[OOC][PLOT] The Fifth Thread of Planning for Arc 1 - Arrivals

[Black Aeronaut]

Letting Nanoha and Fate come over makes sense from a narrative standpoint. It also gives the Takamachis a chance to see for themselves that everything is on the up-and-up.

I nixed the scene that gave them the most screen time at the party because the story needed to be shorter, and it's better off without me dumping my issues all over the place. But it is important enough to my later stories that, as I said before, I'll just put all that into a side story.

We can find other ways to include them. If nothing else, Sasami, Chibi-Usa, and those two can get up to some good old fashioned mischief.

[Labster]

Ritsuko nodded. "You wouldn't happen to know where to find the data, would you?"

FFS guys Mr. Data is at the party and no one wrote a scene for him.

I think you probably took out a lot too much from the main story, BlackAeronaut. I think everything before "to have fallen in his lap" was fine in the big story. The only thing not really adding weight here was the Rei/Ben interaction because it was a retread of the same dramatic territory. Or, rather, the Nanoha/Ben stuff written afterward is a much better character development arc on the same topic -- and since the Rei scene happened later in-story it felt like covering the same ground.

Either way we're at light novel length and so we should be looking at it as containing several stories in balance with each other. Tomo/Mina, Ben/Nanoha, and Akari/Sith provide the main movement here, and the tone balances between comedic, dramatic, and romantic. Everyone else's story is either episodic or limited to one chapter. I tried to add a little more drama with my last change to the final chapter. That said the final chapter needs a little more Ben. What does he think about about his new situation in the light of day?

Also I'm pretty sure I want Akari's whole chapter in there because some of our characters got laid, but someone's gotta fall in love too! Only took 10 months to make up my mind about that lol.

[Labster]

Oh, and because I didn't make it clear, let me know if anyone wants to veto that addition to the last chapter.  It just seemed like the sort of thing that would matter to her.  But I'm just starting off in the adopt-a-Saber program.

Also our current title is a little boring.  Anyone like one of these suggestions?

Samhain San Antonio
San Antonio Summit
Taco Town Terror
Autism in the Twenty-First Century
Night of the Living Retcon
Eve of the White Devil
Halloween in Another World

OK one of them I somehow thought of at 3:30 AM and probably belongs in the Should Not Be thread.  The last one is my current fav.

And then, the byline.  These are all our real names, right?  I'm thinking this, alpha order seems easiest:

by
Rob Kelk
Brent Laabs
Benjamin Rhodes

with
James Bostwick
Dartz

[Black Aeronaut]

Autism in the Twenty-First Century

.... Rob, I think Brent is dropping hints here.  :V

Personally, I'd be willing to exchange one scene for another, but the bit I did for Rei was some great development for her as well.

However, I'd be willing to rewrite it so it's less about Ben and more about Rei.  This way, while it would traverse the same ground covered before, it would be entirely about how she handles being confronted by it.

Besides, after the scene with Fate and Nanoha, Ben would be in a somewhat different frame of mind.

Thoughts?

[robkelk]

Ritsuko nodded. "You wouldn't happen to know where to find the data, would you?"

FFS guys Mr. Data is at the party and no one wrote a scene for him.

Is he, though?

Data may not have been discovered yet - he didn't find the Stars until after they started going public.

Autism in the Twenty-First Century

.... Rob, I think Brent is dropping hints here.  :V

All over the floor, too. Time to get the mop...

Personally, I'd be willing to exchange one scene for another, but the bit I did for Rei was some great development for her as well.

However, I'd be willing to rewrite it so it's less about Ben and more about Rei.  This way, while it would traverse the same ground covered before, it would be entirely about how she handles being confronted by it.

Besides, after the scene with Fate and Nanoha, Ben would be in a somewhat different frame of mind.

Thoughts?

Rei mentions her talk with Ben in a chronologically-later story, so something has to happen...

[Labster]

Sorry, blame my subconscious on that one.  Please realize that between having a trope website and working as a programmer there are an awful lot of spectrum-havers in my life.

Glad to not think about Data, for now.

@rob: please explain the source, I'm dumb:
"He's using terms from Dumas." Urd turned from Skuld to Rob. "Aren't you?"

@BA: Rewrite sounds good, but please do it fast.  As far as I can tell, it should be your top priority.  This is a priority one, Marie.  The next one down would be a drinking contest scene.  But that's skippable, because we allude to the results of it.

Imma go readd a couple scenes now.

[robkelk]

@rob: please explain the source, I'm dumb:
"He's using terms from Dumas." Urd turned from Skuld to Rob. "Aren't you?"

The Three Musketeers - the English noblewoman DeWinter is referred to as "Milady" by the French musketeers.

[Black Aeronaut]

Autism in the Twenty-First Century

.... Rob, I think Brent is dropping hints here.  :V

All over the floor, too. Time to get the mop...

Sorry, blame my subconscious on that one.  Please realize that between having a trope website and working as a programmer there are an awful lot of spectrum-havers in my life.

S'alright.  I was just as amused as Rob when I saw it.

