Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
The Death of a Hero
Re: The Death of a Hero, Part 3: The Hunter
#10
Tantalizing, intriguing, saddening...
More, please!
The only editorial comment I have to make is that you used "impart" twice in one sentence early on:
Quote:
The arrows he used were varied, but he most often used a blunt-tipped variety that acted like a taser or stun gun, imparting an electric shock in addition to the stunning force that they imparted on impact.
It detracts from the sentence.

-- Bob
---------
It's a "magical" land. I think "magical" is ancient Greek for "pain in the butt". -- Bun-Bun, Sluggy Freelance, 11/9/03
Reply


Messages In This Thread
The Death of a Hero - by Ebony - 08-16-2005, 12:16 AM
re: The Death of a Hero - by Rieverre - 08-16-2005, 11:15 PM
Re: re: The Death of a Hero - by Ebony - 08-16-2005, 11:59 PM
Re: The Death of a Hero - by Bob Schroeck - 08-17-2005, 02:21 PM
Re: The Death of a Hero, Part 3: The Hunter - by Bob Schroeck - 09-13-2005, 07:01 PM

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)