TEENAGE ADVISORY NOTICE
CONTAINS JUVENILE FANTASY
NOT SUITABLE FOR GROWN-UPS
Ninjas are sooo totally sweet, and by sweet I mean they totally rock! Ninjas flip out and kill people ALL THE TIME! Like once, there was this ninja in a forest, and she totally flipped out and killed somebody! It was AWESOME! And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!
====================================================
After Sakura had finished her shift at the hospital that morning she'd reported in to Tsunade for the day's training - the usual round of control excercises and practise with healing ninjutsu on wounded animals or stranded fish - followed by extra book work in a corner of the Hokage's office when her chakra ran low, all to prepare for the next chuunin exam, soon to be held in the Leaf again. That's where she was as evening drew nigh and teams began to report in about the day's missions, not exactly in the forefront but not in any way hidden, and not so occupied that she didn't look up and excange pleasantries with the shinobi she knew.
Things became odd when Team 8 came in to report. Shino and Kiba greeted her normally enough, but Hinata froze in place as soon as Sakura called out, a blush painting her cheeks as she meekly replied, "Hello, Sakura-ch-san..." - then practically lit up in red, even her hands pinkish as she covered her face and fled out the door.
Bemused, Sakura turned to the girl's team mates and wondered, "What was that about? She was never even that shy around Naruto, and the only one who doesn't know how she feels about him is the baka himself. Hasn't she gotten a lot better anyway, the past couple of years?"
Hinata's team mates could only shrug and wonder, before getting back to their report. Kiba did worry a bit, though - why had he suddenly got a whiff of the Hyuuga's fresh blood?
THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter Three: In My Dream, I Was Drowning My Sorrows
Tsunade had carefully gotten helself ready that morning - Sarutobi-sensei had FINALLY nominated his team for the chuunin exam, and while appearances might not be everything she'd take every advantage she could get. She'd heard that there were rookie teams nominated this year as well, and wondered what kind of sensei they had? If Sarutobi-sensei, reknowned as the Professor of Konoha for both his encyclopedic knowledge of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu and for his ability to pass it to others thought his students needed three years to be prepared then rookies straight out of the academy couldn't possibly stand a chance... but it wasn't really her problem, even if she'd hate to see any Leaf-nin get hurt trying it too soon.
Putting such thoughts out of her mind, she put on her necklace, picked up her entry form, and hurried out the door, giving her buttpain little brother a sisterly noogie as she passed. Kami, she felt nervous. What if they all failed anyway? What if she was the only one on the team hat failed? What if one of them got killed? That happened in the chuunin exams - though the Hidden Stone bastards who wiped out three teams at the last exam had been banned from this one, thank goodness - What if...?
The worries circling her mind like a flock of vultures fluttered away in the face of the one thing that could always cheer her up as she arrived at the park where their team usually met. "Orochimaru-kun!" she greeted sweetly, and counted it a major victory that the pale teen turned to glance and send a smirk her way. True, her crush had faded in the face of three years of complete indifference, but he was still easy on the eyes, and much less annoying than--
"Goo-ood mor-ning, Tsunade-chan! You're energetic today!"
"Jiraya." she deadpanned. "If you say I'm looking bouncy, I'll make sure you don't wake up for a week, team exam or no team exam," the sandy blonde threatened.
"Right, right, okay..."
Well. Maybe he could be trained... Maybe. With all of them there, they set out for the meeting hall where the first exam was going to be given.
As it turned out, she might have been too quick to dismiss the rookies - all three teams had made it through the first test, at least, though she doubted it had been a good idea for the one in the front row to draw so much attention to himself. Still, with that outfit he must be used to it, and she could sense that he had massive chakra reserves. He probably specialised in holding enemies attention while the rest of his team cut them down from behind, or something like that... either that, or the brat was just a stupid loudmouth. She didn't want to think that badly of him for some reason, however, despite his resemblance to the buttpain.
