Hi all, been a while hasn't it? Anyway, you've seen from time to time what my dreams (the more coherent ones anyway) are like, and you may have read a couple of dream sequences I constructed to have in a particular character's head. I've been told I do them quite well. What this is leading to, is a take on Naruto fanfic I don't think I've ever seen before... actually, I don't think I've seen it anywhere, to tell the truth. I present to you then, These Crazy Dreams, part one.
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A man and a boy were curled into their bedrolls, sheltered from the grassland's incessent wind by the lee side of a massive, gnarled old olive tree. The elder had long, spiked white hair tied back in a tail, the younger's was blond and short but just as wild. Not much else was visible save their dark blankets, mottled in some camoflage pattern whose dark color was lost in the dim light of a crescent moon. The teenager moaned and shifted, rolling onto his back with a grimace, but remained asleep, the olive's swaying leaves casting an ever-shifting pattern of silver light and deep shadow on the pair of streaks that crossed each cheek.
THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter One: Dream a Little Dream of Me
Note that the Naruto characters and setting were created by Kishimoto Masashi-sensei, and published through Shonen Jump. He'd probably be somewhat dismayed by what I'm doing with them, but is quite welcome to use any or all aspects of this story should he somehow run across it. Hopefully no one will bother to sue me over it.
They'd been waiting at the bridge for what seemed like forever, Naruto thought, glancing down at his watch. A sweatdrop formed on his head as it snored faintly and blew a snot bubble from the winding knob. He rapped it with a knuckle and the bubble popped with a snort, the display flickering on blurrily before sharpening up.
"KYAAH!" he shouted, making the other genin jump. "THAT LAZY SENSEI IS ALREADY A THOUSAND YEARS LATE THIS MORNING! WHAT IS THIS SHIT!?"
Sakura let go of Sasuke's arm long enough to pound an elbow into the crown of the blond's head, growling out, "SHUT UP, NARUTO! Can't you see we're having a moment!?"
Sasuke just continued to ignore them, while on his other arm Sakura nodded with an irritated frown, before going back to staring dreamily at the unresponsive Uchiha.
"Owww..." A burst of brilliant red flames swirled around the now pretzel-shaped Naruto, leaving him as good as new, except for a stiff neck. Still grumbling about their tardy jounin sensei he rolled it back and forth to work the kink out, then whooped and jumped in excitement.
Just down the street, he could see their teacher ambling toward the meeting spot, the usual orange book in one hand as he moved along the sidewalk. Then, unexpectedly, the lanky grey-haired man stopped, and - shock! - put away Itcha Itcha Paradise! Naruto could see him speaking politely to a little old lady, who then handed Kakashi her grocery bag and leaned on his elbow as they made their way across the street.
"Nuh... No way!" the hyperactive blond stammered. "Those lame excuses... They're actually true?"
They'd reached the far curb, and the granny accepted her groceries back with a fond pat on the jounin's cheek, then turned to climb the stairs into the house. Kakashi looked up the street and waved happily to his incredulous students, then turned back to the stairwell, obviously alarmed. He rushed in, then a few moments later returned, carrying the woman this time, and sprinted away back down the street.
Naruto fell over in shock. Sakura and Sakura groaned. Sasuke snorted in irritation, shook loose from his female team mate's anaconda-like grasp, and pushed off from the railing of the bridge, coming to stand in front of Naruto.
He smirked for a moment, then said, "Looks like we still have some time... I also want to fight you, Naruto. I only want to answer one question: Am I strong?"
Jumping back up, the orange-suited genin laughed and crowed, "Yeah! Yeah! I'll kick your mopey ass, dattebayo! Come on!" He ran to the unfinished end of the bridge, where the morning fog trailed across it in wisps. In the stands nearby, the five hokages looked up from where they were arguing with Orochimaru, while Kabuto tried to console the wailing, kimono clad python the snake sennin had brought as a date.
More importantly, Sasuke was already there, waiting in the taijutsu stance he'd copied from the Fuzzy-Brows. His eyes burned an ominous blood-red, the three tomoe spinning dizzyingly as he stared down Naruto with an arrogant smirk.