Hmmm....  How about "Night of the Living Retcon, or Autism in the 21st Century"?  I've grown kinda fond of the Dr. Strangelove-style titles.

Personally, I'd be willing to exchange one scene for another, but the bit I did for Rei was some great development for her as well.

However, I'd be willing to rewrite it so it's less about Ben and more about Rei.  This way, while it would traverse the same ground covered before, it would be entirely about how she handles being confronted by it.

Besides, after the scene with Fate and Nanoha, Ben would be in a somewhat different frame of mind.

Thoughts?

Rei mentions her talk with Ben in a chronologically-later story, so something has to happen...

@BA: Rewrite sounds good, but please do it fast.  As far as I can tell, it should be your top priority.  This is a priority one, Marie.  The next one down would be a drinking contest scene.  But that's skippable, because we allude to the results of it.

Got it.  I'll get right on it then.

[Black Aeronaut]

Okay, here we go.

I didn't need to make many changes to the actual meeting between Benjamin and Rei.  Just a bit here and there to shift more of the emphasis towards her feelings.

The big change is in her meeting with Belldandy afterwards.  She goes in confused and outright frightened, is then horrified by what she learns, has a flash of outrage about the thing with Nanoha and Fate... and then slips into guilt and regret once she realizes the truth of the matter: that those two girls have hearts that are less jaded than her own.  That they could, without reservation, come to the decision that they want to be with him.

---

The tea kettle on Ben's stove hissed and popped as the blue gas flame fumed underneath it. Ben himself puttered around in his kitchen, gathering together a Japanese style teapot and two small teacups that matched it.

"I apologize that my place is cluttered up right now," he said. "I've been so busy lately that I've barely had time to take care of things. Is green tea fine by you? I also have Oolong, White Tea, and Chai."

"I'd like Chai, please," said Rei absently as she looked the place over. Every wall was covered - with shelves, bookcases, artworks, and other, more utilitarian knickknacks. One corner of the living room was filled in by a series of wildly varying toolboxes, along with a large cordura tool tote filled with esoteric automotive tools.

Rei actually almost laughed because she saw the whimsically placed yellow post-it note with Ben's somewhat neat, if uneven handwriting declaring, "KEIICHI WAS HERE!" Rei, having met the boy earlier at the party with his pleasant yet retiring demeanor, could almost see the long suffering look on Keiichi's face next to Ben's mischievous grin and twinkling eyes.

Rei noted, right then, that his eyes were far from twinkling. It rather reminded her of her father when there was serious business he had to conduct, except while her father's mien would be cold, Ben's actually radiated an air of concern.

The kettle whistled and Ben checked the temperature of the water using a kitchen thermometer, and then grumbled something about old appliances that needed to be replaced, causing Rei to blink in surprise - she had never known an American to show this much care when brewing tea. And then once he poured the water over the tea bags, he then set a timer, surprising her further.

While the timer ticked down, he quickly set to clearing a space on the coffee table - a pair of battered laptops, game controllers, TV remote, and old takeout cartons were removed. The timer went off and Ben immediately went and removed the tea bags from the pot, then added half-and-half to the tea before bringing the tray over. Rei noted that the trays, while cheap, were attractive - black laquered wood decorated by colorful Bird of Paradise flowers in the center.

To Rei's further puzzlement, Ben turned on the TV and the game console, started the Youtube app, and then selected a live-stream channel.
Downtempo hip hop beats with soothing instrumentals and an ambiance of needle-on-vinyl hisses, clicks, and pops filled the air. Quite disarmingly, the video part of the stream depicted a girl drawn in anime-style, boredly but diligently grinding away at her studies at a desk with a small potted plant, table lamp, an eclectic mix of books and supplies, and surrounded by bookshelves filled with an even more varied library. A cat lounged on a windowsill, lazily waving its tail while rain fell outside. The headphones the girl wore jumped out at Rei - they were of a quality studio-style design, but with, amusingly enough, googly eyes that jiggled whenever the girl moved her head.

As Ben poured the tea and offered it to her, it all came together for Rei.

While the party outside was definitely important to Benjamin, he was an entirely different sort of social creature. It was blatantly obvious that this was Ben's preferred demesne - the calm and somewhat intimate setting that offered ambience while permitting casual conversation. It was here that Rei reminded herself that there was a world of difference between a shut-in and an introvert. Shut-ins were shy about coming out at all. Introverts were simply quiet people that preferred a calm setting with only a few people at a time to socialize.

Even if the content of said conversation was anything but casual.

Rei tried the chai.

It was not the best she had ever had. That honor goes to the few times her father had taken her to prestigious tea houses in Tokyo and Yokohama. But it was good - far better than she would ever have expected from an American using a store-brand chai. Benjamin was no tea master, but his calm and methodical process held promise to it.

For her part, Rei recognized the degree of polite hospitality for what it was and reacted accordingly - one of the few things she could say that she appreciated her father teaching her.

"Very well, Rodesu-san. What is this matter that you wish to discuss with me."