There he went again... heh, the examiner shut him up pretty good, though Tsunade could only hope the dark haired woman was playing head games with them, rather than being such a psycho for real.
She facepalmed as Jiraya got into an argument with the blond kid and another rookie, an Inuzuka judging by the puppy, over who was the coolest and who would kick the most ass in the next five days. Maybe the rookies were that stupid and loud after all. "Geeze, three gooney birds of a feather," she compl[pained to Orochimaru. He ignored her as usual, seeming far more interested in the Grass-nin with the freaky tounge.
Maybe it was just boys in general who were idiots, she thought. Who cared about some freaky Grass-nin when he had such a tiny amount of chakra?
Actually, that was a REALLY small amount of chakra. She took another, more assessing look, as an opponent who could supress their chakra signature was well above even most chuunin in chakra control - she could do it, but she'd made control a special focus so she could enter medic-nin training as soon as she made chuunin. The way she was able to use it to boost her strength was a very nice side benefit, too, of course.
Well, whatever. It was time to collect their scroll and get to a gate. Ew, sure that was a safe place to keep it, but she didn't care how well he wiped it off after spitting it back up, she was making Orochimaru open that scroll himself. Not even Jiraya had annoyed her enough to deserve that job, though the day was still young.
Sakura was pissed. Beyond pissed, actually, well into the territory marked only "Here be Dragons," ready to charbroil someone and eat them whole. It wasn't because of that fool Naruto shooting off his maouth and drawing attention to their team. It wasn't because of the freaky snake-man who'd scared them literally out of their wits and then done something wierd and possibly perverted to Sasuke-kun. It wasn't even because of the arrogant Sound assholes who semed to be coming out of the woodwork and also wanted to kill, kidnap, opr possibly do even more perverted things to the now unconscious Sasuke-kun, or the way Naruto had been crowing that whatever the freaky snake bastard had done to him hadn't worked while Sasuke-kun was out like a light... okay, it was just a tiny bit of that, but mostly...
It was the guitars. She didn't know how, she didn't know why - well, no she knew EXACTLY why, damn it - and she was absolutely certain she knew who, but they were EVERY-DAMN-WHERE!! She'd ignored the one leaning against the railing of the bridge where Team 7 met. She'd ignored the one in the hallway where those older guys had set up a genjutsu, and where Lee had caught up to challenge Sasuke-kun, AND leaning against her desk at the first exam, AND JUST OUTSIDE THEIR GATE to get into the Forest of Death! She'd ignored a couple more while the snake freak was being scary and perverted, too, but that was more a matter of being busy being terrified for her life, and then having her hands full getting Sasuke-kun and Naruto to a polace they could hole up until the boys woke. Well, now Naruto was awake, and there were six arrogant idiots arguing over whether to kill or kidnap Sasuke-kun, and THERE WAS ANOTHER GUITAR!!
"ARRRGH!!" she howled, frustrated. "OKAY, MOM, I GIVE!! I'LL USE THE DAMN GUITAR!!" Grinding her teeth, she stomped over to where it was leaning against a treeand grabbed it, spinning it a couple of times in her hands to gfet the balance. It was a solid-body electric six-string, cut in a kind of squashed X-shape, and it came to life with a roar as she pumped chakra into the seals that made it all work. "HAPPY NOW!? I'M USING THE FAMILY STYLE, MOM!!"
Naruto and the sound-nin just watched her have her meltdown with a kind of horrified awe - was this what happened when a shinobi snapped? "Ne, Sakura-chan," her blond team mate suggested hesitantly, "I can take these guys, maybe you should rel--"
"SHUT UP, NARUTO!" She interrupted, before stabbing the neck of the guitar at the Sound team with the better fashion sense. "You, you, and you! Time for your ass beating!" Granted, grey camoflage and ... hay, or whatever that one guy had on his back... were still a major Don't, but better than gift wrapping your ass with a big bow. Anyone stupid enough to walk around looking like that was probably weak enough for Naruto to handle, so three punching bags would have to be enough.
