Songs of Limited And/Or Dubious Use

[Aleh]

I decided to start this thread to dump a collection of songs that fit under this category: they actually might have a use, so they don't qualify as songs that Doug should never play, but are not useful enough for their own threads. Some, of course, may qualify as misfires; for most of them, I have suggested powers.
9 Coronas ('99) - John Mammoser (Doug can cast Power Word: Slosh, but also it also effects Doug for the duration)
Salt And Sugar - The Gomers (For the duration of the song, Doug can transmute salt to sugar and vice versa)
Rosie Don't Bang On The Piano - Cliff Ferr w/ The Cafe Society Quintet (Area of effect: Obliviousness to Sexual Activity)
Alien Love - George McClure (Creates an amorous, attractive
female of obviously alien origin)
What I Like About Booze - DisTurbo (Creates a 'virtual liquor store'; while the song is playing, Doug can purchace any kind of cheap booze, the alcoholic beverage(s) appearing in his hand(s) instantaneously and the money vanishing from his pocket or bank account as he wishes. Prices are standard for the region Doug is currently in)
The Real Dick Cheney - Tom Perri (Allows Doug to see through any disguises or illusions... as long as said disguises or illusions are of Dick Cheney).
- Aleh, who is currently working on a Ranma fic in which Kunou decides the only way to beat the 'Foul Sorcerer' is to learn his ways... and is currently running around wearing a black helmet and calling himself 'Darth Kunou'.

[nemonowan]

Hi,
>Alien Love - George McClure (Creates an amorous, >attractive female of obviously alien origin)
Well, blame it on the influence of a local cartoonist,
or some obvious symbology in the Ridley Scott movie,
but I personally would expect that song to create an
amorous, MALE Geiger's Alien who isn't willing to take
his creator's "no" for an answer.
Of course, that would qualify the song both as a
misfire and as a "for God's sake never play it and
let's never even mention it again" song ^_^
NN

[jpub]

Don't make me go find the lyrics to a certain Joe Walsh song, which might possibly have the effect of...well...attribute enhancement on the female person, shall we say?
No, I'm not kidding.
Might make Doug pretty popular in some circles.
(runs and hides)--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel

[Aleh]

---

Well, blame it on the influence of a local cartoonist,
or some obvious symbology in the Ridley Scott movie,
but I personally would expect that song to create an
amorous, MALE Geiger's Alien who isn't willing to take
his creator's "no" for an answer.
Of course, that would qualify the song both as a
misfire and as a "for God's sake never play it and
let's never even mention it again" song ^_^

---

I'm afraid that that doesn't make sense given the lyrics of the song.- Aleh, who is currently working on a Ranma fic in which Kunou decides the only way to beat the 'Foul Sorcerer' is to learn his ways... and is currently running around wearing a black helmet and calling himself 'Darth Kunou'.

[nemonowan]

> I'm afraid that that doesn't make sense given the
> lyrics of the song.
I don't know them myself, but I suspected as much.
That's why I said it would be a misfire. After all,
Doug's subconscious would seem likely to object to
the summonning of exotic sex slaves.
Anyways, that's just my own first reaction to the
concept and the song title.
NN

[Guest]

---

- Aleh, who is currently working on a Ranma fic in which Kunou decides the only way to beat the 'Foul Sorcerer' is to learn his ways... and is currently running around wearing a black helmet and calling himself 'Darth Kunou'.

---

And there was much wincing.
Doug, may I borrow the seven paragraphs of "Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha" you're not getting away with slipping to Doug for the OMB step?
Thanks.

[Aleh]

---

I don't know them myself, but I suspected as much.
That's why I said it would be a misfire. After all,
Doug's subconscious would seem likely to object to
the summonning of exotic sex slaves.
Anyways, that's just my own first reaction to the
concept and the song title.

---

Actually, it would summon an 'exotic' WIFE. Complete with nagging and such, and at least one little alien Doug running around by the time the song wore off.- Aleh, who is currently working on a Ranma fic in which Kunou decides the only way to beat the 'Foul Sorcerer' is to learn his ways... and is currently running around wearing a black helmet and calling himself 'Darth Kunou'.

[Bob Schroeck]

Somebody's been listening to Dr. Demento... I just found John Mammoser's website last week, actually, after wondering if he were still around (my last exposure to him was almost 15 years ago).
Anyway, most of those songs I don't know, although I can make a bit of a guess on some. Especially given the comments from the other forum members. Anyway, I obviously can't comment on the appropriateness of the suggested powers, but I can say some of them are suitably twisted!
Oddly, "9 Coronas" makes me think of another song I heard on Demento -- I think it's Tom Waits, but I didn't keep the on-air attribution. It's called "The Piano Has Been Drinking", and if there was a song that could do an Area Effect: Falling Down Drunk, that would be it.


-- Bob
---------
And all the girlies say I'm pretty dry for a wet guy...

[Aleh]

The shows I listed are not only from Dr. Demento, but from one of his current webcasts. Take a peek in case you don't remember any of them.- Aleh, who is currently working on a Ranma fic in which Kunou decides the only way to beat the 'Foul Sorcerer' is to learn his ways... and is currently running around wearing a black helmet and calling himself 'Darth Kunou'.