Ben sipped his own tea slowly before answering. "The matter of your feelings towards Chiba-dono." Rei felt a flash of outrage well up, but Ben was expecting this as he raised a hand to gently forestall her. The following use of honorific attached to her name almost made her blanch. "Please, Hino-dono, do not be offended. I do not take such matters lightly. Love and family are matters of great importance to me."

Rei's mind quickly flashed back to just a few minutes ago when Ben had that brief but potently sorrowful look in his eyes.

Is he really serious? she wondered.

"I see," replied Rei calmly. "Then please, state your case, Rodesu-san."

Benjamin nodded and then emptied his cup like he was taking a shot at a bar. Uncouth, but she had seen worse behavior. He spoke as he refilled his cup, and offered to do the same for Rei. She politely declined for the moment.

"The matter of you wishing to pursue a relationship with Chiba-dono in the same fashion of the Juraians... I myself have no issue with it, but there are... difficulties that you must take into account."

Rei nodded. Of course it wouldn't be that easy, she chided herself, almost flushing in embarrassment at her earlier behavior. She grudgingly awarded the man another token of respect as he had not only kept her from embarrassing herself and her friends in the process, but was confronting her with the issue in such a tactful, yet direct manner as well.

"Please, go on," requested Rei politely.

Benjamin nodded as he sipped his tea. "The most prime concern being thus: I cannot see you, Tsukino-sama, or any of your other friends forsaking your home world to live on Jurai. I can see how it may be tempting, but I also understand that your sense of duty would not abide you abandoning your posts. Even for something as important as love."

Rei nodded slowly and grew concerned once more. Just how well did this American know her!?

"Is there more?" asked Rei.

Benjamin nodded again. "There are workarounds for this, but a woman of your birth and station may find it beneath yourself."

Rei wasn't sure if this was a well-veiled insult, but given what she had learned so far she felt that it was no insult at all, but instead an acknowledgment of the truth: that she was the only child and daughter of the man who is the leader of one of the largest political parties in Japan.  So for the moment, she accepted his words at face value.

However, Ben was reluctant about going any further - the reticence clearly showing on his face.

"And?" said Rei, prodding for more.

Ben sighed softly. "The only answer that I can think of as a temporary measure, given the situation and your native culture, would be to humbly offer yourself up to Chiba-dono's household as a concubine."

Rei’s eyes widened in shock at the very idea.  Her, a concubine!?

Rei almost dropped her cup.

She almost shouted at him.

But one look at those eyes quickly banked her fires.

There, in his eyes, she saw such a powerful hurt that it completely stalled whatever she was about to say or do.  He was being empathic towards her, but he also seemed to have a distinct lack of pity.

Rei carefully schooled herself, while once again wondering at what sort of man she was dealing with. He may only be close to middle age, but his eyes were like that of an old man with more regrets than his tired bones could support.

What on Earth happened to him?

Rei sighed. "Very well then. Is there anything else?"

"Only two things, Hino-dono. First and foremost you must consider the precedent this will set. If you do convince Chiba-dono and Tsukino-sama to let you into their house, you must keep in mind that others may consider doing the same. You must consider that your Sister-Senshi may not wish to be left out."

Rei's eyes widened at that. Of course that only makes sense! All of Mina's teasing. Mako-chan pining for a boyfriend. Ami's longing looks. All of it would only get worse if she acted so selfishly.

For once, Rei herself understood the desire to finish off one's drink in a single tidal gulp the way Ben had earlier. She tried it, and found that while it helped, it did leave something to be desired. Maybe once she was old enough for alcohol she'd learn for certain.

Ben offered her more tea, and this time she gladly accepted.

"And the other thing, Rodesu-san?"

Ben nodded as he set the teapot back down. "You already know from the account of Chibi-Usa that some time in your world's future, society collapses and Chiba-dono and Tsukino-sama have little other choice but to establish Crystal Tokyo. In this time, they become Emperor and Empress, respectively, of that domain.

"With this, I would say that you and your Sister-Senshi may be lawfully wedded to Chiba-dono, as it will be his word and that of Tsukino-sama that are the laws of the land. However, everything else that goes with that would apply still. This will set a precedent, and it will be something that you and the others will need to come to terms with.

"The only other thing I wish to add, Hino-dono, is that whether you believe it or not, there are those among us that do wish to be dear friends to you and the rest of the Sailor Senshi. There are things we can do to help, each in our own way. As you have seen, I'm good at getting into a person's head, granted that I have enough background information on said person and enough time to study them."

"How long have you studied me and the others?" she asked, point blank.

Benjamin looked her in the eyes. At first it might have seemed like a challenge, but Rei knew now that there were hidden depths to this man that, while unnerving, also beckoned.

And that in and of itself was unnerving as well. He was an abyss and if she stared into him for too long, she feared that his very persona would swallow her whole, and what would come after that was a mystery both enticing and frightening.

It was no wonder that he got on so well with the Goddesses and other people with great power. Even though he was a mere tool in the grand design - something that he not only fully acknowledges but even willingly accepts - his sheer force of his personality, especially in these quieter moments, was staggering.

At length, Benjamin closed his eyes and lowered his head. "Too long, Hino-dono."

