Quote:Zeke astounded them when he explained why he saved the man. It amazed them to think that Americans could be so bold and reckless with their own lives when someone else was in danger. Zeke countered:
He didn't risk his life, now if he jumped down to the tracks to pull the man back up sure, but that is not what happens. this part just makes me grit my teeth, and the previous bit was just exposition, understandable in a prologue, but it doesn't really pull one in.
By the middle of this prologue I thouroughly hate the main character and wanted to rip his guts out, not sure why he causes such antipathy but I think it's the Mary sue tendencies and the fact that you tell us stuff and don't show it. it gets better in the second half but honestly i would have stopped reading before then unless several people on this forum recommended it or I was a fan of your other works. And even then I might skip it.
Skimmed through the post timeskip stuff and i see more of the same problems. show us what happend don't tell us. yes it is hard.
E: "Did they... did they just endorse the combination of the JSDF and US Army by showing them as two lesbian lolicons moving in together and holding hands and talking about how 'intimate' they were?"
B: "Have you forgotten so soon? They're phasing out Don't Ask, Don't Tell."