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TGNH Ch. 6
TGNH Ch. 6
#1
But only a little piece of it, for now.


"Yuuhi Kin'aka! You get yourself back here right now!"
Konoha's central market district was large enough that outraged parents and runaway children were anything but unusual. there was usually a policeman fairly close by, though, so most ninja never took any notice of it. Blatant provocation of a security force intended to enforce order on a ninja population was something that all but the most foolish criminals were not willing to engage in, and and never had been, to the extent that Konoha's criminal community had come to take a sowrt of backwards pride in the fact taht an unescorted child could be as safe in the city's worst districts as they would have been in their own home.
on the other hand, the mission commander that the Genin of Team Seven had been waitin in this ramen stand to meet was named Yuuhi Kurenai, and hte Yuuhi were far from being the most populous of Konoha's traditional ninja clans.
Sakura set her almost emptied bowl down with a quiet tap. Sasuke didn't react past and acknowledging twitch of one hand - but that was almost coming to be expected from him - and Naruto's mouth was too full for him to manage more than a muffled grunt and a cheerful wave. Teammates thus reassured, she nodded to herself and dove into the crowd.
The waist-high black-and-white figure that ducked under on shopper's basket-laden arm with a giggle then pelted perilously close in front of the hissing hulk of a steam-riven delivery truc was certainly colored right, so Sakura twisted between a flock of chattering housewives to scoop the child up from behind.
Kin'aka - with those trademark Yuuhi blazing red eyes the child couldn't possibly be anyone else - proved to be a girl of about half her captor's age, with a white dress that suited her (also characteristicof the Yuuhi) pitch-black hair quite well, and would have made her looked devestatingly cute if she hadn't been coated head to toe in dirt, grime, and something sticky that smelled vaguely of plums. She regarded the older girl holding her easily off the ground solemnly and asked, "Are you a good ninja or a bad ninja?"
Sakura felt every hair on her body try to stand straight up. "Yes," purred a woman's voice from just outside her field of view. "Do tell - which are you?"
Fortunately, within the secure zone of Konoha's walls, a Jounin would be willing to talk and question for a moment, at least in a stable situation, rather than immediately taking whatever drastic action seemed called for. So she had time to turn and smile and offer an armful of increasingly dismayed little girl - with hands carefully placed to be both in full view and well away from any leverage points or vital spots. "I do my best, Kurenai-sensei."
"Ah," said the elder as the motion brought the sigil on her forehead protector into plain view, and no more. She took her daughter in one arm and settled the poiuting girl's weight easily onto one hip. She used the pause that produced in the conversation to give the younger ninja a long, searching look. "Thank you, Miss?"
"Haruno Sakura," and she bowed, "We were waiting at the meting point and heard you yelling... Sasuke-kun's hopeless with people, and Naruto's just hopeless, period, so they're still back there and probably settling the bill before they catch up."
Despite the harsh phrasing her face and tone were fond, and Kurenai smiled to see it. "Ah," she said again, more warmely. She had been concerned that the positive tenor of their teacher's reports ahd come from his irrational urge to be 'fair' and avoid anything even resembling a personal attack, but if anything he had been understating the case. That didn't neccessarily mean that he was also correct about their teamwork and individual skills, of course, but it wwas a good omen. "Well, I was going to have her and her sisters safely at their godfather's before I met you so we could leave, so"
"No!" Kin'aka interrupted, burying her face in her mother's shoulder and wrapping her in the fiercest grasp her immature body could manage. "Mama's staying here!"
Sakura reminded herself forcibly that it wasn't wise to giggle at Jounin. "We could help?" she offered. "And leave straight from there?"
Kurenai gave her a thankful smile and let the Genin slip her field pack off her shoulder without disturbing the crying child. "Please. If you could get your teammates and meet me at Yin'san's shop - he's watching the other two...?"
"Right!" she nodded. "On it!"


Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#2
Quote:
sowrt of backwards pride in the fact taht
sort, that
Quote:
on the other hand, the mission commander that the Genin of Team Seven had been waitin in this ramen stand to meet was named Yuuhi Kurenai, and hte Yuuhi
Cap. O, waiting, the
Quote:
didn't react past and acknowledging
'past an'
Quote:
ducked under on shopper's basket-laden arm with a giggle then pelted perilously close in front of the hissing hulk of a steam-riven delivery truc was
'one shopper's,' truck
Quote:
(also characteristicof the Yuuhi) pitch-black hair quite well, and would have made her looked devestatingly
missing space, no '-ed' on 'looked'
Quote:
the poiuting girl's weight
pouting
Quote:
the meting point
meeting
Quote:
reports ahd come
had
Otherwise... yay Kurenai! The Naruto hoittie that's NOT either jailbait or a granny under a semi-permanent disghuise jutsu! (Anko is also fine, but too scary, and ... grumblemuttercurse... Tsunade's helper-girl - is more "cute" than "sexy")

- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#3
Quote:
Otherwise... yay Kurenai! The Naruto hoittie that's NOT either jailbait or a granny under a semi-permanent disghuise jutsu! (Anko is also fine, but too scary, and ... grumblemuttercurse... Tsunade's helper-girl - is more "cute" than "sexy")
*observes list of errors*
Yeah, you can definitely tell that I was typing way too fast.
And, indeed, yay Kurenai!
Of course, she's married in this timeline, but that doesn't mean it's not nice to see her.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#4


"So, so, what are we doing?" Naruto asked when Kurenai had gotten her daughters settled and sent one of Naruto's clones to inform Team Eight to meet them at the main gate. "I mean, yeah, security, but what movie and where and what threats and-"
Sakura hit him across the back of the head, and he reached up around the hilt of the sword he'd taken to carrying on his back to rub at the spot and give her an injured look.
Kurenai smiled to herself. Really, these three were rather charming, and the Jinchuuriki was almost normal beside the expected bloodthirst and borderline insanity.
"Idiot," said the Uchiha, in a tone that would have hidden his amusement and fondness from anyone but a Jounin. "She'll brief us some time after we link up with Anko-sensei's team."
"Like now," a fifth voice inserted as the remaining three Genin assigned to this mission fell into step.
"Like now," she agreed, with an acknowledging nod to the tall, solemn boy who had spoken. A bloodline heavy team, from the briefing materials that had been provided on them, with an Inuzuka and Hyuuga on top of the Aburame scion who seemed to be their leader.
Laying out the basics of what would be expected of them and the most likely complications didn't take any thought to speak of, and she used the opportunity to evaluate her subordinates while their minds were occupied with something else.
Both of the teams were welded into cohesive wholes in ways that she'd never seen displayed by rookies before. Usually it took several years for even the most compatible trio to shake down this thoroughly, to become this comfortable with each other. But the way Hinata and Kiba were so secure in their confidence in the insectoid outriders Shino was using to scout the party's path, without being simply unaware of his measures - the way the three members of Team Seven covered each others' blind spots and always seemed to be watching different thirds of the forest around them, without even needing to pay attention to it...
She had been skeptical about the idea of using Special Jounin to instruct Genin cells, and, in fact, still was, but the fundamental precept behind the scheme seemed to be proving out. The more social, less field-oriented aspects of a Special's missions had evidently allowed them the experience to more effectively pass on their expertise. Kurenai, personally, didn't think that the loss of early field experience and the occaisional holes that would result from the sensei's weaker fields were neccessarily going to be worth it in the long run, but if a better instructional framework could be worked up based on the experience - as she'd heard rumors of being done - and passed on to the full Jounin-sensei, rather than having them make things up as they went along, then the best of both approaches might be combined.
All that was for another day, though. For now, her task was to evaluate and make use of the material she had been handed.
It wasn't likely to be a chore. Probably the weakest in the group was Kiba, and he was a fairly standard Inuzuka - not a clan known for inability in combat. A rather agressive fellow left to his own devices, if she read him right, but Inuzuka responded extremely well to properly established authority and that, at least, would be no problem.
The behavior of the Aburame bug colonies when exposed to high emotions in their hosts meant that Shino's tight self-control was hardly a surprise, but that didn't mean it wasn't a good omen. His questions about her briefing suggested a first-rate tactical mind, also, which might make him a good deputy for her off-shifts. Likewise, the practiced ability in his movements and handling of the outrider bugs would indicate a more than adequate degree of martial skill. She'd have to remember to put some money on his name in the pool for the next Chuunin exam.
No, the surprise in Team Eight was the Hyuuga. There had been no small number of rumors about the difficulties Konoha's leading clan had been having with their heir, decrying weak chakra, cowardly personality, and various other flaws. She was noticably shy, true, but her chakra was actually quite impressive, though erratic, and her few, quiet words managed to both stabalize her teammates and slip her own opinions in through the cracks of the discussion without ever calling attetion to their speaker. The obvious crush on the Jinchuuriki boy was just icing on the cake, since no coward would have had the nerve to even approach him.
That boy... Naruto. For his part, he seemed like a far more complicated matter to deal with than she had expected.