The crushing weight of regret she felt from him was almost overpowering. She wanted to ask him what was wrong and how can she help. But she also sensed clearly that to do so would be crossing a line from which she could not return. Even worse, she suspected that he knew this as well and was intentionally making it clear to her: this is the edge of the abyss - to cross this threshold is to never turn back.

Rei had no resolve for this.

It was a bitter pill for her, but she understood. Benjamin was something... a force that changed people. A black hole that either swallowed the unwary, or completely altered their course in radical ways. It was no wonder that his tenants were ostensibly the most dangerous of all. He was eminently well suited for the task at hand.

Rei was not sure what was worse; the galling sensation she had at her utter helplessness, or the fact that she understood why she felt helpless.
She had to leave as quickly as decorum would allow...

... And probably tell Belldandy that he needed help.

Rei could not be certain - not without taking that last step over the threshold - but she felt that something was eating him alive. She had a strong idea of what, but not the reasons why.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality, Rodesu-sama. And for your kind and respectful words. I assure you, I will be taking them to heart."

Benjamin bowed his head respectfully to her. "It is my pleasure to be of service, Hino-dono."

If she hadn't needed to leave before, that would have done it. Something deep inside her screamed in horror at the way he said that. It was beyond the niceties of Japanese social doctrine. He was practically groveling, and doing so wholeheartedly. All so that he can have some kind of assurance that he mattered.

She did not hurry. She was perfectly polite. She could not show any signs of what she had felt.

Minutes later, she found Belldandy, who was completely understanding when Rei said she needed to have a word with her. They went into one of model-units intended to show perspective tenants and Belldandy locked the door and made sure the curtains were drawn.

---

“There’s something wrong with Benjamin,” said Rei after the curtains had been drawn.  She then began to pace around the living room like a nervous jungle cat.  “He’s hurting, but I have no idea how to help him.  I want to ask him, but...  I just can’t!  He’s so...  so...”

"It’s alright" said Belldandy.  “He’s... very intense in that way.  I can understand why you’d be shaken.”

“But...  What on earth happened to him?” asked Rei.  “It scares me!  Nothing scares me!”

It spoke volumes of Belldandy’s soothing presence that Rei was able to admit that to anyone but Usagi.

"He's a good person,” said Belldandy, trying to reassure Rei.  But she trailed off as her expression turned more and more crestfallen.  “But... he's had terrible misfortune. I understand that it may not seem so. Rei, you look at him and you think that he looks like he could be a hero in some TV show or book. He's handsome, intelligent, and something of a Renaissance man - if he doesn't know how to accomplish a task, he sets out to teach himself and more often than not succeeds.  But that is only a symptom of what ails him.”

“What!?” cried out Rei in surprise.  “How could something have been so terrible but also made him so skilled!?”

Belldandy nodded.  “It is quite counterintuitive, I know.  But this is an issue that is very real and much more prevalent than it should be.  Benjamin is what is known as an Adult Child.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Rei in confusion.  “That he never grew up?”

Belldandy bowed her head, mostly so that Rei would not see the tears beginning to form in her eyes.  She did not need to know that even Belldandy, for all her power, felt powerless to help him.

“In a sense, you are correct.  The longer version of the title is ‘Adult Child of an Alcoholic’.  Though alcohol abuse had nothing to do with the matter.  Benjamin was simply abused by a father that was trying to turn Benjamin into himself.”

Rei’s heart suddenly plummeted to her feet as suddenly everything about Benjamin began to make a horrifying sense.  The excruciating politeness that rivaled the most humble-minded of Japanese...  Which only now she realized that it was almost like as if he was worried that if he even breathed wrong that he’d be beaten like a misbehaving dog.

And she had just discarded him.

"Someone like Marler might say,” continued Belldandy, “that surviving that part of his life hasn't done him any favors. Benjamin... he tries, he really does. But he's been hurt in ways many people cannot even imagine.  Physical wounds may heal over time.  But what was done to him cut him all the way down into his very soul, and you will never really notice unless you know what to look for.  But even if you did know what to look for, the very worst part about it is that you will never see the true extent of his spiritual wounds unless you make a serious effort to actually be family to him.

“That cannot be any sort of halfhearted gesture.  So badly has he been hurt that he dares to only trust those he feels closest to.  You would have to lay your own soul out bare to him before he can do the same with you.  You would have to give yourself to him.

“That is what he needs the most - his very own family of people that he can trust implicitly with his heart.  He needs someone to accept him as family, and accept that even though he tries so hard, he has some very deep flaws that are not of his own design.

“Fortunately, though, it seems that help has finally arrived for him.”

“Who?” asked Rei.

“Nanoha and Fate.”

“But they’re so young!” said Rei, aghast at the idea.  “They’re no older than Chibi-usa, and he’s so close to being middle-aged!”

Belldandy sighed.  “It could not have been helped,” she said.  “So many people are so jaded by their experiences that no matter what other attraction they may have felt towards Benjamin, they have no desire to deal with someone that has been damaged at such a fundamental level.  You yourself were reluctant, and you are one of the Sailor Senshi.  It could only be someone so pure of heart that they could care less about the implications.  Someone whose heart would rival that of Usagi-chan.  Their only concern would be helping him to heal.”

