Incidental Bits Thread #3

[robkelk]

He re-read the order that had come down from headquarters, then tossed the printout over his shoulder. "Grab an orphan with no friends in this reality? No problem. Grab an orphan who's being protected by Accelerator and Sailor Moon? To quote Avon from Blake's 7, 'I am not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going.'"

[robkelk]

I know exactly where I'm going to use this line, but the story won't be publishable for a while yet. So... a distant teaser for something set after Valentine's Day...

---

Skuld came to a realization for the first time in her celestial existence: She was wrong about something.

[Dartz]

"I am fully functional in every way. I am programmed with multiple techniques - a broad variety of pleasuring"

"So, you're a sexaroid like us? I never knew there were male ones...."

"...no. That would not be an accurate description."

Data didn't need an emotion chip to demonstrate a thorough level of being appalled at the idea.

[robkelk]

"So this is where you've been living in this reality," Misuzu Misaka said with some approval. "It looks like it's more comfortable than most student housing is."

"In some ways, yeah," Mikoto replied to her mother as they walked into the common room. "And there are some people here who you need to meet." Railgun took a quick look around, seeing only her sparring partner – who was setting out a plate of mixed-berry tarts on the table nearest the coffee machine.

She noticed the newcomers, stood straight, and smiled. "You must be Mikoto's mother! I'm happy to meet you. My name's Makoto Kino."

Misuzu stood quietly, surprise on her face. "Why do you have the same voice as me, Ms. Kino?"

[robkelk]

"I had a boyfriend for about a week," Yomi admitted. "But he kept calling me 'Yummy', so I dumped him."

[robkelk]

Appartements Mont-Royal Sud, Montreal, QC, Canada
January 21, 2017

"Heroic Spirits, Sweets Spirits, and now an actual ghost," Cassiopée said to herself. "Nobody warned me that I'd be administering a haunted building."

[Norgarth]

Appartements Mont-Royal Sud, Montreal, QC, Canada
January 21, 2017

"Heroic Spirits, Sweets Spirits, and now an actual ghost," Cassiopée said to herself. "Nobody warned me that I'd be administering a haunted building."

"Hey, toots, I'm not just any ghost, I'm the Ghost with the Most, know what I mean?"

[Vulpis]

"I had a boyfriend for about a week," Yomi admitted. "But he kept calling me 'Yummy', so I dumped him."

Hopefully, he didn't have a habit of yelling 'Happy Birthday!'  (See Kamen Rider OOOs to get the joke.. :-) )

[robkelk]

One for the forum only, not for AO3's "Vignettes" collection

---

"Touma," Index asked with suspicion, "are you thinking something impure?"

"Hey, they're very cute and not much older than me! I'm only human. Right, guys?" He turned to the other males in residence, expecting moral support.

He didn't get it.

"I have a girlfriend and would never think such things about somebody else," Shigae said.

"Likewise, doubly so," added Rob.

"And I have a fiancée who I love very much," Mamoru said.

Accelerator shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care. You're on your own."

As Index moved to chastise him, Touma muttered, "Just my luck..."

[robkelk]

"Hey, Bob, remember this Crossover That Should Not Be?"

"Vaguely. What about it?"

Rob grinned. "You forgot Charlie McGee. Now guess how many of the characters are displacees."

[Bob Schroeck]

<snrk> SI!me has a better memory than I do.

[robkelk]

"She's in the family way."

The Sweets Spirits didn't understand.

"She's in a delicate condition. She's carrying a bundle of joy. She's waiting for a special delivery. She's knocked up. She's expecting the stork to visit."

They still didn't understand.

"She's ... got a bun in the oven?"

The Sweets Spirits finally smiled. "Oh! That's great! When's the baby due?"

[Dartz]

The rabbit's dead. She's up the duff. She's got a snapper. She's moving to England. She's up the pole. She's eating for two. She's not drinking for a bit.

[robkelk]

Caster: "There she is!"
Saber: "Where?"
Caster: "There!"
Saber: "What? Behind Usagi?"
Caster: "It is Usagi!"
Saber: "You silly sod!"
Caster: "What?"
Saber: "You got us all worked up!"
Caster: "Well, that's no ordinary schoolgirl."
Saber: "Ohh."
Caster: "That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered senshi you ever set eyes on!"

[robkelk]

Mondegreen, anyone?

---

"If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flour in your hair..."

Vanilla frowned and said, "I don't think that's the right lyric, Caramel."

[robkelk]

The Anything Goes Café's very first ad in The Xaverian ran beside an ad listing what was showing at the university's movie night that week. Ranma looked at both ads, then said, "I have to have read that wrong."

Akane looked over his shoulder. After a moment, she said, "Yeah, that says Kubo and the Two Strings, not Kuno and the Two Strings."

"Oh, good. But now I can only think of the movie title that I read. 'I would play them both!'"

They both laughed.

Finally, Akane asked, "I wonder where Kuno-sempai is."

Ranma grimaced. "If I don't see him again, it'll be too soon."

[robkelk]

"Where did you find Choco Pies in Canada?"

"They're not really Choco Pies," Ruiko replied to Usagi. "These are called Wagon Wheels. The marshmallow's between cookies, not vanilla cakes."

"Cookies? Not Graham crackers?"

Ruiko knew where this conversation was going, but decided to play along. "You're thinking of Moon Pies."

"We need to find Moon Pies here. Your Moon Princess demands it!"

"You want Moon Pies, not mooncake?"

"That would be even better! But the Moon Festival was last month." Usagi got a dreamy look on her face. "I want to go to a festival..."

"Don't get all moony on us, Usagi."

Off to one side, Minako sighed, then returned to texting Tomo. "Did you ever have to listen to somebody who thought any joke worth telling was worth running into the ground?"

[Labster]

Tomo: Once in a blue moon

[Dartz]

M-O-O-N that spells Usagi

[robkelk]

"You enjoyin' that sandwich, are you?"

"Yes, thank you," Ami said with a straight face.

[robkelk]

Another exchange from a story that I'm working on...

---

"Which means you probably got here just a moment ago," Rob said as he sat down across from Belldandy. Seeing the mugs on the table – one glass and one copper, his fake grin turned into a real smile. "Heh, I'm having a mixed drink and you're having a beer. It just goes to show you can't always trust a stereotype."

"Beer is the traditional drink in Valhalla," she pointed out with a smile of her own.

[Dartz]

Who is this?

Someone whose ability to manage a residence is far below what their interview suggested it was...

--------
An incompetent little Pluto of a man, a planetoid of a human being far rounder than he is tall, with a permanently bewildered expression of incomprehension on his face, an ignorant glassy gleam in his eyes, a dubious capability to use cut and paste and the hope that everyone else will sort his problems out if he just hits Ctrl-c, ctrl-v and Send Messag and doesn't reveal his inability to actually think about a damned thing.

He doesn't understand the thing's he's insisting on were rendered redundant by events that have long since escaped his cognitive capabilities. And the entire world has just moved on.

------

[AvrosRaven]

this comes from my ranma fic, but i thought i might share it because its funny.

There is a very specific reason why I hate small, perverted old men and that reason was bounding toward a gaggle of girls with such a face of utter glee and reckless abandon that it made me legitimately throw up, promptly scaring those girls away and thus incurring the wrath of the tiny man. Which I promptly laughed at.

[Dartz]

It occurs to me that the 'Brewsters Millions' approach to Happosai may be the best option.

[AvrosRaven]

first i need to beat the utter crap out of him first.

ok, can someone explain what that means? I cant quite understand it.