This isn't done, but there's a storm going, and I don't want to lose this.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#5
Just a quick comment:
Quote:
Kin'aka
I don't think the japanese have the habit of having " ' "s in thier names... Heck, you don't see it often in western names either![Image: Bansho.jpg]

Be the Ultimate Ninja! Play Billy Vs. SNAKEMAN today!
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#6
Quote:
I don't think the japanese have the habit of having " ' "s in thier names... Heck, you don't see it often in western names either!
Romanisation weirdness. See, transliterating the kana of her name most directly comes out to 'ki-n-a-ka'. But writing that directly as 'kinaka' makes it indistinguishable, in English, from 'ki-na-ka'. Granted that the latter is just nonsense, but it's still not her name. Hence the apostrophe/'okina.
Ja, -n
(Jeffrey's returns 'kin'aka' as 'bronze-red', BTW)

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#7
Since you seem to be inserting the Ice Princess movie between Wave and Chuunin Exams, I just wanted to ask - do you have the Ice Country down as being south, not-quite-Antarctica-like from the (presumed still southern-hemisphere, much-wetter-Australia-like) shinobi countries continent, or is is the far north, across the equator? For that matter, is it just the narrow strip south of Wind on your map?
- CD So does that make the Hokage monument Ayers' Rock?
ETA: Also, can you throw me a link to the first vhapter (not your profile page) on FFn so I can grab them off to archive?SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#8
It's a seperate island, maybe a bit smaller than Greenland but lacking an ice cap in favor of some mountains that'd be considered moderate if the climate were nicer, and to the south - unless I have a brain fart and forget, in which case it'll be retconned that way the moment I notice.
For reference, I usually assume that the maps Kishimoto's showed us cover an area about the size of Europe or the eastern US.
TGNH
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#9
Like this, or bigger?
[Image: spanishninja.jpg]
3-9 for the link!
- CD San-kyuu!SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#10
Once I get over the way my brain tries to jump a gear over the superimposed coastlines, yeah, that's about right...
Hmm. Snow country is going to have to get smaller, I think.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#11
Well, feel free to doodle over that if you want - I figured that Snow was just out Scandanavia-way. Incidentally, several other referenxce images I'd collected and/or made for TXY are still available if you backtrack one - here. Note that the path listed actually reflects my desktop machine and will get you nowhere online except 404 pages.
- CD
Speaking of refernce images - are you using Manga Size Konoha or Anime Size, and is it the capital of Fire as well or no? If so, the Daimyo's palace is probably somewhere on the edge - the big clear area at the left of the manga image, for example, since it's been shown that the Hokage;s tower is at the central axis of the main roads, and I'd expect them to want some separation. The arena is off that image to the right, most likely, in a simalar sort of position as its anime location, just vi8sible in the color picture. I think the manga version hokage mountain with the farming and training ares above is definately better, thoguh if that's the Forest of Death, stated to be 11km diameter, it makes Konoha even bigger than I'd thought... of course, it could well be a different training ground, but the river running through it that way makes me think it is indeed Training Area 44. SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#12
Manga, and the capitol.
BTW, I don't think that that circle could be the forest of death because:
1. At that scale, the Hokage monument would have to be thousands of feet tall relative to the surrounding countryside... which, from closer shots like Naruto's... artistic aspirations at the start of the tale... we know it to be nowhere near.
2. Likewise, while Konoha's surrounding wall is frickin' huge, it's not that tall.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#13
Put that way, I can't help but agree. The three-headed snake from the Sand/Sound invasion gives a pretty good reference to the height of the wall, thoghu I'd have to go back and watch the relevant episode(s) to be sure just how big it was. Luckily, I have time for that ATM. Will report back with screen grabs.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#14
ep 65-66 (special) Sasuke vs. Gaara -
6 Sand nin on the summoning cricle, four more overseeing, and nine or possibly ten Sound nin in the same place. From their outfits, they're all "generic jounin."
Sasuke looks espescially lame hanging upside down and lit by his own chidori. He's really got that "Dragonball constipation" look down. Going that far away to form it when his enemy was sitting inside a motionless ball of sand doesn't seem too bright either, considering how much effort it appears to take just to hold it active while he runs up to attack.
I didn't bother going as far as the snake, because there's a scene that pans down the wall to some guys at the foot, and I got parts to composite. Then I realised we were talking about the manga, antway, and went to look in there. DUUUH. I'll still put the composite together, though.
- CD
ETA: Okay, the composite of the wall in anime and the few good views I could find in the manga are now accessible from the index page I linked to just above. Oddly enoguh, they actually seem to agree about how big the thing is! There's also a few more misc manga shots - the frog that had the summoning scroll and that Jiraya uses in his introductions, another that's apparently a warrior monk, Sandaime-sama doing hand seals for Fuin: Shiki Fujin, and a good view of Monkey Boss Enma.
I make that wall out to 17 times as high as the guy most clearly standing upright, which would probably mean it's around 100ft tall or a little over, assuming a six foot tall man. SERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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It couldn't be... a COMMENT ABOUT THE FIC!!
#15
I just reread the other chapters, and had another attack of the "Ohhhhh shits!" moments... At the end of Ch5, there, where Hell Sakura takes out Neji and tells him that he can't escape destiny, it just didn't mean what he thought, being a slave to the Caged Bird seal... She just pulled off Snakepants' body swap, to get out of the hole Neshan dug her with his poison, didn't she?
Even if not... it still can't possibly be anything even remotely good.
- CDSERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
A kung-fu nun in a leather thong was no less extreme than anything else he had seen that day. - Rev. Dark's IST: Holy Sea World
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#16
I'm still working on this scene.
^_^