Hay-for-brains scoffed and opened his mouth, but she'd heard enough of his crap for one day. A light touch of chakra, fingers in position and strum - "POWER CHORD!" she announced, as a blast of wind and achingly loud sound erupted out of the tube built into the neck. Haybrains and Shades were knocked back, while their kunoichi team mate (the one who kept playing with a senbon that had bells on it) managed to dodge in time. The other three would only have been on the fringes of the attack but dodged entirely, landing facing across from where Naruto was still watching dumbfounded, but seemed amused by the whole thing. Morons.
More importantly, Bells-on had turned her dodging leap into a charge, and was spouting some trash talk about her hair. Goddamn, no one trashed on her hair! Wearing it short was one thing, but there was no way she'd let it get all dull and nasty like some kunoichi hardly worth the name did! Waiting until Ring-my-bells-please had commited to her attack, Sakura set herself and spun the Battle Guitar, calling out "Haruno taijutsu ougi: EL KABONG NO JUTSU!" just before clubbing her skanky face into the dirt, the impact producing a mitghty "BWOOOONNG" from the instrument. The Sound kunoichi twitched, then passed out.
"Inconcievable... KIN!" yelled Shades, before snarling at Sakura. "You think you can fight sound with sound, you little bitch!? You'll pay for that!"
Eyes incandescent and face twisted into a mask of rage, the Leaf genin shot back, "Pay, huh? First installment, have another POWER CHORD!" This time, Shades had produced his own blast and canceled the effect of hers, while Haybrains used his arm amplifier to counter the ear-punishing sound waves. Undeterred, she continued, "HAVE A DOZEN!" before ripping out a few bars, drawing several of them out and modulating it with the whammy to disrupt any hope of a successful counter.
The crushing waves of wind and sound passed, revealing Shades embedded inches into the bark of one of the huge trees, head lolling limply and blood streaming from every orifice. Haybrain wasn't in great shape either, both ears bleeding from popped eardrums, but he'd avoided the worst of the direct damage. "Muh... monster... he stammered, as the girl-shaped demon stalked closer. Turning frantic eyes to the other Sound team, still watching motionlessly, he pleaded, "Why aren't you bastards helping? She's a monster!" He couldn't hear the reply, but the coldly scornful looks and superior smirks told him there would be no aid there. He franticly dug in his haystack for the team's scroll, proffering it in a shaking hand. "Please, take this, and let us escape! Orochimaru-sama said you were the weakwest, so there's no way we could face you. If we mneet again, we still won't attack!"
Sakura almost let him have it anyway... almost... but the tiny spark of concern for his team mates as he looked at where Shades had crumpled and where Bells-on still hadn't moved comvinced her. It was only the faintest glimmer, but it was there... and she remembered telling... who? It didn't matter, but she'd told them that the only time a ninja could be truly strong was when they were protecting their comerades. Or was it someone else telling her? It ddin't sound quite like the sort of thing she'd say...
Abruptly moving off to the side so he could collect the unconscious Sound kunoichi, Sakura nodded jerkily, keeping the 'bat's neck pointed at him as he hauled her on one shoulder, Shades on the other, then leapt away into the trees, his scroll left lying where he'd dropped it when she agreed.
Sakura's fugue was broken by quiet, mocking clapping from the other Sound team. Suddenly the adrenaline was gone, and her anger seemed so trivial, and she'd really used up a lot of chakra there, hadn't she? Maybe she should relax a while like Naruto was saying... "Oh... okay, right," she breahted, suddenly too drained to even hold up the guitar. As it fell from her limp hands to dangle by the shoulder strap, she weakly asked, "What's taking so long... Naruto?" Then her knees gave out, and that was the last thing she knew for a while.
