Ah! I Bleed...
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Ah! I Bleed...
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Whoooo. Glazius Falconar just savaged chapter six on the FFML. I'm still kind of stunned by it, so it's going
to be a little while before I reply, if I reply at all. -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. 
Whoa. Someone who DIDNT like Messarina of Tolkabe, eh?
I hate to say it, but do give some thought to his points. Its the guys who hate stuff that tend to find gaff's that the rest of us miss. Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
Yeah, I know... but the vitriol dripping from it puts me off at the moment.
-- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. 
I had to run and take care of something, but rest assured that if he hasn't been toasted by the rest of the redership, I'm gonna blast him pretty good.
I will hand it to him, though... that's not quite as much vitriol as I was expecting.
Sometimes I get a little over-sensitive, I will admit. But there was indeed vitriol.
And thanks, in advance. -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak.
Huh...I'm not a member of the FFML, is there a web version of the material somewhere? Failing which, is there any way I can get see what he said? See...I
assume this Glazius Falconar is the same guy I used to correspond with several years ago. Has to be, I think, I doubt it's a common nickname. -- Acyl
http://www.sanjiyan.co.uk...ms/showthread.php?t=12777
doink "No can brain today. Want cheezeburger." From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
Ok, so he didnt like parts. I dont see where your claiming Vitrol, though. If he'd been taking apart a chapter of TotW, I'd be estatic that someone
looked that hard at it and was giving me feedback about it. Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children  Quote: Star Ranger4 wrote: It sounded like he was wanting a *lot* more of Chris thinking, yet far less portrayal of character of Doug. Although I also get the impression that there's maybe one story in all of Internet Space that might not meet with his approval anyway.... -- "You know how parents tell you everything's going to fine, but you know they're lying to make you feel better? Everything's going to be fine." - The Doctor
it sounds to me like he wants the same story, told by different authors... he gripes about the exposition, location and cosmology... guess what? it's kinda
necessary for these authors to do their thing... the technobabble about how mara got into this mess and what's necessary to get her out... it's technobable. if you don't like it, you're not a geek... you don't have to understand it... bell getting the runaround... well, if he's 3-omni, then obviously he knows why bell is calling and has a reason for putting her off.... if she was calling about a volcano popping up down the street that started spewing fluffy bunnies and snowflakes, i suspect that the call would have been taken... i could address the rest of his points, too, but since he's not going to read them, it's moot. i liked the story and, if there was a little bit of deus ex machina to get to this point (mara has cancer of the plot), it's no different from any other story where the enterprises's engines have a cascading antimatter containment failure that scotty/lafroge&data need 23 minutes to fix caused by a lucky hit from a previously unknown enemy that uses pink torpedoes instead of the yellow ones they're used to... -Z, Post-reader at Medium ---- If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization. Quote: Zojojojo wrote: Possibly, but it also might mean that the Almighty has decided to see if Bob Marley was right in his assertion that ganja is a sacrament and may be completely out of His face and unable to find His feet, much less the phone, and that the volcano is the result of said state of being. Ebony the Black Dragon http://ebony14.livejournal.com "Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you." 
Bell getting the runaround and the mystic technobabble he complains about is stuff I chalked up to the In Nomine influence. It's not really a standard OMG
universe, it doesn't all work the way presented in the manga and anime, the hierarchy and organization is set up differently. Is the mystic-babble on Mara's condition and ward-cracking essentially meaningless? Well, yes. So what? XXX-babble is always meaningless, hence the "babble" part of the term. It's also necessary if only to give the impression that the characters understand the problem. Doug's confession was mostly flashbacks to things we've seen, things we might never see, and things we won't see in the series, which I liked. It may have been aimed more at people who are already fans of the series. Plotwise, it was a list of stuff he feels kind of bad about, things he could have handled better, events for which he wishes there had been a better way, etc. It was about clearing his headspace and getting some emotional release and peace so he can concentrate on the task before him, not about exploring whether or not these things were morally justified in the larger picture. On the one hand, Glazius wants the story stripped down by removing Doug's confession and explanations. On the other hand, he wants Chris soul-searching on the edge of infinity. I think I have to agree with Zojojojo, "he wants the same story, told by different authors." ---------- No, I don't believe the world has gone mad. In order for it to go mad it would need to have been sane at some point.