"Hey! You can't go in the-!"
Namae Shiro, Special Jounin of the Village Hidden by the Clouds and head of the Raikage's bodyguard detail, didn't scream as he died. The strike that shattered his ribcage like a raw egg and sprayed effluvia across the outer office was too quick and too sudden to give him time.
The medical technique that had replaced his blood's plasma with a powerful acid would have taken several seconds more to do the task, not that he would have been concious for it - even a Jounin's chakra-based physical conditioning wasn't enough to truly resist that level of trauma. In all honesty, it hadn't been meant to. The screaming started when the splattering mess started to eat its way ravenously through the flesh of his men.
The woman responsible stepped over what was left of the corpse that had started it and opened the door to the inner chamber without knocking.
The Raikage set down his pen calmly on the low table sitting in front of him and gestured politely. "Please, have a seat."
She did, closing the door behind her with a whisper of cloth as the cloak shrouding her rubbed across her sleeve, then walked to the spot he had indicated and sank down to match his seiza.
They regarded each other for a moment, tilting their heads slightly so as to be able to see each others' eyes despite her hood and the Raikage's ceremonial hat, then he said, mildly, "You might have been more gentle with my bodyguard."
She shrugged, slightly. "I don't do gentle. I'd be happy to repair the survivors, though."
"That will depend on why you've come." He didn't flavor the statement with any sort of vocal menace or killing intent, but rather simply let the threat lie implicit with all the grace that might have been expected of the greatest ninja of one of the five great nations.
She smiled and took from beneath her cloak a small glass jar, containing some unidentifiable transparent, red-tinted liquid and a spherical object that anyone as familiar with violence as the Raikage would recognize as a human eye. When he raised an eyebrow in wordless question she shook it slightly, making the jar's contents rotate slightly and reveal to him the eyes blank white iris and lack of pupil.
He drew in a long, slow breath, and smiled. It got wider as she spoke. "I kept the optic nerve for the other one."

Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#17
Oh. Ew.
Poor Neiji.
(Btw, I thought Branch Hyuuga couldn't -> spreading the Hyuuga eyes? Isn't that why Hiashi's brother chose to go in place of Hiashi?)
--
[Image: nanohafh1.jpg]
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#18
Quote:
(Btw, I thought Branch Hyuuga couldn't -> spreading the Hyuuga eyes? Isn't that why Hiashi's brother chose to go in place of Hiashi?)
The Caged Bird seal is indeed supposed to have just that effect... among others.
But what one person can lock, another can unlock.
Of course, doing so would require a knowledge of both medicine and written seals that is literally the stuff of legend...
^_^
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: TGNH Ch. 6
#19
...
*lightbulb*
Eeeeeeevil.
...
More please. =X
--
[Image: nanohafh1.jpg]
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Flashing back
#20
CNN, this is all your fault.

Naruto eyed the nine men and women standing casually around the front of the classroom intently. One of them, though he didn't know which, would be the teacher who was supposed to help him get started on his path to the title of Hokage. Would it be the lazy-eyed fellow chewing on the senbon? The pudgy woman he vaguely recognized as that loudmouth, Kiba's, mom? The really big guy with the scars? Or - though he hoped not - the scary lady in the perv-bait getup?