The San-nin genin team meets Team Seven and the Sound Five in the Chuunin Exam, Young Orochimaru is greatly intrigued by the curse seals. Ukon and Sakon entered seperatly, so the "Five" formed two complete teams.
Right, and then re-combined so Orochimaru could slip in on their team, replacing the grass-nin team using his disguise jutsu - Big O goes off to torment Sasuke-teme, the other two run into the San-nin since they've replaced the Sand-nin, the other three of the Five replacing Kabuto and his losers. The battle with the chibi-sannin turnins into a running one, as the overpowered pair try to join up with their comerades - who've already found Sakura & Co., and being SOund they don't really give a damn aout the other Sound team with differrent orders. Jirobu the fatass and Kimimaro the bone man are the ones who meet the san-nin, J buys it quick
"Oro- Orochimaru-sama!?" The fat grass-nin yelped, shock written in his eyes, expression, stance, everywhere.
"Kekekeke... you already know my name? That saves some time. (CRACK!) I don't have to tell you before you die." The long-haired Leaf-nin had quite calmly flickered behind the grass-nin and snappe his neck with an elbow strike between one breath and the next, reappearing beside his team mates before the corpse had time to fall.
"Do you have to be so cold about it, Orochimaru-kun? Just knocking him out would have been enough."
"Pfeh. A weakling, and not even an ally. You're too soft, Tsunade."
The other Grass-nin just stared, flabbergasted. then formed a ram seal and performed a dispel, flakes of mud falling away to reveal a different face, with two red dots on the brow, long white hair, and plain white robes with a purple rope sahs knotted in back. No Hiae-ate was visible, and his eyes were deeply troubled. "Don't... Don't you recognise us, Orochimaru-sama? We are of the Sound Five..."
being so devoted to Orochimaru, Kimi is deeply disturbed, hence the flight.
and K does a strategic retreat when he realises that Tsunade can shatter his best bones anyway - and he can't hit them, because Little O keeps piling on genjutsu that fuck his perception. Hurting but not dead yet when he hooks up with the other three.
Naruto is also "awake" and is the opther dreamer, since he was the only one to fight all of the Five if only briefly, saying that whatever the freaky snake-man treid to do it didn't work. Despite not recognising the events as they happen, he and Sakura are their mid-timeskip selves as in last chap. No ring of flight, no triple-goofy rasengan variations.
Well, probably not. Just the guitars is more continuity than you'd find in most dreams.
Next tine on this forking pile of crack: I don't have a title!
(but don't hold your breath)
====================================
The chapter title is from a U2 song IIRC.
I have to admit - I still snicker every time I see "Haruno taijutsu ougi: El Kabong no Justu" Just a freindly reminder, Sakura fans - ninjas flip out and kill people ALL the time!
I don't yet have a title for Chapter Four - but I do have a concept. This time, the dreamers include the Kyuubi - and she's having her favorite one, about wiping out those Leaf bastards without that blond idiot on a giant frog to get in her way. The only problem? A different blond idiot on the same damn frog... It's post-Gaara-rescue, so he's the third.
If there'll be more after that - who knows? Ideally, it would be 27 chapters to fit the subtitle, but... shyeah, right. I know how the last scene in the series will go, though - the solar storm that's been causing so many sunspots will break up, ending the odd effects felt by the more energy-sensitive inhabitants of its third planet.
Yup, sunspots. No meddling author-insert/deities, no hidden clauses in the Fuin Shiki Fujin, no time travel or soul bonds or chaos butterflies or destined paths struggling to right missteps... sunspots messing with people's chakra is what's causing the shared dreams.
Comments and suggestions, as always, are welcome.
>
>
>
> END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows
CONTAINS JUVENILE FANTASY
NOT SUITABLE FOR GROWN-UPS
Ninjas are sooo totally sweet, and by sweet I mean they totally rock! Ninjas flip out and kill people ALL THE TIME! Like once, there was this ninja in a forest, and she totally flipped out and killed somebody! It was AWESOME! And that's what I call REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!