I figured it out.
Glazius is in love with Chris, and is jealous of Doug! "No can brain today. Want cheezeburger." From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies
Er. Thought he went about it in a sarcastic way but I thought his points were still actual points if maybe not to the importance that he seems to think they
have. I do agree with this line in particular: "because I find it very hard to believe that they're all just there because of the savory taste of imported regret, and don't really care one way or the other that anything actually changes." Unfortunately, this is probably tied up with the whole Catholic idea of confess and be free and I've never really understood that either. This is particularly problematic given how much that idea is tied up with the scene so caveat on the opinion below. I think this scene would have been really hard to pull off given how personal or how emotional religion is in general. It is perhaps inevitable something's going to stick the wrong way, although it being based off of AMG helps. This scene is just really weird from my opinion for a similar reason. It makes the gods look like vultures that somehow feed upon depression, regret, and evil energy. It's not bad - the idea of evil gods or at least morally ambiguous gods is not a new one even in this universe - but I get the idea that AMG goddesses and gods starting to appear like Queen Beryl and Metallia with better PR firms is probably not the right impression I'm supposed to get from this scene. Also, someone mentioned off the teaser that they were having a hard time understanding how Paradox would fit into something as, well, private as a confession is. Plot-wise, well, I see why he potentially needs to be there, probably as part of his becoming and really accepting full godhood and all that entails. I do think that that too added to the overall surreal feeling of that scene. I agree with two other points of his. It seemed like character exposition/growth all happened off screen, but I think it happened for both Doug and Paradox. Paradox's, of course, happened when he went off and disappeared, but the focus on Paradox's experience of eating negative energy during the confession scene seemed to block Doug's own character growth. (Perhaps irreverently, the phrase "addition by subtraction - for reals!" was also running through my head during that scene) Megumi's monolithic hate for Mara does seem odd, but since we've never been able to see inside her head, it's hard to relate to her but I'm sure something is happening there. I thought it was an odd chapter overall and constrained by the necessity of setting up for the next chapter although I have liked and still like the fic as a whole.
i think megumi's beef is legitimate... until recently, her memories of her encounters with mara had been sanitized.. now that she remembers all that's
happened, and understands that she was being used as a proxy-target, i can understand how she'd hate mara. most people don't like being manipulated anyway, but having it done and not knowing about it is much worse when you find out about it... i can understand her position -Z, Post-reader at Medium ---- If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Okay, finally relooked at Glazius' comments at a time that wasn't oh-my-god in the morning and I wasn't running on fumes. The vitriol that I
thought was there was primarily the work of my fried imagination. More than that I can't say, because I just ran out of lunchtime here at work. And between a hop over to the Saturn dealer for regular service on the car plus Helen coming over for another night-o-videos and DW13 planning, I doubt I will until tomorrow sometime. Sorry... -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak.
Oi, I think this guy just doesn't quite get it. In fact, I'd bet willing to be that he hated Neon Exodus Evangelion as well. I've got a few choice arguments in mind as soon as I can get myself an FFML account going...