The crowd in the gallery across from the kages' box cheered as Naruto formed a cross-fingered hand seal - Iruka, Tazuna and Inari, Idate, Isaribi, the rest of the Rookie Nine as well, they'd all been saved by that move at one time or another. "TAIJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" they shouted, in unison with the orange-clad genin.
The bridge was suddenly swarming with Naruto clones, in a ring around Sasuke, perched on stacked building supplies, even hanging from the trusswork of the nearby crane like an over sized set of monkey-bars, the force of the dissipating chakra smoke blowing away the last of the fog from Kirigakure no Jutsu.
The referee, Zabusa, was less pleased, however, shifting the kunai he'd gripped in his mouth and complaining, "Don't get so excited, I haven't told you to start yet. Shaa, whatever," he grumbled, forging a path through the orange-clad crowd until he was a reasonable distance from the center. "Go ahead, then!"
With a chorus of yells, the Naruto swarm pulled out kunai and attacked, some leaping and throwing their blades, others charging recklessly in to attack directly. The dark-haired avenger's smirk just widened as he dispatched one after another with precise blows, sometimes simply dodging a thrown kunai to let it strike a clone out of his reach or behind his back, until they'd dwindled to a ring three or four clones deep all around.
Blackish-purple chakra exploded out from the Uchiha's body, and he went into a spin with a cry of "KAITEN!" The last of the clones were tossed back and destroyed. The terrific force of the technique shattered the pavement of the bridge, a web of cracks forming and splitting apart until the fighters were dropped to land on the surface of the river below. As the sphere of chakra faded two misshapen, leathery wings unfolded from inside its protective radius. A high pitched chattering like a huge flock of birds built up, and as Sasuke was revealed, hair longer and shocking white against his darkened skin, a light star-shaped patch on his nose and cheek bones framing those terrible eyes, he taunted the real Naruto, who'd waitd while his clones pressed the opening attack. "What's the matter, scaredy cat?" his wierdly distorted voice asked. "Have you realised your destiny of failure?"
"Bastaaarrrd..." the blond growled, red chakra bursting out around him. The ache made him stumble slightly, shifting down to all fours as the marks on Naruto's cheeks grew wide and dark, his fingernails becoming sharp claws as he crouched, ready to spring. "I'll bring you back, even if it means I have to break all your bones!"
Fell black sparks began to crackle away from Sasuke's braced right arm, the high pitched noise of the discharges sounding like the chirping of a huge flock of birds. His smirk never faded, even as the Uchiha survivor confided, "Naruto... you have become my closest friend. That's why it will be worth it when I kill you!" Blasting forward with chakra-enhanced speed, he called out the name of the attack. "CHIDORI!"
It never landed. A sudden blur of maroon and pink interceped his charge, and blood spattered over the surprised jinchuuriki as a hand clutching a still-beating heart burst out of the suddenly-interposed back, faint remnants of the black lighting still coursing over it as the organ was cruelly crushed. "S-Sakura-chan!?" he gasped, beastly features fading as shock broke him out of his rage.
"Sasuke..." the mortally wounded girl sighed, a thin line of blood already trickling form the corner of her mouth. "Only when you are protecting someone precious to you, can you become truly strong."
The Uchiha's transformation, too, began to revert, the contemptuous reply somehow lodged in his throat.
"Sakura-chan, no," Naruto whimpered, drawing her attenion at last.
Still impaled on her long-time crush's arm, the girl looked back over her shoulder, a forced smile beneath pained eyes. "Next time, we'll get him together, ne Naruto?" she promised weakly. Those achingly green eyes rolled back under drooping lids, and she collapsed as if deflating...
Under an olive tree somewhere near the border of Grass and Wind countries, a foxy blond teen started awake with a shouted denial.
In the Villiage Hidden by Leaves, a medic-nin in training, apprenticed to the legendary Tsunade herself, jerked awake with a shriek, clutching her chest.
And, in the silent underground chambers of Orochimaru's lair, a pair of troubled red eyes snapped open, three tomoe whirling to a halt as they faded slowly to their usual black. It was a long time before sleep returned to any of them.
Next tine on this forking pile of crack: Dream Another Dream, This Dream is Over
====================================
The chapter title is from an old "crooner/easy listening" song, but I don't really know who sang it - Frank Sinatra maybe?