[Herr Bad Moon]

---

Don't make me go find the lyrics to a certain Joe Walsh song, which might possibly have the effect of...well...attribute enhancement on the female person, shall we say?

---

There are certain Sir-Mix-A-Lot songs that do this as well.---------------
"A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished. Oh the Jedi are gonna feel this one."
-Professor Farnsworth
---
Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"

[classicdrogn]

---

Alien Love - George McClure (Creates an amorous, attractive female of obviously alien origin)

---

... I think if I ever get around to writing more of the FLCL/DBZ fusion that I have a few scenes of and a note file for, I'm going to have to remember this song... My Naota's father accuses him of having The Curse of the Space Hotties at one point (only being attracted to alien girls) and at another point worries that whatever his father has (in reference to being a manga otaku who goes so far as to dress like his favorite character every day and sees nothing wrong with adding a household robot to 'the plot') is catching.
The ame of this little hell-cake? FLZCLZ, Furii-Zi Kuri-Zi, or Freezy Crazy, depending on how far you want to take your romanization. It might even end up a side story to something fitting the more mainstream role of DBZ, since while Medical Mechanica and Pirate Lord Atomsk fit right in with the existence of a planet trade, even Atomsk-boosted Naota a few years more developed is no match for DBZ villains beyond mid-level Freeza Goons, and that's if they don't stand off and throw big fireballs.
- CD, a specialist in fusions from the abysssal depths... Transformers: The Beasstly Bubble Gum Machine and Bastard Pair!! are still waiting in the wings.
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Ebony]

---

Oddly, "9 Coronas" makes me think of another song I heard on Demento -- I think it's Tom Waits, but I didn't keep the on-air attribution. It's called "The Piano Has Been Drinking", and if there was a song that could do an Area Effect: Falling Down Drunk, that would be it.

---

One of my favorites, although I didn't hear it on Dr. Demento. I have that CD, which is called "Small Change" and has some lovely songs with terrific Waits imagery. It also has "Pasties and a G-string," which I did hear on Dr. Demento many years ago (making it the first Waits song I ever heard). Waits turns a burlesque drum beat into a song about, well, stripping (natch). I don't think it'd be much use to Doug though. Summon Strip Club, maybe.
John Mammoser is a local boy, and I wasn't aware he was still around. I remember "9 Coronas" from my first Dr. Demento bootleg tape, when I was 17. There's a line in the song that talks about "LBJ not being wide enough after 9 Coronas." Dallasites know Interstate 635 as LBJ Freeway, running east-west through North Dallas.
This bit of trivia brought to you by the letters Q and X, and the number pi.
Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[Bob Schroeck]

---

One of my favorites, although I didn't hear it on Dr. Demento. I have that CD, which is called "Small Change" and has some lovely songs with terrific Waits imagery.

---

I'm glad I remembered or figured out who it was properly... Now I'll have to go look for that disk.

---

It also has "Pasties and a G-string,"

---

Another delightfully twisted Waits number that I have on one of my Demento tapes. Cool, a two-for-one.

---

John Mammoser is a local boy, and I wasn't aware he was still around.

---

Oh, yeah... he's here
and here.
He used to have a section on MP3.com, but since that went under, it's gone.


-- Bob
---------
And all the girlies say I'm pretty dry for a wet guy...

[Aleh]

Bob Rivers - "Yellow Snow" - It starts snowing, every dog in the area of effect suddenly has to... err... go.
Unknown (Attributed to Dr. Demento) - "Squirrels" - For the duration of the song, Doug is turned into a squirrel, but every human who sees him gains a shotgun and a compulsion to hunt squirrels. This is a bad thing.
Bob Rivers - "Chipmunks Roasting" - Create Food: two Disney-esque chipmunks, skewered through the nose and roasting on an open fire. Unfortunately for anyone who wants to eat them, they're still alive and talking (mainly complaints about their present condition) for the duration of the song.
Bob Rivers - "Marijuanaville" - Area of effect: stone, also a possible simulacrum song for massive quantities of homegrown.
Bob Rivers - "Frosty the Pervert" - Simulacrum: Don't Ask.- "I suppose that, technically, the existance of the Association of Foul Sorcerers is my fault, but, damnit, I was joking when I told them that they should unionize!"

[Kokuten]

Michael Longcor - Truck Drivin Vampire.
During the night, gives doug the standard package of vampire abilities, the ability to drive an 18-wheeler, and an 18-wheeler to drive.. with a box of mississippi delta dirt in the back of the sleeper cab, a coal-black seed corn cap, and a jet black cape with his CB handle embroidered on the back.

--- Kokuten Daysleeper, Retired Epicced Officered DorfWire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[classicdrogn]

If the 'Squirrels' you're talking about is a parody of the Beastie Boys' 'Girls' then it's by the Beastly Boys.
- CD Squirrels... all we really are is squirrels... we're being hunted we are squirrels... please come and save us we are squirrels...
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows

[Aleh]

Yep, sounds like it, but the lines you listed don't quite match.- "I suppose that, technically, the existance of the Association of Foul Sorcerers is my fault, but, damnit, I was joking when I told them that they should unionize!"