====================================================
After Sakura had finished her shift at the hospital that morning she'd reported in to Tsunade for the day's training - the usual round of control excercises and practise with healing ninjutsu on wounded animals or stranded fish - followed by extra book work in a corner of the Hokage's office when her chakra ran low, all to prepare for the next chuunin exam, soon to be held in the Leaf again. That's where she was as evening drew nigh and teams began to report in about the day's missions, not exactly in the forefront but not in any way hidden, and not so occupied that she didn't look up and excange pleasantries with the shinobi she knew.
Things became odd when Team 8 came in to report. Shino and Kiba greeted her normally enough, but Hinata froze in place as soon as Sakura called out, a blush painting her cheeks as she meekly replied, "Hello, Sakura-ch-san..." - then practically lit up in red, even her hands pinkish as she covered her face and fled out the door.
Bemused, Sakura turned to the girl's team mates and wondered, "What was that about? She was never even that shy around Naruto, and the only one who doesn't know how she feels about him is the baka himself. Hasn't she gotten a lot better anyway, the past couple of years?"
Hinata's team mates could only shrug and wonder, before getting back to their report. Kiba did worry a bit, though - why had he suddenly got a whiff of the Hyuuga's fresh blood?
THESE CRAZY DREAMS
a 27-hit combo of Naruto crack
from the twisted mind of
ClassicDrogn
Chapter Three: In My Dream, I Was Drowning My Sorrows
Tsunade had carefully gotten helself ready that morning - Sarutobi-sensei had FINALLY nominated his team for the chuunin exam, and while appearances might not be everything she'd take every advantage she could get. She'd heard that there were rookie teams nominated this year as well, and wondered what kind of sensei they had? If Sarutobi-sensei, reknowned as the Professor of Konoha for both his encyclopedic knowledge of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu and for his ability to pass it to others thought his students needed three years to be prepared then rookies straight out of the academy couldn't possibly stand a chance... but it wasn't really her problem, even if she'd hate to see any Leaf-nin get hurt trying it too soon.
Putting such thoughts out of her mind, she put on her necklace, picked up her entry form, and hurried out the door, giving her buttpain little brother a sisterly noogie as she passed. Kami, she felt nervous. What if they all failed anyway? What if she was the only one on the team hat failed? What if one of them got killed? That happened in the chuunin exams - though the Hidden Stone bastards who wiped out three teams at the last exam had been banned from this one, thank goodness - What if...?
The worries circling her mind like a flock of vultures fluttered away in the face of the one thing that could always cheer her up as she arrived at the park where their team usually met. "Orochimaru-kun!" she greeted sweetly, and counted it a major victory that the pale teen turned to glance and send a smirk her way. True, her crush had faded in the face of three years of complete indifference, but he was still easy on the eyes, and much less annoying than--
"Goo-ood mor-ning, Tsunade-chan! You're energetic today!"
"Jiraya." she deadpanned. "If you say I'm looking bouncy, I'll make sure you don't wake up for a week, team exam or no team exam," the sandy blonde threatened.
"Right, right, okay..."
Well. Maybe he could be trained... Maybe. With all of them there, they set out for the meeting hall where the first exam was going to be given.
As it turned out, she might have been too quick to dismiss the rookies - all three teams had made it through the first test, at least, though she doubted it had been a good idea for the one in the front row to draw so much attention to himself. Still, with that outfit he must be used to it, and she could sense that he had massive chakra reserves. He probably specialised in holding enemies attention while the rest of his team cut them down from behind, or something like that... either that, or the brat was just a stupid loudmouth. She didn't want to think that badly of him for some reason, however, despite his resemblance to the buttpain.
There he went again... heh, the examiner shut him up pretty good, though Tsunade could only hope the dark haired woman was playing head games with them, rather than being such a psycho for real.
