing that kept me from actively planning my own suicide was that I knew it would have destroyed my mother.  She will never say it to anyone, but I know: I am her favorite, and only because I am so much like her that it hurts her to see me hurt.  She sees herself in me - her little gender-flipped carbon copy.  And I did not want to be so selfish as to inflict the sort of pain that my end would have brought her.

“I have been there, Fate.  I have been so miserable, lonely, and crushed that I wanted my life to end.”

He hadn’t meant for it to come out, but it had anyhow.  Nanoha looked on in dumb-founded horrification.  And Fate...

Fate charged around the table and wrapped her arms tightly around Benjamin, burying her face against his chest, quietly sobbing as her tears soaked through his shirt.

Ben put an arm around her, slowly rubbing her back in an effort to quietly comfort her.

“I’m still here, though,” he said quietly.  “Just like you.  I’m still here.”

Nanoha suddenly appeared at his other side, putting her arms around both Ben and Fate as tears slowly fell from her eyes.  She knew she liked Benjamin the moment she saw him.  There was just something about him that called to her - exotic, enticing, and powerful.

But what he revealed... and what he was doing for Fate in doing so...

Nanoha Takamachi swore to herself that day that she would make Benjamin as much a part of her life as Fate was.

No matter what obstacles stood in her way.

##

Meanwhile, from the mezzanine of the second floor, Momoko and Shiro watched.

“Dammit,” cursed Shiro softly.  “Even in a different Earth, why the hell does there have to be such horrible stories.”

“I’m surprised,” said Momoko, comforting her husband with a touch.  “Normally that’s not what a man is concerned with when his youngest daughter is hugging a man that age.”

Shrio scoffed.  “As if I could bring myself to feel anger towards a man like him.  I can’t even imagine what that was like.  My father was tough on me, but he never did anything or said anything to make me feel like I had no value.”  He then sighed.  “Though you’re right about our little girl.  This is going to be an issue.”

“You think so?” asked Momoko.

“You told me she never left my side when I was in the hospital.  She did that because she didn’t know what she could do to help.  We might as well have just gift wrapped her and Fate for that man.”

Momoko sighed.  “Aren’t you being a little melodramatic?”

“Maybe,” admitted Shiro.  “But that still leaves us in a very awkward position.  And him as well.  I know that he won’t do anything inappropriate with them.  But...”

“No, I understand.  She won’t either.  But she will want to spend a lot of time here.  It was bad enough with Fate.  You know that they share the same futon every time?”

Shiro nodded.  “Even if I had the heart to separate them, I doubt that I could with their bodies being that tangled together.  I couldn’t even tell whose limbs were whose.”

“Well, we should probably start planning for the worst,” said Momoko.

“I’ll talk to them, make sure they know they can’t go gallivanting off.  All girls have to have their first case of heartbreak.”

“Shiro.  Let’s take him with us.”

He shot his wife a shocked look.  “Back to the Midoriya!?”

Momoko shook her head.  “Back to Uminari City.”

“Why?”

“Belldandy said that everyone gets a wish.  One wish only.”  She then said and said, “If our little girl really has fallen for him... then I’ll wish for him to go back with us.”

“But he’s already middle-aged.  He’s going to be almost fifty by the time Nanoha can marry him.”

“I’ll ask Washu-chan if she can do something about his age.  I’d be surprised if she can’t.”

Shiro sighed.  “I’m not trying to fight you on this.  As her mother, this is your prerogative... but, why?”

“If he was just a child, would you have adopted him?”

Shiro blinked.  “If I had even seen a little bit of what he said?  Anything to get him away from that... person.”

Momoko nodded.  “There are so many people in the world that deserve another chance.  Fate is lucky that Nanoha came into her life.  Our little girl isn’t the type to just give up on someone.  And she’s not going to give up on Benjamin now.”

“Can we actually do this?” he asked.

Momoko nodded.  “Nanoha can take care of herself.  She’s shown recently that she is a lot more capable than we ever gave her credit for.  She’s a good girl that way.  And him?  He’s the type to fall all over himself to pull his weight.  We might actually have to get him to hold back a bit.”

“That won’t be all,” said Shiro with a sigh.  “I hope that Washu-chan really can make him a kid again, because otherwise that is something that never really heals.  As he is now, he’s cursed for life.  But if we can give him another childhood... then he might have a bit of a chance.”

Momoko nodded.  “I once read something on the internet.  How people would come to this person, on the brink of losing to depression, begging for any help.  He said that he admired these people.  They weren’t weak at all.  After all, they’d made it to his door despite the odds.  To him, they were like soldiers trapped for years behind enemy lines, lost in a jungle, no weapon, no ammunition, starving and so sick that they’re starting to hallucinate monsters in the shadows.  And they’re crying out, ‘I’m not dying out here! Give me anything, even if it’s just a stick!’”

Shiro looked into his wife’s eyes at that, and saw that they were glistening with tears threatening to spill over.  But there was no real sadness there - only a heartfelt empathy.