That struck a blow to Rei that was harder than any physical force she ever felt during any of her battles as Sailor Mars.  What stung almost as much was that she felt she deserved it.  How could she honestly call herself a Sailor Senshi after that?

Granted, Sailor Mars had her duty to Neo-Queen Serenity; while she could be Ben's friend, she could not be his family. Not without compromising the future. Because even if she could open herself to Benjamin like that, once they were able to return to their own world, it would have to be without Ben.  She could not imagine what that would do to his psyche... or, for that matter, her own.

Whatever course Rei chose would hurt somebody. Very quietly, she began to cry, because she dared not explode in front of the kindest of the megami.

Without either of them saying another word, Belldandy took Rei into her arms and held her.  There is nothing more horrible to someone whose oath is to support and defend love and justice than finding a case where you have absolutely no power to help.

---

How's that?

[Labster]

Haven't read it yet -- I just did a job interview where the interviewee is in Europe, so uh, late work for me.  I'll read tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I have my own, competing Rei scene:

A girl in a jet black racing jumpsuit approached the youngest tenants of Aria House.  Theoretically Chihiro Fujimi was The Stig, the mysterious mute man in black who could race any vehicle without blinking even once.  But in practice, it was kind of hard to be at a party and not talk to anyone, so she had given up and doffed the shiny black helmet.  She conceded to herself that it was kind of a lazy costume, but when it came down to choosing between fixing a bike or making a costume, well that was really no challenge.

However, her current challenge was quite simple -- tempting the kids to visit the Haunted House room that Benjamin had set up for them.  Not that adults couldn't enjoy a few scares provided by the crew of the Tuatha de Dannan, but these sorts of things were really about the children.  "Hey kids, are you interested in a test of courage?"

"Well..." Sakura demurred.

Shaoran was sure though, "I think we can pass any test, right, Sakura-chan?"

"You see, long ago, there lived a lonely woman in one of the apartments right over there."  But just from this one line, Sakura already began to frown.

Tomoyo, on the other hand, picked up her camera immediately to begin recording this important memory.

Chihiro continued, "And one day, she was so lonely that she decided to leave this world... except she never made it to the other side."  Sakura was shivering at this point.  "They say that her spirit haunts the room to this day.  But you'll never know unless you go see it for yourself, right?"

Despite the warm gulf air that night, Sakura's teeth were chattering.  "I don't think I want to find out."

A green haired woman in a long white robe and white hat materialized right behind Sakura.  She groaned, "Come in little girl, my room is simply to *die* for!" before vanishing away.

A shrill scream cut across even the amps of 33-Stars, followed by a cry of "Ghost!"

Most people just stopped and stared, but one imitation Hatsune Miku hopped over a table and rushed towards her.  She drew an ofuda from inside her bra, and threw it at the nearly immaterial woman, shouting, "AKU RYOU TAI SAN!"

The paper card exploded into a burst of fire against her face, drawing shocks of plasma from the woman as it disintegrated.  Ryoko rematerialized and shouted, "Hey!  That hurt, missy!"

"Oh, it's you."

"Yeah, it's me, be careful with those things!"

"Well sorry, how was I supposed to know you were only a slightly malevolent spirit?" Rei countered, and stuck out her tongue.  The spell to dispel evil had worked, after all.

Ayeka marched up and scolded, "How dare you threaten a defenseless girl like that, you insensitive clod."

"Scares are the whole point of the holiday!  Stuck up princesses like you don't know how to have any fun!"

As the bickering continued, Sgt. Sagara returned his sidearm he had drawn to its holster, determining that the combatants had simply been engaged in combat readiness exercises.

Rei bent down to ask, "Are you okay, Sakura-chan?"

Still clinging to Shaoran's hand like a vise, Sakura pouted, "No."

Moments like these, Tomoyo was glad she could hide her face behind the lens.  She felt sorry for Sakura, of course, but at the same time, she couldn't help but have the overwhelming feeling that Sakura was so moe.

I think that's it for me in terms of the Halloween story. After I remove the draft status from my blocks, I'm basically done now.

[robkelk]

We're looking pretty good here.

Schedule:

Today is the 25th.

I will lock the wiki page on the 28th, edit and arc-weld on the 29th and 30th, and post the story here on the 30th.

[Labster]

Okay, I'm going to be a blunt. This didn't address most of the problems I saw in the scene. There's a lot of Ben telling Rei things she already knows, followed by a grave insult for which she somehow decides not to leave the room. Would Rei really stand for it when a man she doesn't know starts mansplaining how she should consider being a concubine? Would any woman? Possibly Ayanami, but not Hino, Princess Mars. I don't understand why you're trying to protray Rei acting like an abuse victim.

So after that point, the rest of the conversation doesn't make any sense. Even if she can feel Ben's emotions, her own anger covers it up. I know from experience with my own temper that it's very hard to feel compassion for someone who you think is a total asshole. All the words flows right through until you calm down.