On Mara is Dying... Yeah, so there's going to be techno babble. There was techno babble in the AMG anime for crying out loud. He's gonna honestly pick at something that's cannonical for the characters? Puh-leeeeze... On God is Being Inscrutable... Sure, Bell-chan obviously would not get the runaround. But guess what? This is God we're talking about here. You know? G. O. D. Tha' man himself. If he wishes for Bell-chan to get the runaround, then he's gonna get it whether the other lesser Gods like it or not. Besides, he's forgtten the other part of what this is all drawing from. In Chris's OMB God is, for all intents and purposes, an asshole. On Megumi Updates Her Twitter... I agree whole-heartedly with Zojojojo. Megumi is righteously cheesed at Mara for being used and abused not just a couple of times, but continuously throughout the time she's known Bell-chan and her sisters. Give the girl some room to work out her aggressions, especially once Mara's back up on her feet (if that even happens?). Then Megumi can go ahead and have it out with her without fear of reprisal or outright killing her. On Chris Takes Time to Think... Sometimes it's best that things like this are left off-screen for the moment. That, and it makes for great flash-back fodder later on down the line. On War is Hell... Oh man, I can go on and on about this one... He's just given me so much ammo to do so! >"Ah ha!" I thought. "A siege engine!" I thought. "This is a clever nod >to Fujishima's borderline-fetishistic love of machines!" > >But it isn't. Not exactly. The difference is that, when you load a >goddess into the barrel of a lovingly-detailed Morser Karl >self-propelled 60-cm siege gun and fire her into heaven, the gun is >ultimately superfluous, and it's okay to be ludicrous. Whatever just >showed up on the doorstep, it's not going to be that detailed because >it's necessary. Uhm... Dude. They haven't even gotten to the scene where we get to 'see' the seige engine 'o' doom. Like, cliff hanger, yo! >First, if Hell really wanted a barrier down, they'd just send Hild, who >would peel off one limiter-studded glove to the temporary delight of any >unemployed saxophone players and blow a kiss that, when it connected, >would make Pluto the largest object in the now-inaccurately-named solar >system. Hild's probably got better things to do at the moment. 'Sides, Hell doesn't want that kind of firepower running loose - they'd lose the source of all those damned souls that are so yummy in their tummies. >So when Paradox Triggers and starts working his inexorable way up to >SSStylish, he doesn't need to be mowing through troops that are part of >or even led by Hell's top brass. They could be just a bunch of mooks >looking to get ahead by playing office politics when upper management is >perfectly content to, as it were, let Mara escort herself out of the >building once her retirement party's over. Uhm... From what we've seen, Mara's departure isn't exactly being taken lightly. Refer to this snippet from Chapter 6... Takano stood stock still for a moment as his mind raced. *A major defection? That could only mean a first class unlimited was running to the Other Side...* And *that* meant that this "delegation" was a *war party*, because a defector of that level was *always* protected by a fucking legion of angels until the process was done and they could bugger off to Heaven. Razielaingor was probably calling in every demon in the Kanto Plain, and then some. Okay. From what the character is thinking here, we can determine that what's being stated is Historical Fact. Ergo, Hell is indeed taking this very seriously. And why not? First Class Unlimiteds DO NOT grow on trees, not matter what alter-verse you're working in. And if they do in yours, then your name must be Marty Stu. They are, for all intents and purposes, irreplaceable because it is ever-so-difficult to find someone that you can trust to do what you want them to do with all that power without making a royal mess of things. Mara's misadventures with The Three don't really count because it's one-on-three. The fact that she can even make things difficult on them at all (to the point where they keep the heavenly equivilant of Fort Knox going all the time just as a deterent) is probably pleasing for The Devil himself. Also, another thing to consider, this is the entire Kanto Plain region... Have you ever been to freakin' Japan? You know what kind of population that is? This is a population density that New York's got nothing on! I know because I live there for at least four months out of a year. I've done Tokyo-during-rush-hour and it ain't a pretty picture. So, you can bet that there's a serious flippin' army sitting outside just waiting for the wall to come tublin' rumblin' on down, because the Boss himself probably said so. You don't divert that many demons, even if they're all minor ones, for something that is trivial. And if you do try to take that many cookies from the cookie jar, you're gonna get noticed and have your ass pounded for it. On Confession... The hell? What's with the mumbo jumbo? Let's get to the damn point first and elaborate later! >My ACTUAL point is: the specifics of the confession scene, including the >list of Doug's sins, really doesn't add anything, so if you're going to >put the scene in there you can probably elide the process. .... Oh, c'mon! That's just there for literary garnish. Without that, the scene would have been a kinda empty of atmosphere. Seriously. On Final Thoughts Dude, every story has its 'still' spots. These are usually the points where a lot of character development and introspection occurs, a delicious part of this balanced literary meal. If he wants things to be moving in a literal sense. Why doesn't he just go watch a movie instead? Obviously he can't stand to read. And those are my arguments, such as they are. Any thoughts before I post this?