By the time Iruka got around to calling out the roster of Team Seven, he was so stressed out from trying to hold relatively still that he practically exploded out of his seat with a shout. "Finally!"
Then he flinched as Sakura-chan started to sputter. "But... but do I have to be on the same team as hi-"
"Yes," their teacher interrupted flatly, in a tone that cut through Iruka-sensei's bellow just as cleanly as his crush's protest. "You do. The teams are not random. All three of you were selected carefully. Follow me, and I'll explain why."
Naruto hesitated, caught between irritation at the way he'd adressed her and a warm, unfamiliar glow at having someone defend him - even in such a roundabout way. Then he followed, scurrying to catch up to Sakura and that bastard, Sasuke as they trailed in their teacher's wake on the way out of the Academy building.
The Jounin was taller than they were by a good margin, with longer legs, and he walked quickly enough that the only view they had of him was the long, almost knee-length braid, the trailing ends of his headband, and the way his long, green coat swirled around his legs. "Uchiha-kun is relatively advanced in taijutsu and ninjutsu and slightly less so in genjutsu; his academic, tactical, and non-combat skills lag seriously."
Naruto would have jeered, but Sasuke beat him to the punch with an indignant snarl. "What?!"
All three of the Genin pulled up short as the older ninja stopped abruptly and turned to face them. He wasn't ugly, but his nose stuck out and his eyes were too round and a threatening grey like a winter stormcloud behind his glasses. Mostly, though, he looked young, no older than his late teens, closer to their age than Iruka-sensei's. "I will not say that you were incorrect to judge those categories as having less bearing on your agenda. But you have an obligation to recognize the consequences of neglecting them."
The Uchiha scion snorted and looked away.
The Jounin mimicked the sound right back at him, then spun on his heel and picked up walking again at the same brisk pace. "Also, he has no manners," he said, dryly.
"Haruno-kun's grasp of the academic and theoretical aspects of ninja work is perfect and her practical skills are at least fair, but she lacks staying and striking power. While the weakest combatant in the squad, she is also the only one among you three with the acting ability or background knowledge to carry out any sort of covert or infiltrational mission."
As he spoke the last words they came up before the main entrance of Konoha's Archives building, a massive barn of a stone fortress that loomed only a little taller than the surrounding civilian structures but sprawled across an area equal to several residential blocks. Sakura and Sasuke easily produced the access tokens that would allow them past the seals securing it from access, but Naruto pulled up short.
"Uh," he said, when the others turned to see why he wasn't coming. "The lady... told me never to come back here."
His teacher's face darkened noticably. "Who told you?"
"I don't... remember her name. But, but, she had big bushy hair and glasses and-"
"Suzume," the snarl of recognition cut him off, and for a moment the tone of voice and the expression that matched it were enough to worry the blond boy... before both melted away to be completely replaced by a sort of bland neutrality that was surprisningly comforting. "Hold on," his teacher told him, then vanished into the depths of the building.