The implication that all of the inner senshi want to get in Mamoru's pants also seems to be um, relatively uncanonical. Seriously, I feel like Ryo the Psychic Lad got more attention from Ami than Mamoru did.

On the second scene, taking as assumption that the first scene somehow happened: I don't understand why Rei beats herself up over this. Part of being a warrior means that one cannot fight all battles. This is a mental trap that I doubt even first season Rei would have fallen into, and certainly not after the events at the end of the first season. I don't understand why Belldandy would leave Rei in such an unsettled state, when there's nothing to be unsettled about. Nanoha will fight the battle. Rei is sworn to "love and passion", not "love and justice", so she would understand this.

So what's the purpose here? Recognizing Ben's hurt already happens with Nanoha. For Rei, this seems more like Flanderization than character development. The information shared doesn't really help; she can come to the same conclusions on her own over the next 24 hours. The tea scene is pretty nice, if a little racist -- but it's definitely in line with Japanese casual racism and Rei's "failure mode" (i.e. I could see Touga Kiyruu thinking it). But given that I wrote lots of slice of life things already, I'm at the point where I'd consider adding a modified version of the second scene only. It's better to leave it to readers to imagine the catharsis than to provide one that rings false.

[robkelk]

Okay, folks - set that scene aside; we obviously aren't going to come to any conclusions about it in before I lock the story page.

Go work on something else. We can go with BA's original plan to show the story as an omake later, or we can simply allude to it the way we do now.

[Black Aeronaut]

Alright. Fine.

I agree with Rob. Let's just move on.

[robkelk]

D-2

BA has suggested a costume contest. Who wins?

So it's a costume contest.  Let's pick winners!

Best Idea/ Most Original
Most Elaborate
Best Clothing Swap
Best Group Costume
Best Costume, Non-humanoid "Beast Costume"
Most Funny
Most Scary
Best Costume Overall (the winner)

Any nominations?

None as yet. Do I get to decide all on my own?

Here's the most recent list of who's going as who/what. At this point, I think we'll have to assume anyone who still has a blank line instead of a costume listed didn't make anything sufficiently memorable to win. List spoilered because of length.

Spoiler

Appartements Mont-Royal Sud

• Terry Chambly: ___
  
• Gon Freecss: ___
  
• Killua Zoldyck: ___
  
• Alluka/Nanika Zoldyck: ___
  
• Kurapika Kurta: ___
  
• Leorio Paradinight: ___
  
• Emiya Shirou: ___
  
• Artoria Pendragon: the royal British lion (not an actual lion, but a costume reminiscent and suggestive of a lion)
  
• Tohsaka Rin: ___
  
• Emiya Shirou (Servant): ___
  
• Matou Sakura: ___
  
• Medusa: ___
  
• Souichirou Kuzuki: ___
  
• Medea of Colchis: ___
  
• Kojirou Sakaki: ___
  
• Illyasviel von Einzbern: ___
  
• Heracles: ___
  
• Bazett Fraga McRemitz: ___
  
• Cú Chulainn: ___
  

Aria House

• Brent Laabs: Mamoru Chiba
  
• Alicia Florence: Snow White
  
• Akira E. Ferrari: Rose Red
  
• Athena Glory: The Little Mermaid
  
• Alice Carroll: Alice in Wonderland
  
• Aika Granzchesta: Cinderella
  
• Akari Mizunashi: Scheherazade
  
• President Aria: Carmen Miranda
  
• Tomo Takino: Utena Tenjou
  
• Koyomi Mizuhara: Anthy Himemiya
  
• Chiyo Mihama: cheerleader
  
• Kagura: Kei
  
• Sakaki: Yuri
  
• Maya: Mughi
  
• Osaka: a tree
  
• Kaorin: a flapper
  
• Sakura Kinomoto: Belldandy
  
• Tomoyo Daidouji: Skuld
  
• Mira Kinomoto: Urd
  
• Shaoran Li: Thor
  
• Sonomi Daidouji: ___
  
• Fujitaka Kinomoto: Iron Chef Hiroyuki Sakai
  
• Kerberos: Pikachu
  

Blossom Apartments

• Rob Donaldson: "Agent R", a Man In Black from Men in Black
  
• Usagi Tsukino: Sarah Williams from Labyrinth, at the ball
  
• Mamoru Chiba: Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth, at the ball
  
• Usagi "Chibi-Usa" Chiba: Hikaru from Angelic Layer
  
• Luna: as herself, in her uniform from the Silver Millennium
  
• Artemis: Elric
  
• Diana: Hayate Yagami in Unison form
  
• Ami Mizuno: Mami Tomoe
  
• Minako Aino: "The Girl" from The Seven Year Itch
  
• Rei Hino: Hatsune Miko
  
• Makoto Kino: Mikoto Misaka
  
• Mikoto Misaka: Makoto Kino
  
• Kuroko Shirai: as herself (she's far too "rational" for Halloween)
  
• Ruiko Saten: Yomiko Readman
  
• Kazari Uiharu: does an alternate reading of her own name, 初春, and gets Hatsuharu from Kantai Collection
  
• Mii Konori: a Playboy Bunny
  

(The Misaka Sisters join the party too late to take part in the contest. Accelerator doesn't show up at all.)