She facepalmed as Jiraya got into an argument with the blond kid and another rookie, an Inuzuka judging by the puppy, over who was the coolest and who would kick the most ass in the next five days. Maybe the rookies were that stupid and loud after all. "Geeze, three gooney birds of a feather," she compl[pained to Orochimaru. He ignored her as usual, seeming far more interested in the Grass-nin with the freaky tounge.
Maybe it was just boys in general who were idiots, she thought. Who cared about some freaky Grass-nin when he had such a tiny amount of chakra?
Actually, that was a REALLY small amount of chakra. She took another, more assessing look, as an opponent who could supress their chakra signature was well above even most chuunin in chakra control - she could do it, but she'd made control a special focus so she could enter medic-nin training as soon as she made chuunin. The way she was able to use it to boost her strength was a very nice side benefit, too, of course.
Well, whatever. It was time to collect their scroll and get to a gate. Ew, sure that was a safe place to keep it, but she didn't care how well he wiped it off after spitting it back up, she was making Orochimaru open that scroll himself. Not even Jiraya had annoyed her enough to deserve that job, though the day was still young.
Sakura was pissed. Beyond pissed, actually, well into the territory marked only "Here be Dragons," ready to charbroil someone and eat them whole. It wasn't because of that fool Naruto shooting off his maouth and drawing attention to their team. It wasn't because of the freaky snake-man who'd scared them literally out of their wits and then done something wierd and possibly perverted to Sasuke-kun. It wasn't even because of the arrogant Sound assholes who semed to be coming out of the woodwork and also wanted to kill, kidnap, opr possibly do even more perverted things to the now unconscious Sasuke-kun, or the way Naruto had been crowing that whatever the freaky snake bastard had done to him hadn't worked while Sasuke-kun was out like a light... okay, it was just a tiny bit of that, but mostly...
It was the guitars. She didn't know how, she didn't know why - well, no she knew EXACTLY why, damn it - and she was absolutely certain she knew who, but they were EVERY-DAMN-WHERE!! She'd ignored the one leaning against the railing of the bridge where Team 7 met. She'd ignored the one in the hallway where those older guys had set up a genjutsu, and where Lee had caught up to challenge Sasuke-kun, AND leaning against her desk at the first exam, AND JUST OUTSIDE THEIR GATE to get into the Forest of Death! She'd ignored a couple more while the snake freak was being scary and perverted, too, but that was more a matter of being busy being terrified for her life, and then having her hands full getting Sasuke-kun and Naruto to a polace they could hole up until the boys woke. Well, now Naruto was awake, and there were six arrogant idiots arguing over whether to kill or kidnap Sasuke-kun, and THERE WAS ANOTHER GUITAR!!
"ARRRGH!!" she howled, frustrated. "OKAY, MOM, I GIVE!! I'LL USE THE DAMN GUITAR!!" Grinding her teeth, she stomped over to where it was leaning against a treeand grabbed it, spinning it a couple of times in her hands to gfet the balance. It was a solid-body electric six-string, cut in a kind of squashed X-shape, and it came to life with a roar as she pumped chakra into the seals that made it all work. "HAPPY NOW!? I'M USING THE FAMILY STYLE, MOM!!"
Naruto and the sound-nin just watched her have her meltdown with a kind of horrified awe - was this what happened when a shinobi snapped? "Ne, Sakura-chan," her blond team mate suggested hesitantly, "I can take these guys, maybe you should rel--"
"SHUT UP, NARUTO!" She interrupted, before stabbing the neck of the guitar at the Sound team with the better fashion sense. "You, you, and you! Time for your ass beating!" Granted, grey camoflage and ... hay, or whatever that one guy had on his back... were still a major Don't, but better than gift wrapping your ass with a big bow. Anyone stupid enough to walk around looking like that was probably weak enough for Naruto to handle, so three punching bags would have to be enough.