To expand on my opening comment, our own Catty Nova recently reviewed the early chapters of TGNH, and in so doing called my attention back to the consequences of the fact that chapter one was quite literally the first thing I'd written in years.
So, here I am, doing something about that.
Ja, -n

===============================================
"Puripuri puripuri... Bang!"
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Re: Flashing back
#21
thank you, I was afraid that some of my coments would be taken too harshly, but I am glad to see this improvement.
After reading it over a few times the only cluky thing I could find was "a massive barn of a stone fortress" which doesn't parse well.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
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Pending review and so much more!
#22
Hey Valles. I finally went and read through what you have of TNGH and I must say that I like what I see. More than that I can not say at this time - I need to do a more detailed reading later on when I have the time and luxury to do so. I don't think that'll be a problem considering recent events.
Do rest assured that I'll do my level best to deliver a quality critique and perhaps even a bit of formating/editorial assistance - some spots in the story suddenly jumped and I never even saw it, leaving me utterly confused at times.
Also, I myself have wanted to include the Naruto-verse as a piece of my twisted little world (or rather, twisted amalgamation of many worlds).
My character is eternally getting Liason duty because: A)He can survive the WTF!? situations that often come his way. (How well he handles them? Well...) B)He's the most sociable one out of the whole bunch because he's the only one that wasn't trained to be a perfect soldier from age eight. And C) Being the adventurous soul he is, he volunteers for it anyways.
How he gets involved in Naruto-verse and under what conditions, I have yet to decide, though it would help if I had access to the source material. ^_^;; Anyone know a good source for Naruto Scanslations?
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Re: Pending review and so much more!
#23
I get fansubs off of isohunt.com; search for AonE Naruto.--
"I give you the beautiful... the talented... the tirelessly atomic-powered...
R!
DOROTHY!
WAYNERIGHT!

--
Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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Re: Pending review and so much more!
#24
For manga scanlations...I've used narutofan.com in the past. They have a fairly decent collection. You need to register, and they only let you download one file at a time, but it works.
For general series information, I usually turn to leafninja.com, which has a large database of character biographies, all the various techniques used in the manga and anime...that sort of thing. With screencaps. I've found leafninja to be the best info site for the series... did a fair bit of research in the planning stages for my own fanfic.
-- Acyl
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Re: Pending review and so much more!
#25
Thank you very much, gentlemen. These websites will all come very much in handy for me. ^_^
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