Gulfside Rest

• James Bostwick: The man in black (Yul Brenner's character) from The Magnificent Seven
  
• Shinji Ikari: Hoban Washburne
  
• Asuka Soryu: Zoe Washburne
  
• Rei Ayanami: Yuki Nagato
  
• Toji Suzuhara: Simon Tam
  
• Kensuke Aida: Jayne Cobb
  
• Hikari Horaki: Kaylee Frye
  
• Misato Katsuragi: Inara Serra
  
• Kaji Ryogi: Malcolm Reynolds
  
• Ritsuko Akagi: Shepard Book
  
• Maya Ibuki: River Tam
  
• Malcolm Reynolds: Kaji Ryogi
  
• Inara Serra: Misato Katsuragi
  
• Hoban Washburne: Shinji Ikari
  
• Zoe Washburne: Asuka Soryu
  
• Simon Tam: Toji Suzuhara
  
• River Tam: Rei Ayanami
  
• Jayne Cobb: Kensuke Aida
  
• Shepard Book: Ritsuko Akagi
  
• Kaylee Frye: Hikari Horaki
  

Westwoods Apartments

• Benjamin Rhodes: A young version of Edward Teague, the father of Captain Jack Sparrow.
  
• Tenchi Masaki: ___
  
• Ryoko Hakubi: a Japanese ghost, complete with apparition
  
• Ayeka Masaki-Jyurai: ___
  
• Sasami Masaki-Jyurai: Pretty Sammy
  
• Mihoshi Kuramitsu: ___
  
• Washuu Hakubi: ___
  
• Ryo-Ooki: herself
  
• Noike Kamiki-Jyurai: ___
  
• Sousuke Sagara: ___
  
• Kaname Chidori: ___
  
• Teletha Testarossa: ___
  
• Kurz Weber: ___
  
• Melissa Mao: ___
  
• Nanoha Takamichi: Sakura Kinomoto
  
• Fate Testarossa: Usagi Tsukino
  

The Megami and close friends

• Belldandy: Dot Matrix
  
• Urd: Mouse from ReBoot
  
• Skuld: AndrAIa (young)
  
• Chihiro Fujimi: The Stig
  
• Keiichi Morisato: Bob from ReBoot
  
• Sora Hasegawa: ___
  
• Megumi Morisato: The Fonz
  

EDIT: Just gave Nanoha a costume. Themed with Fate's, sort of.

My votes, spoilered as an attempt to not bias anyone else. If nobody else votes, these are the winners...

Spoiler

Best Idea/ Most Original: Flapper Kaorin
Most Elaborate: Rei Hino as Hatsune Miko
Best Clothing Swap: Makoto Kino and Mikoto Misaka
Best Group Costume: Sakura Kinomoto, Tomoyo Daidouji, Mira Kinomoto, and Shaoran Li as the Norns and Thor
Best Costume, Non-humanoid "Beast Costume": Aria as Carmen Miranda
Most Funny: Little Mermaid Athena Glory
Most Scary: Ryoko as a ghost
Best Costume Overall (the winner): Akari Mizunashi as Scheherazade

[robkelk]

Since BA's taking a break for a bit, I get to write this scene. Any complaints with it? (Yes, it does cut off this abruptly in the story document.)


While everyone was pondering who would get their votes in the costume contest, a late-model Subaru pulled into the parking lot.

Ayeka turned to Ben. "I was under the impression that everyone had already arrived."

"We met some special friends while we were trick-or-treating. and I invited the youngsters to the party."

"By 'special', do you mean people like us?" Ayeka's gesture encompassed everyone already at the party.

Ben simply nodded as he watched two schoolgirls get out of the car. At first glance, it looked like they had come straight from Tomoeda Elementary and Juuban Middle School, and people who hadn't been paying attention took a quick look around the courtyard for Sakura Kinomoto and Usagi Tsukino... then realized (some more quickly than others) that these were the two new guests from across town.

"Rodesu-san!" The girl dressed as Sakura waved to the party's host.

"Nanoha! And Fate!" Ben added, looking at the girl dressed as Usagi. "Welcome to our party!" He walked over to the car, stopping just short so that Nanoha's father didn't door him as he got out. "And I welcome you as well, Takamachi-san."

[Dartz]

I have to ask how the hell you're managing to be some damned creative and actually produce output on the drop of a hat when I'm taking months to create a paragraph - and the best I can manage otherwise is a semi-troll post in Fenspace about building an RBMK on Frigga.

I mean, I'm sure everyone here's working as much as I am and otherwise has somewhere along the same level of life distractions - but here I am just staring at GDocs

[Dragonflight]

Taco Town Terror

<stares bleary-eyed at the screen.> I have no clue what's being written, so I'm a little confused that Rob asked me to vote on something. The only thing I had pop into my mind, totally out of place, was that the title should absolutely not be the aforementioned one, unless Sonata Dusk was making an appearance.