“Benjamin wants a stick,” she said.  “Let’s give him a set of kodachi instead and teach him how to use them.”

In that moment, Shiro was reminded how beautiful and magnificent his wife is, and exactly where Nanoha got it from.  As he held his wife close, his only hope was that Benjamin understood the precious treasure that seemed to have fallen in his lap.

And so the die is caste.  How do you guys like it?

[Bob Schroeck]

'Scuse me, I think I have something in my eye.

[robkelk]

Rob noticed one of his boarders heading towards Ben and Fate (and Nanoha), and moved fast. "Could I have a moment, Usagi?"

"Can it wait, Rob-san? Ben looks so sad, and I need to help."

"It's because you want to help that it can't wait. Ben needs to do this on his own."

Usagi looked puzzled. "I don't understand."

Rob smiled kindly. "No. You wouldn't have any reason to understand. You and I come from happy homes, with parents and siblings who we love and who love us. Ben ... it's his story to tell, but his childhood wasn't that happy. And Fate..."

"What about Fate?"

"Fate ... she lived through a family life that would anger even you. Ben and Fate share something that we will never know first-hand. There will be time for our gifts of compassion later, Usagi. Right now, they need to talk on their own without us privileged people swooping in to help."

"But... I can't just leave them to their pain."

"I don't want you to leave them to their pain. Right now, they're sharing their pain. Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased."

"That's so profound."

Rob grinned for a moment. "I got that from the regulars at a bar." Then he sighed. "We can share joy later."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm sure."

"But I want to help now."

"Sometimes all we can do is sit and wait. That's something Nanoha and I have in common."

[Black Aeronaut]

Spoilered snip for brevity

Rob noticed one of his boarders heading towards Ben and Fate (and Nanoha), and moved fast. "Could I have a moment, Usagi?"

"Can it wait, Rob-san? Ben looks so sad, and I need to help."

"It's because you want to help that it can't wait. Ben needs to do this on his own."

Usagi looked puzzled. "I don't understand."

Rob smiled kindly. "No. You wouldn't have any reason to understand. You and I come from happy homes, with parents and siblings who we love and who love us. Ben ... it's his story to tell, but his childhood wasn't that happy. And Fate..."

"What about Fate?"

"Fate ... she lived through a family life that would anger even you. Ben and Fate share something that we will never know first-hand. There will be time for our gifts of compassion later, Usagi. Right now, they need to talk on their own without us privileged people swooping in to help."

"But... I can't just leave them to their pain."

"I don't want you to leave them to their pain. Right now, they're sharing their pain. Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased."

"That's so profound."

Rob grinned for a moment. "I got that from the regulars at a bar." Then he sighed. "We can share joy later."

"If you're sure..."

"I'm sure."

"But I want to help now."

"Sometimes all we can do is sit and wait. That's something Nanoha and I have in common."

Heh.

For some reason, this song comes to mind for this bit...

(The lyrics kinda got in the way, so I went for one of the instrumental outtakes... not quite the same, though, without something to take up the part of the vocal melody...)

[Black Aeronaut]

Gyagh.

I found the perfect music to go with Ben's reveal to Fate.  It's a lullaby cover of Shinedown's Save Me arranged by Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star.  Trust me, it's better than you think because, they didn't shift it into a major key as you might expect.  No vocals in this version, but that's fine because despite sounding like a music box, it hits the mood perfectly without being auditorily overpowering.  It's calm, but moody and sorrowful.

The original theme fits, too.  If you've never heard the song before, it tells of a man who's about to commit suicide by drug overdose, but is hoping against all hope that someone will save him.

But the problem is that it's not on Youtube.

I'm going to see what I can do, but here's a link to the album on Amazon (it's the last track on the album):
https://www.amazon.com/Lullaby-Versions-...00U6VLBRO/

It's also on Google Play Music and probably iTunes, too, if that's your thing.

Curious to know what you guys think.

[Labster]

That really hits you in the feels. Good writing, Black Aeronaut.

I can't really have empathy for this, though. Not the way they said it in the video. Being an abuse victim is an alien thought process to me, as is being an abuser. It just makes me angry -- at the world, I guess. Sorry.

[Black Aeronaut]

No, it's understandable.  Being in such a position of powerlessness is very difficult for many people to imagine.  That shit is scary and I don't wish it on anyone.

I think the main thing to keep in mind is that the reason trying to 'put a silver lining' on something doesn't really fix things.  I know I've said it a bunch of other times, but it rings true here as well: It doesn't matter how thin you slice it, it's still gonna be bologna.  It's trite, cheap, and false.  You can say the most amazing, incredibly positive take away about a situation...  But it doesn't change anything.  The circumstances still apply, and they do so with finely barbed hooks and razor-sharp wire tugging at your heart.

I suspect the only way you can come close is having a hobby or an interest that very VERY few people share, and if they do, they seldom talk about it.  And then finally you meet someone who shares that same interest and suddenly hours have gone by...  Yeah, it's that feeling of catharsis.  That, OMG they REALLY GET ME! moment.

