"Hey, Shinji-kun. Sorry I'm late!"
Shinji Ikari was not happy. There were many reasons for this, starting with a poorly made
and quickly eaten breakfast followed by a very lonely train ride in from the countryside, the
huge monster attacking the city he'd just arrived in, and then being met by a beautiful woman
in a fast car. Normally, a teenage boy would not find either the beautiful woman or the fast
car to be reasons for distress, but then again, most teen age boys were not Shinji Ikari. To
Shinji, the beautiful woman with the fast car just screamed 'trouble'.
Well, Shinji knew how to deal with trouble. The voice that was quickly receding behind him
yelled "Shinji-Kun, where are you going? Get back here!"
-----------------------------------
Strapped quite tightly into his seat next to one Misato Katsuragi, Shinji Ikari decided that
it had been a bad idea to try to run away from the beautiful woman with the fast car while
she was still sitting in the drivers seat. She hadn't said anything since yelling at him for
ignoring her, and seemed intent on merely driving ridiculously fast. While normally Shinji
would be absolutely appalled by the speed they were travelling, considdering that they were
travelling away from the giant monster behind them, and away from the direction of the recent
N2 explosion (it was really quite fortunate that there was a large building between them and
the explosion, considdering how close they were to the blast), the incredible speed was
actually serving to calm him down somewhat. Perhaps she would do the sensible thing and
drive right out of the city - hopefully onto a boat going to the other side of the planet.
This hope was shattered when they entered a downward sloping entry tunnel to something called
"NERV Base Auxiliary Entrance 004". His curiosity and his survival sense piqued, Shinji
hazarded a question. "Where are we going?"
"Finally going to talk to me, huh, Shinji-Kun?" Misato gave him a pointed glance. Seeing
that her rhetorical question was not going to get an answer, she decided to enlighten her
passenger instead. She handed him his orientation kit and stated, "Welcome to NERV.
Humanity's last line of defense against the angels. Everything you need to know is in there.
Do you know why your father sent for you, Shinji-Kun?"
Shinji Ikari gave this question as much thought as it deserved - none whatsoever. "Of course
not. I haven't seen him since I was four - haven't so much as gotten a letter or a phone
call. I wouldn't even be here if my aunt and uncle hadn't forced me to get onto the train."
Misato gave him an almost pitying look, but then her expression changed and hardened. "Your
father is a very important man."
There was silence between them until they got on the elevator. They rode down for a long
time. Then Misato looked confused and they rode up for a long time. Then Misato looked
chagrined and they rode down for a long time again. Finally, they doors opened and a blond
woman got into the elevator with them. "Lost again, Misato-chan? Is this the boy?"
Blocking out their conversation, Shinji focused on the ominous shadow in the giant
semi-opaque windows on the far side of the expansive chamber. It looked vaguely
person-shaped, but huge. He somehow doubted that it was a statue. The rumbe of explosions
from up above further increased his worry.
Eventually, the elevator reached a walkway that lead - by Shinji's estimate - straight
towards the giant shadow's shoulder. The two older women got out of the elevator, expecting
him to follow. So of course he hit the button for the lowest level of the compound -
according to what he'd read in that information packet, the lowest level of the NERV complex
was the most heavily fortified location on the planet. He had skimmed it for items of
interest - to him anyway - and this had intrigued him greatly.
He was quite disappointed when Misato managed to get a hand in the closing doors in time to
stop him. Dragging his feet, he followed the women into a large chamber and onto a catwalk
over pink goo. To one side was a giant man-shaped machine. Above the machine was an
observation window, and on the other side of the window was his father.
"This is man's ultimate fighting machine" declared the blond doctor. "The Synthetic life form known as Evangelion. Unit One. Built here in
secret, it is mankind's last hope."
Shinji, feeling the need to respond in some way to this dramatic statement, backed up several steps and said, "It's not on, right?"
"Shinji. It's been a while." The familiar voice over the room's loudspeakers caused Shinji to look up, and meet his father's gaze. Gendou
Ikari stared down at him like a melavolent spirit wearing pretentious little glasses.
"Why have you called me here, father?" Shinji's voice sounded almost defiant - if you didn't know him. In reality, he was provoking his
father to monologue so that he could escape while the women's focus was away from him. This plan was foiled by another explosion above.
Instead of answering him, Gendou stated, "We're moving out."
"Moving out?!" Misato sounded quite shocked. "But Unit Zero is still in Cryo-stasis...Wait a minute; you're going to use UNIT ONE?!"
"There's no other way. All he has to do is sit in the seat." Ritsuko stated flatly.