No objections from me, BA. I have my own comments to make, but they are better placed in my eventual reply than as edits to yours.
-- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. Quote: blackaeronaut wrote:I saw the confession as two things. One, it develops Doug as a character, showing growth. Back in Book 2, he wouldn't have even thought about doing it. He'd still be angry with the Three for shoehorning him into this situation. And Two, it shows Chris developing as a god. At the end of this scene, he's that much closer to Getting It. Ebony the Black Dragon http://ebony14.livejournal.com "Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."
Yay! Glad to see you're still out there, Rob--I was starting to wonder if you'd dropped off the face of writing like Kenko apparently did (I want more
Girl Days, fragnabbit!) In any case...I'd say the writing was worth the wait. Despite the kvetching you've apparently gotten elsewhere, I'm not seeing much to complain about, other than things that I'm hoping get addressed in the next part. (Among other things, resolution of Megumi's hate issues--it sounds like she needs a Confession session, the need for Doug and Chris to take a trip to the Head Office and jack Kami-sama in the face a few times for his dickery, and the backstory of Doug's newly gained Blessed Staff of Ass-Whupping -and the resultant trip to punch out whoever was responsible for that bit of mayhem, presuming it wasn't more Kamidickery..) As for the much maligned Confession itself--it made perfect sense to me, actually. It's 'cleaning house' on the karmic/spiritual level, same as sleep is for the physical level and meditation is on the mental. With this particular kind of spell casting which focuses so heavily on the spiritial level instead of just pure power manipulation, failing to do so would have the same kind of negative effects the lack of the other two would. And, of course, it served to get Chris more in tune with his abilities and be more comfortable with himself, rather than trying so hard to hang on to being 'mundane' and resisting what he's become. A couple of odd thoughts of my own, though--first off, why do I have the feeling we'll be getting Stan Bush lyrics in the next section? ;-) And...out of curiousity--reading the very last few lines in this part, I wonder if either of you have read Terry Brooks' book 'Magic Kingdom for Sale Sold'? That bit reminds me very much of the climactic scene from that book (which I won't spoil unless asked), both in the particulars of the situation, and the emotions behind it. Edit: Oh, BTW--It's kinda funny to see a complaint about the wardbreaker being described as a magical siege engine...especially since Disney of all places has long since provided a handy visual referent for the thing that even fits perfectly with the 'world of data, with the deities as sysops' paradigm being used. Go watch 'Tron', and fast-forward to the scene with the 'logic probe'. ;-)
Kamidickery is my new favorite word
"No can brain today. Want cheezeburger." From NGE: Nobody Dies, by Gregg Landsman http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5579457/1/NGE_Nobody_Dies Quote: Wiredgeek wrote: *laugh* Blame the scans_daily community on LiveJournal--they've been using 'Batdickery', 'Superdickery', and 'Reeddickery' for the various SOB actions of Batman, Superman, and Reed Richards toward their own friends/family/allies for a while now. There's even a website dedicated to scans of Superman's 'efforts' though his history. AMG's Kami-sama's actions fit right in with this... ;-)
Thanks for the kind words, Vulpis. As for your hopes... Mm. Yes, Megumi's hate-on for Mara gets dealt with one way or another. Chris and Doug to the head office? Mm. Not so much. Backstory for Doug's stick of poking? Oh, definitely. And definitely discussion of kamidickery with the entity in question.
Re: Magic Kingdom etc.. I'm pretty sure I read it once, years ago. But damned if I can remember much of anything about it. -- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak.
Honestly, the confession, to me, simply would not work without the level of detail that's presented with it. It gets us inside Doug's head, gives an idea of how much shit he's been through, and makes real all the metaphyisical whatsitry that Chris and Bell and the rest are up to during it. It's also a very important scene in the development of both characters.
-- Sucrose Octanitrate. Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode. |
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