And that's pretty much what happened between Benjamin and Fate.  Only rather than joy and catharsis.... it's heartbreak and catharsis, which is quite possibly an even more potent combination.

[Rajvik]

I apologize for sounding trite here it is not my intention. That said, I can empathize, or at least I could if my own had not turned me into a borderline sociopath. BA I don't know what your coping mechanism at the time was, mine was to shut down and shut out everything u till I could process it, and while that method works, it has its drawbacks

[Black Aeronaut]

That's pretty much how it was for me, except that I didn't completely shut down. Mom at least made sure that I had books, so I had that as a path of escapism.

Of course, that combined with my sleep disorder (which was undiagnosed and completely unknown of, but now obvious in retrospect) and everything else meant that I really did spend a lot of quiet, solitary nights, reading books, drinking tea, introspecting, and imaginaning so much that it probably WAS dissociation, just not to a dangerous or otherwise notable degree.

A lot of these coping mechanisms still exist today, though I try to moderate them.

[Rajvik]

for me it was safer to simply shut down completely and let him have his way rather than fight in any notable way. i spent my teen years extremely passive/aggressive and it was only joining the Marines that got me to where i could actually make passive/aggressive behavior work. That and Shadowrun which i didn't find until i was 19. There is a section in BROB'd where i describe a portion of what happened during my childhood, its not pretty and quite frankly i'm surprised that i am as well balanced as i am.

why do good women attract/accept shitheads?

[Labster]

why do good women attract/accept shitheads?

OMG is that a can of worms of social psychology.  Anything from laws, learned behavior, socialization, preexisting psychological issues, authority, economics, desperation... and I'm sure I'm missing a few things.  But let me put it this way: As far as I can tell, the abuser constructs a narrative for the victim, and the victim gradually accepts that Personal Reality.

At least that's how Danielle explained to me, without the otaku reference.  Her parents were addicts, so she lived with a somewhat abusive grandma.  She met a guy who decided that she would be his.  And he was really nice and sweet and rich, so she dated him a little, and eventually moved in.  And then he throws away all of her "slutty" clothes but omg he's so sorry! And a couple months later, he hit her, but it's only because he was drunk and because she did something wrong, so it won't happen again.  Maybe it was really her fault?  And it's chipping away, step by step, at identity and self-esteem until that becomes normal life.  That was the part I was missing, that living with abuse just becomes so ordinary and banal and mundane.

By the way she did get divorced, but not without her spending a few weeks in jail, getting the judge in her case censured, and losing visitation rights for her daughter forever.  And that's where the next generation of potential victims comes from, like a memetic virus.

I guess if I want to bring it all back on topic, I have thought about it a little in the story, especially since Rob suggested Ai yori Aoshi.  The main character, Kaoru, is a physical abuse victim from his "grandfather".  And I've thought about what relationships my characters could form.  I feel like these characters could end up in abusive relationships if they aren't careful: Aoi Sakuraba, Tina Foster, Kaorin Aida, Mayu Miyuki -- in that order.  On the other hand, I have characters immune from it: Tomoyo Daidouji, Entchen, Tomo Takino, Yomi Mizuhara, anyone named Kinomoto, Shaoran Li, Chiyo Mihama, Osaka, Akari Mizunashi, Alicia Florence, Chika Minazuki -- also in that order.

[Black Aeronaut]

Because unfortunately, human women have a predisposition towards going after men that are, not to put too fine a point on it, “alpha as fuck”, never minding that there’s a difference between “alpha” and “unrepentant bag of of dicks that should not reproduce”.

EDIT: ya ninja’d me Labster.

Anyhow, I didn’t mean to come across so banal myself, but it feels true. As I’ve written before, neurotypicals don’t want ‘defective’ people in their lives. It’s sad, but if people like me want to attract a girl, we have to somehow manage to ‘fake normal’ for years before we can spring it on them.  And even then it can be a deal breaker.

[Labster]

Haha fun fact neurotypicals spend most of their time pretending to be "normal" too, it just comes easier to them. One of the problems is romance has a large element of bluff and innuendo that is designed to be at the edge of ambiguity, so as to easily save face, which is just maddening to people on the spectrum. If you're "springing it on them" after years they must be super-unobservant. I can usually tell after a single conversation, and I usually fall into the super-unobservant category. The bluffing element comes even easier to sociopaths, though.

I did date a hippie girl with autism for a little while in college. TMI time: The uh, sensual side was a little off because she was kinda in her own world. I mean, I could tell she definitely wanted to be there, but she couldn't quite convey those feelings with her body. Didn't go anywhere because I don't think either of us wanted to make it serious. I'm wouldn't mind trying with someone else, though.

Definitely not a deal breaker. If you find someone to love in this world you better hang on tooth and nail -- the wolf is always at the door.

[robkelk]

And this is post #300.

New thread is new.