Hay-for-brains scoffed and opened his mouth, but she'd heard enough of his crap for one day. A light touch of chakra, fingers in position and strum - "POWER CHORD!" she announced, as a blast of wind and achingly loud sound erupted out of the tube built into the neck. Haybrains and Shades were knocked back, while their kunoichi team mate (the one who kept playing with a senbon that had bells on it) managed to dodge in time. The other three would only have been on the fringes of the attack but dodged entirely, landing facing across from where Naruto was still watching dumbfounded, but seemed amused by the whole thing. Morons.
More importantly, Bells-on had turned her dodging leap into a charge, and was spouting some trash talk about her hair. Goddamn, no one trashed on her hair! Wearing it short was one thing, but there was no way she'd let it get all dull and nasty like some kunoichi hardly worth the name did! Waiting until Ring-my-bells-please had commited to her attack, Sakura set herself and spun the Battle Guitar, calling out "Haruno taijutsu ougi: EL KABONG NO JUTSU!" just before clubbing her skanky face into the dirt, the impact producing a mitghty "BWOOOONNG" from the instrument. The Sound kunoichi twitched, then passed out.
"Inconcievable... KIN!" yelled Shades, before snarling at Sakura. "You think you can fight sound with sound, you little bitch!? You'll pay for that!"
Eyes incandescent and face twisted into a mask of rage, the Leaf genin shot back, "Pay, huh? First installment, have another POWER CHORD!" This time, Shades had produced his own blast and canceled the effect of hers, while Haybrains used his arm amplifier to counter the ear-punishing sound waves. Undeterred, she continued, "HAVE A DOZEN!" before ripping out a few bars, drawing several of them out and modulating it with the whammy to disrupt any hope of a successful counter.
The crushing waves of wind and sound passed, revealing Shades embedded inches into the bark of one of the huge trees, head lolling limply and blood streaming from every orifice. Haybrain wasn't in great shape either, both ears bleeding from popped eardrums, but he'd avoided the worst of the direct damage. "Muh... monster... he stammered, as the girl-shaped demon stalked closer. Turning frantic eyes to the other Sound team, still watching motionlessly, he pleaded, "Why aren't you bastards helping? She's a monster!" He couldn't hear the reply, but the coldly scornful looks and superior smirks told him there would be no aid there. He franticly dug in his haystack for the team's scroll, proffering it in a shaking hand. "Please, take this, and let us escape! Orochimaru-sama said you were the weakwest, so there's no way we could face you. If we mneet again, we still won't attack!"
Sakura almost let him have it anyway... almost... but the tiny spark of concern for his team mates as he looked at where Shades had crumpled and where Bells-on still hadn't moved comvinced her. It was only the faintest glimmer, but it was there... and she remembered telling... who? It didn't matter, but she'd told them that the only time a ninja could be truly strong was when they were protecting their comerades. Or was it someone else telling her? It ddin't sound quite like the sort of thing she'd say...
Abruptly moving off to the side so he could collect the unconscious Sound kunoichi, Sakura nodded jerkily, keeping the 'bat's neck pointed at him as he hauled her on one shoulder, Shades on the other, then leapt away into the trees, his scroll left lying where he'd dropped it when she agreed.
Sakura's fugue was broken by quiet, mocking clapping from the other Sound team. Suddenly the adrenaline was gone, and her anger seemed so trivial, and she'd really used up a lot of chakra there, hadn't she? Maybe she should relax a while like Naruto was saying... "Oh... okay, right," she breahted, suddenly too drained to even hold up the guitar. As it fell from her limp hands to dangle by the shoulder strap, she weakly asked, "What's taking so long... Naruto?" Then her knees gave out, and that was the last thing she knew for a while.
The San-nin genin team meets Team Seven and the Sound Five in the Chuunin Exam, Young Orochimaru is greatly intrigued by the curse seals. Ukon and Sakon entered seperatly, so the "Five" formed two complete teams.