[robkelk]

Taco Town Terror

<stares bleary-eyed at the screen.> I have no clue what's being written, so I'm a little confused that Rob asked me to vote on something. The only thing I had pop into my mind, totally out of place, was that the title should absolutely not be the aforementioned one, unless Sonata Dusk was making an appearance.

Okay, something odd happened there. I thought I had copied the link for post #215 in this thread.
EDIT: Yes, that was the link that I emailed you...

[robkelk]

Did a bit of scene re-arranging, arc welding, and tyop - er, typo fixing.

[Dragonflight]

A... Hallowe'en party, involving random anime characters from across the multiverse? Sorry if I seem a little confused, but I just got thrown into the deep end here, and I'm trying to sort it out. I also just had a fairly large scene play through my mind involving Sonata Dusk from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls making an appearance and getting an assist with a current problem of hers by Fate. Definitely crackfic territory...

[Labster]

Taco Town Terror

<stares bleary-eyed at the screen.> I have no clue what's being written, so I'm a little confused that Rob asked me to vote on something. The only thing I had pop into my mind, totally out of place, was that the title should absolutely not be the aforementioned one, unless Sonata Dusk was making an appearance.

I kind of made a point of including my bad ideas.  But hey, let me look up who that is real fast:

Sonata mentions that she once accidentally started a fire by putting tacos in a toaster.

You can make this happen, right Rob?

I have to ask how the hell you're managing to be some damned creative and actually produce output on the drop of a hat when I'm taking months to create a paragraph - and the best I can manage otherwise is a semi-troll post in Fenspace about building an RBMK on Frigga.

I mean, I'm sure everyone here's working as much as I am and otherwise has somewhere along the same level of life distractions - but here I am just staring at GDocs

Well I have a white-collar job so I get to be a lazy sonofabitch.  The nuclear reactor posts were really good, just not what I was in the mood to read lately.  But formatted as a proper blog it seems like the kind of thing Hacker News might like.

I don't quite know what it's like to be out of ideas.  Out of motivation, yeah, all the time.  But Rob set a deadline and I get much more motivated by deadlines.  Back when I had a dog last month, I used to let my mind wander on the story while taking our daily walk.  Sometimes it's a story passage I'm working through.  Sometimes it's just being open to the world.  I see a homeless person living in his van with two dogs, how does my character feel?  Or a different character?  A muscle car drives by; do I have a character who covets it?  Or do I have a character who wants to race?  Hey look, there's an ominous stormcloud, what if something bad happens in a rainstorm?

I still think you made it hard on yourself by choosing characters who don't have clear personalities set in canon, and don't necessarily have human emotions.  (I'd play it that they think they don't, but they really do, see also DWII.)  But there's still enough background about what they are to make it interesting.  Say that one of your characters falls for a guy.  A human.  Does she hate herself for it?  If not, does one of the other girls?  Maybe it's a hypocritical hate from the friend, because she's in love with a girl but doesn't want to admit it.  Maybe it's the same girl.  Your subject matter actually tends towards josei, because the 33-Stars are women protagonists dealing with adult trauma.  Maybe you could read/watch a little to get ideas.  And keep asking questions, then write down the answers.

[Bob Schroeck]

Might I suggest Tenchi Masaki go as Ranma Saotome? Of course, the big question becomes, can you get Ayeka into an Akane costume? Or is she someone else, because Ryoko was not compelled to dress as Shampoo or Ukyo?

Other suggestions:

Mihoshi Kuramitsu: James Bond
Washuu Hakubi: Shirley Temple (which plays off how her English voice performer used a Shirley Temple voice for her a couple times)

Sousuke Sagara: G.I. Joe (either a generic per the original action figure, or your choice of cartoon character)
Kurz Weber: Hugh Hefner. Or Leisure Suit Larry.
Melissa Mao: Blake Belladonna

Regardless of my suggestions above, Rob, I think your suggestions for contest winners are just fine, although I have a soft spot for Tomo in full Prince mode -- maybe a special award to her for "Best In-character Presentation/Performance"?

[robkelk]

A... Hallowe'en party, involving random anime characters from across the multiverse? Sorry if I seem a little confused, but I just got thrown into the deep end here, and I'm trying to sort it out.

Yeah, pretty much.

The question on the table is "whose costumes are the best?"

I also just had a fairly large scene play through my mind involving Sonata Dusk from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls making an appearance and getting an assist with a current problem of hers by Fate. Definitely crackfic territory...

Y'know, that would actually fit into this universe.

[Labster]

Yeah, Dragonflight's idea would totally work, maybe you should write with us.

Might I suggest Tenchi Masaki go as Ranma Saotome?

You are a genius.

Sousuke Sagara: G.I. Joe (either a generic per the original action figure, or your choice of cartoon character)
Kurz Weber: Hugh Hefner.  Or Leisure Suit Larry.
Melissa Mao: Blake Belladonna

Mao meets meeeow!  </yang>

Regardless of my suggestions above, Rob, I think your suggestions for contest winners are just fine, although I have a soft spot for Tomo in full Prince mode -- maybe a special award to her for "Best In-character Presentation/Performance"?

Yeah, the fact she didn't get an award is a total Rig, two million illegal votes, you know what I mean.