All eyes turned to Shinji, who had just started to sneak off. "Don't look at me. I have nothing to do with this."
Nodding as if he knew this would happen, Gendou said, "Bring out the spare."
Sighing in relief, Shinji watched as a hospital gurney was weeled out onto the catwalk, a heavily bandaged girl lying on it. Tapping his feet, the only thought
that went through his head was, 'better her than me. She's probably at least trained for this.' Whistling a jaunty tune, he headed for the doors
the gurney came in from - that way had to be towards the hospital, and what safer place to hide in during a fight than that.
Then, a particularly violent explosion from above knocked a large I beam loose from the ceiling. It also knocked Shinji from his feet. In a move so fast that
no one could respond to it, Unit One's hand came up, deflected the falling beam away, grabbed Shinji around the waist, and stuffed him into the hatch of
the entry plug. Then, the entry plugged snugged back into place.
Stunned silence was followed by Misato's quiet comment. "Well, I guess that means he's piloting unit one."
--------------------------------------------
Scenes from later episodes:
Sachiel's fist pounds against Unit One's head again and again, until finally something snaps and Unit One's head intersect's Sachiel's.
Sachiel is thrown back, and the face plate of unit one cracks open. It's mouth opens wide for a yell, and out comes, "Crivens! Hey you scunner, I gie
you such a kickin!"
...
The burly kid advanced on Shinji. "You're the Pilot of the Evangelion aren't you?"
"No, I'm not."
His refusal was met by a growl. "Then why do you wear that silly helmet?"
Shinji considdered the helmet, onto which he had carefully stencilled the word 'Pyllot'.
"It's to protect my head. You'd be amazed at the number of things and people in this town that try to hit me."
The burly kid considdered this for a momment, and then punched Shinji in the stomach. "That's for my sister."
...
The Cast:
Shinji Ikari - Played by Rhincewind
Rei Ayanami - Played by Susan Sto Helit
Asuka Soryu-Langely - Played by Tiffany Aching
Units 0-3 - Played by the Nac Mac Feegle (in various armor color schemes)
The Magi computer - Played by Death
"Not this again!" Minerva said. "Albus, it was You-Know-Who, not you, who marked Harry as his equal. There is no possible way that the prophecy could be talking about you!" - Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality, Chapter 84
Shinji Ikari was not happy. There were many reasons for this, starting with a poorly made
and quickly eaten breakfast followed by a very lonely train ride in from the countryside, the
huge monster attacking the city he'd just arrived in, and then being met by a beautiful woman
in a fast car. Normally, a teenage boy would not find either the beautiful woman or the fast
car to be reasons for distress, but then again, most teen age boys were not Shinji Ikari. To
Shinji, the beautiful woman with the fast car just screamed 'trouble'.
Well, Shinji knew how to deal with trouble. The voice that was quickly receding behind him
yelled "Shinji-Kun, where are you going? Get back here!"
-----------------------------------
Strapped quite tightly into his seat next to one Misato Katsuragi, Shinji Ikari decided that
it had been a bad idea to try to run away from the beautiful woman with the fast car while
she was still sitting in the drivers seat. She hadn't said anything since yelling at him for
ignoring her, and seemed intent on merely driving ridiculously fast. While normally Shinji
would be absolutely appalled by the speed they were travelling, considdering that they were
travelling away from the giant monster behind them, and away from the direction of the recent
N2 explosion (it was really quite fortunate that there was a large building between them and
the explosion, considdering how close they were to the blast), the incredible speed was
actually serving to calm him down somewhat. Perhaps she would do the sensible thing and
drive right out of the city - hopefully onto a boat going to the other side of the planet.
This hope was shattered when they entered a downward sloping entry tunnel to something called
"NERV Base Auxiliary Entrance 004". His curiosity and his survival sense piqued, Shinji
hazarded a question. "Where are we going?"
"Finally going to talk to me, huh, Shinji-Kun?" Misato gave him a pointed glance. Seeing
that her rhetorical question was not going to get an answer, she decided to enlighten her
passenger instead. She handed him his orientation kit and stated, "Welcome to NERV.
Humanity's last line of defense against the angels. Everything you need to know is in there.
Do you know why your father sent for you, Shinji-Kun?"
Shinji Ikari gave this question as much thought as it deserved - none whatsoever. "Of course
not. I haven't seen him since I was four - haven't so much as gotten a letter or a phone
call. I wouldn't even be here if my aunt and uncle hadn't forced me to get onto the train."
Misato gave him an almost pitying look, but then her expression changed and hardened. "Your
father is a very important man."