The title for Chapter Two is a Van Halen song.
>
>
>
>
>END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
-------- 8< --------- cut here -------- 8< --------
A man and a boy were curled into their bedrolls, sheltered from the grassland's incessent wind by the lee side of a massive, gnarled old olive tree. The elder had long, spiked white hair tied back in a tail, the younger's was blond and short but just as wild. Not much else was visible save their dark blankets, mottled in some camoflage pattern whose dark color was lost in the dim light of a crescent moon. The teenager moaned and shifted, rolling onto his back with a grimace, but remained asleep, the olive's swaying leaves casting an ever-shifting pattern of silver light and deep shadow on the pair of streaks that crossed each cheek.
THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter One: Dream a Little Dream of Me
Note that the Naruto characters and setting were created by Kishimoto Masashi-sensei, and published through Shonen Jump. He'd probably be somewhat dismayed by what I'm doing with them, but is quite welcome to use any or all aspects of this story should he somehow run across it. Hopefully no one will bother to sue me over it.
They'd been waiting at the bridge for what seemed like forever, Naruto thought, glancing down at his watch. A sweatdrop formed on his head as it snored faintly and blew a snot bubble from the winding knob. He rapped it with a knuckle and the bubble popped with a snort, the display flickering on blurrily before sharpening up.
"KYAAH!" he shouted, making the other genin jump. "THAT LAZY SENSEI IS ALREADY A THOUSAND YEARS LATE THIS MORNING! WHAT IS THIS SHIT!?"
Sakura let go of Sasuke's arm long enough to pound an elbow into the crown of the blond's head, growling out, "SHUT UP, NARUTO! Can't you see we're having a moment!?"
Sasuke just continued to ignore them, while on his other arm Sakura nodded with an irritated frown, before going back to staring dreamily at the unresponsive Uchiha.
"Owww..." A burst of brilliant red flames swirled around the now pretzel-shaped Naruto, leaving him as good as new, except for a stiff neck. Still grumbling about their tardy jounin sensei he rolled it back and forth to work the kink out, then whooped and jumped in excitement.
Just down the street, he could see their teacher ambling toward the meeting spot, the usual orange book in one hand as he moved along the sidewalk. Then, unexpectedly, the lanky grey-haired man stopped, and - shock! - put away Itcha Itcha Paradise! Naruto could see him speaking politely to a little old lady, who then handed Kakashi her grocery bag and leaned on his elbow as they made their way across the street.
"Nuh... No way!" the hyperactive blond stammered. "Those lame excuses... They're actually true?"
They'd reached the far curb, and the granny accepted her groceries back with a fond pat on the jounin's cheek, then turned to climb the stairs into the house. Kakashi looked up the street and waved happily to his incredulous students, then turned back to the stairwell, obviously alarmed. He rushed in, then a few moments later returned, carrying the woman this time, and sprinted away back down the street.
Naruto fell over in shock. Sakura and Sakura groaned. Sasuke snorted in irritation, shook loose from his female team mate's anaconda-like grasp, and pushed off from the railing of the bridge, coming to stand in front of Naruto.
He smirked for a moment, then said, "Looks like we still have some time... I also want to fight you, Naruto. I only want to answer one question: Am I strong?"
Jumping back up, the orange-suited genin laughed and crowed, "Yeah! Yeah! I'll kick your mopey ass, dattebayo! Come on!" He ran to the unfinished end of the bridge, where the morning fog trailed across it in wisps. In the stands nearby, the five hokages looked up from where they were arguing with Orochimaru, while Kabuto tried to console the wailing, kimono clad python the snake sennin had brought as a date.
More importantly, Sasuke was already there, waiting in the taijutsu stance he'd copied from the Fuzzy-Brows. His eyes burned an ominous blood-red, the three tomoe spinning dizzyingly as he stared down Naruto with an arrogant smirk.
The crowd in the gallery across from the kages' box cheered as Naruto formed a cross-fingered hand seal - Iruka, Tazuna and Inari, Idate, Isaribi, the rest of the Rookie Nine as well, they'd all been saved by that move at one time or another. "TAIJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" they shouted, in unison with the orange-clad genin.
The bridge was suddenly swarming with Naruto clones, in a ring around Sasuke, perched on stacked building supplies, even hanging from the trusswork of the nearby crane like an over sized set of monkey-bars, the force of the dissipating chakra smoke blowing away the last of the fog from Kirigakure no Jutsu.
The referee, Zabusa, was less pleased, however, shifting the kunai he'd gripped in his mouth and complaining, "Don't get so excited, I haven't told you to start yet. Shaa, whatever," he grumbled, forging a path through the orange-clad crowd until he was a reasonable distance from the center. "Go ahead, then!"
With a chorus of yells, the Naruto swarm pulled out kunai and attacked, some leaping and throwing their blades, others charging recklessly in to attack directly. The dark-haired avenger's smirk just widened as he dispatched one after another with precise blows, sometimes simply dodging a thrown kunai to let it strike a clone out of his reach or behind his back, until they'd dwindled to a ring three or four clones deep all around.
Blackish-purple chakra exploded out from the Uchiha's body, and he went into a spin with a cry of "KAITEN!" The last of the clones were tossed back and destroyed. The terrific force of the technique shattered the pavement of the bridge, a web of cracks forming and splitting apart until the fighters were dropped to land on the surface of the river below. As the sphere of chakra faded two misshapen, leathery wings unfolded from inside its protective radius. A high pitched chattering like a huge flock of birds built up, and as Sasuke was revealed, hair longer and shocking white against his darkened skin, a light star-shaped patch on his nose and cheek bones framing those terrible eyes, he taunted the real Naruto, who'd waitd while his clones pressed the opening attack. "What's the matter, scaredy cat?" his wierdly distorted voice asked. "Have you realised your destiny of failure?"
"Bastaaarrrd..." the blond growled, red chakra bursting out around him. The ache made him stumble slightly, shifting down to all fours as the marks on Naruto's cheeks grew wide and dark, his fingernails becoming sharp claws as he crouched, ready to spring. "I'll bring you back, even if it means I have to break all your bones!"
Fell black sparks began to crackle away from Sasuke's braced right arm, the high pitched noise of the discharges sounding like the chirping of a huge flock of birds. His smirk never faded, even as the Uchiha survivor confided, "Naruto... you have become my closest friend. That's why it will be worth it when I kill you!" Blasting forward with chakra-enhanced speed, he called out the name of the attack. "CHIDORI!"
It never landed. A sudden blur of maroon and pink interceped his charge, and blood spattered over the surprised jinchuuriki as a hand clutching a still-beating heart burst out of the suddenly-interposed back, faint remnants of the black lighting still coursing over it as the organ was cruelly crushed. "S-Sakura-chan!?" he gasped, beastly features fading as shock broke him out of his rage.
"Sasuke..." the mortally wounded girl sighed, a thin line of blood already trickling form the corner of her mouth. "Only when you are protecting someone precious to you, can you become truly strong."
The Uchiha's transformation, too, began to revert, the contemptuous reply somehow lodged in his throat.
"Sakura-chan, no," Naruto whimpered, drawing her attenion at last.
Still impaled on her long-time crush's arm, the girl looked back over her shoulder, a forced smile beneath pained eyes. "Next time, we'll get him together, ne Naruto?" she promised weakly. Those achingly green eyes rolled back under drooping lids, and she collapsed as if deflating...
Under an olive tree somewhere near the border of Grass and Wind countries, a foxy blond teen started awake with a shouted denial.
In the Villiage Hidden by Leaves, a medic-nin in training, apprenticed to the legendary Tsunade herself, jerked awake with a shriek, clutching her chest.
And, in the silent underground chambers of Orochimaru's lair, a pair of troubled red eyes snapped open, three tomoe whirling to a halt as they faded slowly to their usual black. It was a long time before sleep returned to any of them.
Next tine on this forking pile of crack: Dream Another Dream, This Dream is Over
====================================
The chapter title is from an old "crooner/easy listening" song, but I don't really know who sang it - Frank Sinatra maybe?
The title for Chapter Two is a Van Halen song.
>
>
>
>
>END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows