I have been busy but I've glanced over the mediaminer version, and it has lots of typos, most of which should be caught by a spell checker. Other than that
not bad, a few clarity problems here and there but nothing story breaking.
PS: I reiterate my hate for yuku.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
not bad, a few clarity problems here and there but nothing story breaking.
PS: I reiterate my hate for yuku.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."