There was silence between them until they got on the elevator. They rode down for a long
time. Then Misato looked confused and they rode up for a long time. Then Misato looked
chagrined and they rode down for a long time again. Finally, they doors opened and a blond
woman got into the elevator with them. "Lost again, Misato-chan? Is this the boy?"
Blocking out their conversation, Shinji focused on the ominous shadow in the giant
semi-opaque windows on the far side of the expansive chamber. It looked vaguely
person-shaped, but huge. He somehow doubted that it was a statue. The rumbe of explosions
from up above further increased his worry.
Eventually, the elevator reached a walkway that lead - by Shinji's estimate - straight
towards the giant shadow's shoulder. The two older women got out of the elevator, expecting
him to follow. So of course he hit the button for the lowest level of the compound -
according to what he'd read in that information packet, the lowest level of the NERV complex
was the most heavily fortified location on the planet. He had skimmed it for items of
interest - to him anyway - and this had intrigued him greatly.
He was quite disappointed when Misato managed to get a hand in the closing doors in time to
stop him. Dragging his feet, he followed the women into a large chamber and onto a catwalk
over pink goo. To one side was a giant man-shaped machine. Above the machine was an
observation window, and on the other side of the window was his father.
"This is man's ultimate fighting machine" declared the blond doctor. "The Synthetic life form known as Evangelion. Unit One. Built here in
secret, it is mankind's last hope."
Shinji, feeling the need to respond in some way to this dramatic statement, backed up several steps and said, "It's not on, right?"
"Shinji. It's been a while." The familiar voice over the room's loudspeakers caused Shinji to look up, and meet his father's gaze. Gendou
Ikari stared down at him like a melavolent spirit wearing pretentious little glasses.
"Why have you called me here, father?" Shinji's voice sounded almost defiant - if you didn't know him. In reality, he was provoking his
father to monologue so that he could escape while the women's focus was away from him. This plan was foiled by another explosion above.
Instead of answering him, Gendou stated, "We're moving out."
"Moving out?!" Misato sounded quite shocked. "But Unit Zero is still in Cryo-stasis...Wait a minute; you're going to use UNIT ONE?!"
"There's no other way. All he has to do is sit in the seat." Ritsuko stated flatly.
All eyes turned to Shinji, who had just started to sneak off. "Don't look at me. I have nothing to do with this."
Nodding as if he knew this would happen, Gendou said, "Bring out the spare."
Sighing in relief, Shinji watched as a hospital gurney was weeled out onto the catwalk, a heavily bandaged girl lying on it. Tapping his feet, the only thought
that went through his head was, 'better her than me. She's probably at least trained for this.' Whistling a jaunty tune, he headed for the doors
the gurney came in from - that way had to be towards the hospital, and what safer place to hide in during a fight than that.
Then, a particularly violent explosion from above knocked a large I beam loose from the ceiling. It also knocked Shinji from his feet. In a move so fast that
no one could respond to it, Unit One's hand came up, deflected the falling beam away, grabbed Shinji around the waist, and stuffed him into the hatch of
the entry plug. Then, the entry plugged snugged back into place.
Stunned silence was followed by Misato's quiet comment. "Well, I guess that means he's piloting unit one."
--------------------------------------------
Scenes from later episodes:
Sachiel's fist pounds against Unit One's head again and again, until finally something snaps and Unit One's head intersect's Sachiel's.
Sachiel is thrown back, and the face plate of unit one cracks open. It's mouth opens wide for a yell, and out comes, "Crivens! Hey you scunner, I gie
you such a kickin!"
...
The burly kid advanced on Shinji. "You're the Pilot of the Evangelion aren't you?"
"No, I'm not."
His refusal was met by a growl. "Then why do you wear that silly helmet?"
Shinji considdered the helmet, onto which he had carefully stencilled the word 'Pyllot'.
"It's to protect my head. You'd be amazed at the number of things and people in this town that try to hit me."
The burly kid considdered this for a momment, and then punched Shinji in the stomach. "That's for my sister."
...
The Cast:
Shinji Ikari - Played by Rhincewind
Rei Ayanami - Played by Susan Sto Helit
Asuka Soryu-Langely - Played by Tiffany Aching
Units 0-3 - Played by the Nac Mac Feegle (in various armor color schemes)
The Magi computer - Played by Death
"Not this again!" Minerva said. "Albus, it was You-Know-Who, not you, who marked Harry as his equal. There is no possible way that the prophecy could be talking about you!" - Harry Potter and the Method of Rationality, Chapter 84