Right, and then re-combined so Orochimaru could slip in on their team, replacing the grass-nin team using his disguise jutsu - Big O goes off to torment Sasuke-teme, the other two run into the San-nin since they've replaced the Sand-nin, the other three of the Five replacing Kabuto and his losers. The battle with the chibi-sannin turnins into a running one, as the overpowered pair try to join up with their comerades - who've already found Sakura & Co., and being SOund they don't really give a damn aout the other Sound team with differrent orders. Jirobu the fatass and Kimimaro the bone man are the ones who meet the san-nin, J buys it quick
"Oro- Orochimaru-sama!?" The fat grass-nin yelped, shock written in his eyes, expression, stance, everywhere.
"Kekekeke... you already know my name? That saves some time. (CRACK!) I don't have to tell you before you die." The long-haired Leaf-nin had quite calmly flickered behind the grass-nin and snappe his neck with an elbow strike between one breath and the next, reappearing beside his team mates before the corpse had time to fall.
"Do you have to be so cold about it, Orochimaru-kun? Just knocking him out would have been enough."
"Pfeh. A weakling, and not even an ally. You're too soft, Tsunade."
The other Grass-nin just stared, flabbergasted. then formed a ram seal and performed a dispel, flakes of mud falling away to reveal a different face, with two red dots on the brow, long white hair, and plain white robes with a purple rope sahs knotted in back. No Hiae-ate was visible, and his eyes were deeply troubled. "Don't... Don't you recognise us, Orochimaru-sama? We are of the Sound Five..."
being so devoted to Orochimaru, Kimi is deeply disturbed, hence the flight.
and K does a strategic retreat when he realises that Tsunade can shatter his best bones anyway - and he can't hit them, because Little O keeps piling on genjutsu that fuck his perception. Hurting but not dead yet when he hooks up with the other three.
Naruto is also "awake" and is the opther dreamer, since he was the only one to fight all of the Five if only briefly, saying that whatever the freaky snake-man treid to do it didn't work. Despite not recognising the events as they happen, he and Sakura are their mid-timeskip selves as in last chap. No ring of flight, no triple-goofy rasengan variations.
Well, probably not. Just the guitars is more continuity than you'd find in most dreams.
Next tine on this forking pile of crack: I don't have a title!
(but don't hold your breath)
====================================
The chapter title is from a U2 song IIRC.
I have to admit - I still snicker every time I see "Haruno taijutsu ougi: El Kabong no Justu" Just a freindly reminder, Sakura fans - ninjas flip out and kill people ALL the time!
I don't yet have a title for Chapter Four - but I do have a concept. This time, the dreamers include the Kyuubi - and she's having her favorite one, about wiping out those Leaf bastards without that blond idiot on a giant frog to get in her way. The only problem? A different blond idiot on the same damn frog... It's post-Gaara-rescue, so he's the third.
If there'll be more after that - who knows? Ideally, it would be 27 chapters to fit the subtitle, but... shyeah, right. I know how the last scene in the series will go, though - the solar storm that's been causing so many sunspots will break up, ending the odd effects felt by the more energy-sensitive inhabitants of its third planet.
Yup, sunspots. No meddling author-insert/deities, no hidden clauses in the Fuin Shiki Fujin, no time travel or soul bonds or chaos butterflies or destined paths struggling to right missteps... sunspots messing with people's chakra is what's causing the shared dreams.
Comments and suggestions, as always, are welcome.
>
>
>
> END OF LINESERVO: Loook *deeeeply* into my eyes... Tell me, what do you see?
CROW: (hypnotized) A twisted man who wants to inflict his pain upon others.
For the next 72 hours, Itachi intoned, I will slap you with this trout. - Spying no Jutsu, chapter 3
"In the futuristic taco bell of the year 20XX, justice wears an aluminum sombrero!"hemlock-martini
--
"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows